Zombie haiku contest -- best entry wins the game of Plants vs. Zombies

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Plants vs. Zombies continues to fascinate three out of the four members of our household. To share the love, I'm giving away this Plants vs. Zombies gift card. I won't send you the actual card, though. Instead I'll send you another photo of this card without the dry roasted edamame beans that cover up the code you need to enter to unlock the game for unlimited play.

How do you win? By writing the best zombie-themed haiku in the comments. Deadline is 2am Pacific Time.

You can download a one-hour trial of the game here.


Discussion

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shotgun will save us
shit, more zombies than bullets
where's that machete

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I shamble through life.
Stairs, fire, chainsaws and boomsticks.
All I want is braaaaaains.

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#3 posted by Ghede, May 26, 2009 4:19 PM

rrrr arrrr rrrrr braaaaains rrrr
Graaaaaah unnnnng arrr braaaains rrrrr
Snow falling on leaves

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In my quest for brains,
One thing standing in my way:
Damn you chlorophyll!

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#5 posted by Ghede, May 26, 2009 4:20 PM

oh, my bad, I forgot 7 syllables second.

rrrr arrrr rrrrr braaaaains rrrr
Graaaaaah unnnnng arrr braaaains rrrrr urrrrg braains
Snow falling on leaves

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Succulent pink brains
They hungrily masticate
While their flesh decays

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flesh falling from bone
stiff legs carry lifeless meat
cries for brains... brains... brains...

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Blood-soaked I may be
but sometimes I need some nom
Brains, medium-well.

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Mmmm! Edamame!
Dry roasted delicious beans!
Wait, what did you want?

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a lone flower sprouts
firing seeds toward undead
shambling closer still

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I died once, came back.
Found that Hell is not fire,
But life without end.

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#12 posted by eosha, May 26, 2009 4:28 PM

I need me some brains
Clearly you're not using yours
Can I borrow it?

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You bit my finger
If that wasn't bad enough
I'm getting hungry

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He died and came back
Asking you to eat his flesh
Christ was a zombie

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Gray rain falling down
Neighbors becoming Zombies
in cold October

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You never wanted
Your zombie to try this art
Undead poetic

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My commute is long
Guy next to me playing Cher
I will eat his head

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cornflakes cornflakes corn
flakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes
cornflakes zombies brains?

Young Ones FTW! Wut?

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Hi, Honey. Lost my
key. Leave yours under the mat?
Signed, Not The Zombies

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#20 posted by Oxling, May 26, 2009 4:35 PM

Called in sick today,
postman bit me this morning.
Still want to do lunch?

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#21 posted by nosehat, May 26, 2009 4:36 PM

Zombie poetry
Different from yours or mine:
Dead flesh lumps? Haiku!

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find mor brainz to eat
eat brainz yummy nom nom nom
I got you... mmm brainz

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#23 posted by Anonymous, May 26, 2009 4:39 PM

Wallnuts will protect
Puff shrooms do not need sunlight
I am Crazy Dave!

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Unlike the zombies
Haiku don't move in straight lines
Non sequitur- braaaaains!

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#25 posted by nosehat, May 26, 2009 4:40 PM

"Zombie no go' go,
Unless you tell 'am to go."
Fela knows zombies.

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there was a young zombie from fleet,
who consisted of pus-drooling meat.
his true love dropped by,
and accidently smashed open her skull in a terrible farming machinery accident,
but at least he had something to eat.

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Zombies coming near
find no possible escape
this is my boomstick

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bitten by human,
turning into a zombie,
he'll contract kuru!

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Now I decompose,
but once I was a great man.
Damn you John Wilkes Booth.

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#30 posted by Anonymous, May 26, 2009 4:47 PM

Necrotic flesh walks
Science cannot explain well
How the dead move on


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the plant waits
a zombie attacks
plant withers

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My 9 year old nephew and I love to play this game. He wrote this one. Pretty clever, and I'm not just being the proud uncle here.

Wallnuts will protect
Puff shrooms do not need sunlight
I am Crazy Dave!

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#33 posted by slida, May 26, 2009 4:50 PM

Brains are like candy,
sweet grey matter slips through lips,
My arm just fell off.

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easy prey runs up stairs
fear warms blood to perfect heat
fake tan tastes like shit

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#35 posted by Anonymous, May 26, 2009 4:50 PM

Lily sees Jasmin
First undead of the season
Seed of a new time

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#36 posted by mox, May 26, 2009 4:51 PM

Forgot to brush teeth
The rot always starts out small
Boy becomes Zombie.

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#37 posted by Clemoh, May 26, 2009 4:51 PM

brains brains brains brains brains
brains brains brains brains brains brains brains
brains brains brains brains brains

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At dawn, stumbling
in a forsaken world, dazed.
Night descends on hope.

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Community leader.
Babysat all of your kids.
But bite just one guy...

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#40 posted by Nephie, May 26, 2009 4:52 PM

Zombie travels toward me
place plants to get to battle
pew, pew zombie's dead

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#41 posted by Peaklet, May 26, 2009 4:53 PM

Filth, fire, and femurs!
Socket-pop zombie-copters!
Ficus saves the day.

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#42 posted by Nephie, May 26, 2009 4:53 PM

Zombie travels toward me
place plants to get to battle
pew, pew zombie's dead

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The CDC said
Not to panic 'bout Swine Flu
But now I'm undead

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I believe it was
Sartre: "L'enfer, c'est les autres"
...Zombies worse than autres.

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#45 posted by Tron, May 26, 2009 4:56 PM

Yon brain smells tasty
Why are plants so damn angry?
Bye bye plant, mmmm brains.

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silent leaves falling
feet of the undead shuffle
winter of this world

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friend dies of swine flue
pound pound on front door who's there?
door opens to find death

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you can rest easy
if you should happen to turn
I'll bash your brains in

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Cherry blossoms burst,
Flavored fire flowering,
Pruning zombie growth.

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Lets go eat some brains
avoid the plants there, avoid!
too late, now you're mulch.

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Through the night I roam
Screams penetrating my mind
Craving more sweet brains

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Succulent sweet flesh
Falling like cherry blossoms
Peapods are assholes

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bless garden saviors
if you really want to live
don't eat your veggies

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Should I shoot you, Mom?
Or should I just run away?
Back off! Let go! Boom!

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#55 posted by eain, May 26, 2009 5:01 PM

What weapon to use?
Bullets, blades, automobile?
Crowbar always wins.

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#56 posted by alect0, May 26, 2009 5:01 PM

This hunger inside
I'm in painful necrosis
I ate my children

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#57 posted by Church, May 26, 2009 5:02 PM

I nibbled on her ear,
She laughed; but not anymore.
Still one ear to go.

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first thing that came to mind:

Trying to stay thin.
Is cerebellum part of
the Atkins diet?

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Plants defend your house.
Evil Zombies eat your BRAINZ!!!!
don't let them get you!!!!!!!!!

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surrounded by dead
its a trick, quick get an axe
if only i had.

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Neurotransmitters
Slake my cravings better than
Photosynthesis

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#62 posted by eain, May 26, 2009 5:05 PM

Corpus callosum
Much soft than cerebellum
I prefer chewy

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zombie version:

hi there meat friend lunch
you look not so healthy,
eat your veggies please

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#64 posted by Anonymous, May 26, 2009 5:05 PM

what is the sound of
one zombie devouring?
BRAA-A-A-a-AINS

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#65 posted by eain, May 26, 2009 5:06 PM

Stop biting me, Dave!
I do not want to shoot you!
Now, stay on the leash!

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(let's try that without the brackets)

zombie version:

hi there meat friend lunch
you look not so healthy, ---brains---
eat your veggies please

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#67 posted by eain, May 26, 2009 5:07 PM

Run, run! Slow zombies
cannot possibly catch us
on our bicycles!

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#68 posted by smiles, May 26, 2009 5:08 PM

Oh, Romero, Oh
You are the original!
Have you tasted brains?

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Silence, ere they come
Crunching, gnawing through the town
Their horde I'll not join

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#70 posted by eain, May 26, 2009 5:08 PM

Harder to find food,
But up here in the arctic,
Zombies stay frozen.

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#71 posted by SamSam, May 26, 2009 5:08 PM

Spring's warm touch births fruit,
All Winter Man's last hope slept,
Today zombies die.

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Zombie slowly starves
Only finds co-ed to eat
It's a no-brainer

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#73 posted by domeier, May 26, 2009 5:08 PM

discontent, winter
cold, ice, palace of crystal
now I eat your face

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Yes, I smashed their heads
Without knowing, Judge, they were
Only Limbaugh fans

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#75 posted by Yams, May 26, 2009 5:09 PM

Tasty tasty brains
Keep away the pain of death
Won't you help me out?

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The radio told
me that I would be safe here
Crowded Stadium

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#77 posted by Anonymous, May 26, 2009 5:11 PM

Dead begin walking
Humanity gives its all
Now everyone walks

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that quiz was f'ing stupid. how many times have i farted today? 5,6,7,8 or 9. see what i'm saying. unfair!!!

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Brains are delicious,
However, I must warn you,
Shotgun blasts are not...

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Roots disturb my grave
Everyone sides with the plants
Dead get no respect

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damn, wrong site, i'll be back with that haiku

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#82 posted by Anonymous, May 26, 2009 5:13 PM

Soft Supple Green Leaves
turn their jaded faces
to the sun to--BRAINS!!

