Above is an 18th century "witch bottle," used to fend off evil spirits. Discovered at a construction site in the London borough of Greenwich, this example is particularly rare because it's still corked. Retired chemistry professor Dr. Alan Massey analyzed the bottle and its curious contents. From Fortean Times:

(The bottle) contained 12 bent iron nails (one of which pierced a small leather heart), eight brass pins, 10 adult fingernail pairings (sic) (not from a manual worker, but a person "of some social standing"), a quantity of hair and urine with traces of nicotine, indicating it had come from a smoker. There were also traces of sulphur, then known as brimstone, and what is thought to be navel fluff. The brimstone recalled the passage in Revelation where the beast and the false prophet were "cast alive into a lake of fire burning with brimstone".

"Discovery of witch bottle used to drive away evil spells"

This looks like a truly useless, and depressingly ugly device for cracking eggs (which this TV commercial would like you to believe is a big problem).

Last month, I wrote about a Japanese husband who confessed to his wife that he had a virtual girlfriend, a character from an addictive Nintendo DS game called Love Plus. Now, another man is planning to hold a wedding ceremony with his Love Plus girlfriend this coming Sunday. The man, who calls himself SAL9000, was so in love with Nene Anegasaki that he decided to marry her and take her on a honeymoon to Guam. Of course, this means that he literally just took his Nintendo DS to Guam... while there, he took photos, livecast their adventures on popular video-sharing site Nico Nico Douga, and documented their adventures using the augmented reality iPhone app Sekai Camera. In any case, the guy plans on having a public reception in Tokyo this Sunday. It will be livecast on Nico Nico Douga, but in case you miss it, we'll be bringing you an update early next week. Stay tuned!

via IT Media News (Japanese)

This fellow apparently won a facial hair competition in 1991 for his beard head-cage with working door. (via Imaginary Foundation)

UPDATE: In the comments, lots of speculation that this is fake. May very well be, but I still think it's delightful.

A hamster-themed hotel in Nantes, France, offers rooms and layouts inspired by hamster-cages. Rooms have hamster wheels, the food is all grains and seeds, the water comes out of hamster bottles, etc.

At French hamster hotel, live like a rodent (via Making Light)

Michael-Anne Rauback spotted these two antique Oddfellows items on eBay and they're quite, er, odd. The first item up for bid is this wire mesh ceremonial mask with real hair. From the same seller come three pairs of "ceremonial goggles/blinders." The goggles/blinders "are made of leather, with metal over the eyes, which open and close."

No non-Euclidean kittens are harmed in this video. Just your sanity. [Cyriak's YouTube Channel]

GitEmSteveDave made a magnetic Starbucks paper cup to attach to the roof of his car.

He drives around and tweets peoples' reactions. Sample tweet: "13 honks, 3 points, 2 mimes, 3 StopLightTells, 1 flash, 1 wave, 2 laughs, 5 AlongSideRiders, 4 2xTakes, & 1 cute girl took my picture."

He shares how he made the cup on Instructables.

How to make a roof coffee cup.

(Warning: fish is not dead)

For nearly a century, there have been strange sightings of people flying through the air, or hovering anyway. Now, I'm not talking about Superman, but rather groups of people on floating platforms or rocketmen launching through the sky propelled by jetpacks. I think it's intriguing that these sightings are so very different (and more interesting, in my opinion) than classic flying saucer reports. Fortean Times surveyed these accounts of "aeronauts from the future," or hallucinations, or platforms hanging from zeppelins, or, depending on the year, maybe experimental flying platforms in development. For example, the Hiller VZ-1 Pawnee was built in 1954, but the first report referenced the Fortean Times article is from 1916 (and published decades later as a letter-to-the-editor in the Daily Mirror.) Details after the jump.

