Man sentenced for vacuum sex
Jason Leroy Savage will go to prison for 90 days for having sex with a vacuum at a car wash in Thomas Township, Detroit. From the Associated Press:
(He) must also submit to drug testing.Man caught in vacuum sex act gets 90 days
The 29-year-old from Michigan, was sentenced Wednesday at Saginaw County Circuit Court. Savage pleaded no contest to indecent exposure last month.
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Wow. That must have sucked.
A clear violation of his constitutional rights-- he happens to be a member of the Church of Appliantology.
dont get me wrong,this is wrong on all levels but did he really need to go to prison for that?
Well, we psychiatrists have found that over 8% of the population will always be vacuphilic. I mean, after all, there's something of the Dyson in all of us. I mean, how many of us can honestly say that at one time or another he hasn't felt sexually attracted to vacuums? I know I have.
So just to clarify, it was not having sex with a vacuum cleaner that got him in trouble, it was having sex (of any kind) in a public place.
Now, ahem, if you'll excuse me, I have some cleaning to do in the privacy of my own home.
Some prefer to vacuum their floormats, while others would rather just beat them off.
Thomas Township is actually in Saginaw. The article states it is 90 miles from Detroit.
@TRON: Ha!
" It's a cross between an industrial vacuum cleaner and a chrome piggy bank with marital aids stuck all over its body...it's really exciting... "
I wonder if he paid extra for the hot wax.
@5 *golf clap* Bravo!
"You're plooking too hard on ... meeeeeeee..."
Yeah, yeah, laugh it up, but once we have highly specialized robotic car wash attendants, this will be a serious crime!
@5 *rim shot*
(And no, that's not a reference to a sexual act...)
The white zone is for loading and unloading only...
I wonder how hard it was to disconnect the vacuum from the dirtbag.
er, ahh...guys??
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/2000899/Man-admits-having-sex-with-1000-cars.html
Rpaxton@6 & Peacenerd@16: FTW! (Sorry, you'll hafta share teh internets.)
Doco@9: That would be the XQJ-37 Pan-Sexual Roto-Plooker, I believe. ;D
Wax on, whacks off.....
Savage!
Wow, sucks to be him. The last time I had sex with a vacuum, all I got was soul-crushingly depressed.
Wow. BoingBoing's got a theme going today. First the piece about the artist who painted herself having sex with Hoover and now this....
I'm wondering how many readers are quietly reminiscing about that foxy little Electrolux back home.
Or is it just me?
#6 #16 #19 #22
Merit of Excellence!
yeah yeah you all laugh now but the real victim ie 'the vacuum cleaner' spends its days living in fear hiding behind some complex car wash machinery while its attacker walks free, ready to claim another another vacuum cleaner victim. and who knows when, or where he'll strike again! it could be a car wash near you!
#25 olaf9000
I know your comment was funny, and I got the joke, but then I thought about how unfunny this situation really is. No, the atacker doesn't walk around free. He's going to spend 90 days in prison, suffering ridicule, embarrassment, and quite possibly brutal sexual assault.
Isn't the embarrassment of public humiliation punishment enough for doing something so foolish? Jason's a young man, but his future is now quite possibly ruined by this event. 90 days doesn't sound like a very harsh sentence, but if you've spent even 24 hours in a jail cell (for protesting the war, or exercising your First Amendment rights at a political convention), you know it's no picnic, and the thought of three months without my freedom makes me feel a lot of sympathy for him. He not only has to submit to routine drug testing, but will also be flagged as a registered sex offender for the rest of his life. He may be denied a job because of this, and these days, it's hard enough to keep a good job even without a criminal record.
Yes, I laughed at a lot of the jokes in this comment thread, but then I thought about the object of those jokes, and I now feel very bad for this poor guy. Kind of sucks to be him now, doesn't it?
If you go to the car wash in baggy shorts, you can 'take care of business' without the indecent exposure charge. Gets rid of a lot of them little 'spiders', too!
>"...I wonder how hard it was to disconnect the vacuum from the dirtbag."
Two cops did it, but they couldn't until his quarters ran out.
At least he cleans up after himself.