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Though dead, it lives on.
Zombie? Brain-eating corpse? No:
General Motors.

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Dear Lizzy Bennet,
There are zombies everywhere!
I need you here now.

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Plants to the defense
This will only end one way,
Zombies as compost!

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Slowly shuffling
with dragging feet, mouth agape
cherry blossoms fall

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#87 posted by oldtaku, May 26, 2009 5:15 PM

There is a zombie
On the lawn. We do not like
zombies on the lawn.


Okay, so no creativity, I already own this awesome game. I just like that that's a haiku.

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Guided by the smell
A desire I can't fulfill
My dark need for brains

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#89 posted by ditto, May 26, 2009 5:16 PM

zombies are cute
but not as werewolves
refrigerator

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This has long been what i think i would say if i was an actual zombie, now in haiku form...enjoy!

we zombies eat brains
ive never really liked the taste
rather eat cookies

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Zombies must eat brains
Plants need compost to survive
Who is the bad guy?

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Monsanto insists
New RoundUp-Ready(R) Zombies
Are perfectly safe

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#93 posted by Anonymous, May 26, 2009 5:18 PM

Killing a zombie,
makes recursive zombie squared.
Best to let 'em live.

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Budget for plastic
guns, pasta guts, Wilhelm scream,
is budget enough.

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#95 posted by Jehrot, May 26, 2009 5:21 PM

It’s a splendid day
I should feel warmth toward man
If my brains were safe

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This is Hell's nature:
All I can eat brains but can't
open Tabasco.

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#97 posted by bbenz62, May 26, 2009 5:23 PM

Shopping mall Muzak
the drooling dead go hungry
no brains for you here

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#98 posted by Yaanu, May 26, 2009 5:23 PM

Plants versus Zombies:
A game by PopCap. That's right.

ANOTHER ONE. (Oi.)

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Atheist zombies
Eat your brains and don't think twice.
They won't go to hell.

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#100 posted by xwizbt, May 26, 2009 5:24 PM

brains are tradition
if romero is correct
but i prefer sun

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#101 posted by artbot, May 26, 2009 5:24 PM

Beautiful zombies
Horrible horticulture
Zombies win again

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#102 posted by eain, May 26, 2009 5:24 PM

They come down the hills...
Plodding, slowly advancing...
Now aim for the head!

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Yardwork is brutal.
But ay, my neighbors--they’re worse.
I have to keep up.

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Remaining survivors:
Sorry we must nuke your town.
Only way to be sure!

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#105 posted by piergud, May 26, 2009 5:26 PM

Most zombies cry BRAINSSS!
They limp in camaraderie,
Faintly, I cry lungs...

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(I wrote this a while back)

crunching through his brain
I realized I no longer cared
whether he loved me

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Ancient pond. Zombie
frog jumps in. Plop! Ar num num
num. Brains! Brains! Ribbit.

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#108 posted by eain, May 26, 2009 5:28 PM

Once, I loved you, Dad.
Sadly, all I want to do
is eat your brains now

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#109 posted by nosehat, May 26, 2009 5:29 PM

Shotgun? Chainsaw? Spade?
Hunker down or run away?
Zombies make you think!

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#110 posted by ktarayao, May 26, 2009 5:29 PM

been working all day
amble undead from my desk
why do i crave brains?

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Zombie: one who zombs.
I zomb, you zomb, he/she zombs.
Zomb (verb): to munch brains.

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#112 posted by Anonymous, May 26, 2009 5:30 PM

fatty brains are good
meaty brains are better but
boingboing brains are best

mmmmmmmmmwonderfulllllbrainnnnnnnnns

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Defend, Little Sprout
Zombies Come in Endless Waves
Make Stand, Level Up

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I can't feel my legs
The evil of the Thriller:
I can't stop dancing!

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#115 posted by Ken_N, May 26, 2009 5:34 PM

Shuffling slowly,
Living dead with empty eyes,
Hungry for more brains.

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#116 posted by tommyrot, May 26, 2009 5:35 PM

Braaaainnns! Braaaainnns! Braaaain--Oh, hi!
You ask, Why this way of life?
It's recession-proof!

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What is the sound of
One zombie devouring?
BRAA-A-A-A-AINS

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#118 posted by Anonymous, May 26, 2009 5:36 PM

Decaying loudly
Decomposing violently
Ouchie peashooters

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No escape for me
Blades do not need reloading
One swift swing ends it

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the first snowflake falls
autumn gives way to winter
no one left alive

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#121 posted by nosehat, May 26, 2009 5:37 PM

PCP zombie:
Father eats his own kid's eyes!
"Where's the unicorn!!!???"

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die die die die die
motherfucking zombie scum
plants are cool *and* green

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#123 posted by shMerker, May 26, 2009 5:40 PM

I am a zombie,
but I am also vegan;
I hunger for graaaains.

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Get off me, zombies,
Don’t bite, stop that! I’m dizzy…
Wait- can I come too?

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Zombies are our friends
They wouldn't lie to me, right?
Damn those undead fiends!

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Subway directions
Zombie elocution fail
I thought they said "trains"

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#127 posted by wastrel, May 26, 2009 5:43 PM

Plants and/or zombies are implied:

Gentle night breezes
Cool the tear tracks on my cheek
No Linux version

Sortof works in wine:
http://www.boingboing.net/2009/05/12/plants-vs-zombies.html#comment-490358b

Fun contest Mark!

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Subway directions
Zombie elocution fail
I thought they said "trains"

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#129 posted by Anonymous, May 26, 2009 5:44 PM

Once I G O P
Still hate Greens eat juicy brains
party is over

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#130 posted by Ken_N, May 26, 2009 5:45 PM

Submission #2:

Chainsaw and boomstick,
I just said, "Up yours", baby.
Uh-oh, where's my hand?

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#131 posted by gstott, May 26, 2009 5:45 PM

Please pull my finger
it is now a souvenir
its yours for keeping

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#132 posted by Daemon, May 26, 2009 5:45 PM

向日葵の
歌はかわいい
ゾンビは踊る

pronunciation:
himawari no
uta wa kawaii
zonbi wa odoru

english:
the sunflower's
song is cute
zombies dance

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We really not bad
We are just misunderstood
We were once like you

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#134 posted by jfarnold, May 26, 2009 5:46 PM

Zombie v. plant
Green desires foetid
charnel

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Huck frisbee LPs
Cricketbat works in a pinch
Pub is Alamo

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Not going to survive
Do zombies take prisoners?
I highly doubt it

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Oops. Double enpostdre.

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#138 posted by yvetteu, May 26, 2009 5:49 PM

A hand pushes through
dirt covering a fresh grave
Time to eat some brains

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#139 posted by Church, May 26, 2009 5:49 PM

George A. Romero
Would be spinning in his grave
Were he not undead.

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#140 posted by Anonymous, May 26, 2009 5:50 PM

The brains are lovely
Grey and pink but I have prom...
Hmmm, Robert Frost nom

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Snick, snack, squish, hack, thud,
arms and legs crawl after me,
Always take the head.

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#142 posted by Tom Hale, May 26, 2009 5:53 PM

Our horde falls en masse
Campbell yells "Hail to the King!"
Our failed quest for brains

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My own Nazareth
Wait for the zombies to fall
In leafy green shade

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i like to eat brains
they taste like fancy chicken
and i feel special

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#145 posted by Milgwyn, May 26, 2009 5:56 PM

Could'st I, I would,
Your succulent brain om nom,
But alas... No teeth. :'(

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Zombies, lose weight fast!
The secret is small portions
"Hollywood Diet"

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Can nothing oppose
Cheney's eldritch pacemaker?
Truth, sunshine, and plants

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My arm just fell off
Maggots fall like rain from the
Hole where it once waved

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Hello, may I come in?
I promise not to kill you.
*CHOMP* Sorry, I lied.

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Erstwhile thespian,
Alas, swapped love of drama for
CEREBELLAR BLISS!

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Necromancer daddy
never gave enough kindness!
Now you are his snack.

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#152 posted by Wiggums, May 26, 2009 6:03 PM

I look to the brains
The hunger builds within me
I want to eat brains

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#153 posted by Anonymous, May 26, 2009 6:03 PM

Hold me tighter, love
I only have eyes for you
here, take them with you

Posted by Chris Twitery Loft @christwitery

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Found some survivors
Tasty co-eds in the dark
Blonde brains taste like air

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Venus fly trap dawn
Spring ghouls begin the end of
Photosynthesis.

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#156 posted by bigdave, May 26, 2009 6:07 PM

The brains are lovely
Grey and pink but I have prom...
Hmmm, Robert Frost nom

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Fallen leaves on pond
Falling flesh shambles toward me
*crunch*--hello, unlife.

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Undead, yet hungry,
I seek only sweetbreads now.
Yet, how soft the leaf....

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#159 posted by Anonymous, May 26, 2009 6:11 PM

Trudge relentlessly forth
Your flesh I seek in hunger
join me soon you will

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I died, breath rasping
My husband mourned my demise
Until I ate him

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Shuf'ling, his approach.
He was once my math teacher.
Go for the head shot.

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#162 posted by Nibi, May 26, 2009 6:14 PM

Vile, wretched, oozing
entities, forced upon me
I hate brussells sprouts.

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Pull up the ladder
Demolish the fire escape
Pigeons and snow melt

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#164 posted by Tom Hale, May 26, 2009 6:14 PM

Quickly! quietly
The undead search through the night
Child, they want our brains

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Ripened Nuts hide traps.
Even zombies with hurdles
meet oblivion

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#166 posted by Anonymous, May 26, 2009 6:16 PM

Zombies ate my brains,
and I've become one of them.
Who are you to judge?

