Internet access guide 2025: Dystopian humor

By Cory Doctorow at 5:52 am Monday, Jul 5

Philipp Lenssen's "How to Access the Internet (A Guide from 2025)" is a wicked, satirical extrapolation of the current trends in network control, censorship and regulation. You'll LOL* in terror:

Getting your Internet Surfing License is a necessary prerequisite in making the web safe for everyone. Before governments made the ISL mandatory, people often found themselves lost in the myriad of web sites, naively double-clicking Hit The Monkey to Win iPad ads, finding themselves spammed by pop-unders. Acquiring the license typically takes only between 2-5 days of education by your local Surf Training School. You will need to carefully prepare for the final test, in which you are required to answer simple questions like:

* What is a pyramid scheme, and do they really work?
* How do I replace the solar cells on my cyber glove?
* Why exactly is it bad for people to badmouth their governments or big companies online?
* Why is it illegal to surf without a RealIdentity card?
* In which year did Google buy the internet?

How to Access the Internet (A Guide from 2025)

* "LOL - The word by word meaning of this abbreviation has been lost in history - you may remember that the 2015 CleanUpTheNet Act accidentally deleted quite a bit of archive material - though it is generally interpreted as a form of laughter (it has also replaced Bless You as a reply to when someone sneezes)."