Dutch soccer player Robin van Persie who plays for the Arsenal and Netherlands teams is seeking an unusual medical treatment for partially-torn ankle ligaments that have sidelined him. He's headed to Serbia for a massage with placenta fluid. From The Guardian:

Speaking to Dutch television programme Studio Voetbal, the Arsenal striker revealed: "I will fly to the Balkans to meet with a female doctor who helped [PSV Eindhoven midfielder] Danko Lazovic. She is vague about her methods but I know she massages you using fluid from a placenta. I am going to try. It cannot hurt and, if it helps, it helps. I have been in contact with Arsenal physiotherapists and they have let me do it."

"Arsenal's Robin van Persie to soothe ankle pains with placenta massage" (Thanks, Carlo Longino!)

Three homeless men in Russia were arrested for allegedly killing a man, eating some of him, and then selling hunks of his flesh to a kebab kiosk. From Reuters:

"After carrying out the crime, the corpse was divided up: part was eaten and part was also sold to a kiosk selling kebabs and pies," the prosecutor's main investigative unit for the Perm region said.

It was not immediately clear from the statement if any of the corpse had been sold to customers.

"Body parts sold to kebab stand, police say"

Lovecraftians rejoice! Thanks to Lil Cthulhu, it's much easier to initiate our young ones into the magic of the Great Old Ones! Animation by Zachary Murray with the voice of Erika Fontana. From the video description:

Meet little Cthulhu, who lives in the magic city of R'lyeh with all his friends, as you and your child embark on a fun and educational journey through the world of the Great Old Ones, meeting all kinds of new buddies from the Necronomicon along the way, from Azathoth to Yog-Sothoth! This series has won multiple awards and has been enthusiastically approved by the department of child-developmental psychology at Miskatonic University.

The Adventures of Lil Cthulhu (Thanks, Gareth Branwyn!)

The aim of Orgy, circa 1967, is to see how far you can pour "your favorite libation" into someone's mouth using the "beautiful hand-blown Porron." (i am bored via @fordradio)

So this is apparently real (?!): an eyeball removal tool for "Reborn" baby-dolls. Holy creepy.

BEST REBORN EYEBALL-REMOVING TOOL I'VE FOUND! (Thanks, Fipi Lele!)

We've posted before about Dock Ellis. He was the baseball player who in 1970 pitched a no-hitter for the Pittsburgh Pirates while tripping balls on LSD. Ellis died last year. In his honor, James Blagden and Chris Isenberg animated Ellis's retelling of his acid adventure on the mound. "Dock Ellis's Legendary LSD No-Hitter animation" (Dangerous Minds)

A woman in Florida bought a bunch of wrapping paper for Christmas at a dollar store and when she brought it home, she noticed that one of the rolls had swastikas on it. The manager of the store said the paper was made in China and he didn't know about the swastikas.

Woman discovers swastikas on gift wrapping paper

Guestblogger Arthur Goldwag is the author of "Cults, Conspiracies, and Secret Societies: The Straight Scoop on Freemasons, The Illuminati, Skull and Bones, Black Helicopters, The New World Order, and many, many more" and other books.

Charles P. Peirce's bestseller IDIOT AMERICA: HOW STUPIDITY BECAME A VIRTUE IN THE LAND OF THE FREE includes a wonderful portrait of Ignatius L. Donnelly (1831-1901), the lawyer, US Congressman, founder of a failed Utopian city, and bestselling author of three influential books: ATLANTIS: THE ANTEDILUVIAN WORLD (1882), which sparked the Atlantis mania that continues to this day, RAGNAROK: THE AGE OF FIRE AND GRAVEL (1883), which anticipated Immanuel Velikovsky's WORLDS IN COLLISION (1950) by more than half a century by attributing a world-wide deluge that sank Atlantis and wiped out the world's Mammoths to a near-collision with a comet (TRIVIA QUIZ: Can you guess what other pseudo-scientific classic was published in 1950? ANSWER: L. Ron Hubbard's DIANETICS), and then in 1889, THE GREAT CRYPTOGRAM, which argued that Francis Bacon wrote Shakespeare's plays and scattered clues to his authorship throughout them. Pierce considers the wildly creative, fiercely productive, and swiftly-forgotten Donnelley to be one of America's great cranks. "Cranks are noble," Peirce says, "because cranks are independent. A charlatan is a crank who sells out." It's like the difference between kitsch and dreck--people who make kitsch are sincere. Cynical purveyors of political and cultural dreck like Glenn Beck and Rush Limbaugh know better--they're in it for the money and the power and the fame.