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lifeless living corpse
glutton of our flowing blood
headless sleep will come

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Haiku was not bad,
but anonymous can't win.
Next time I'll log in.

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#169 posted by vekuum, May 26, 2009 6:21 PM

All I want is to
Settle down, but rotting flesh
Is inconducive.

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What a strange twist of fate. I actually posted a Zombie Haiku last night on twitter. Follow me: HeartThrob007. But I digress, here it is.

The stench of dead flesh,
Endlessly searching for brains,
A grave moan is heard.

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What is your name, girl?
And tell me, who's your daddy?
Is he rich like me?

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moonrise... a gray face
on my horizon. horrors!
if only i could---.

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sightless stare sees stars
algae streamers swirl slowly
swims sargasso sea

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#174 posted by Anonymous, May 26, 2009 6:28 PM

There was an "I" once
Now, we: a horde bringing death
We loved life, once

(For fun. The game would kill my haiku composing free time.)

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#175 posted by vekuum, May 26, 2009 6:28 PM

Postmortem snacking
Is nice, but I miss fare not
So loud and squishy.

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#176 posted by tanner, May 26, 2009 6:29 PM

AGHH UHH RAAHH BRAA ARGGH
BRRR AAAIIIIII AINNN SSS RRRR GRRR GGLL
UGHH RAAHH RRRR AGHH AA

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Leaves become snowflakes
Winter's chill brings brief respite
Spring thaw comes too soon

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#178 posted by mojojojo, May 26, 2009 6:32 PM

Splash! the summer pool
Swirls 'round undead zombie feet
Sp'dow! no brains for you!

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#179 posted by Tom Hale, May 26, 2009 6:32 PM

Waking in your ditch
Your head was almost empty
Food, people, your meal

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#180 posted by munktae, May 26, 2009 6:32 PM

Blood soaked lotus
Witnessing reanimation
A zombie apocalypse

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#181 posted by el_cad, May 26, 2009 6:34 PM

Brains are so yummy
I want to eat your brains now
Brains taste so very good

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The rose thorn draws blood
but not from the living dead
from whom pale pus flows.


(previously submitted via Twitter to Plants vs Zombies)

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#183 posted by vekuum, May 26, 2009 6:34 PM

You lopped off my arms!
Thanks, now I can squeeze through your
Windows at night. Yum!

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#184 posted by nosehat, May 26, 2009 6:35 PM

This thread gives much joy!
I do not envy the one
To choose single best.

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The vicious hogweed
snares the animated corpse;
they struggle blindly.


(previously posted via Twitter to Plants vs Zombies)

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#186 posted by brianRa, May 26, 2009 6:36 PM

A New Challenger beat me to it, but anyway...

Her voice was soft and
cool, Her eyes were clear and bright,
But she is not there.

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You are what you eat.
I guess that then, in a way,
I'm delicious too.

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#188 posted by Church, May 26, 2009 6:37 PM

My fiance smiles
It's not her body I love
It's only her brains.

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Talking Trees of Oz
vs Romero's Zombies -
which ones will prevail!


(previously posted via Twitter to Plants vs Zombies)

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#190 posted by Laroquod, May 26, 2009 6:37 PM

Zombies learned to run...
Oh shit next they'll learn to think!
"Dawn of the Dickhead"

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The green grass grows brown
as the brown man turns to green;
plants vs. zombies.


(previously posted via Twitter)

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#192 posted by pmb, May 26, 2009 6:39 PM

Zombies want brains.
PETA says veggies can't think.
Fight hard, conscious plants.

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fast growing hops vine
overtakes legless zombie
bound in smell of beer

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Svelte Venus Flytrap
and urbane Tiki undead
share zombie cocktails.


(previously posted via Twitter)

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#195 posted by brianRa, May 26, 2009 6:43 PM

Pump action shotgun
Make sure to aim for the head
or you'll be sorry!

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"Brrraaaaiiinnns!" cries the zombie.
The toadstool does not cry out
as flesh it devours.

(previously posted via Twitter)

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The zombie nations
will need poet laureates.
Better get started.

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In the hot greenhouse
plants grow fearfully fecund;
zombies grow putrid.

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The zombie watchman
sits amidst the potted palms;
soon he will clock out.

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#200 posted by Anonymous, May 26, 2009 6:52 PM

michael, king of pop
i loved you and your glove once
now you are creepy

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When the zombies come
I want to be close to you
So you get my brains.

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In flower gardens
zombies planted shoulder deep
scare away the deer.

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#203 posted by Inox, May 26, 2009 6:55 PM

Uncanny valley
Will bring fear as you draw near
And bite off my ear

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#204 posted by Tom Hale, May 26, 2009 6:55 PM

The Reaper has struck
His tears fall as my life fades
Mourning my dark hunger

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#205 posted by Boeotian, May 26, 2009 6:58 PM

In Autumn I fall,
dead as a withering plant.
Light I found in Brains.

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#206 posted by Tom Hale, May 26, 2009 6:58 PM

Scratch my last one

The Reaper has struck
His tears fall as my life fades
Mourning my dark urge

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#207 posted by Anonymous, May 26, 2009 7:00 PM

When I asked my love
Why she left so late at night
All she said was: "braiiins"

~scaredcrowtheramen@gmail.com

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#208 posted by Bynk, May 26, 2009 7:01 PM

drops of fetid wet
flesh, decomposing, falls
summer zombies smell

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#209 posted by mfrankly, May 26, 2009 7:02 PM

My glorious love,
How can I live without you?
God, I can’t. Bite me!

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A summer breeze blows,
The odor of rotting flesh,
The gate will not hold.

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#211 posted by Anonymous, May 26, 2009 7:03 PM

careful gardener
planter of protective herbs
slays undead horrors

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#212 posted by vekuum, May 26, 2009 7:03 PM

Darkness is falling,
But that's okay, because I
Can smell you in there.

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June 3, Baltimore
Think we're the only ones left
Shh, wait... THEY'RE IN THE...............

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chorus of decay
violence our sustenance
bloody tendrils, dinner.

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#215 posted by vekuum, May 26, 2009 7:06 PM

Sorry, Fido. You
Were a truly great puppy,
But a better snack.

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@Brianra:

I was surprised no one beat me to it.

Did you say "zombies?"
Call Leon S. Kennedy
He's experienced

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#217 posted by Anonymous, May 26, 2009 7:10 PM

awoke as zombie
cursed with discerning palate
do brains taste better at CERN?

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#218 posted by vekuum, May 26, 2009 7:12 PM

Mom says, "Eat your brains,
You'll grow up strong." But I would
Prefer some candy.

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#219 posted by Tom Hale, May 26, 2009 7:16 PM

Fight! Pray not in vain!
Mother, Sister, quickly hide.
Brace, Zombies arrive

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#220 posted by dodi, May 26, 2009 7:17 PM

a hint of sadness
like a drunk who's lost a bet
don't say the zed-word

you've got red on you
there's a girl in the garden
they're a bit...bitey

a slice of fried gold
cockacidal maniac
fuck-a-doodle-do

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What is going on!?
A virus has been released
The dead are rising.

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#222 posted by oohShiny, May 26, 2009 7:21 PM

Zombies want for naught
save the tasty brains of men.
Hey, ow! That's my face...

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#223 posted by reagent, May 26, 2009 7:22 PM

the stores disappeared
we lasted the bleak winter
eating our weak

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Zombies, we not live!
We shuffle towards moist life
Eternal Struggle.

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#225 posted by Purpinth, May 26, 2009 7:25 PM

Hi, Nathan! That's weird
I'm sure I read your obit
last week. Ouch, that hurts!

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#226 posted by Velocity, May 26, 2009 7:25 PM

Wandering the night,
Ghosts of people you once loved.
Now they gnaw your bones.

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#227 posted by LynnSeay, May 26, 2009 7:27 PM

"Good Eats"

The undead stagger

to the diner. They want the

blue plate special: brains.

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#228 posted by reagent, May 26, 2009 7:30 PM

me again. i can't count...

the stores disappeared.
we lasted the bleak winter
by eating our weak.

(by the way - talking with a student today, i realized that a rabies variant could actually turn us into zombie-style horrors. awesome!)

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#229 posted by brf, May 26, 2009 7:31 PM

michael, king of pop
i loved you and your glove once
now you are creepy

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phone call to the morgue:
"yeah. i've got the corpse right he---
huh. where'd it get to?"

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#231 posted by brf, May 26, 2009 7:32 PM

awoke as zombie
cursed with discerning palate
brains taste good at CERN?

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At war with the shark
Taste of brain everlasting
Tina is this love?

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#233 posted by Tom Hale, May 26, 2009 7:36 PM

Welcome Maiden Death
We have killed again for you
Brains as our reward

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#234 posted by oohShiny, May 26, 2009 7:36 PM

Can we leave multiple entries? If so here's a second...

Zombie got my girl,
but we still get on alright,
now I feed her brains.

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#235 posted by brf, May 26, 2009 7:37 PM

i see my ex there
he looks gaunt, pale, maggot-y
shotgun is the best

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We love gray matter...
It drives us to follow you...
So please stop running...

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#237 posted by Anonymous, May 26, 2009 7:39 PM

"Please kill me," she says
Your wife was bitten last night
Cry, "I love you." BANG!

