I pulled up my sample ballot for Minneapolis elections today, and found something absolutely fabulous. Take a look at the second-from-last candidate. Specifically, his party affiliation. God, I love this town. The ballot just gets better when you know what an Edgertonite is.
Fun With the Minneapolis Mayoral Race
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No Lizard People?
Sadly, not this year.
Are there any Edgartonites besides John Charles Wilson? It strikes me as one of those kinds of crazy with a low risk of contagion.
He really missed the boat bu not claiming the, "is the Winner!" label.
Joey Lombard is INDEED awesome.
"Are there any Edgartonites besides John Charles Wilson?"
I would guess his campaign has a Treasure.
You have to wonder what the moderate progressives was before they were censored.
Bob Carney Jr. is listed as "Moderate Progressive Censored." What political affiliation is "censored"? Or did the board of elections not allow something else to be printed.
I'm sorta curious as to what a "moderate progressive censored" is. Was the last word censored for the ballot? Was it "motherfucker"? Because I'd be behind a party called "moderate progressive motherfuckers."
Ah, a quick Google shows me that yes, the last word was censored, after some court kerfuffle. But it was "Republican" (you may make your own republican/motherfucker joke now).
Everything about that Egertonite link is funny, except the age-of-consent stuff, which is icky.
Jon Tevlin's Oct 15 Strib column about the Lombard candidacy:
"My girlfriend was always whining about how I don't do enough for the world," said Lombard. "So I said, 'OK, I'm going to run for mayor of Minneapolis and make everybody love each other."
http://www.startribune.com/local/64180122.html?elr=KArks:DCiUHc3E7_V_nDaycUiacyKUUr
http://joeyformayor.com
"Joey [will put] his years of playing Sim City to use."
"Joey, like most people, started life as a baby and he only got bigger from there."
Yes, it's safe to say that Joey Lombard is awesome and should be mayor.
The Religion behind Edgartonites explained on Mr. Wilson's site.
"Due to visions I began seeing in May 1982, I believe that Laura Ingalls Wilder is God."
Oh...my...
http://www.johncharleswilson.name/Minister.html
Well, Joey Lombard's just zis guy, ya know?
As a friend of mine put it, "If that were the case, you'd think Pa Ingalls would have been able to been able to eek out One. Damned. Crop."
R.T. Ryback was my first choice, but Joey Lombard was my second. We do ranked-choice voting in Minneapolis, now, so I could vote for both.
I love that Lauraism assumes that Utah is an independent country, like Israel.
Lizard People, FWIW, was not in the city of Minneapolis.
CAPTCHA: iavi toked... really????
And here I thought the "Rent Is Too Damn High" party was awesome.
I personally like the fact that Joey graduated "sub cum laude" from High School. If you go to his blog, he signs his blog entries
Joey Lombard
Practically Mayor
Brilliant!
have you seen joey lombard's stance on puppies?
http://www.joeyformayor.com/blog/index.php?/archives/2-Apparently,-only-I-love-puppies..html
From the Edgerton page linked in the OP:
PARTY OFFICERS:
National Chairman: John Charles Wilson
Deputy Chairman: (vacant)
National Treasurer: John Charles Wilson
Director of Club Development and Publicity: (vacant)
National Press Officer: (vacant)
This party just rules...
I believe it's just the Rent is Too High party on the ballot, which lessens the appeal.
I'm also a fan of the guy running for Manhattan Borough President on the platform eliminating the position of Manhattan Borough President.
What's with all the Democrat-Farmer-Labor candidates splitting the vote? Can't they make up their minds and pick one candidate?
It's complicated. The city allows you to list either your political philosophy OR a political party you're affiliated with. One or the other. Not both.
For instance, "Papa" John Kolstad up there is endorsed by the Republican Party and the Independence Party (which is a thing here). And he used to be a Green (don't ask). But, apparently, he thought "Independent Civic Leader" would fly better than either party affiliation. So he went with that.
Carney wanted to be a "Moderate Progressive Republican". He says that's his philosophy. The city says it's a philosophy and a party, so he can't do that. Thus, the "Censored".
