A Lesson in Proper Dueling Technique
Maggie Koerth-Baker is a guest blogger on Boing Boing. A freelance science and health journalist, Maggie lives in Minneapolis, brain dumps on Twitter, and writes quite often for mental_floss magazine.
It is not as simple as merely being able to count to three paces. Take it from Edward Sackville, Earl of Dorset; a duelist who followed every fine tradition that accompanied killing someone over a bruised ego, came away a winner (i.e., alive), and still managed to end up with a bit of egg on his face.
First: Get Embroiled in a Love Triangle
Lord Edward Bruce loved Venetia Stanley. But so did Edward Sackville. This being 1613, the disagreement quickly turned to impassioned slapping, which was, of course, an invitation to duel to the death.
Second: Evade the Wrath of Frustratingly Anti-Duelist Political Leaders
Besides commissioning a translation of the Bible, England's King James I is also well-known for disliking the "barbaric" traditions of dueling. (Progressive leader, or pansy worried about losing? You be the judge.) In fact, he banned duels in England during his reign, so when Lord Bruce and the Earl of Dorset wanted to fight, they had to take the grudge match overseas. Naturally, they chose Holland.
Third: Die With Dignity
It is a shame pay-per-view was not around in those days, because the fight turned out to be pretty evenly matched, with both men severely wounding each other. Finally, though, the Earl managed to stab Bruce straight through...twice. After that, Bruce was pretty much done for, and the fight broke up so both sides could seek medical attention. But, while the Earl was busy with his wounds, Bruce's doctor attacked him from behind. This was not looked upon kindly by either contestant. At the time, doctors were thought of as little better than maids, and Bruce couldn't bear being avenged by someone so low on the social totem pole. From his deathbed, he demanded that the "rascal" doctor halt the attack and, thus, died honorably...if somewhat pointlessly.
Fourth: Survive, But Wonder Whether Perhaps You Missed a Step Somewhere
Victorious, the Earl of Dorset headed back to England to claim is lady love ... Only to find out that, while he and Bruce had been busy paying attention to each other, Venetia Stanley had gone off and married somebody else.
You can read about three other noteworthy historical duels--involving, respectively, two high-class ladies; the founder of the Royal Society of the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals; and George W. Bush--in my book, Be Amazing
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I am an avid BB reader, and usually like the guest bloggers just fine.
But Maggie, your posts are unusually enjoyable, I've read every one, and done further research based on several of them.
Good choice BB, keep it up!!
I had to take an oath promising never to participate in a duel when I was sworn in as a notary public.
I want to thank Maggie too, for her eclectic posts.
Maggie-
Avast from the Saint Paul side of the river (but I'm writing in Eagan...). I looked up the duel, because I wasn't sure if I have any descent from either of these fellows, and came across a letter that Sackville wrote, later in the year of the duel, describing it. He mentions that himself was almost run through during the duel as well.
By the sounds of it, if the hothead had died in 1613, maybe the civil war would not have unfolded like it did.
Finsbury Park Tube Station has a crossed-flintlocks emblem in the tiles everywhere. Not quite sure what the message is supposed to be.
In college I read a book that was all newspaper articles about dueling in the 1800's. The article that stuck in my mind was called "A sanguinary encounter" Three people decided to duel over a beautiful woman in Jamaica. The weapon was Machetes. All three died and the woman married someone else one or two months later.
"This being 1613, the disagreement quickly turned to impassioned slapping, which was, of course, an invitation to duel to the death."
I am going to start a punk band called "Impassioned Slapping", for no particular reason.
Maggie > Hodgman. Am I right?
Richard Cohen's "By the Sword" is a fine history of swordplay, it you've a taste for many fascinating stories.
#3, that is flattering, but wrong. My bank has the data to prove it. ;)
How can you talk about dueling and not mention Galois?
Also, if wounded during the duel and you still manage to win, like Andrew Jackson, who took a bullet to the lung, swayed and still managed to put a bullet into his opponent's groin, have a snappy comment ready:
[paraphrasing]
"Had he shot me in the head, I still would have been able to hit him"
I'd recommend Alfred Hutton's "The Sword and the Centuries." The Laguarde/Bazanez duel alone is worth the price of the book.
"After the later received a rapier blow which bounced off his head, Bazanez is said to have received an unspecified number of thrusts which, according to the account, 'entered' the body. Despite having lost a good deal of blood, he nevertheless managed to wrestle Lagarde to the ground, whereupon he proceeded to inflict some fourteen stab wounds with his dagger to an area extending from his opponent's neck to his navel. Lagarde meanwhile, entertained himself by biting off a portion of Bazanez's chin and, using the pommel of his weapon, ended the affair by fracturing Bazanez's skull. History concludes, saying that neither combatant managed to inflict any 'serious' injury, and that both recovered from the ordeal."