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I like to eat brains
Slow teens with big breasts are best
Run away dumb fucks

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Catchy tune, but won't
It distract me from killing
shambling zombies in spades?

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on the steel table -
a motionless cadaver.
its finger twitches!

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#241 posted by m2pt5, May 26, 2009 7:42 PM

Zombies on the lawn
There are zombies on the lawn
Get them off the lawn

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Ragged fingernails
Broken teeth- no difference
No end to hunger

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Zombie uprising
Who's side you on, mutherfuk...
Why did you bite me?

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#244 posted by Kaizen, May 26, 2009 7:44 PM

Zombies ate my dog
Couldn't they eat my homework?
That's how karma works...

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Whoops, need to amend mine:

Catchy tune, but won't
It distract me from killing
the shambling undead?

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War is over now
Return of the repressed, O
Best beloved: BRAINS!

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#247 posted by Satsuz, May 26, 2009 7:48 PM

Chewy, crunchy head...
Is there a prize inside it?
I must gnaw faster!

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#248 posted by holybuzz, May 26, 2009 7:48 PM

Zombies trudge through fog
to Doctorow's podium.
"Wait. You're not Lessig!"

;)

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#249 posted by schwagly, May 26, 2009 7:48 PM

herbivores eat plants

carnivores chow down soft flesh

so zombies are brainivores?

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Sorry, forgot to sign up so I wouldn't be anonymous!

"Please kill me," she says
Teethmarks are on your wife's arm
Cry, "I love you." BANG!

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#251 posted by misterm, May 26, 2009 7:52 PM

Restless earth stirring.
A lawn grown to battlefield.
Plants and zombies rise.

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#252 posted by misterm, May 26, 2009 7:55 PM

Restless earth stirring.
A lawn grown to battlefield.
Plants and zombies rise.

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#253 posted by K2nReno, May 26, 2009 7:56 PM

Poor hungry zombie...
Can't find anything to eat.
Vegetarian.

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brains brains brains brains brains
brains brains brains brains brains brains brains
brains brains brains -- ennui

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#255 posted by Tom Hale, May 26, 2009 7:59 PM

Amidst my brothers
Fighting to enter the home
Such delicious brains

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In the American 5-7-5 style:

A day at the mall
seems dead around here today
Is that guy okay?


More like traditional haiku:

fists plunge
entrails served raw
still alive


For the lolz:

urrraaaghhkssss
mmmmmaaaaahhhhhrglglgl
braaaaaaaaingns

Report this comment

The horizon breaks.
Light brings hope to all who live.
Fight the dead. Survive.

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the noble zombie
eating brains without regard
wanting only life

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#259 posted by brf, May 26, 2009 8:03 PM

encephalitis:
inflamed brains are delicious!
please save some for me.

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#260 posted by holybuzz, May 26, 2009 8:04 PM

I love my mommy.
I love my edamame.
Which has more protein?

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#261 posted by pandnotq, May 26, 2009 8:07 PM

For each brain I eat,
I say the nembutsu, then -
look to Fuji-san.

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#262 posted by Tom Hale, May 26, 2009 8:11 PM

Ah Brains, Delicious!
Hold them down, make bare their skulls
Evil deeds tastes so good

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#263 posted by dogfood, May 26, 2009 8:12 PM

You look sick my friend
Can I get you some Advil?
No? You need a hug?

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#264 posted by filjedi, May 26, 2009 8:13 PM

Fried brains for breakfast
Baked brains for lunch and dinner
Raw brains are the best

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#265 posted by brf, May 26, 2009 8:13 PM

i am tormented.
too much of old self remains.
can haz flesh cupcake?

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#266 posted by nosehat, May 26, 2009 8:15 PM

Ah, the simple life!
Endless, mindless quest for brains.
I stay ever dumb.

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#267 posted by Tom Hale, May 26, 2009 8:21 PM

"Save your prayers my child,"
I think, as I open his skull.
Innocence tartare

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in the April rain
her book of zombie haiku
withered by the oak

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Nomnom on your skull
Rotten flesh; cleanse the palate
Brains taste of chicken

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Zombies! Eat my brain!
Why would they prefer flowers?
My brain's way better.

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#271 posted by Anonymous, May 26, 2009 8:23 PM

several fingers
some writhe, others not --
sticky,bloody brain

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kittens sniff too close.
disembodied head snaps twice;
soon they too will turn.

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#273 posted by sum.zero, May 26, 2009 8:24 PM

the dead are walking
consumed by their hunger
the fall of mankind

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#274 posted by Anonymous, May 26, 2009 8:28 PM

I don't envy the people who have to read all of these. In spite, I wrote two...

In case of zombies
Break the glass and pull out the
sharpened machete
(inspire by: http://tinyurl.com/d3d9t6)

I scream in horror
at the mime to end all mimes
Romero's doing

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#275 posted by Mantenna, May 26, 2009 8:30 PM

When I was alive
People laughed when I ate brains
Not so funny now

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#276 posted by holybuzz, May 26, 2009 8:30 PM

Plants v Zombies.
SCOTUS rules 5-4 for
Cannibalism.

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uhnnnn uhrggn urh urh uhnnnn
brwaaaa moogggg uhhhn uhnn uhhhn uhhnn uhhnnn
Mountain Holler brainssss

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We are walking dead
Yet we do not decay
Our secret, Oil of Olay

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#279 posted by brf, May 26, 2009 8:34 PM

zombies can run fast?!
goddamn you george romero!
i have been misled.

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#280 posted by Felton, May 26, 2009 8:35 PM

Zombies do not run
'Cause their legs would fall right off
Romero said so

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Creeping, seeking they
create shadows in the black
reaching through abyss.

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Single/Zombie/Male
Searching for: Love, Laughter, Brains.
No gardeners, plz.

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#283 posted by thr33f, May 26, 2009 8:38 PM

Hey, you bit me. Damn.
That doesn't look good. Turning.
Let's go eat that guy.

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Zombies are on the screen
I am at the drive in theater
in nineteen fifty.

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#285 posted by aardila, May 26, 2009 8:39 PM

international house of brains
damn where is my arm and my leg
big-bang on a potato

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#286 posted by holybuzz, May 26, 2009 8:41 PM

Two zombies flirting.
His eye falls on her cleavage.
She laughs, gives it back.

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#287 posted by Anonymous, May 26, 2009 8:42 PM

Hollowed carcass seeks
Vigor, viscera; cursing
Photosynthetics

- chris o.

xerxn DOT xerxn AT gmail DOT com

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#288 posted by Clay, May 26, 2009 8:43 PM

too many comments
this post must now be meta
capitulation

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Thanks, garcon, but no
pate' tonight; I'm feeling
peckish for, say, BRAINS!

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#290 posted by Anonymous, May 26, 2009 8:44 PM

brains brains brains brains brains
brains brains brains brains brains brains brains
brains brains brains brains brains

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#291 posted by Anonymous, May 26, 2009 8:44 PM

Taking time to walk
Enjoying the search slowly
Now inside your head

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#292 posted by Tom Hale, May 26, 2009 8:46 PM

Searing pain, My head!
Dizzy, I awake. It's dark.
Insane, I crave Brains!

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#293 posted by Jeska, May 26, 2009 8:47 PM

Star Wormwood infects…
Reanimating the flesh
An endless hunger

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#294 posted by Anonymous, May 26, 2009 8:50 PM

When zombies attack
I'm gonna be all bad ass
Like Shaun of the Dead

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Violence? No need.
Just hand over your brains;
we'll be on our way.

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If Famous Poets wrote Zombie Haiku:

Zombie Haiku by Dylan Thomas
Do not go gentle
into that zombie plagued night.
And take the shotgun.

Zombie Haiku by Sylvia Plath
From head to black shoe,
daddy, I had to eat you
because I’m starving.

Zombie Haiku by Robert Frost
Two lobes in the skull.
I eat the bloodier one –
not much difference.

Zombie Haiku by e.e. cummings
if anyone lived
in this wretched how town (they)
would be soon eaten.

Zombie Haiku by Emily Dickinson
I heard a fly buzz
when I became a zombie.
That was one loud bug.

Zombie Haiku by Walt Whitman
Every skin atom
form’d from this soil, this air,
tastes like chicken meat.

Zombie Haiku by William Shakespeare
To bite through the skull
or beat it against the wall?
That is the question.

Zombie Haiku by Edgar Allen Poe
Beside of the sea
I killed my Annabel Lee
because zombies do that.

Zombie Haiku by Theodore Roethke
I knew a woman,
piled up once I ate her,
lovely in her bones.

zombiehaiku.com

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#297 posted by Anonymous, May 26, 2009 8:53 PM

Laptop is empty
Haiku too weak win game
isohunt holds key...

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#298 posted by holybuzz, May 26, 2009 8:54 PM

Heavy knock on door.
UPS guy. A zombie?
Might have my Kindle.

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#299 posted by Tom Hale, May 26, 2009 8:55 PM

"My lord! where art thou!"
I yelled as I was devoured
Later, groggy... Brains!

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You eat who you like.
But I'll eat Ryan Mecum
'Cuz he's a showoff

(Just kidding, Ryan. Great stuff as always!)

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if i had a brain
then i would eat it as well
see, i'm being fair

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#302 posted by j5bot, May 26, 2009 8:58 PM

The last words I heard
Trapped inside this rotting flesh
were: "Aim for the head!"

