Bassam Tariq is a Boing Boing guestblogger who is the co-author of 30 Mosques. A blog that celebrated the NYC mosques during the Islamic month of Ramadan. He lives in Harlem, NY.
UPDATE: We just got word from the Eggers camp that they will be providing us signed copies of Zeitoun! Not sure how many we'll be given for the giveaway, but will tell you all as soon as we know. Also, there's a new deadline - tomorrow, Thursday at 7 AM PST. We'll announce winners this Friday! It'll be hard to top zombie haikus, but let's try!
Zeitoun is a critically acclaimed non-fiction book written by Dave Eggers. Boing Boing has made a post on the book before. I could go on for hours on how great this book is, but have decided instead to giveaway a couple of new copies I have in my apartment. The Boing Boing crowd is an intelligent one, but are they poets?
Write a Haiku in the comments section on why you deserve a copy of Zeitoun. Aman and I will look through them and choose the top ones. We'll package them nicely and mail them out asap.
I'll be the sacrificial lamb to help get this started -
Zeitoun is his name
Rowing a boat is his game
I like arab food.
Here's another example -
I am a bigot
Who reads Boing Boing everyday
I'm hoping to change
See? It's not that hard. I came up with these in the matter of seconds (and it shows). Let's have some fun!
UPDATE: We just got word from the Eggers camp that they will be providing us signed copies of Zeitoun! Not sure how many we'll be given for the giveaway, but will tell you all as soon as we know. Also, there's a new deadline - tomorrow, Thursday at 7 AM PST. We'll announce winners this Friday! It'll be hard to top zombie haikus, but let's try!
Zeitoun is a critically acclaimed non-fiction book written by Dave Eggers. Boing Boing has made a post on the book before. I could go on for hours on how great this book is, but have decided instead to giveaway a couple of new copies I have in my apartment. The Boing Boing crowd is an intelligent one, but are they poets?
Write a Haiku in the comments section on why you deserve a copy of Zeitoun. Aman and I will look through them and choose the top ones. We'll package them nicely and mail them out asap.
I'll be the sacrificial lamb to help get this started -
Zeitoun is his name
Rowing a boat is his game
I like arab food.
Here's another example -
I am a bigot
Who reads Boing Boing everyday
I'm hoping to change
See? It's not that hard. I came up with these in the matter of seconds (and it shows). Let's have some fun!
Something free for me?
Think outside the butthole please.
I know how to read.
I choose to spend time
remembering what went wrong
to prevent repeat.
A storm is brewing
We are all terrorists now
Stuck in wire cages
Faithfully I read
Boing Boing, in between books by
Dave Eggers, et al.
Eggers' book looks good.
But for haiku I'll stay here.
Zombie haiku rocks!
The lotus blossom
Tumbles from the highest branch
Send me a book please.
Muddy reflections
The familiar looks foreign
In dirty water
Row row row your boat
I'm sure this is a work of
staggering genius
This was not the world
My fiction promised to me
Where are my jetpacks?
Flooded New Orleans
I'd rather read about it
Than live it again
This man on the boat
Evocative of monsoons in my town
I want this real bad
Mission accomplished!
A heck of a job, Brownie...
What didn't go right?
575 R
books, our are writ gifted
milkweed fuzz in hand
haiku takes me back to middle school, and ms. whats her name, and ms. whats her names haiku...
one haiku you say?
in return, a book for free?
sign me up, Bassam.
Eggers saves people
Eggers is a terrorist
Eggers in a cage
Lunchbreaks are good times
for haikus to awake
and emerge on screen
Olive the rhymes left
Can't prevent my reading right
Because they're the pits
The future of print
lying in his two big hands
Eggers is the man
Hurting makes me laugh
Not really sometimes I gaffe
A free book for me?