I bet he got the idea from "Scary Movie", the officer that was the real killer dragged around a vacuum and was caught by his mom or sister, that scene was hilarious.
I hate it when people masturbating are supposedly having sex with something. Screwing a person = sex. Screwing a vacuum = masturbation. Screwing a non-human animal = sick.
I've no problems at all with him masturbating with a vacuum so long as its his vacuum and done someplace he has a reasonable expectation of privacy. Otherwise its also kinda sick, ok?
Anon@26: Darwin at work, dude. If he had been arrested for doing something like this in the comfort of his own home, he would have all my sympathies, but let's face it, the guy shouldn't be around society at large if he can't pass a public car wash without thinkin': "Say... I think that vacuum cleaner looks mighty good right now..."
I hope a judge sentences him to get some psychiatric help, which is actually more likely than being put in with the general prison population, given the details of his case.
I have a friend doing a little time right now for indecent exposure, and another who is a classically good looking guy who did many years of hard time. Neither are very intimidating looking guys, and neither were sexually assaulted, nor did they have to become anyone's bitch. It would seem in their experiences to be a myth that this is a certainty in prison (and this was in Chino (CA) and in Texas, respectively.)
Yes, it sucks to be him, no pun intended, and I hope he gets the help he needs, but I think it's only human to have a little fun at the expense of a guy who couldn't have enough self control not to do something like this in a public place, imho. I personally don't want to have to use a vacuum in a public car wash and have to wonder where it's been.
KevinC@17: I'll bet that guy was exhausted!
guilty of a number of things, but potential assault by virus is high on the list. People who leave blood and bodily fluids lying around indiscriminately deserve an ass kicking.
Hell yeah, Leroy, that'll show Texas which state deserves the freak flag! Backwards Michiganders, reprezent!
"vacuuming the floor"... yeah, right.
http://www.bclocalnews.com/news/41980097.html
#26 i got the point just being sarcastic, however urinating in public and getting labled a sex offender is way worse in my mind...
Yeah, I have to agree that I don't really think jail time is needed for this. Counseling, maybe, but jail time?
How about, as an alternative punishment, he just becomes known as "that guy who put his dick in the vacuum at the car wash"? I think that's way more effective.
A real life Leeroy Jenkins moment...
Leeeeroy Savage!!!!!!!!
This dude gets arrested for jerking off in public in a car wash and earlier this week some Puerto Rican singer was busted wanking on a plane:
http://www.rr.com/news/news/article/6818193/7251805/Singer_Crespo_accused_of_masturbating_on_plane
Seriously -- what is wrong with people today?!?
What? His home vacuum wasn't sexy enough?
Yeah, anyone who's read 'Crooked Little Vein' thinks this guy got off lightly. Ok, 'got off' is the wrong way to put it. Maybe. Anyway, the outcome could have been much worse...
If he wore a skirt, maybe he could avoid the "exposure" part?
Since he had to pay the real crime was solicitation, correct?
Awful example of how xenophobic society is today.
You can't stop the robo-love! Bolt-screw pride! We're here, we like humping TI-84+ calculators, get used to it!
Ok, that last catch-phrase could use some work, but we've only managed to reach the level of simulated mice-brains so far. It's quite impressive for a group of mice.
There's two kinds of indecent exposure. Standing in front of children and pulling your overcoat open to frighten the little darlings is one that warrants jail time.
Last time I was arrested was in San Felipe, Mexico, but I wasn't flashing anyone. It was late on a hot night, and I went out behind the bar to take a leak. The gulf water looked so inviting! All I was wearing was my shorts, that bore my wallet, smokes and stuff, so I dropped trau and took a little swim. Then some big Mexican with a machine gun on the beach is yelling at me. $20 later I'm back in the bar. "Cinco mas margaritas!"
The parallels to the movie Super Sucker by Michigan native Jeff Daniels are too good to be true.
As they say, truth is stranger than fact.
Can't believe no one's said this:
Once you go vac, you never go back.
(courtesy of Burke)
"What can I say? There is just some folks as needs killin'. So, what are you in here for?"
What do you expect, mother? I'm half machine!