Toilet snake bites man's penis
The China Times reported that a snake emerged from a toilet and bit a Taiwanese man on the penis. From Yahoo!:
"As soon as he sat down, he suddenly felt a knife-like pain and reacted instinctively by standing up," the China Times said. "When he looked down, he saw the big snake.""Toilet snake attack: urban legend comes true?"
The 51-year-old man, from Nantou County, was under medical care with minor injuries, a director at Puli Christian Hospital said.
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Note: "As soon as he sat down..." Only when required.
I understand this is a portent of Good Luck in Asia.
Oh dear. That is just horrifying. First the story about spiders that can come back to life after we drown them and flush them down the toilet...but now toilet snakes?! Hehehehe...toilet snakes. ^_^
Snake? Fugedaboutit, that's nothin'. In New York we got alligators! Fuckin' alligators I'm tellin' ya. Take a chunk outa your ass you're not quick. Snake? Puhleeze. Make a strap outa that little fuck to go on my suitcase. You know what that's made outa don't ya? That's right, you got it.
What's next? "Man Bites Toilet Snake?"
My mortal enemy is the rat snake.
Whip that out she said she never seen snakes on a plane!
"When he looked down, he saw the big snake. Also, there was a reptile dangling from his crotch."
I once saw a unicorn chaser with a rat snake skewered on its horn, chomping on a NYC toilet gator.
"Minor injuries?"
There are no "minor" injuries to your snake-bitten penis!
Good luck toilet training your young ones now!
Could the Angel Lap Pillow have done anything to prevent this?
Fortunately Samuel L Jackson heard screaming and arrived just in time to taser the actual snake, freeing the trouser snake.
Bartender, give me a double scotch, neat, and a Unicorn chaser.
Answers the question why we don't sit to pee.
"Minor" injuries: best insult added to injury I've seen :)
And to think I actually mocked that scene from "Snakes on a Plane."
Sounds more like the "I need to come up with a story that explains to my wife why I have bite marks on my penis" conundrum.
Now that I am aware that this can actually happen, I'm going all diaper, all the time. It's the only way to be sure...
This story will be sufficent to horribly traumatize and terrorize all of the snake fearing people I know
Win to Tharklord on this one. :D
All I can think of is that infamous line from Snakes on a Plane: "F##K snake! Get off my dick!"
...The good news is that the man's penis is still attached. The bad news is that he now can pee on the guys standing next to him without having to turn either left or right.
I've had it with these monkey-fighting snakes on this monday-to-friday penis.
ToiletSnake - the new LOLCat?
i can has testikuls?
I heard about something like this on the radio once when I was little, it having happened in Texas evidently, and thus learned to pee standing up. My mother tried to convince me that it only happened in places with outhouses/plumbing inferior to ours and that only boys can pee standing up.
I am proud to have proved her wrong on the second point. Seriously though- I used to have toilet-snake nightmares! But all is well, because I am now a superwoman.
@teller, this being china, it's reasonable to assume that the guy was squatting, rather than sitting. they use a design more hazardous in this way, so to say, you see :)
I have had a fear of a snake coming up the toilet since I was just a lad. How terrible.
Actually, from my experience with rural Taiwan, I'd say there's a 50-50 chance this guy was using a squat toilet. You see both types.
And #28, careful with your "this being China". Dem's fightin' words to most Taiwanese people.
I see that most of the "toilet snake" jokes have already been made, so GOOD JORB to the posters.
Strangely enough, I catalog this story under "good news". In the great fight of Humans VS The Rest Of The Planet, it looks like Earth still has some tricks up the sleeve.
Makes me think of this classic video...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KRPWcj9-fiM
Also, #24: LLLLL OOOOOO LLLLLL.
I'm calling it "bogus". Noah Lieske
The report says he sat down. Why do we insist that it's wrong, and he actually squatted?
I think that if he *had* actually used a squat toilet, he wouldn't have been bitten. The snake is down there getting a nice cool drink, and suddenly, it's escape route is blocked by this man's backside. If I was the snake, I'll bite him too.
OTOH, if it was a squat toilet, there would have been a large gap. The snake would have quietly escaped without him realizing it was there at all. Who knows how often this has happens. As squat toilets gets replaced with seating ones all over Asia, we can expect more snake bites. And hemorrhoids.