Used to row to work
That's when I worked at Fox News
When I was a crab.
have not been able
to buy any eggers
broke college student
I created this one because everyone was constantly coming to the back door of my office, far away from my desk, and complaining that I was never in:
This is not our door
Our door is on the west side
Your knocks go unheard
The sun is a sin
On the sky-mouth's bleeding tongue
which speaks us in two
Lolcat in your boat
Katrina took my capnip
Can I haz book now?
In a large book club
Free book for me could result
In sale of dozens?
Damn, I just ordered
my copy from Powell's Books.
Nothing free for me.
Boat and water crest
coupled with their reflection
looks like vagina.
I write. Eggers helps.
He's pompous yes, but takes risks.
We learn by doing.
"An awesome writer,
Eggers is," says Yoda. "My
Children he can have."
"What Is The What" is
what Eggers asked the last time
Now it is just "Why?"
habeas corpus
what's that? i don't speak Arab
produce the book, the body
His precocity
I shall otherwise not know.
Splash! Nor the frog's, now.
I love Egger's books-
I've read them all, except one.
That lacuna hurts.
And the waters rose,
The slick veil now washed away,
But the band plays on.
There once was a man
Named Dave Eggers who - wait - what?
Oh ... you said "haiku"
with broken ankle
walk to library not fun
need new books to read
There is more to Hai-
ku than just writing seven-
teen syllables, guys.
Librarians need
so many good books to feed
please give me one free
Living in New York
My heart wanted to return
to save my NOLA
My canoe rock'd with
Giggles when I heard it: "Heck
Of a job, Brownie."
what if i happen
to bump into eggers in
park slope, unread? shame!
Zeitoun and Kathy
Stayed strong throughout Katrina
Now fight for a cause.
Living in New York
My heart wanted to return
to save my NOLA
3 lines at a time
my heart beats through this lens
you know that book is mine
Hi, I’m a hero
If I read Dave Egger’s book
It will be of use
starships and swordfish sing in the rain
reactive ants wend their way too
sometimes mean & forever
with lust
I
The pulpy smell of
McSweeney's books lures one to
their creativeness.
I used to work at
Dave Eggers' nonprofit. I
think I saw him once.
oops, i posted twice
it was that damn flash plug-in
crashing my browser!
1, 2, 3, 4, 5
I ain't much of a poet
at least I can count
Water is paddled
and with bail rises. The aid,
its weak and arrests.
Send me the book, man
Need it more
I live in Brazil
Hi, I’m a hero
If I read Dave Egger’s book
It will be of use
That book isn't mine
Yet, I know it longs to be,
In my library.
That's a 5/3/5
Did you see?
a true haiku, sir
According to the editorial review on Amazon, a guard accused Zeitoun of being a member of Al Qaeda.
I need to read this
to know why Al Qaeda would
strike in a canoe
I'm not a bigot!
Well, maybe I am, but then...
Maybe we all are
Metaphysical
Existentiality
Can I have a book?
What is this you say?
I thought Zeitoun was just food
Now it is a book?
Many people think
Eggers is underrated,
But that is changing
Siting on the Pot
My job to make something float
Like the covers boat.
(I take my hats off to #51!)
Zeitoun I will read
Like a butterfly in need
Of sweet spring honey
I have juggled knives
while riding atop a yeti.
That's worth a book, no?
On the first fall day,
My paper reviewed Zeitoun –
the praise fell like leaves.
Home sweet home no more
Mother nature prison guard
Weary hungry void
There once was a writer named Eggers.
Who met a verbose group of beggars.
In exchange for His book,
To Haiku they took,
In turn they received their free ledgers.
Crap! I think I did it wrong...
-Suds-
Unemployed Man
Infinite Jest too verbose
Dave Eggers owes me
Water everywhere,
But nary a drop to drink.
Zeitoun navigates.
Dave Eggers, you say?
Went to the Pirate Store once.
Best. Pirate. Store. Ever.*
* With apologies to David Byrne.
A kind, courageous
man, Abdulrahman Zeitoun.
