Carb overload: Bread Bowl Pasta

Carbsandcarbs Today during our Make editorial conference call Collin Cunningham told me that he had just gotten this flier for a pasta-filled bread bowl. I asked him to take a picture so I could share it.

Collin said, "Just in time for summer … though I may hold out for the bread-bread bowl. That 'rising-heat' effect on the Domino's Flash is making me sleepy already :("


Discussion

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Sadly, their nutrition facts page seems to omit the pastas, so it's not possible to judge just how much of a "carb overload" they present.

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I am so glad you called this out. This was in our Sunday paper, and my mouth dropped, and I handed it wordlessly to my wife, who goggled, too. "Fat? Get fatter! Now! Now! Now! Cheaply! Now!"

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#3 posted by Anonymous, May 19, 2009 11:13 AM

Still, someone pointed out: Don't most people at restaurants partake of bread before the main of pasta?

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I looked at this same flyer for a minute and felt kind of ill.

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"Hmmmm, what cheap filler can we use instead of pizza toppings? How about pasta? It's got a really great profit margin."

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Holy hell, we kept seeing ads for these on TV… So the other night it was too rainy to walk to a nice restaurant like we were planning to do, so the new plan was eff it, let's order up a couple of pasta-pizzas…

Long story short, they're the exact disgusting:delicious ratio that you'd expect (about 4:5)… I ate very nearly the whole thing, put the last few bites in the fridge, but was so disgusted I figured I'd never get around to eating it. Next day around 10a, I see it in the fridge and my stomach starts to churn. Then by about 12p, it was in the toaster oven along with the order of breadsticks that I added to get up to the min delivery requirement.

It's a wild ride!

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Edible lottery tickets

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Waiting of the SUPREME version- pizza crust filled with pasta, topped with fried rice, smothered in cheese fries, sealed with a flaky pie crust.

Served with one choice of two sides- funyuns, cornbread, mac and cheese, corn on the cob, or chicken skin.

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I've been noticing alot of tortellini pizzas being peddled around lately as well. Gastro intestinal disturbances never tasted so good. And for dessert, how 'bout a pizza cone. http://www.channelone.com/img/2008/07/pizza_cone_a.jpg

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I don't know why I wanted one so much. But I love pasta, and I love bread. I think I was imagining the bread bowls at Panara or whatever; the ones with soup, they're delicious. But this was an abomination. My hand was greasy just from carrying the box upstairs.

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#12 posted by Anonymous, May 19, 2009 11:43 AM

They're running a ton of TV ads for this here in Austin TX as well. Yuck.

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In a moment of "oh shit, it's 6pm and I haven't made dinner and the kids are starving" I ordered two of these for delivery.

I took one bite and couldn't eat any more, but my kids ate them, of course. Bread, covered in chicken, cheese, RILLY RILLY SWEET tomato sauce, and pasta.

The bread has this WEIRD salty/buttery topping on it that made my kids turn up their noses, so they just ate the pasta part, with a side of sliced cucumbers and carrots to balance the meal.

If the bread weren't so greasy and covered with that odd topping, it wouldn't be so bad.

I'm reading David Kessler's "The End of Overeating" right now, and I couldn't stop thinking about the book. Needless to say, we're not getting it again.

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You know what would make this even better? Mixing it with a KFC Famous Bowl covered in gravy.

I don't mean to be judgmental but if you eat this crap you're abusing yourself just as much as if you drink to excess, do hardcore drugs or sleep around without using protection. It's just one more way to slowly kill yourself.

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at first domino's had ethical problems testing these creations on people. but now they see humans for what they are, sauce and cheese eating beasts.

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Combine this with the Bacon Explosion, that would be one hell of a mashup.

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#17 posted by Anonymous, May 19, 2009 12:16 PM

This basically IS a bread-bread bowl. We got one of these for free the day they first started giving them out, and it's basically 80% bread. We got really tired of eating them at the end.

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#18 posted by afo, May 19, 2009 12:23 PM

"you want fries or baked potato with that?"