Above are examples of deer butt face taxidermy art. Yes, indeedy. For more about this fine craft, visit "Make your own redneck art." Note that the description of the process, and reference to a hunter's "game dressing tool" called "Butt Out," may be offensive to some. Deer butt face mounts can also be found on eBay. (Thanks, Michael-Anne and Barnaby!)

Yesterday, my husband went hunting around the Internets for a new dining room lamp. This is one of the options he presented me with. Only $189. Cheap!

Sadly, no Battlestar model is available. Or a Death Star. I might have gone for a Death Star.

Star Ship Chandelier from eLights

If you're a self-identified vampire, "otherkin" or "energy worker," there's a Meetup for you in the Bay Area.

The Vampirism, Energy-work and Otherkin Society (VEOS) is a loosely-organized San Francisco based group. This group is open those identifying as vampire (sang or psy), donor, otherkin, and to those who wish to learn more about such topics. Other energy-workers are also welcome, so long as you have no problem with the vampiric side of energy work.

This group is NOT open to role-players, recruiters of any type, or those seeking to promote any form of religion (discussion about religion is OK, preaching is not).

You know, I bet it's actually a pretty nice night out. As one member says, "we are all nice people and we have a good time when we get together."

Welcome to Bay VEOS (via JWZ)

This "collectible" and curious coaster set from Wendy's is up for auction on eBay. The starting bid is $9.99. According the listing, "All pieces are in EXCELLENT condition except the corner of the cheese has a small chip but still very usable."
"Collectible Wendy’s Restaurant Hamburger Coaster Set" (Thanks, Michael-Anne Rauback!)

Guestblogger Arthur Goldwag is the author of "Cults, Conspiracies, and Secret Societies: The Straight Scoop on Freemasons, The Illuminati, Skull and Bones, Black Helicopters, The New World Order, and many, many more" and other books.

On September 15, 2009, THE LOST SYMBOL came off press. Fans of THE DA VINCI CODE, with more than 80 million copies in print perhaps the bestselling novel of all time, were thrilled--they had been waiting for Dan Brown to write another book for six years. Random House, B&N, and Amazon were delighted; they moved more than a million copies in twenty four hours and another million copies by the end of the week; two months later, it still sits high atop the bestseller lists.

The Masons breathed a sigh of relief, because, even if Brown had sensationalized their secret rites and made them look a little silly (drinking wine out of skulls and all that--which come to think of it, is a lot less demeaning than donning fezzes and driving miniature cars in parades, which members of the Masonic fraternity called the Ancient Arab Order of the Nobles of the Mystic Shrine, better known as the Shriners, do right out in public), he portrayed them as men of reason, and implied that their ranks are still as crowded with the powerful and the wealthy -- Cabinet secretaries, plutocrats, Senators, Museum directors -- as they were two centuries ago, when they could count Goethe, Mozart, George Washington, Lafayette and Paul Revere among their members.

I was guardedly hopeful myself. With all those Masonic symbols on its cover, I figured that CULTS, CONSPIRACIES AND SECRET SOCIETIES stood a small chance of being captured by THE LOST SYMBOL's commercial gravity, much as a tiny planetesimal can get pulled into a gas giant's orbit. But happiest of all was Lynne McTaggart, the real-life author of THE FIELD and THE INTENTION EXPERIMENT, whose books and research in the field of Noetic Science are specifically cited in THE LOST SYMBOL's pages.

Popular Science is reporting that a piece of bread, dropped by a passing bird, has managed to damage the Large Hadron Collider.