To be fair, there was also a hat involved.
Lagarde was wont to offer challenges like, "I have reduced your house to ashes, ravished your wife, and hanged your children; and now I have the honour to be your mortal enemy. -Lagarde"
I, for one, find his directness refreshing.
A couple years ago I scanned an old book called Code of Honor; or Rules for the Government of Principals and Seconds in Dueling by John Lyde Wilson. Fun, informative, and possibly useful: http://graymalkn.livejournal.com/80695.html
Another reference along these lines is the Ridley Scott movie, "The Duellists," in which he took great pains to accurately portray the rituals, techniques and politics of the classic (fencing) duel.
I used to live across the street from the colonial cemetery in Savannah, Georgia. Many of the plots were filled with political visionaries, military strategists, and other such men of high esteem that shot each other over petty differences. The "dueling ground" was at one end of the cemetery, presumably for convenient transport of the loser. It is now a shuffleboard court.
It still boggles my mind that ritualized murder was so common—and legal—only a few short generations ago.
Of course some additional research, not mentioned in this devious form of subtle propaganda:
Edward Sackville, Earl of Dorset - completely BALD.
Lord Edward Bruce, - gorgeous flowing locks like those of your average Harlequin romance cover model.
It all fits now. This post is all code for "the hairless ones will show no mercy, we will kill you all one by one, hand to hand if need be".
Another chilling posting by Ms. Koerth-Baker (if that is indeed her true identity). Clearly an avowed hairist extremist.
I recommend this read:
http://www.amazon.com/Duel-History-Duelling-Robert-Baldick/dp/0600328376
I used to think it would be nice to be able to duel when sufficiently provoked (nothing more satisfying than killing a bully), but I have become convinced that if duels are commonplace, most will be excuses for ordinary assassinations and treachery. Keeping them illegal means the really dirty ones can`t get lost in the herd (if they were legal) since SOMEONE always talks. I`m also pretty sure a great many historically famous duels weren`t particularly honorable or pretty. Stories get trimmed to sell over time.
''I thoroughly disapprove of duels. If a man should challenge me, I would take him kindly and forgivingly by the hand and lead him to a quiet place and kill him.''
--Mark Twain
http://www.readbookonline.net/readOnLine/851/
@ 15. It's all coming together! The chimp, the mice and now this! As much as I love your posts, Maggie, your perverted view upon all matters trichological has to stop.
The historical record doesn't support that Venetia Stanley (who was 12 at the time of this duel -- born in December of 1600) could have been the cause of it. However, she did apparently go to London for Princess Elizabeth's wedding in February of 1613, and she was a notorious society beauty later in the decade. This isn't to say that she wasn't an object of interest at a very young age, only that 12 is pushing it for grown men to be dueling over her favors.
She didn't "marry someone else" (Kenelm Digby) until the mid-1620s, and in fact, it's almost impossible to tell which Sackville, if any, she was involved with. Aubrey's Brief Lives describes her and Digby as having dinner every year with her ex-lover, but it seems nearly impossible based on issues like the death of the Sackville it was supposed to have been, as well as Digby's travel schedule, etc etc. Venetia herself died young, and mysteriously; much of Aubrey's information about her, beyond his information about her grave (destroyed in the Great Fire), is incorrect.
I think the issue is that, with the exception of the Overbury murder, pretty much any "court of James I scandal involving a young noblewoman" is automatically assumed to have been related to Venetia Stanley, even if the historical record and her age at the time don't quite support the assertion.
-- M.E. Williams
I love Maggie. Please let her stay.
...well...we do outnumber her...
Sigh. How many times has my Army of Doom captured some hapless hero and brought him to me (rather like a cat with a rodent, actually; distasteful, but they mean well), whereupon the prisoner demands I fight him in 'honourable combat' or some other version of the same?
It boggles the mind. Look, Sir Whatever of Wherever, you were captured. You already lost. You are, essentially, already dead. So why on earth would I allow you the opportunity to cut me in half with that humping great longsword my men have already taken away from you?
Uh,pardon my vent. Like #21, I also hold Maggie near to my blackened, shrivelled heart.
I n-teenth also nominate Maggie to be tied to a chair in front of her computer for all of our continued enjoyment! ;)
http://www.maakies.com/archive/index.html
Remember kids, never ISSUE a dueling challenge.
If you RECEIVE a challenge, you have the right of the Choice of Weapons.
I always chose wet noodles to the death at 50 paces, but a less absurdist choice would be for the duelists to bound at their left wrists and use whips on each other until death or capitulation.
////Proper dueling was taught to me by Prussian grandfather who had an awesome dueling scar on his cheekbone.
Bound at both wrists back to back. Beverages are allowed, but no food. First one to starve loses.