Your Day Can't Possibly Be as Bad as Richard Simmons' Day.

Richard Simmons flips out. Warning: this video contains cussin', and large doses of a sometimes-scantily-clad Richard Simmons (Thanks, Richard Metzger).

[#1 posted by Anonymous, April 24, 2009 12:54 PM]

need a unicorn- stat!!!

[#2 posted by Anonymous, April 24, 2009 12:56 PM]

what a spaz - I always knew no one could be that happy all the time - Santa is probably an achohlic too:(

[#3 posted by IamInnocent, April 24, 2009 12:57 PM]

OMG, in the last seconds we see that he could have been a great Joker!

I'd love to see a reel of one celebrity who was always pleasant and considerate to his/her co-workers for a change: that would be a shocker.

[#4 posted by stridulate, April 24, 2009 1:02 PM]

good lord that is the creepiest thing i have ever viewed! *cringes*
wheres the unicorn chaser? STAT!

[#5 posted by Phikus, April 24, 2009 1:09 PM]

Why can't the cops taser the fuck out of this guy? I'd pay good money to see that.

[#6 posted by noen, April 24, 2009 1:12 PM]

Innocent - Expecting people who are driven to seek celebrity to be anything other than complete narcissists to expecting a bit much.

[#7 posted by Takuan, April 24, 2009 1:17 PM]

actually, the personality revealed ranks on the better side of celebrity (in my experience).

[#8 posted by Ratdog, April 24, 2009 1:18 PM]

Yeah,

I would like a unicorn chaser after watching this.

[#9 posted by Teller, April 24, 2009 1:18 PM]

Everybody stop everything!
He does the best Rona Barrett ever.
Okay, carry on.

[#10 posted by knodi, April 24, 2009 1:56 PM]

You know what's really, truly horrifying? Somebody had actually amassed a large collection of "richard simmons unplugged", and then combed through all of it and pieced together this highlight reel.

There's a lot of implied work behind this clip reel, and I'm terrified of the mind that could have done it.

[#11 posted by Ernunnos, April 24, 2009 2:02 PM]

I'll be in my bunker. Let me know when it's safe.

[#12 posted by Merrik, April 24, 2009 2:08 PM]

OMG my eyes.
Where the heck is my unicorn?!

[#13 posted by Anonymous, April 24, 2009 2:29 PM]

That was adorable.

[#14 posted by Captain Squiffy, April 24, 2009 2:35 PM]

The good Cap'n isn't sleeping well tonight. That was more fearsome than all the swabbies in Davy Jones' locker.

Squiff

[#15 posted by Johnny Cat, April 24, 2009 2:40 PM]

The random insertion of Donahue and the Boyz was the icing on that surreal, dripping cake.

[#16 posted by jso, April 24, 2009 2:41 PM]

I'm surprised by all the comments. I thought this was pretty funny! Then again, I don't see what people find unnerving about him.

[#17 posted by IamInnocent, April 24, 2009 2:46 PM]

Noen, Tak,

I've known Jayne Heitmeyer on the sets of "Earth: the Final Conflict." and I tried to describe how a down to Earth (suitably...) a person she was but I sound like a total fan each time...

[#18 posted by Takuan, April 24, 2009 2:56 PM]

oh, exceptions of course, I was speaking of disappointing averages.

[#19 posted by andyhavens, April 24, 2009 3:26 PM]

good things... good things... I come here for good things...

this makes me sad and angry on some weird, new level.

[#20 posted by Anonymous, April 24, 2009 3:33 PM]

Holy batshit, he *is* crazy. Sometimes I wish one could "unsee" things we've seen.

[#21 posted by Ratdog, April 24, 2009 3:53 PM]

The ending is what I find disturbing, that and when he is singing and pulling up his skirt.

[#22 posted by cycle23, April 24, 2009 3:58 PM]

A friend once got on a plane and Richard Simmons boarded and proceeded to berate her for eating a slice of pizza and was generally a rude dick to everyone on the plane.

But man, he's one good fuck.

[#23 posted by Phikus, April 24, 2009 4:07 PM]

@20: Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww! Just when I thought it couldn't get worse...

There aren't enough unicorns in the multiverse.

[#24 posted by Anonymous, April 24, 2009 4:19 PM]

I CAN'T UNSEE IT!

[#25 posted by Ratdog, April 24, 2009 5:32 PM]

Boing Boing you guys are sick. You show us this, and then fail to give us a unicorn.

Damn your eyes!!!

[#26 posted by Anonymous, April 24, 2009 5:41 PM]

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot?!!!

[#27 posted by Takuan, April 24, 2009 5:56 PM]

uh, I found a mummified rat today, does that count?

[#28 posted by Anonymous, April 24, 2009 6:07 PM]

...

...

... there's no words there.

[#29 posted by Anonymous, April 24, 2009 6:14 PM]

This would have been funny if I had not watched Winnebago Man earlier. Simmons has nothing on that guy.

[#30 posted by darren, April 24, 2009 7:52 PM]

I don't get it.

So, was Richard Simmons a struggling, unfunny late-night comedian before he struck gold with his exercise home-video shtick, or was it the other way around?

These clips obviously pre-date home video, but why would anyone put Richard Simmons on TV before he way famous?