The bird dropped some bread on a section of outdoor machinery, eventually leading to significant over heating in parts of the accelerator. The LHC was not operational at the time of the incident, but the spike produced so much heat that had the beam been on, automatic failsafes would have shut down the machine.

If this really is the work of time-traveling Higgs boson particles, however, they're demonstrating a lot of creativity, but not a lot of competence. The Bird Incident won't delay the reactivation of the facility, which is still scheduled for later this month.

Baguette Dropped From Bird's Beak Shuts Down the Large Hadron Collider (Really), Popular Science. You should follow the link just to see their illustration "according to eyewitness accounts". Via stevesilberman.

Absolutely, positively need a beard now? Simply enjoy looking at photos of cute girls sporting fake beards? Yeah. There's an Etsy for that.

imadeyouabeard store on Etsy. Thanks, Christina!

And, yes, I am getting a little obsessed with the whacked-out wonder of Etsy. Why do you ask?

The following is an update to this previous post. So here's another video gem from Supreme Master TV, uploaded and blogged by Robert Popper.

Why doesn't every television news network run stuff like what's in this clip? Say what you will about "God's Direct Contact," at least her broadcast devotees say thank you to journalists and photographers for doing all we do for "humans and animals," and "especially while on duty." I'd like to hope they think that what we do here at Boing Boing "uplifts the atmosphere of the world."

A number of Boing Boing readers responded to my earlier post with personal stories of (apparently quite tasty) meals eaten at the vegan restaurant chain owned by personality cult leader Supreme Master Ching Hai. But BB reader HiTek LoLife takes the tofu cake, with a personal anecdote re-blogged in full after the jump.

My friends Christy Canida and Eric Wilhelm of Instructables dressed up their lovely daughter Corvidae as a three-armed happy mutant (!) baby! Naturally, they posted an Instructable about it:

This year we were a Nuclear Family for Halloween, with our 4-month-old daughter Corvidae dressed up as a 3-armed happy mutant.

While we wanted to be subtle, this was almost too subtle - she wore the costume all day, and hardly anyone noticed!  But when they finally detected a problem, the responses were excellent.

Happy Mutant 3-Armed Baby Costume

James N. P. Miller of Cincinnati was wearing a breathalyzer costume when he was arrested from drunk driving.

Inside his car, officers allegedly found an open container of Bud Light in the center console.

Officers also found what was left of a case of Bud Light in the passenger side front seat and in the trunk.

He was arrested and transported to the police station, where he consented to take a blood-alcohol-content test. His results were a .158 percent BAC.

Man in breathalyzer costume charged with drunken driving

Joshuah Bearman says:

Proximity to Halloween, and sheer fascination has moved me to highlight this great article I read a little while ago. It is about Zombies, the Haitian kind, and is the best Zombie-related story in recent memory. Of any kind: no comic, game, literary mash up, or blockbuster matches this article in Men's Journal (of all places)! The piece is a detailed look at the elaborate system of secret societies, ritual magic, and pharmacologically-induced human trafficking that is the Haitian zombie culture.

It is incredible. Even if you are familiar with Wade Davis, or have read The Serpent and the Rainbow, or seen the mediocre movie, Berlinski’s story is still incredible. In addition to the background on how zombies may or may not be created, it's like a mystery that plays out in the byzantine world of zombie administration, which sounds like an episode of Trueblood, with regional hierarchies of Chief Sorcerers and Departmental Chiefs and Presidents and Emperors and Queens and their sorcerer secretaries. Not to mention the zombie passports — documents that allow one to create, hold, or move your zombie from region to region. (Yes, such things exist; there are pictures.)

Berlinski follows Madame Zicot, a woman trying to track down her zombified daughter, Nadathe, by navigating her way through the secret societies. (And yes, they do accessorize with candle-topped skulls and convene at midnight.) It is gripping as an occult procedural, and heartbreaking as a story of real personal tragedy.