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#303 posted by Rtarara, May 26, 2009 8:58 PM

Bike and Machete
I will escape the Zombies
My brains are my own


Max Brooks knew that they
Were there and lying in wait
Few heard and lived

Brains oh Nom Nom Nom
Tasty Tasty Morsels Yum
I eat I feast

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#304 posted by JonBeard, May 26, 2009 8:58 PM

Zombies in a row
Unenthusiastically
Dancing "Soulless Train"

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In times of zombie
Forget not essential truth
Plants still need love.

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#306 posted by tr0nk, May 26, 2009 9:10 PM

look away, boingboing
it is coming for you now
soon there will be blood

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That is not your man.
Notice his hungry brain stare?
It's time to run, bitch!

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A scream, no defense
Feeding their eternity
The taste of old friends

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Shambling, silly gait
Laugh some at their evil ways
Then shoot for the head

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Broken teeth no good
Too late for better dental
Fresh flesh too chewy

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#311 posted by Anonymous, May 26, 2009 9:15 PM

 
Zombies eat brains
Plants Lunching Ice
Nice Garden

user: http://last.fm/user/little_raven


 

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#312 posted by Anonymous, May 26, 2009 9:19 PM

Brain-dead, soul-less meat:
awkward, scary, dead-enders.
Still smarter than plants.

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Can plants compete with
A shotgun and chainsaw hand?
Shop Smart. Shop S-mart.

Mercury singing,
`Don't Stop Me Now`'s a good time.
But dogs CAN look up.

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Zombie Haiku by Charles Bukowski

"Where's your face?" he asked.
"Eaten, barkeep," I replied.
"Pour me two more shots."

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#315 posted by gwaley, May 26, 2009 9:24 PM

Zombie pushes on
exploded by a spud mine
Plants are the victor

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#316 posted by Tom Hale, May 26, 2009 9:25 PM

Xeni turns, knife drawn
She raises blade, impact sounds
"Zombie down!" she shouts

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Something to chew on:
My entrails! Get it? ...Zombies
never get my puns..

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#318 posted by Tom Hale, May 26, 2009 9:28 PM

Scratch my last one

Xeni turns, knife drawn
She raises blade, impact sounds
she shouts, "Zombie down!"

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#319 posted by mophoto, May 26, 2009 9:30 PM

dead tired holes for eyes
undying devotion to her craft
she gets her man every time

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===

zombie hand with
four fingers has trouble
with syllables


===

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The zombie's eyeball
Dangles from its socket like
A maple's last leaf.

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#322 posted by Anonymous, May 26, 2009 9:39 PM

Zombies on my lawn
Swaying, moaning and shuffling
You've got red on you


*with obvious apologies to recent films

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Shambling mindless husks
Limping, growling, moaning, "brains..."
Zombies on my lawn

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Fresh brains in my mouth
Tangy, chewy, pink and grey
Please pass the hot sauce

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They always told me
Horticulture just wastes time
But, who still has brains?

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Till death do us part
those words mean everything, but,
what if she's undead?

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#327 posted by wager, May 26, 2009 9:45 PM

Zombies on PCs
Incessantly playing WoW
They could use some plants

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In Japanese:

Oishii na
Noumiso Tabeta
Gochisousama!

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#329 posted by elix, May 26, 2009 9:48 PM

Crazy Dave's crazy!
"Greetings, neighbour!" Or, for Dave:
"Behbehbehgv?" ...halp!

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#330 posted by thereau, May 26, 2009 9:52 PM

Zombies on the roof
They're pounding at the door - ugh!
That's new wallpaper

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Sow dead men in rows.
Water. Wait for hands to bloom.
Run. Zombie garden.

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Hey, that's my hand I
see in your exposed entrails!
I'll just grab my watch...

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#333 posted by Wolfki, May 26, 2009 9:56 PM

Dead hands stroke gently
Can you feel the rotted bites?
Adieu, petite brain

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undead hordes litter
my town with morsels of flesh
even the crows won't eat

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May I have your brain?
Love to meet some new people,
Won't you stay and talk?

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Wish I had a plan
Zombies coming for my brains
All I know is, RUN!

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#337 posted by BCJ, May 26, 2009 10:14 PM

Like Dorthy's Tin man
the rotten zombie lurch'd on
Searching for a brain

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#338 posted by BCJ, May 26, 2009 10:15 PM

walking on our streets
striking fear into our hearts
devouring our brains

/hopefully we can enter more than one.

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#339 posted by BCJ, May 26, 2009 10:16 PM

ribbons of organs
wrenched from a still-living child
the zombies must eat

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#340 posted by BCJ, May 26, 2009 10:16 PM

When dead rise again
No hope for humanity
The zombies will win

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#341 posted by BCJ, May 26, 2009 10:17 PM

Zombies all around
bone chilling moans from dead lips
There is no escape

Report this comment
#342 posted by BCJ, May 26, 2009 10:18 PM

Romero was right
Nothing is more frightening
Night of living dead

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#343 posted by BCJ, May 26, 2009 10:19 PM

Dangling, bloody flesh
hanging off a severed limb
in the zombie's mouth

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solar power wins
versus the brain eating dead
here comes one more wave

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#345 posted by BCJ, May 26, 2009 10:20 PM

coming to get you
Barbara, he's coming to
get you Barbara

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#346 posted by b3x, May 26, 2009 10:20 PM

The weedkiller - did.
Yeah, they're dead. They're all messed up.
Weeds alive?! "Buuuuds! Buuuuds!"

Report this comment
#347 posted by BCJ, May 26, 2009 10:20 PM

Decomposing corpse
In time you will rise again
Become a zombie

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#348 posted by BCJ, May 26, 2009 10:21 PM

Lazarus beings
Not quite dead but not alive
Wandering the earth

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aim for the head.
won't die. its already dead!
shoot the fucking head.

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#350 posted by BCJ, May 26, 2009 10:21 PM

Within the coffin
the cry came from a dead man
reanimated

/11th and probably final entry

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#351 posted by b3x, May 26, 2009 10:22 PM

The weedkiller - did.
Yeah, they're dead. They're all messed up.
Weeds alive?! "Buuuuds! Buuuuds!"

Report this comment
#352 posted by Anonymous, May 26, 2009 10:22 PM

my torn rotting limb
acts the fleshy baseball bat
Smack! Score! Brains Brains Brains!

Report this comment
#353 posted by Rick., May 26, 2009 10:25 PM

What's with all the tanks?
Hey, pal...quit biting my arm!
What's happeni--...BRAAAAINS!

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Fed all night, must rest
This town is nearly empty
Enough brains for all

Report this comment
#355 posted by Anonymous, May 26, 2009 10:27 PM

Blue Bottle Fly Buzz
Venus Fly Trap chews its mate
Zombie salivate

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My torn rotting limb
acts the fleshy baseball bat
Smack! Score! Brains Brains Brains!

Report this comment
#357 posted by Anonymous, May 26, 2009 10:33 PM

Grrr Zombie eat now
slide legs down the street faster
You are the main course

Report this comment
#358 posted by Anonymous, May 26, 2009 10:33 PM

we are strange zombies
people just don't understand
we hunger for grains

Report this comment
#359 posted by BCJ, May 26, 2009 10:34 PM

I'll always love you
but if a zombie bites you
I will shoot to kill

Report this comment

When you're KING zombie,
You don't get your hands dirty,
Go get me brains, bitch!

Report this comment
#361 posted by mussing, May 26, 2009 10:37 PM

I play L4D but would love to give plants vs zombies a go:

In only two weeks
Of infection, zombies all.
World has gone to Hell.

Only four immune,
Got to get to the safe house:
Shotgun or uzi?

We've been left for dead,
Hold up, this is something new,
Looks like they're changing.

Someone's still alive!
Over there, sounds like a girl,
Crying in the dark.

Hear her icy wail,
Flashlights off, avoid her gaze,
Don't startle the witch.

SHIT, SHIT, THEY'RE COMING!
What the? RUN LIKE HELL! Get back
To the alleyway.

For our flesh they come,
For their sake I hope they like
The taste of hot lead.

Boom! One down, fifty-
Three thousand five hundred and
Ninety-four to go.

You tap my shoulder,
Wait- hands aren't normally wet!
Smoker 'round my neck!

HANG ON! You shout out,
Chk chk BOOM, fall to the ground,
"Merry Christmas Bill."

Get our asses up,
There's too many- beep, beep, beep,
Fire in the hole!

Zombies into mush:
Smoke detector and a pipe?
Call me MacGyver.

"Boomer!" Someone shouts,
Too close! Ugh, now I can't see,
Here we go again.

Backs against the wall,
I'll stick to melee: friendly
Fire isn't friendly.

Chopper overhead,
Over here! Not infected!
Run from the alley.

Hey, what was that sound?
Sounded like a- OH MY GOD!
GET IT OFF OF ME!

Careful, aim your shots,
That car could have an alarm-
Oh look, yes, it did.

Yet another horde.
Wait, something is different.
A blood curdling roar!

Tank comes thundering,
Ripping zombies limb from limb,
Do we run or shoot?

Time to kill the tank,
"Shit, who's got the molotov?"
"I thought you had it!"

Back to the alley,
"Come on, come on" Francis says,
Waiting for the beast.

Francis needs some help!
Face my barking M16.
Okay then, now what?

Get up to the roof!
Silhouettes of zombie forms,
Lit by muzzle flash.