And where is he now?
I will not waffle:
Zeitoun defrosted my heart.
Leggo My Eggers!
tuesday: i found my
velocity just after
breakfast. now, my keys.
internal ramble.
makes me feel better that i'm
not the only one.
Eggers has surpassed
his youthful precociousness:
congrats, a great book!
They all felt the rain.
It rose back to the heavens.
Some folks swim there still.
winter coming soon
I have fire, coffee, wool socks
now I need a book
Thanks for the opportunity, BoingBoing is full of win.
Heartbreaking genius
with a staggering workload:
that's me. Give me book.
Where they used to say
laissez les bons temps rouler?
On your knees, n*****.
Die, you fucking pigs:
drown quick, drown slow, I don't care.
Yours truly, George Bush.
The ubiquitous
waters flood. Citizens drown:
sad, iniquitous.
Global warming's first
ruined city. A great book:
cold consolation?
I have been reading
Too many Doctor Who books
I crave quality
Afloat in syllables
Zeitoun's woes come ashore
Good job, Eggers!
One man's despair
After the hurricane left
A nation grieves
Sci-fi has come true.
We're living in the future
now: dystopian.
Zeitoun
-------
Camp Greyhound woes
After saving lives by boat
Good unfortunate man!
Worse than all of your
postapocalyptic dreams:
that's how bad we're fucked.
I enter contests
on numerous other sites.
But Boing Boing has taste.
alt:
A set of haiku?
Probably lots of white space.
Each post speaks silence.
Mississippi home
Rising river claws its levees
Must learn to paddle
A Dave Eggers book!
And it has a short title?
Crazypants. I want one.
It's early morning,
I'm feeling kinda hungry,
Serve me some eggers.
keep'em coming! this is great.
I can't find Zeitoun
at B and N in Park Slope.
Didn't try too hard.
Hated McSweeneys,
but adored What is the What?
Resolve this Boing Boing.
you, me, dave eggers:
simple wandr'in bumpkins still
paddling north-word
Oh, Eggers. You saint.
First a sacrificial lamb,
Now you serve up truth.
Autumn is soon here
Time for poetry and change
If I am lucky
I live abroad.
If you don't chose me,
It's discrimination.
Katrina revealed
fragility of normal
we will all soon know.
The world is cruel
against the most innocent
I cry
Thread brims with
sheer awesomeness of
your haikus!
Society floats
in such a fragile canoe.
Storm clouds gathering.
Floods of words pour forth,
unflagging logorrhea:
not water, thank God.
Spent the night before
Katrina remembering.
No forgetting now.
Hit Wikipedia
to brush up on the rules of
composing haiku! D'oh.
I love McSweeny's,
But think Eggers is a puff.
Prove me wrong, Boing Boing.
It's raining haikus,
hope that BB's levees hold:
poetic deluge.
As the rain drops splat
we raise our eyes in alarm.
What will happen next?
Katrina was bad
Racial profiling is worse
Natural disaster
Storm water rising
Abdulrahman Zeitoun, help!
Crap, bureaucracy
Floods down your alley.
Three days, got water? what else?
A good read for me.
Number six needs work
The lotus is aquatic
Hence no tumbling, right? ;)
I can afford it.
Do not give me a free book.
I am not worthy.
You Have Lots Of Books
Why Don't You Give One To Me
I'll Love You Long Time
@Pacobell
Corrective haiku:
most wonderful to see, plus
nice botanic catch!
Wolf Blitzer observes:
"So hungry, so poor, so black."
What did he just say?!
Once upon a time
Chocolate city flood
I want to know why
Hard rains gonna fall
Let me hope to have the book
To give me shelter
The flood changed the rules
We took for granted back then
Washed away our pride
Brown man helping white?
He must be a terrorist.
(Or he had a boat)
"Underprivileged
anyway, so this–this is
working very well."