The Best Zombie Story of the Year

How much do you get paid to poop? That's the question asked by Workpoop.com, a Web site that will, helpfully, time your restroom breaks and then calculate how much money you make while on the toilet using that time, the number of times you go per week and your hourly salary. I'm torn between three feelings here: First, a childish glee; Second, a childish disappointment that I can't really participate, what with not having an hourly salary; and Third, the creeping sensation that, somewhere, somebody's boss is using this to shorten their break times.

Workpoop, your pay-per-poo calculator. Via Barfblog.

BoingBoing: We have a lot of archived articles about poop.

Image from Flickr user lilit, via CC.

Photographer Susan Anderson took a series of absolutely surreal portraits of young children participating in beauty pagents. She compiled the work in a book, High Glitz: The Extravagant World of Child Pageants. You can view many of the images on Anderson's site as well. (Or, right now at the Kopeikin Gallery in Los Angeles.) From the powerHouse Books site:

"High Glitz" is a subgenre of child beauty pageants characterized by couture "glitz" costumes and a broad array of cosmetic preparations including, among other tricks of the trade: glamour makeup, elaborate hairstyles, and "flippers" (false front teeth veneers). Anderson's stunning visuals are complimented by a "High Glitz Style Guide," defining and providing examples of the following categories: Beauty/ Formal Wear, Western Wear, Sportswear, and Swimwear, with a special section on hairstyles such as the "Barbie" and the "Up-do."

Each year as many as 100,000 children under the age of 12 participate in U.S. child beauty pageants, and it has recently become a billion-dollar industry. Parents invest thousands of dollars on costumes and private coaches to give their children a competitive edge. Countless hours are spent by professional hair and makeup artists on each child in preparation for the competition. The girls are spray-tanned, made-up, and groomed to a glossy perfection. Anderson captures the results of this time-consuming transformation process in exquisite detail.

High Glitz: The Extravagant World of Child Pageants (Amazon, thanks Bob Pescovitz!)

Woman's Day has a gallery of cheese sculptures that can't be missed, from this almost-perverse "Winners Drink Milk" piece, to a phallic Eiffel Tower, to a leprechaun-like Abe Lincoln made from a 1,000-pound block of mild Cheddar cheese.

8 Cutting-Edge Cheese Sculptures

We've posted before about the Mad Gasser of Mattoon: In 1944, the small town of Mattoon, Illinois was terrorized by a creepy black-clad prowler who sprayed anesthetic gas in his victims' faces. Or maybe it was all a case of mass hysteria based mostly on myth. The new episode of the excellent Memory Palace podcast features the delightfully weird tale of the Mad Gasser. The Memory Palace: "A Gas Gas Gas"

These gentlemen attempted to rob a Carroll, Iowa home while disguised with, er, Sharpie marker. Police responded to a call and spotted the getaway car driven by Matthew Allan McNelly, 23, and Joey Lee Miller, 20. The guy on the right has the Clockwork Orange eye happening and, as Rob says, the man on the left looks vaguely like Catwoman. Or is it Gene Simmons?

John Gallone says: "Wanted to keep you informed as to what's afoot in the British Columbia mysterious foot finds. A new appendage was found in Richmond, near Vancouver B.C.,Tuesday October 20, this brings to seven the number of 'Mystery Feet' found so far."

The first severed foot, discovered in August 2007, was associated with a deceased man whose name police withheld at the request of his family.

A man's right foot found on Gabriola Island in August 2007 remains unidentified.

Two feet found on Valdez and Westham islands in July 2008 belonged to the same man.

And two feet found in Richmond in December 2008 belonged to the same woman.

Foot found on Richmond beach is seventh foot found on B.C. coast

Over at Dangerous Minds, my pal Tara McGinley uncovered the insane allure of The Maskatorium, one person's incredible collection of weird masks from around the world. You can view EYE-talian's collection on Flickr. Here's what EYE-talian says about where it started:

"I've been collecting masks since 1989 when I first purchased a mask in Cancun, Mexico. I was intrigued by the weird hallucinogenic Mexican masks because they looked similar to the oddball sketches I was doing at the time.