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I've been disgusted by these for over a week now.
Unicorn chaser (preferably nicely BBQ'd unicorn, to wash the taste out of my mouth - hell, hot unicorn piss would take the theoretical taste of this right out of my mouth, I'm not picky), please.

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#20 posted by a_user, May 19, 2009 12:25 PM

you know that Italians have this stereotype of dumb foreigners eating bread with pasta.

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#21 posted by Anonymous, May 19, 2009 12:30 PM

I can't vouch for whether or not the Domino's incarnation is at all good, but there's an independent pizza joint in Alexandria, VA that serves pastas on top of a pizza crust. I liked 'em just fine, but I'm a glutton for carbs. There's probably a trick to balancing out the sauce amount and viscosity to account for the extra starch running around in the thing.

Oh, and there's also the trick of not assuming it's a single serving...

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I can see the downside, but sometimes crappy food is just so GOOD. Like a deep dish with extra cheese from UNO (note: I do not live in a place with REAL Chicago pizza, so please, don't go there...)

And as a side note I think REAL eggs benedict is probably worse for you than most take out.

2 eggs, canadian bacon/ham, 2 english muffins, and the sauce: 1 stick butter, 3 egg yolks and some lemon.... delicious!

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Bread & pasta? Feh. Right now I'm eating chicken-fried steak.

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#24 posted by mdh, May 19, 2009 12:46 PM

The historical use of bread as bowls (boules, that you can get at the bakery and fashion into bowls yourself) is the origin of the phrase "upper crust". Differentiating between those that ate the upper crust at the serving table, and the servants in the kitchen who proceeded to eat the leftovers (the lower crust, the bowl itself) after their employers had retired for the evening.

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As soon as I saw the ads, I knew it was carb-ugly, and high profit margin, but WOW IS IT EVER UGLY!

Dominos Bread Bowl Pastas average over 700 calories and 19%-32% of your carbs for the day PER SERVING and they count two servings per bowl.

YumYucky.com dutifully inquired and got a PDF of the new menu items' nutritional information. (Thanks Josie!)

http://www.yumyucky.com/yumyucky/2009/04/feed-your-fat-cells-dominos-pasta-bread-bowls-.html

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@XENI:

Those things aren't why people are fat. It's the quantity of those things...

The vilification of seemingly arbitrary indulgences smacks of certain fundamentalist religions. Everything in moderation....

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Mmmmm, add breadsticks and a cinnabun for the trifecta!

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#28 posted by ErikO23, May 19, 2009 1:04 PM

on behalf of the Italians

FACEPALM

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Having lived in Italy, yes you do eat bread before pasta. However, since the portions are small, and the ingredients are fresh the net impact is relatively small.


THOSE Things are d)none of the above, made to the lowest common denominator, designed to hit your eat buttons.

Xeni, this is why you're fat.

http://www.ers.usda.gov/publications/FoodReview/DEC2002/frvol25i3a.pdf

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#30 posted by Talia, May 19, 2009 1:19 PM

Now that there's pasta pizza, can this be far behind?

http://www.nbc.com/Saturday_Night_Live/video/clips/taco-town/229053/

In all seriousness, looks good to me, if mega-heart-attacky.

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When I saw these on TV...they have commercials for them around the clock...I thought I might rather eat those subs that those Domino's kids on YouTube got busted for molesting.

Sort of a toss-up there.

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#32 posted by EH, May 19, 2009 2:15 PM

We take eighteen ounces of sizzling ground beef, and soak it in rich, creamery butter, then we top it off with bacon, ham, and a fried egg. We call it the Good Morning Burger.

And yeah, Taco Town.

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#33 posted by apoxia, May 19, 2009 2:16 PM

I wonder if hyper advertising for these modern junk foods serves to destroy people's ability to make sensible choices about food selection. For example: I know that I should eat a portion of carbohydrate with each meal, and I know that pasta in a bread bowl is a bad idea. If I didn't know about the amounts of protein, vegetables and carbs I should eat, would I have no problem eating a pasta bread bowl and actually think it was acceptable to eat on a regular basis?