I am really nice
Or at least so says my wife
I deserve a book
Beggars for Eggers
Did Twain have such marketing?
Nor Hemingway; no
Water floods the page
Your fair eyes save drowning thoughts
Letters float in white
In a boat rowing
He saved a lot of people
He was arrested
"Brownie, you're doing
a heck of a job," George Bush
said. Meanwhile, we drowned.
Kanye West was wrong.
George Bush hates brown people too.
Well, ANY non-whites.
books, ideas, life-
are no good if held too tight
spring growth yields seeds
I just saw this book
but was stuck on a sex and
the city tour. BLAH
In a quest for truth,
learning the true story of
our nation today.
reading more eggers
would educate me more than
my life now without
he who helps fellows
is powerful, dangerous
give and you get back
The waters rise, the
cities drown: the dead afloat.
Homeland insecure.
Hiding from the news
out from ignorance, the wind
blows a book my way
Bush: Miserable
Failure. Katrina AND 9/
11? I shake my head.
This haiku is a
heartbreaking work of stagger-
ing genius. Wins!
red-eyed wading through
unanswered rages, and still
four years later: drowned
Who dat say she dead?
My sweet N'awlins bouncin' back!
But we ne'er forget.
My grandpa just passed
He left me an old canoe
Teach me to paddle
Prep the Superdome,
It's time for swine flu season.
Here we go again.
I ache for new reads
My girl does ‘not love Eggers’
I am contrary
voracious reader
in search of new horizons
embraces the new
I am not a poet.
I guess I'll just buy the book.
And not bother entering this haiku-writing contest.
One, Two, Three, Four, Five
One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six... oops
One, Two, Three Four, Five
Winners determined
By invisible duo
Judges' decision's final
Love to read good books
Let Boing Boing recommend one
Up too late reading
"Bacon and Eggers"
A guide to canoeing and
pork, apparently.
a conspiracy?
Doesn't matter any more
don't do it again
Guy in the canoe
isn't steam punk enough for
Cory Doctorow
Stuck in Chinese jail.
No canoe novel in sight.
Portage my heart, yo.
Away we go as
I am an Eggers slut so
Dave, what is the what?
Ths mst b th frst
dsmvwlld hk tht
hs bn n bngbng
My solemn promise:
If I win a lovely book,
I will give you half
zeitoun, a hero
illuminating the past
helping the present
Marzipan canoe
will be made for you, my friend
if I win a book
Some books rot on shelves,
but were made for many reads.
We practice sharing
no good at writing
but excellent at reading
(insert last line here)
what is a haiku?
can't i just have a book please?
i mean... WTF!
I spend all my cash
On diapers, food and clothing
I could use a book
I ♥ W
And get all my news through Fox.
Care to convert me?
One summer, Hell came.
Hurricane counciousness reigns,
dead humanity.
when you're hot you're hot --
when you're not you're not --
but not hot and not not hot
is a bit of a stretch
levees broke but there was
no break in the man no break
he canoed can you?
I just student teach
(I don't have a salary),
So I'd love free books!
I am from Scotland
Where the hell is New Orleans
Who is Dave Eggers
the books on my shelves
breed like hangers in closets
but never enough
No rights for victims
FEMA director eats steak
They treat us like dogs
I hope you'll read this
another shitty haiku
one more drop in sea
It is late tonight
This head throbs with discomfort
Book please be my friend
the water is rising
must go back for my books
glub glub glub glub glub
paddle through surface
reflections break, ripple light
alone on water
millions of faces
petals on a wet black bough
yes i plagiarized
read this book aloud
on every street corner
the truth must be told
on Lake Pontchartrain
the people live hand to mouth
in silent poverty
haikus don't make sense
unless you read them backward
the hat walks--silence
let me have this book
and i'll mail it to G-Dub
when I'm done with it
lonely PhD
swamped with Sartre and Camus
needs escape canoe
i don't need the book
still have a rotary phone
i need an iphone
I'm on a mountain
deep in the Atacama
please, send a new book
i teach high school kids
need i say more?