"Go, I'll hold them off!"
She cries out, pistols dropping
Cartridges of brass.

Leaping for her life,
Francis grabs her arm, the tank
Falls down to its death.

"We made it", you say,
No need for a party, son:
We just crossed the street.

Later on we muse,
Deal with it all by laughing
at the things we do:

"I'll see peace on earth,
If I have to kill them all
With my own bare hands."

Protect Zoey for
The sake of humanity:
We must reproduce.

Zoey, just stand still,
Let me bandage up your chest.
"But I'm at full health!"

"Not goin' in there!
I've seen how this movie ends:
The black dude dies first!"

The guys used to laugh
When I hit the range at lunch,
Not so funny now.

Get to the chopper!
Covering fire! Wait, what?
I'm right back in 'Nam.

Thankyou for reading,
My Left 4 Dead haiku tale,
Hope that you enjoyed.

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Green decomposes
On dewy fields of glory
Where our seeds reside

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Zombies versus Plants.
What's the big deal, its Mother,
Nature on acid.

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#364 posted by BCJ, May 26, 2009 10:49 PM

Time of the season
Is an incredible song
I miss The Zombies

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#365 posted by Anonymous, May 26, 2009 10:50 PM

Run all you want meat
I have patience of the dead
Soon my gift to you

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I want to eat brains,
Entrails and muscles as well,
Slowly chasing you.

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Who you gonna' call
When there's bodies in the hood
The Zombies. We're good.

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Snow Peas firing off
volleys of icy legumes
make slow, slow zombies

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You! Get off my lawn
Photosynthesis trumps brains
Any time of the day

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My undead winter.
Man with umbrella comes near.
Looks like it will.... BRAINS...

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Once set in the ground,
Now rustling, seeking targets.
They will not plant me.

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Zombies caught my team
So shot my friend in the leg
Bait for getaway

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#373 posted by raffy, May 26, 2009 11:16 PM

diced frontal cortex
juicy flesh wrapped in bacon
poor zombie vegans

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We once were lovers
now I long for your red heart
between my teeth--crush!

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Are you so diff'rent
with your TV and iPod
numb is the word, yo

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Brain tartare again?
Once a cook, now a stomach
with no mind, just pain

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reality check:

Swing the shovel hard!
One goes down! Two, then three, four!
UNSTOPPA- Ouch! Crap.

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Cemetery's bite
yearn reanimated corpse
a gift from my brain

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Zombie Santa's here!
Fa, la, la, la! Deck the halls
with bowels of Holly

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Your brains are no good
Brains are a delicacy
I have high standards

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How lonely is life
When everyone runs away
I just want a hug

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kitty poo poo knee
noo nee nipple fudge ripple
brain brain poo pipple

boo bee pee pee yum
zombie num me rum tum lum
squonch squintch monch mintch noo

gaping blee bloo blah
glistening yum yum snack time
koala yummies

vleeyetnam borerors
musical star doodie pie
funtastic five live

pineapple see-saw
bloody koolaid choo chii mah
night time one chime goo

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How lonely is life
When everyone runs away
I just want a hug

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I will not eat brains
Vegetarian zombie
My friends think I'm odd

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Please don't kill zombies
We have so much in common
They like puppies too

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#386 posted by Anonymous, May 26, 2009 11:41 PM

biting brains, burying beans
boosting bodies
and all that means

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Mindless ravaging
I follow the scent of blood
But it makes me sneeze

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Spring breeze through window
Brings scents of grass and dead flesh.
Zombies broke the glass.

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#389 posted by Anonymous, May 26, 2009 11:47 PM

I am lol-Zombie
I can haz brain-burger?
what it the next fad?

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one thing haunts me now
I seek my love forever
she is in your head

walking walking hey
there is a lovely dinner
walking walking gone

the zombie cometh
records flying through the air
not the classic rock

I liked you better
before you bit my nose off
now we're cool again

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true story:

Dreamt an obese one-
armed woman gnawed her own limb
off... Wake up!?! Wake up!!

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If a zombie went
to see Willy Wonka, would
he be a "bad egg?"

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Some zombies avoid
full-contact sports. Flesh transfer
does not spell out "f-u-n."

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#394 posted by Olie, May 27, 2009 12:12 AM

In bed before two
A grandson learning haiku
Plants and zombie dreams

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#395 posted by Anonymous, May 27, 2009 12:21 AM

"plants versus zombies"
obvious reference to
"day of the triffids"?

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I'd be right as rain
If I only had a brain...
I'll grab a girl again!

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#397 posted by nosehat, May 27, 2009 12:29 AM

To Ryan Mecum (#296):
I just Amazoned your book.
Can't wait to read it!

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flesh herd sways closer—
cloudy eyes forget their lives.
rest now on soft lawn

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Three from me:


1.
Darn edamame...
move them and send me the code
or i'll eat your face!

2.
You thought you had it rough?
I rely on flesh for food!
Sunburn is nothing.

3.
Brains... in house... must eat!
But ... GUARDED! --- Yes, we stand watch,
rooted as sentries.

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Groaning getting loud
Barricades won't hold for long
Nice knowing you all

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#401 posted by beemoh, May 27, 2009 12:40 AM

Geeky zombie quiz?
Obligatory Spaced reference!
Take a bite of peach.

/b

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#402 posted by Anonymous, May 27, 2009 12:42 AM

Mmmmmmmmmmmh!

Can I have the edamame ?

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#403 posted by Jonz, May 27, 2009 12:45 AM

Zombie year

Spring brings flies and ants
Snapping bones, supping fresh flesh
My death knows no end

Sloughing skin from bones
Rotting summer days gone by
See me shamble close

Shot but not deterred
Apocalyptic autumn
I crave the living

Dead winter sky fall
My cold stomach, your warm brains
I keep pressing on

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cortical plastic
zombie craved mapping
cyborg pollen

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Set-back #9:
Gypsy stole my wallet... Skirt's
stuck in teeth. Any floss?

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What did you guys do
with my sister Linda Lou?
And what is that you chew?

I know rhyming is cheating
but with all this brain eating
my desire to please you is fleeting.

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#407 posted by keef3, May 27, 2009 1:06 AM

I saw a zom-bee!
bzzz, zap, smack flutter down dead!
bee! rise up again!

Venus flytrap with
jaws of steel must not
munch on a zombee

Pink zombies with cute
gray eyelashes remind me
of a girl I know

I had a mallet
I smashed the brains of all
zombies attacking

Cute zombie girl, Brie
Unlike cheese she does not stink
but might be tasty

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#408 posted by schr0559, May 27, 2009 1:13 AM

sunday morning, think:
chainsaw through a zombie's head
as knife through jelly

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Zombies are after
My enormous juicy brain
Aim for the head, Dude!

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#410 posted by knnygns, May 27, 2009 1:28 AM

From the dirty soil
I came and long for just one
Limitless embrace

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Shoot 'em in the head
Bang bang bang bang splat dead dead
Watch out! Behind you!

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#412 posted by 3lbFlax, May 27, 2009 1:41 AM

please aim for the chest
and send more paramedics
they are delicious

please season your brains
marinate them in reason
and furious thought

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#413 posted by Anonymous, May 27, 2009 2:13 AM

I may have just missed the deadline, I think it's 2:12 AM PST. But I thought of one:

I have eaten of
The brains you left in the fridge
Forgive me: I hunger.

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#414 posted by Anonymous, May 27, 2009 2:17 AM

Zombie arising
Like balloon in athmosphere
From ground new life stems.

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#415 posted by Anonymous, May 27, 2009 2:28 AM

I stare down hard at
The bastard bungee zombie
His sproing is my pain

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On behalf of Simon:

Difficult to say
People crowding through the mall
Dead or just shopping?

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I loved my girlfriend
but she wanted my body
one bite changed her mind

Alternatively;

Don't stay to hold me
When I'm dead, I'll miss you, but
I'll want you there too

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#419 posted by Anonymous, May 27, 2009 3:50 AM

I want brains to eat
I will walk towards the brains
I will eat the brains

- Anonyzombie

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#420 posted by wabewawa, May 27, 2009 4:21 AM

Come there for "meatloaf"
From Mom (not Zombies), note says
Must buy more Tall-nuts!

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the undead marches
but I'm armed, and I'm ready
this ain't no "Thriller"

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#422 posted by TheRrick, May 27, 2009 4:53 AM

Dead and yet not dead
Living and yet not alive
I yearn for your brains

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#423 posted by Anonymous, May 27, 2009 4:56 AM

Spring flowers are late
the zombies have my brain
hence I can not win

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Plants versus Zombies
Zombies all-over the place
Watering the plants?

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Plants firing green peas?
Human winter approaching
Zombies have patience

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I rose from the dead
Plants are trying to kill me
Shame they don't have brains

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#427 posted by Anonymous, May 27, 2009 5:19 AM

See Dick run away
See Dick get bit by a man
See Dick eat your brains

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#428 posted by Anonymous, May 27, 2009 5:20 AM

Plants root, peas shoot, yet
No verdure can endure my
Cerebral Pursuit

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#429 posted by Anonymous, May 27, 2009 5:40 AM

With the evening breeze
the water laps around the
GRAAAAWWWWRRRRRRR!!!!!

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#430 posted by Virulent, May 27, 2009 5:46 AM

Voodoo priest dances
I rise from the deep brown earth
To feast upon brains

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#431 posted by Anonymous, May 27, 2009 5:54 AM

Cricket Bat, Shotgun,
Dynamite, Holy Water?
Choose your weapon, quick.