Luckily in New Zealand we're several years behind US junk food trends so hopefully this monstrosity will never make it to our shores.

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#34 posted by Anonymous, May 19, 2009 2:25 PM

The comment that the Bread Bowl Pastas have 700 calories is false. The bowl alone has 770, and the pasta and stuff in it goes from 580-600 depending on which one you get.

And to the person who said, "The bread has this WEIRD salty/buttery topping" that's just butter substitute and the seasoning they use for the breadsticks.

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What? I guess I'm in the minority here, but I happen to *need* calories to fund my day to day activities such as riding to work, climbing, thinking, fucking etc., The only problem I see with this is that it's a product of the Domino's corporation.
1300 calories worth of bread and pasta for $6? Bring it on!

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#36 posted by Anonymous, May 19, 2009 2:45 PM

AWWWWW man, I can't wait to try this, you guys are nuts this looks like the bee's knees.

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#37 posted by Talia, May 19, 2009 2:57 PM

YOu probably dont need the 93048309843 grams of saturated fat that come with those there calories tho. No one does :p

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#38 posted by karrock, May 19, 2009 3:11 PM

#34 -- Apparently you didn't really read my post. Multiply that number by TWO and that's the calories in a Bread Bowl Pasta.

Nutritional Information PDF came from Dominos:
http://www.yumyucky.com/All%20Pasta%20Combined.pdf

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Oh, man! These would be great deep-fried!

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#40 posted by woid, May 19, 2009 5:08 PM

Citizens of the Colbert Nation knew this was coming.

Back in February, Stephen, talking about the financial troubles of the Sbarro chain, told them to cut costs by eliminating cheese and tomatoes, and rolling out the "Crust Lover's Pizza":

"A thick crust pizza topped with crusty crust, with crust baked right into the crust! Mmmm! More crust, please!"

Don't know if Sbarro followed the orders... but evidently Domino's did.

Video at http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/219666/february-24-2009/bears---balls---company-bailouts

(Don't know if it was Comedy Central or me, but the video took forever to load. And then you have to watch an ad.)

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#41 posted by 13tales, May 19, 2009 5:10 PM

I'm not saying that those Dominos things AREN'T a hideous dietary abomination in the sight of all, but when did we get convinced that "carbs" are problem with our modern (western) diet?
I live in Japan. People here eat rice, rice, rice, and more rice. Then they finish up with another helping of rice. I teach, and near-all of my kids eat rice for breakfast (with miso soup - no sugary cereal for most of 'em) or toast. School lunches almost always come with a large helping of rice AND a piece of bread - and when there's no rice, there are noodles. Then these kids go home and have rice at dinner. You know what? Most of 'em are built like greyhounds, and most Japanese people (despite subsisting largely on carbs) tend to be built lean and wiry (not much joy here if you like your women/men curvy, sadly). A diet low in salt, sugar, and saturated fat, sensible portion sizes, and exercise - ZOMG!!1 WHO KNEW!?!
In contrast, I visited the US for the first time the other week, and stayed with a friend in Baltimore. I couldn't believe my senses - I've never seen portions so huge, food so sugary, salty and dripping with fat, and cities (+ public transport) so totally hostile to a pedestrian. I don't think I walked anywhere the whole time I was there. Americans (and to a lesser extent other western cultures) - it's like your lifestyle is TARGETED towards creating obesity.
If I were ever to stay in the US long-term, I'd have to change my eating habits. Nearly a year in Japan has conditioned me to clean the plate when I eat at a restaurant, and there's no way I could do that in some parts the US and maintain reasonable health. It's no surprise to me that nearly every vaguely lean and healthy seeming person I ate with at a restaurant while there never finished their meal and always asked for a box.

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Apoxia #33 -- I don't know about New Zealand, but this thing has already crossed the Pacific. Here's the Taiwanese version.

This is a new product line that was launched by a local bakery franchise a few months ago.