In New Orleans, they
needed so much, and still do.
Send a book there, please.
Deep in David's Mind
Bizarre creatures luminesce
Around his ego
How ironic, the
Succinct form of the haiku
and then... Eggers' prose
Despite these insults
I have decided that I
really want that book
I'm wasting my time
I know these don't have to rhyme
But I want this book.
Staggering was sad,
Velocity: crazy fun.
Zeitoun will be fresh.
fond of the Boing Boing,
lover of non-fiction, and
greedy smarty pants
Bigotry, for shame
Judaism, my culture
Not my religion
When you smoke so much
My lungs they hurt more and more
The price of friendship.
Raised in Bible Belt,
And just moved to New Orleans.
Want understanding.
Since I do not know
Any reason I should win
I doubt that I will
Books are expensive
Sometimes, books cost a hiku
i can haz now plz?
Roofs now riverbanks
Kingbirds call from floating trees
News chopper hovers
Cannot leave the house
H1N1 threatening
Bookstore out of reach
If Zen is nothing
How Can You Charge For this book
We should all have it
god damn it i didnt know i wazs posting anon.. that last one is mine
If you think you can
Write better haiku than me
You are mistaken
BoingBoing is chock full
of Creative Commons news.
Send me a book, please.
I prepare to write
a nice haiku book review,
but I have no book.
the roof is on fire
cops dont need no water no
let the M F burn
a heart-breaking work
of staggering genius is
my favorite book
Old city, old growth
Deep waters pour down the streets
Revealing foul roots
No, better:
Old city, old growth
Deep waters pour down the streets
Tearing roots away
Homophony makes
"Zeitoun" a greek comic.
Plato would be proud.
I deserve the book.
I'm a Nigerian prince
living in London.
Just spent sixteen months
Rebuilding, still there in heart
And mind, but broke now.
Derelict and poor,
Living on freebie pizza,
I don't shun handouts.
ORPHANS SINKING. STOP.
BOOK-SIZE HOLE IN CANOE. STOP.
GOOD HEALTHCARE, THOUGH. STOP.
Read Heartbreaking Work
And saw in the heavy book
Somebody I knew
I knew a Zeitoun
He was French Cute and Lovely
I should read this book
No money to fix
Bad engineering design
Fodder for Eggers
EK from ABQ
I don't want your book.
Who the heck is Dave Eggers?
Send money instead.
The road takes a bath,
inconsiderate primates,
and you all complain.
your mouth is moving,
up and down, emitting noise....
I've lost interest.
I'm from the U.S.
But I forgot my English
Maybe this will help?
No jazz music but
Lots of good water skiing.
That what it's about?
EK from ABQ
Levees are broken
Foundations washed away
A book preserves
A Zeitoun for free...
A Zeitgeist developing?
One can always hope.
EK from ABQ
Bet bucks to beignets
Those armed squads would not have known
'Camelback' means 'house.'
if time loops through time
consecrate the dearly dead
the surf left behind
I feel like asking
Negates one's entitlement.
It's a paradox.
The goat up my ass
I do not know why it's there
It hurts very much
Writing Your Haiku,
I'm gonna let you finish.
LoLcats are watching.
Sat on the highway
Saw a dead man down the road
Just wanted out, bad.
This was the event
that woke me up. In despair
I watched from the roof.
I like Dave Eggers
Cute girls see this on my shelf
Everybody wins
The man in the mosque.
The woman breaking her fast.
I am just like them.
We abandon those
thought "not US" - be they from the
9th Ward or Muslim.
The sand-coloured page
Sees my young, curious pupils
Maybe I'm a book
As I write these words
The smell of jasmine arrives
An olfactory omen
One little poem
an entire book in exchange
sounds like a good deal
Living in Asia.