I still prefer "Moderate Progressive Motherfuckers", though.
now, THAT'S democracy! why not let anyone interested apply for the job?
when i lived in Greece, they had a presidential ballot that was a BOOK. one guy campaigned by riding around the country on a donkey, another used public access cable -- he'd just sit down and talk while eating his dinner... beautiful, really.
Best post of the week!
Why can't local elections across the nation be more like the mayoral race in Minneapolis? Given that Governor Jessy ran and won with a bunch of goofy comercials, I suspect Joey has a good chance provided everyone actually reads the whole ballot.
I'm not sure if perhaps I found this link on BB to begin with, but this coluumn from the StarTribune is a charming and enjoyable read about Joey Lombard:
http://www.startribune.com/local/64180122.html?elr=KArks:DCiUHc3E7_V_nDaycUiacyKUUr
cheers,
Ha!
The next scheduled meeting of the Edgertonite National Party will be replaced with a "semi-private defeat party for John Charles Wilson".
Glad to see he's realistic about his prospects.
@Starfive
Note that Lombard has not promised to not kill *any* puppies -- just not *all* puppies... that's truly worthy of the "is awesome" label. Even mean puppy killers can get on board with that, unless their plan is to drive dogs to extinction.
How is the placement on the list determined? It's not alphabetical, reverse-alphabetical, alphabetical-by-party-name. Do they pull names from a hat?
@mgfarrelly: Mr Wilson's four years as "political prisoner in the mental 'health' system" and the fact that his friends and family considered him nuts, forcing him to "go underground for the 1990s", combined with a Chris Hansen-worthy attraction to the young Melissa Gilbert should really resonate with undecided voters.
And according to his blog, he's the only candidate that cares about puppies:
"Earlier I made the very solemn promise that I will not kill all the puppies in the world. My intention was that other candidates for mayor would jump on the bandwagon. That has not happened. I don't know how you feel about the issue, or how the other men in this race feel, but I love puppies. They're friggin' adorable. Sometimes obnoxious, but not enough to kill every single one of them in the world. It disturbs me deeply to know that I am the only person running for mayor here in Minneapolis that has vowed not to kill all the puppies."
http://joeyformayor.com/blog/index.php?/archives/2-Apparently,-only-I-love-puppies..html
It's the real deal. Here's the backstory:
Now I wish I'd looked at the out-there candidates in my local mayoral race! We used to get a number of candidates from the Politicians Are Crooks party...I wonder what their platform was.
My partner couldn't stomach voting for Rybak so voted Kolstad, wrote in Bob Miller and then voted the "Is Awesome" guy for number 3.
In California, local races are all non-partisan, so we don't get the wacky political parties listed. But you can get a nickname on the ballot, so David "Zuma Dogg" Saltsburg got on the ballot on the last City of L.A. mayoral election. I signed one of his petitions to get on the ballot. He shows up to every council meeting, wears a shirt that says ZUMA DOGG across the chest in electrical tape, and generally speaks every time there's public comment.
@freshacconci: I believe each precinct has a different order of candidates, and while I could not find specifics, I believe it's all random. My ballot did not list the candidates in the same order as Maggie's.
Will someone please post the winner? Here in Atlanta, we are just looking at the first possible white mayor in 35+ years. Not interesting...
@Energynotsaved
Sorry, but in Minnesota we take ~6 months or so to decide elections.
Flwombat, repealing the age of consent laws might not be a bad idea, or at least lowering them. That means consensual sexual conduct, meaning everyone involved agrees to the act. Right now, it's 16. I'm tired of prosecuting 18 year olds who had consensual sex with a 15 year old sophomore. Those laws could use some revamping.
@Energynotsaved: It's Ryback. Lombard finished 6th of the 11. Wilson was dead last.
Age of consent laws can have bizarre consequences. 18-year-olds with month-younger girl/boyfriends are on sex-offender registries. Who does that serve?
In Toronto, a transgender former sex-worker (MTF) frequently runs for mayor, with her only consistent policy arguments for sex-work protection and decriminalisation. Although no one else can really top that, there are usually a few 'characters' involved.
Here in Hamilton, our perrenial mayoral candidate was a neo-rastafarian pro-pot guy who ran the "Church of the Universe" whose members briefly enjoyed a religious exemption for possession.
Mayoral races are where real politics, about policy and democracy, happen. Too bad, then, that noone interesting ever wins.