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#43 posted by Anonymous, May 19, 2009 6:55 PM

This wasn't as bad as I thought. Not as good as Pizza Hut pasta (honestly those are solid pastas for the price and you can get a few meals out of one order), but a good filling meal.

One of those is probably healthier than a small cheese pizza depending on which pasta you choose.

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#44 posted by Talia, May 19, 2009 7:16 PM

Miso soup for breakfast sounds like heaven to me.

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#45 posted by Takuan, May 19, 2009 7:22 PM

the traditional Japanese diet carries risk as well as advantage. All that pickling and salt doesn't help their stomach cancer stats. There's plenty of fast food garbage there too.

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#46 posted by grimc, May 19, 2009 7:24 PM

@apoxia

I wonder if hyper advertising for these modern junk foods serves to destroy people's ability to make sensible choices about food selection.

I would blame stupider people before I blamed sneakier advertising.

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#47 posted by Ocker3, May 19, 2009 7:28 PM

Ripoff! I've been putting pasta (with a tomato-based sauce) on bread for years now. And yes, I know it's a carbfest, but if you use the right type of bread and pasta, it's damn tasty.

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#48 posted by Drulen, May 19, 2009 7:48 PM


I beg your indulgence before I begin,but... This is a company owned by Tom Monaghan, a man who has dedicated his life and untold millions to denying a woman's right to have a choice in what happens to her body. Your pizza dollars are fighting the "good fight" against against women. I didn't see any references to him by anyone and just had to bring it up and see what anyone has to say.

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#49 posted by grimc, May 19, 2009 7:52 PM

@drulen

Monaghan sold Domino's in the late 90s.

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#50 posted by Anonymous, May 19, 2009 8:24 PM

#38: I was working off the numbers from the company to it's employees, which had each as a single serving. There has been some confusion at the store level about that, and if I was wrong, I am sorry since I only wanted to reinforce your point, that the bread bowl was a hot and fresh heart attack :)

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#51 posted by Anonymous, May 19, 2009 8:49 PM

God, I hate to keep posting like this, but I don't want to get fired. Still, it is true that Tom no longer has any say in the company. The guys in charge are still donkeys with top hats, but the important thing is that guys like me work there.

We are just regular people with families to support and homes to pay off. We work (mostly) for local owners. I am not a nameless, faceless corporation. I am a guy with car payments, rent, a blown out back. I have two cats to support, and they poop way too much. I'd love to get more education and a better job, but my creditors have other ideas.

Christ, guys, sure I work for Domino's, but I CARE. I care about the product I put out, I care about the service I give, I care about the job I do. As an old boss of mine once said, "If you can't care about a crappy job, how the hell will you ever care about a good one?"

He was an ex marine, so I didn't question him since he could kick my butt.

I am kicking my own ass every day to do the best damn job I can, not for Domino's, cause they can S my D. I am doing it because I have a level of self respect that requires me to do no less.

I know that there are other people like me in the company. Hate Domino's if you will, but please understand that there are anonymous guys like me busting their asses every day trying like hell do the best job they can, cause we have bills to pay and self respect to uphold.

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#52 posted by apoxia, May 19, 2009 9:20 PM

@ #51

What the H was that comment about? How does you not defending your workplace mean you'll get fired? Why do you feel you need to stand up for Domino's workers? No-one here has said a word against the workers. At least in New Zealand the fast food companies are showing increased profits while everyone is losing money. McD's is planning on setting up 26 more restaurants here (that's a lot in a country of 4 million people).

And that quote: "If you can't care about a crappy job, how the hell will you ever care about a good one?" What's that about? It doesn't make sense. Why would not caring about a crappy job mean that you can't appreciate a good one?? Strange.

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#53 posted by 13tales, May 19, 2009 9:31 PM

@45

Fair point Takuan. Still, the body types you see really speak for themselves though.

I taught a class an hour or two ago, and saw one of my kids stretching with his arms above his head - his t-shirt came up a little, and the kid has a six pack for F's sake! An eleven year old kid who doesn't go to the gym and I'm certain hasn't learned to obsess over his body yet, and he's lean and muscled as all get out.