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The ground having opened,
the village
is full of children

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A green willow,
dripping down into the blood,
at low tide.

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All the day long-
yet not long enough for the zombie,
gnawing, gnawing.

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#435 posted by Anonymous, May 27, 2009 6:17 AM

braaaaaaaaiiiiiiiinnnns.

(Zombies can't count and have little concept of syllables.)

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Diet after death,
for a vegetarian,
limits one's options.

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Drat! I stay away from BB for a few days and miss this! Here's my late submission.

Night in Monroeville,
Waiting for the invasion;
Bikers or Zombies?

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#438 posted by kimnbri, May 27, 2009 6:31 AM

undead and mobile
hollow lifeless visages
run away you snack

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#439 posted by jprlk, May 27, 2009 6:48 AM

I will win this game
I have the greatest of all
P.v.Z. haikus

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Corroded and gross
Eating the faces of others
zombies will attack

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Level five charm spell
Useless against these zombies
Eating my face off

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Open up the door
All I want... to eat your brains
Be Reasonable

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Zombies up the path
Only one thing I can do
Lawnmower cuts swath

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The lotus leaf slices
through hordes of decaying flesh
Falling to the ground

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Hell is full of souls
Rotting hands dig through the soil
The dead walk the Earth

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Autumn leaves drift down
Swirling through October wind
Stick to rotting flesh

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#447 posted by Deidzoeb, May 27, 2009 7:18 AM

My putrid flesh knows
Your fresh green thumbs can't match ours.
Snow will strip your leaves.

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#448 posted by Deidzoeb, May 27, 2009 7:20 AM

I'm relieved to hear
those are edamame beans,
not meerkat droppings.

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#449 posted by Anonymous, May 27, 2009 7:20 AM

Brains taste like candy
I wish I could move faster
To catch some fast food

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Teeth like corn kernels
Crunching bones and cracking twigs
Limbs fall like acorns

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#451 posted by Anonymous, May 27, 2009 7:23 AM

knock,knock at the door
plywood on all the windows
reaching hands,moaning

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The undead are here.
Groaning they kill more humans.
Spreading zombie love.

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Outcast, I wander
Limbs drag, guttural sounds...
Brains are my solace

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Cold chill of Winter
Outside they yearn for my brains
The cold consumes me

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Flora Cannons Fire
PopCap in a zombies ass
I have yet to play

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#456 posted by Anonymous, May 27, 2009 8:07 AM

The love I once felt
Won't ever be enough to
Keep from eating you

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The love I once felt
Won't ever be enough to
Keep from eating you

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#458 posted by Anonymous, May 27, 2009 8:18 AM

Shit! We're surrounded!
Those damn dolphins are too quick
Get to da choppa!

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Tasty, yummy brains.
Running girl trips nemesis.
Endtimes comeuppance.

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#460 posted by Anonymous, May 27, 2009 8:20 AM

My friend: Zombie bit,
I'm not sure on etiquette,
How long 'till bullet?

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#461 posted by Undrhil, May 27, 2009 8:27 AM

Shuffling. Moaning. Slow.
I will catch you and
eat your LIIVVEERRRR!

(What? I like da livers....)

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#462 posted by Anonymous, May 27, 2009 8:42 AM

Rotting Corpses shamble by
Blood drips, smell of decay
I pray I do not join them.

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Shoppers and zombies
Wander aimlessly about
The food court is me


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Peashooters spit pods
Zombie hordes approach the house
Hurry grow more plants

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#465 posted by Dominic, May 27, 2009 8:50 AM

brains brains brains brains brains
chew chew chew chew chew chew chew chew
moan...send more bloggers

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#466 posted by demidan, May 27, 2009 8:54 AM

Braainzzz, cherry blosoms
explode from screaming masters
I feed yet hunger

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#467 posted by demidan, May 27, 2009 8:55 AM

Braainzzz, cherry blosoms
explode from screaming masters
I feed yet hunger

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cool breeze gently blows
grass field picnic, lazy day
oh @#%$ a zombie!!!!!!

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Once upon a midday sunny, while I pondered blogs so funny,
Over many quaint and curious postings unread,

While I surfed instead of working, sometimes posting mostly lurking,
I heard the sound of something jerking, the shuffling of feet undead,

... oh sorry is this the Haiku room?

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plants see only fear
poor misunderstood zombie
flowers for his love

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#471 posted by Anonymous, May 27, 2009 9:14 AM

My gun is empty
I am surrounded by death
and death is hungry

In most films, they're called
the walking dead, or undead--
who would say zombies?

Sometimes I wonder,
How would a zombie brain taste?
Those are the long nights

When the dead arise
the revolution will be
decapitated

Even zombies write
haikus: every seventeenth
time they moan "braaaaains!" Cake!

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#472 posted by Anonymous, May 27, 2009 9:32 AM

Brains, brains and more brains
Maybe they're across the lawn
Killed by stupid plants

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Plants use pollen guns
These zombies have hayfever
They groan out "Achoo!"

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There once was a man from Nantes
Who's garden left nothing to want
Once O'errun by undead
Who hungered for his head
They were stopped by a peashooter plant


... oh sorry not the Lymerick room either?

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all out of ammo.
if you cant beat em, join em!
time to seek revenge

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#476 posted by circa71, May 27, 2009 9:57 AM

Taste of Human Flesh
Chewing chewing till the dawn
undead mob alive

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#477 posted by circa71, May 27, 2009 9:58 AM

Taste of Human Flesh
Chewing chewing till the dawn
undead mob alive

Mindless living corpse
Decay riddled plague undead
Insatiably devours

Tetrodotoxin
An Exhumed terror enslaved
Souless voodoo priest

Flesh eating menace
Reanimated terror
Blood splashed fury rages

Rife tyranny of flesh
Infectious apocalypse
Disinterred death puppets

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Endless zombie talk
It now seems rather old hat
Please get over it

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Glamafez is bored
Yet he made it to the end
And posted his own...

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Brains, brains and more brains
Maybe they're across the lawn
Killed by stupid plants

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#481 posted by xarkkon, May 27, 2009 10:47 AM

Maple leaves waft by.
Kidneys taste best in autumn
with a cup of tea

Wrongfully accused
that gruesome death last winter.
He eats hearts not brains

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#482 posted by xarkkon, May 27, 2009 10:51 AM

Wrongfully accused
a gruesome death last winter.
He eats hearts not brains

Maple leaves waft by.
Kidneys taste best in autumn
with a cup of tea

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Don't stop me now, cuz
I'm having such a good time
I'm having a ball

(Shaun of the dead ftw)

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I, Frauenfelder
Lure them in with a free game
Then I eat their brains

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Zombie Chiuaua
Most horrible breed of all
Ankle, heart, and brain

Arkizzle's Zombie Chiuaua

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Zombie chicks are cool
So nice to find a girl who
wants me for my brain

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#487 posted by Anonymous, May 27, 2009 11:16 AM

Beat em or burn em
They go up pretty easy
Just aim for the head

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#488 posted by nosehat, May 27, 2009 11:20 AM

What was Mark thinking?
Way too many here to judge!
Next time: Villanelles.

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#489 posted by pachoo, May 27, 2009 11:24 AM

My zombie gard'ner
takes six hours to mow the lawn
but your rates are great

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#490 posted by EMS, May 27, 2009 11:26 AM

My only remorse:
This re-animated corpse,
to subsist needs brains

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Most delicious
motor cortex. So yummy,
I ate my own first.

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Where do they come from,
zombies attacking gardens?
Leave me alone now!

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brains taste like chicken
I was vegetarian
I prefer the plants!

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#494 posted by Anonymous, May 27, 2009 12:09 PM

our flesh has decayed
but our desire to taste life
now waxes stronger

My work computer hates the idea of signing in!

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#495 posted by Anonymous, May 27, 2009 12:19 PM

unreal, undead, yet
lust is alive, unslaked for
always, flesh and blood

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Ack! Reposting this since "hurdles" was the wrong word. Hope it's not too late.

Ripened Nuts hide traps.
Even zombies with long poles
meet oblivion

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reanimated
not living, yet not dead
trapped between two worlds

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Vegetarian
Undead need to survive too.
Those plants look tasty...

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roaming your suburb
my dashing traffic cone hat
your lawn is my lunch

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Eating my flowers?
Damn zombies, get off my lawn!
Shake my cane at you

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#501 posted by jameshay, May 27, 2009 2:20 PM

Shambling undead
fill the streets both day and night.
These canned goods are mine!

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#502 posted by jameshay, May 27, 2009 2:21 PM

Do the living dead
not know what it is they do
or do they not care?

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#503 posted by jameshay, May 27, 2009 2:24 PM

Flesh-eating zombie
in the water fighting shark.
Youtube esctasy!

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#504 posted by jameshay, May 27, 2009 2:25 PM

In honor of "The Zombie Survival Guide":

Head for the rooftops.
Destroy the stairs behind us.
Thank God, they can't climb!

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The yawn mower
Spring makes it wander
Flesh for daisies

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#506 posted by dalgodas, May 27, 2009 2:27 PM

cherry blossoms bloom
foot soldiers in gory war
with shambling hordes

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#507 posted by jameshay, May 27, 2009 2:27 PM

Also in honor of "The Zombie Survival Guide":

Months in icy bonds
zombies thaw and walk again
now that spring is here.