Valid in US only
haiku contests suck.
it rains on a boat
there is a man with no hands
one umbrella
Flooding waters rise
While my fingers turn pages.
Damn, I want that book.
words flow as water
pooled in books we share and drink
thirst never quenched
to enter contest
been too long-boingboing had to
reset my password
A lifeboat hero
Terrorized by Bush Admin
Zeitoun in Zeittown
I don't know this book
But I'm broke and in grad school
Help me to look smart
wrathful morning hex
molten city spleen heaves up
rapt disavowal
What's this book about.
Will I bother to read it?
Only if it's free.
Amazon click-through
Leaves surfer unenlightened
Book's no use unread
we all deserve it
no one deserves anything
let me sleep now, please
What if all books were
earned for reading by challenge
how many would languish
who is this eggers?
please, can you ship it to me?
i live in china.
Dave won't give up print
I love Eggers for this and
Other things called words
i must block google
to post haiku. like i said,
i live in china.
New Dan Brown novel,
"Templar Summer Canoe Trip"
all time best seller
Eggers is not funny.
Maybe nonfiction different?
I could laugh at him.
Boing Boing, free Zeitoun
and Bassam Tariq - fantastic,
but missing zombies.
Dave Eggers is like
David Foster Wallace but
for the dumb people
You there, and you, too.
Can you not read instructions?
That's a Senryū.
(Mine too.)
to float is to be
leaves in the reflected clouds
of rising water
almost all haiku
are about water, trees, sky
this one cannot be
Fourteen dollars saved
I will donate to Oxfam
Benefiting all.
http://www.oxfam.org/en/about
Looking for bigots
Spring's flowers were forever lost
Changing minds never
We may craft haikus,
Bring beauty to Boing Boing. But--
We have crap on Eggers.
My therapist said
This book would be good for me
But I am flat broke
Sir David Eggers
author of five decent books
and one masterpiece
the wind of McSweeny's
You've bought for your fans
a gift for me, no?
I struggle at this
count syllables on my hand
workshop accident.
Egyt New Orleans
Mother Mary came to us
Where the wild things are
Good literature
Should not just be limited
To the poetic
Good literature
Should not just be limited
To the poetic
Make that Egypt
please give me a book
a starving college kid that
cant count real well
My feet are soaked but
cuffs are bone dry. Ev'rything's
coming up Milhouse!
A story that floats
On the tears of a nation -
Buoyant and truthful.
Pixels pour in eyes
Today in dust my brother fights
I stare and wait, alive.
But does anyone
Really, truly deserve a
Book? Hell yes, I do.
The paddle dips low
Nation's promise defiled
A book I must read
Would read Egger's book
but cannot seem to finish
damn Infinite Jest
sex is my weapon
i'll sheath it for this battle
to save my keyboard
'the what is the what'
oh, the heartbreak! the tears!
sign me up for more!
Dave and I both write
after losing a city
Our words' aim - "Zeitoun"
I am so dirt poor
Don't own a library card
please support the broke
Bassam has gotten
way more comments on Boing Boing
than anyone else
Zeiton means olive.
It's also Zaynab's bird's name.
Zaynab is my girl.
i believe eggers deserves many more
syllables than seventeen; he'll get twice that 'cause i've seen
his stapler drawings. genius.
just waded to work
in scummy thigh-deep water
A green frog swam by.
Where the Wild Things Are?
Turns out, Louisiana
Zeitoun equals Max
the blight of flood or
the blight of unemployment.
help me to decide.
The water rises
The shotgun warm in my hand
Flood zombie heads 'plop'
The H.M.N.A.
Humbly requests a copy
Really? He needs one
American Dream
Anti-American Dream
Annihilation
Chain link fences bloon
As putrid water rises
The autumn mace blows
as drops fill buckets
so do refugees return
to damaged homelands
I want to read it
Send it to my home address
If not, library
A poor student, me,
just wants to read a free book
about a deluge.