My point though, was that whatever the fad diet of the day (high protein, low carb, whatever), it's just that - a fad. Demonising a particular macronutrient as though it's the shining key to health is false and unhelpful. It only benefits those selling low-carb diet foods. There's absolutely zero mystery as to why America (and western countries) have these health issues.

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#54 posted by Takuan, May 19, 2009 9:39 PM

evolution is always working. Quicker than you think too.

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#55 posted by Takuan, May 19, 2009 10:00 PM

hmmm...now I recall reading about a Japanese person's return to Japan after a long sojourn in a poorer part of South East Asia. At least, I think he was Japanese, might have been an acclimatized foreigner. He wrote of how he almost burst into tears with shame at a welcome home dinner with friends. They had gone for ramen, nothing special, but he was emotionally overwhelmed when the food came. The single bowl before each of them was as much as the family he had stayed with would have shared all among themselves. All relative.

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Adam,

with these guys everything is blog-worthy. Just read and learn, my man...

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@41 13TALES: agree completely

There are worse things to worry about here: 11g of saturated fat, 0.5g trans fat, and 1070mg of sodium (x2 for one bowl).

but the bread to pasta ratio is still hilarious.

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Awwww, you don't know what you're missing. I tried one and LOVED it. It's a dollar off if you order online, and, where I live, it comes in about 11 minutes. It rocks. Neener, neener, neener.

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@51: "If you can't care about a crappy job, how the hell will you ever care about a good one?"

Yeah, that makes no sense at all. I find it much easier to care about a meaningful job than a crappy one. Your point is therefore lost on me.

I've lived in a variety of towns/cities, and Dominoes has always been my absolute last resort, mostly based on quality/price. Any local pizza place that uses real ingredients and delivers late will likely blow them away. Dominoes strong anti-choice funding is a secondary, but meaningful, deterrent.

#51 Anonymous might genuinely be an earnest Dominoes employee somewhere, but I personally find it much more amusing to imagine that he is Tom Monaghan himself, attempting to drum up business for his anti-choice money-maker through sly web 2.0 marketing strategies. Good try, Tom. =D

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@59:

a) The crappy job comment makes perfect sense. It's called taking pride in your work, no matter what you do.

b) You do realize that Monaghan sold the entire Domino's Pizza empire to Bain Capital Inc. in 1998, right? (This means that he doesn't benefit from Domino's making a profit these days.)

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I'm so glad that other people have noticed the carb overload aspect of this product. My husband and I have been laughing about these bread bowls for a few weeks now.

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#62 posted by dd528, May 20, 2009 8:51 AM

I don't think they make these in the UK. The best we get is those pizzas with a base, then sauce, then a base, then sauce and topping above that.

Anyway, this pizza-pasta-bowl thing looks alright to me. If they start selling them here I'd probably try one, if Dominos wasn't so damn expensive that is.

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#63 posted by Anonymous, May 20, 2009 10:54 AM

We must be absolutely terrified at all times at anything that is not raw, leafy greens that provide 100% of all our vitamins and minerals in every bite or else anything else we eat will give us cancer, heart disease, diabetes, and rabies the second we put it in our mouths!


AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

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I am pleased to find that some commenters have already pointed out the likely ridiculous profit margins this thing almost assuredly has.

This is less of a product of "hmmm, Americans are fat, how can we play to that" and more of a product of "hmmm, bread and pasta cost us pennies compared to actual toppings and we can charge a metric ass load for them comparatively. I know, lets combine them!"

Any industry insiders have some insights into what those margins are likely to be?

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#65 posted by rmwb, May 21, 2009 12:22 AM

in Australia, the bowl is made from puff pastry:
http://www.dominos.com.au/menu/pastasandsalads/

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Anyone near Alexandria, VA should probably go for Generous George's instead...no healthier, but way more fun: http://www.generousgeorge.com/pasta_pies.html

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Someone in some terribly ad agency must have been a fan of Tim Horton's Chili, which "Tastes so good you'll eat the bowl!"

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