On subsequent visits I purchased additional masks, usually buying the most unusual masks I could find and/or what my budget and baggage limits would allow. In the meantime, I stumbled upon some very cool German paper mache, and starched buckram Halloween masks at antique shows around Cincinnati and picked those up as well. I never had any intention of amassing a formal "collection" but one thing lead to another and then.... Holy Shit... Ebay!

The Maskatorium

Paul Devereux's book "The Long Trip: A Prehistory of Psychedelia" presents the fascinating story of psychedelic use before the Hoffman/Leary era that we're all familiar with. Devereux travels way back, exploring shamanism, 'shrooms in rock art, the oracle at Delphi, the pre-Incan construction of the Chavín de Huántar temple, etc. In honor of Halloween, the Daily Grail's Greg Taylor, who republished The Long Trip last year, presents an excerpt from the book about possible links between medieval witches and hallucinogenic substances. Special bonus broomstick trivia is after the jump. From The Long Trip:

A Belgian witch called Claire Goessen confessed in 1603 that she had flown to sabbats several times on a staff smeared with an unguent. In northern France in 1460, five women confessed to receiving a salve from the Devil himself, which they rubbed on their hands and on a small wooden rod they placed between their legs and flew upon "above good towns and woods and waters." Swedish witches in 1669 rode "over churches and high walls" on a beast given to them by the Devil who also issued them with a horn containing a salve with which they anointed themselves. Members of Somerset covens admitted to smearing their foreheads and wrists with a greenish ointment "which smells raw" before their meetings...

A college couple in Nevada miraculously survived with minor injuries when a drunk driver drove a car right through the wall of their house and onto their bed last week. They lay pinned to their mattress for about an hour until emergency workers showed up with chainsaws and released them. The accused, Eric Cross, had mistaken their house for one belonging to his ex-girlfriend and her new mate. An excerpt from CNN:

Initially, Woods struggled to comprehend what had happened to him after being abruptly torn from his slumber.

"I thought the roof caved in from an earthquake because it's an old house," Woods said.

Then, his girlfriend began screaming and parts of the car came into focus, helping Woods to groggily piece the scene together,

"I could see the tire to the right side and I was like, there's a car on top of me right now," he said. "That was really hard to get through my head."

Couple alive after car pins them to bed for almost an hour

Image: Sparks Fire Department

Tim says: "Governator Arnold hides a colorful response in a carefully worded veto."

Schwarzenegger's press secretary, Aaron McLear, insisted Tuesday it was simply a "weird coincidence."

Can a statistician gives us the odds of this happening, please?

Did Schwarzenegger drop 4-letter bomb in veto?

Who in their right mind could resist a meat dish prepared to resemble a human hand?

The complete recipe with lots of photos is available from Not Martha. (Thanks, Caroline!)

Superpunch has several photos and videos of champion arm wrestler Matthias Schlitte. If you look closely, his right arm appears to be larger than his left arm.

Police are still trying to find the driver of a BMW station wagon who drove on top of two other cars in a North Toronto gym parking lot, then left the scene.

Napalm Dragon posted a gorgeous super slow motion video of fire breathing. (via @futuryst)

The Work Office in New York City is a participatory performance art installation inspired by the Works Progress Administration of the Great Depression. Over the summer, the two administrators of The Work Office -- Katarina Jerinic and Naomi Miller -- interviewed, hired, and assigned creative types to do various, er, odd jobs, like reinterpretng a newspaper photograph, start an American tradition that you'd like to be preserved, or giving a concert for your houseplant. A week's wage is $23.50 and the paychecks are distributed at public parties/openings. Jerinic and Miller are currently seeking funds via Kickstarter to re-open The Work Office again soon. The Work Office (Thanks, Miss Heather Sparks!)

Huffington Post offers a selection of racist Halloween pet costumes. [via The Awl]