Unicorn Chaser

And now, we pause for a unicorn moment. Nothing banishes the retina-scarring horror of scutigera coleoptrata like amateur YouTube video homages to the beauty of unicorns.

[#1 posted by Antinous / Moderator, April 15, 2009 4:36 PM]

Is that the Ford of Bruinen? No wonder the ulairi were dismayed.

[#2 posted by Rustle-T, April 15, 2009 4:48 PM]

I totally had a dream like this a couple nights ago. Does that make me a replicant?

[#3 posted by dinobuddy, April 15, 2009 5:10 PM]

Actually, after watching that, I think I need a scutigera coleoptrata chaser.

[#4 posted by brooklyntwang, April 15, 2009 5:10 PM]

How come these are all just drawings and paintings of unihorns and not actual photographs of real unihorns?

[#5 posted by Mike Estee, April 15, 2009 5:20 PM]

#3 DinoBuddy:

Agreed. So far, I rather like our new guest blogger.

[#6 posted by skatanic, April 15, 2009 5:22 PM]

@Brooklyntwang
Unicorns are like vampires in that they do not have reflections or appear in photographs, thus its impossible to get "real" photos of them. Obviously this has lead to some confusion as to whether they actually exist or not.

[#7 posted by Anonymous, April 15, 2009 5:32 PM]

I think the scutigera coleoptrata is much more attractive than the unicorns.

[#8 posted by Formiga, April 15, 2009 5:33 PM]

I owned three of those posters when I was a child. I wish I still had them.

[#9 posted by FreakCitySF, April 15, 2009 5:42 PM]

I want glitter, unicorns and rainbows, not Aqua!

It just doesn't repair my retinas as fast etc...

[#10 posted by Ian70, April 15, 2009 5:53 PM]

With AQUA???

Is this a how-to video of "How To Ruin Perfectly Useful Unicorn Art With Intolerably Whiny Vocals?"

Horrid blasphemy. I preferred nature's multilegged bugs to this skill-free idiocy.

[#11 posted by dghenke, April 15, 2009 6:09 PM]

I call shenanigans, thus:

A significant fraction of the so-called "unicorns" in the aforelinked vidja were nothing more than pterippi[1] (some subset of which had horns, clearly prosthetic, protruding from their foreheads).

Let us demand nothing less than 100% pure unicorn squeezins (not from concentrate) in our collective chaser! For this terrible injustice, Doctorow, you shall surely pay.

Shenanigans, I tell you.

[1]-- Winged horses, of whom Pegasus was the archetype and progenitor.

[#12 posted by Xeni Jardin, April 15, 2009 6:13 PM]

Yo, this ain't Doctorow.

[#13 posted by Anonymous, April 15, 2009 6:13 PM]

Thank God. That scutigalskdjgphae story was intense. No, seriously. I have a thing with bugs. My girlfriend kills all the spiders in the house.

[#14 posted by phlavor, April 15, 2009 6:24 PM]

23 seconds! I'll make sure to torture my son with that later.

[#15 posted by Anonymous, April 15, 2009 6:26 PM]

While the bug was eerie and I want none of it in my house - that video was distressing to a large degree. To second a number of previous comments - there were many impostercorns, and Aqua made me ill. While needed, it was kind of like sucking on the whole lime long after you've forgotten about the tequila.

[#16 posted by CasaDelGatos, April 15, 2009 6:39 PM]

So many ideas for tattoos in this video!

[#17 posted by Anonymous, April 15, 2009 6:47 PM]

What hurts my retina is the awful and overused title effect. It's the new Comic Sans.

[#18 posted by maoinhibitor, April 15, 2009 6:53 PM]

You absolutely have to let me know who the music was by.

It's like listening to a bag of Starburst fruit candy that you have unwrapped and are jamming by the handful into your piehole.

[#19 posted by maoinhibitor, April 15, 2009 6:59 PM]

And then you find that one of the candies had a jagged fragment of glass in it.

I think this unicorn chaser needs a Throbbing Gristle Chaser

[#20 posted by Jamie Sue, April 15, 2009 8:03 PM]

I think this was the first time I ever NEEDED a unicorn chaser to sleep at night. That bug was too much for me. I'm still itching all over.

On another note... I wonder if fascination with unicorns and maturity levels are directly correlative? I think most pre-pubescent females like unicorns, but it seems that only a select few continue that fascination into adulthood... and in general those women (from my personal observation only) are less equipt to handle relationships/difficult social situations.

[#21 posted by Anonymous, April 15, 2009 9:17 PM]

Maoinhibitor @ #19:

The song is "Butterfly" by Smile.dk, best known for its appearance in the Dance Dance Revolution games (big surprise, huh?).

[#22 posted by neurolux, April 15, 2009 10:16 PM]

I need a Mozart chaser to get this song out of my head!

[#23 posted by palindrome, April 15, 2009 10:24 PM]

This was my favorite song on Stepmania. It's kinda sad, but it was. Mostly because it was easy to learn the steps.

Neurolux, how about a Bach chaser?

[#24 posted by rosyatrandom, April 16, 2009 6:14 AM]

The winged horse @1:24 is my favourite.

"Hey guys! I heard there's, like, a unicorn video going on? That sounds totally rad, can I be in it? Guys? Guys? I'm not too late, am I? Guys?!"

[#25 posted by ICEverfrost, April 16, 2009 7:36 AM]

Anyone else disturbed by the S&M unicorn in chains at the end?

[#26 posted by Anonymous, April 16, 2009 1:27 PM]

Guinness did this ad a few years back. Brill Leftfield music. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zcdDg30VBgo

[#27 posted by Phikus, April 16, 2009 4:42 PM]

Maoinhibitor: Thank you for that! Best thing to do, I found, was to watch the unicorn vid in one tab with the sound down while listening to the TG clip from another simultaneously. Best mashup EVAR! Now all is right in teh universe. ;D

[#28 posted by Chocolatey Shatner, April 16, 2009 4:48 PM]

Maybe some of the naysayers would have preferred this kind of "unicorn"?

[#29 posted by Chocolatey Shatner, April 16, 2009 4:58 PM]

Or perhaps this one?

[#30 posted by Antinous / Moderator, April 16, 2009 6:21 PM]

That first one was extra-special. Was that a huge carrot on his head?

[#31 posted by Flitere, April 16, 2009 6:29 PM]

Huge carrot, definitely.