Free pre-paid Cremation!
Few things are as exciting as receiving a mailer offering a free pre-paid cremation. Imagine my disappointment, however, to open the envelope and discover that the cremation service actually costs money.
It looks like other people have been burned by this cremation offer, too.
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That just burns me up.
Ash holes.
What an inflammatory post.
[more seriously, how do the words "free" and "pre-paid" belong in the same sentence? Very odd.]
Isn't "Free Pre-Paid" a contradiction?
Free cremation paperwork? Prepaid envelope?
How dishonest. If they want to sell you something, they should tell you the whole of cost.
Also, someone needs to be fired for this. This isn't like coffin at the wrong time. I can't believe people try to urn money this way.
Yes, I am having fun. Really.
"Free pre-paid"? Isn't that a contradiction? I mean, somebody paid for it, thus the "pre" in "pre-paid."
I say mark it "Return to Cinder"
So do you just shove your loved one's corpse in the pre-paid envelope like that "Cash4Gold" service?
I can imagine the disappointment people have over this. I'm always eagerly scanning spam letters I get hoping to find a free way of disposing of my remains after I die.
Ordinarily you wouldn't advertise your mail bomb right there on the envelope like that.
Well, yeah. Gotta pay the carbon tax.
Brainspore@9: Nah. You have to take 'em down to the post-mortem office.
It's the details about the prepaid cremation that are free (and possibly the exclamation mark).
And, yes, I do work in marketing. I have a terrible karma debt to pay off.
DONNELLY:
"However, we must of course transmit the remains to you in a receptacle."
WALTER:
"Just because we're bereaved doesn't mean we're saps!"
(1) Have a nice barbeque. Invite friends. Use charcoal.
(2) Fill envelope with charcoal ashes. (Wait for fire to burn out first.)
(3) Mail back to sender.
(4) WIN!
The only place false advertising should go is in the circular file cabinet.
This is a dead issue. I make no bones about it.
Typical... the details are buried.
Well now, hold on. It's not necessarily a contradiction. Maybe they let you come work at the crematoritum, a free "working vacation," like staying at a dude ranch. And they give you, the crem-noob, the ones that are pre-paid, because if something goes horribly awry, who cares? They've already got their money.
This offer expired when Ford Motor Company cancelled the Pinto, oh so many years ago.
I've heard of people taping bricks to prepaid mailers, but this could give the postal service a whole new reason to go postal.
Now if the envelope just had a book of matches in it . . . .
This kind of practice needs to stop. Action must be taken immediately. Someone needs to light a fire under the Better Business Bureau.
Send this offer to Baba Davender Kumar Ghai in England. Free trumps open-air any day.
How long would it take to urn enough to pay for it?
That just fries my ass.