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#508 posted by jameshay, May 27, 2009 2:29 PM

In honor of "Return of the Living Dead":

Want to eat your brain
its sweetness eases my pain
but never enough!

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#509 posted by jameshay, May 27, 2009 2:30 PM

Valiantly struggling.
Fighting hoards of living dead.
No, not Aunt Millie!

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#510 posted by jameshay, May 27, 2009 2:31 PM

Bitten by zombies
he passes on then rises
and joins in the feast.

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#511 posted by jameshay, May 27, 2009 2:33 PM

He tries not to think -
bashing out the zombie's brain -
of their wedding night.

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Smelly zombie stalks.
Something red sways in the breeze.
Masticated flesh.

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#513 posted by jameshay, May 27, 2009 2:35 PM

Sleepless yet again.
On the stair, a zombie's tread?
Curse you Romero!

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#514 posted by Anonymous, May 27, 2009 2:38 PM

no more room in hell
the dead walk the earth again
damn pedestrians

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#515 posted by mamarox, May 27, 2009 2:39 PM

Ugh...just realized I wasn't signed in...let's try again:

Zhaiku #1

Arise from cold earth
Warm breeze brings scent of brains
Plants thrive in springtime

Zhaiku #2

Hunger shambles, shakes
Warm winds bear songs of brains
The rose has sharp thorns

Zhaiku #3

Green, leafy and ripe
But I prefer gray matter
Gardens spring to life

Zhaiku #4

Slow, slow Romero,
Snyder gave us feet that fly
Zombies outrun plants

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#516 posted by Anonymous, May 27, 2009 2:45 PM

As the last plant dies,
And shambling death approaches,
Hear Monsanto weep.

by Jedya

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#517 posted by Anonymous, May 27, 2009 2:48 PM

can't move so fast now
you think you can hide from me
but i never sleep

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#518 posted by Anonymous, May 27, 2009 2:54 PM

Never sick or dead,
Never harming the planet,
We all should zombie.

Stay tuned for more in Kung-Fu Zombies From Outer Space: the webcomic
Thx - Jedya

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#519 posted by Anonymous, May 27, 2009 2:55 PM

[re: day of the triffids]

blind wander moaning
sighted don't care anymore
too much suffering

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#520 posted by Anonymous, May 27, 2009 2:59 PM

hell on earth begins
satan's foul pit is empty
take refuge below?

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#521 posted by Anonymous, May 27, 2009 3:06 PM

[re: "old hat"]

real life gets dumber
death gets closer every day
always in style then

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#522 posted by Anonymous, May 27, 2009 3:10 PM

i can destroy you
i need only garden tools
flee my lawnmower!

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#523 posted by Anonymous, May 27, 2009 3:14 PM

an axe, all i have
arms tired, sleep in the attic
is this a bite mark?

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#524 posted by Anonymous, May 27, 2009 3:20 PM

ravenous darkness
electricity all gone
neighborhoods on fire

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I have a hunger
Insatiable, ravenous
Demo far too short

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The walking dead come!
A defensive posture, now,
save me my garden!

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Zombies eat your brains
PeaShooters knock off their heads
Don't follow the HELP!

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#528 posted by Eulipian, May 27, 2009 4:19 PM

Attacking my home,
Brain gulping zombies lament
Death by potted plants.

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#529 posted by Eulipian, May 27, 2009 4:22 PM

Can it be a game,
Destroying the living dead
with bio-weapons?

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#530 posted by Eulipian, May 27, 2009 4:31 PM

Who weeps for the zombies'
Unquenched hunger, undone by
Light eating gluttons?

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#531 posted by Eulipian, May 27, 2009 4:37 PM

Trial will not download.
Can't challenge undead to brawl.
Minimize, here's boss!

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#532 posted by mox, May 27, 2009 4:39 PM

Bite of the undead
Cherry trees rustle above
Universe is One.

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#533 posted by glishnak, May 27, 2009 5:23 PM

wallnuts, peashooters
protect me from the zombies.
AAAH! Another Wave!

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#534 posted by glishnak, May 27, 2009 5:29 PM

Threepeaters are cool,
cherry bombs are awesome, so
beat the pole vaulter.

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The shamblers approach
Unresting, ravenous, dead
Thank God for pea guns

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#536 posted by TheRrick, May 27, 2009 6:53 PM

From my 11 year old son...

ZOMBIES:

if we want their brains,
let's bring in a zomboni
and crush them to bits

PLANTS:

aaahhh! a zomboni.
it is now we need spikeweed
oh good, we have lots

Report this comment
#537 posted by Halfdane, May 27, 2009 7:08 PM

Arms reach for small one...
Gaping maw meets with bald pate...
Black juice rolls down chin

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#538 posted by Anonymous, May 27, 2009 7:16 PM

Sunlight and water
nurture seedlings in my heart.
Curse! Foiled again!

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#539 posted by jmercer, May 27, 2009 8:34 PM

I have seen it crawl
green, endless, unstoppable
fear zombie kudzu!

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what i fear more than
zombie apocalypse is
losing my glasses

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Reanimated
Hungry for your brains and flesh
Nothing personal

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#542 posted by gow, May 27, 2009 9:27 PM

Too late for contest,
Still I must post this effort
At zombie haiku:

"...zombies are coming..."
What is this fear I feel now?
It is named joy.

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#543 posted by mamarox, May 27, 2009 11:55 PM

Reposting #2, realized the syntax was wrong!

Zhaiku #2

Hunger shambles, shakes
Warm winds bear a song of brains
The rose has sharp thorns

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#544 posted by chr15m, May 28, 2009 1:28 AM

Shoelaces; untied,
surrounded by brain eaters,
you bend and tie them.

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Your putrid flesh
oh, lovely ex-zombie,
all over the place

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Can't feel my flesh, right,
but I know I've been bitten
by a sunflower

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#547 posted by Anonymous, May 28, 2009 6:37 AM

Meat-centric diet,
Although full of good proteins -
Undesirable.

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#548 posted by Anonymous, May 28, 2009 10:14 AM

Eating brains is good
But what's even better is
writing good haiku

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Brains are nutritious,
And mmm, oh so delicious.
I can't wait for more.

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look out your window
zombies want to eat your brains
plants, grow and save me!

zombies in the pool!
what's a homeowner to do?
kelp to the rescue!

zombie BOBSLED team?
plants that shoot frozen peas too?
plants versus zombies

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#551 posted by Takuan, May 28, 2009 12:06 PM

so many good ones! Might I suggest though, that a review of:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Haiku

would produce that subtle polish that defines a lasting haiku.

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I thought the contest was over at 2am Pacific time the day it was posted.

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#553 posted by glishnak, May 28, 2009 1:02 PM

I see them coming
No shotgun or ax needed,
all I need is seeds.

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#554 posted by Anonymous, May 28, 2009 5:06 PM

dead cleansing the earth
life wasted on the living
metabolic filth

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Contest is over
Decaying brains obsessing
"Who has won the game?"

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Sitting at my comp...
Realize there's a stranger here.
Damn, there goes my brain.

In my cubicle
I spy Dave from down the hall
With sue in his mouth

Zombie hearts are cold.
Wet flesh for which they moan is
Now leaving my bones.

There are three, but I doubt they're that good. Hope they're entertaining to someone though! ^_^
~Bree

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#557 posted by Takuan, May 28, 2009 10:48 PM

...so it IS true, zombies make ANYTHING better.

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Zombies attack nature commune
They eat all the hippie Braaaaaiiiiinnnnss
Now they crave our Graaaaiiiiiinnnss

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#559 posted by Laroquod, May 29, 2009 3:47 AM

Vague datelessness, bah!
Nowhere to look for results......
I win kthxbye.

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#560 posted by Anonymous, May 29, 2009 10:24 AM

im a zombie on your lawn, im a zombie on your lawn, im a zombie on ur lawn, and i want your brains

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#561 posted by Anonymous, May 29, 2009 11:53 AM

A couple more, even if it's "too late"

shambling rotting flesh
insatiable hunger
what does it want?...braaains!

dead leaves stagger down
rotting flesh...upon the ground
chill winds bring their moans

craig6671

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Wrote haiku, sooo fun...
Minimalism's awesome!
Wrote a hundred more.

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#563 posted by Eulipian, May 29, 2009 2:02 PM

Contest is finished.
Brain still craving haiku.
Stop me PLEASE, Zombie.

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Son wrote a Haiku
Nine year old boy wants to win
No results are in

Plants versus Zombies
All the boy can think about
Please be patient, son

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#565 posted by necorium, June 1, 2009 2:38 AM

so... who won?? i keep checking back but no news :P

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#566 posted by nosehat, June 1, 2009 2:47 AM

@#565 Necorium:

so... who won?? i keep checking back but no news :P

Don't hold your breath. I'm still waiting to see who won this contest.

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#567 posted by circa71, June 1, 2009 6:37 AM

wassup any winners?

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#568 posted by vekuum, June 2, 2009 3:25 PM

Sorry, forgot to log in. /facepalm.
Anyway- I won! I don't know which one it was, but mine were 169, 175, 183, 212, 215, and 218.

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#569 posted by Anonymous, June 2, 2009 4:18 PM

Hiding lonely fear
Is there anyone alive?
Waking walking dead

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#570 posted by Anonymous, June 29, 2009 3:04 PM

Pretty in pink
Evil zombies in your garden
Time for bed

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I am veg zombie
I can't eat your relatives
I want to eat GRRRRAAAAINNNSSS!

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