[#31 posted by misterfricative, April 24, 2009 8:13 PM]

Actually, I think it's good to know that there's a real human being inside Richard Simmons after all. That's not to say I'd want to be strapped in next to him on a long haul flight, but hey, the guy's a pro -- and some of that stuff was really pretty funny.

[#32 posted by dhalgren, April 24, 2009 9:52 PM]

Richard Simmons has been famous for a long long long time. He is much younger in these clips and somewhat funny when cursing. Back then he wasn't Mr. Creepy Freaky like he is now. Now that he is older, lots older, still wearing the stupid shorts and the tank top with the creepy 'Wall of Sound' Phil Specter hair, he is Kinko the Clown creepy lock your kids safely in the house creepy. Heck I'll lock myself in my house if he's around now.

Back then though, he was the male Oprah self-help guru to middle age fat America. My mom loved him. Now could he just please go away.

I'll have to add 10 more drinks on top of my usual heavy drinking tonight to wash that away.

[#33 posted by jimh, April 24, 2009 10:14 PM]

I actually like this side of him more than anything I've seen before. After watching this, I at least get the impression that he's actually a human being.

[#34 posted by jimh, April 24, 2009 10:17 PM]

Ooops, misterfricative, sorry about almost exactly duping your comment! What you said...

[#35 posted by Anonymous, April 24, 2009 10:30 PM]

I love him. He was always great on Stern too.

[#36 posted by mr_josh, April 25, 2009 12:27 AM]

@33:

I agree! I thought that was actually kind of endearing. I thought it was going to be Richard Simmons going all Bill O'Reilly on some poor stage hand or something.

[#37 posted by Anonymous, April 25, 2009 12:28 AM]

Back in my roadwarrior days, Richard Simmons and I were waiting for a flight. This was maybe 8 years ago, and I have NO idea what airport.

Up until then, I'd never much cared for Richard Simmons; like many commenting here, I thought he was a bit creepy-weird. But he impressed the hell out of me that day. He checked at the counter, then went over to a quiet spot and sat down and opened up a big portfolio and started working. A few minutes later, a little old lady walked up, and he happily stopped work and chatted with her like they were old friends. Signed something for her, visited until she thanked him and walked away. And he reopened the portfolio and went back to work. Within minutes, two people came up to him and again he immediately closed his work and gave them 100% of his attention.

Again and again for quite a long layover (approx 2 hours) he would no sooner open his portfolio than someone would interrupt. Every freakin' one of those people got 'happy, friendly famous Richard Simmons' to themselves for several minutes. And all I could think was 'and this shit has to be what his life is like EVERY DAY'. I simultaneously gained considerable respect for RS and decided I never ever freakin' wanted to become that famous.

I totally get why some people are put off by Richard S. But y'all need to recalibrate: think of the flamboyant gay-seeming kid from your high school's drama club: Richard just happens to be one that really became famous without polishing that personality into something else. What he is is not an *act* or some gimmick. Richard is like Tiny Tim or Liberace - strange even in comparison to most celebrities. From that angle, I just smiled at this video, 'cuz it showed he's capable of blowing his cool. But I also didn't see a meanness to any of these outbursts. And the warped humor of some of these outtakes just reinforces what I saw that day: a guy that is comfortable with who he is and is generally a mensch.

But hey, draw your own conclusions. Just remember, YMMV.

[#38 posted by Anonymous, April 25, 2009 12:33 AM]

This was something that the general public needed to see. Kathy Lee Gifford doesn't seem so challenging anymore.
This comment made ca. 1989.

[#39 posted by Baldhead, April 25, 2009 5:47 AM]

Just let the man rest in peace!

oh wait he's still alive?

[#40 posted by jackie31337, April 25, 2009 9:26 AM]

Anonymous @37's comment really makes me wonder if Richard Simmons suffers from massive mood swings, or something. I've seen him as a guest on late night talk shows a few times, and sometimes he's the Richard Simmons we all know, but other times he's so bizarre that I wonder if he's on something.

Oh, and has anyone else here seen the Richard Simmons edition of Whose Line is it, Anyway? Judging by what actually made it to air, I would bet there are some pretty interesting outtakes.

[#41 posted by MarkM, April 25, 2009 12:18 PM]

What has been seen cannot be unseen.

[#42 posted by Boba Fett Diop, April 25, 2009 1:42 PM]

Cocaine is a hell of a drug...

[#43 posted by hep cat, April 25, 2009 1:50 PM]

If he did that all the time I'd watch it. It sort of reminded me of Ernie Kovacs somehow. Anything that reminds me of Ernie Kovacs can't be bad.

[#44 posted by ridl, April 25, 2009 10:55 PM]

Who knew?

Positive viewer reaction landed Simmons a recurring role as himself on the American soap opera General Hospital, over a four-year period. -Wikipedia

These clips must be from his early '80s "Emmy Award winning talk show, The Richard Simmons Show, in which he focused on personal health, fitness, exercise, and healthy cooking."

[#45 posted by Anonymous, April 26, 2009 4:58 AM]

Only this:

Young crazy Richard Simmons' gams are SPECTACULAR. Which you'd expect, for a fitness guru, but somehow with RS it was a surprise.

That is all.

[#46 posted by Ratdog, April 27, 2009 7:12 AM]

@44 RIDL

Isn't it amazing the kind of things you can find on Wikipedia?
I was pretty amazed by Mr. T's Wikipedia page.