Woman places 3 calls to 911 to complain about McNuggets incident
Enjoy these audio recordings of a Florida woman who repeatedly called 911 to report a problem with a Chicken McNuggets order at a McDonalds restaurant. The restaurant took her money, told her they were out of McNuggets, and refused to give her a refund, telling her it was against their policy.
Told McDonald’s was out of Chicken McNuggets after paying for a 10-piece meal, a local woman called 911.Latreasa L. Goodman has been charged with misuse of the 911 service and must appear in court.Three times.
“This is an emergency, If I would have known they didn’t have McNuggets, I wouldn’t have given my money, and now she wants to give me a McDouble, but I don’t want one,” Latreasa L. Goodman told police. “This is an emergency.”
UPDATE: Woman who called 911 in McNuggets flap to get refund, free meal
Fort Pierce woman calls 911 three times when McNuggets run out (Via Arbroath)
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It seems as if she had just worded it differently, perhaps something like, "This cashier has stolen my money and won't give it back." instead of, "my McNuggets are an emergency" she might not have to go to court.
This is hilarious and a waste of 911 time.. but they shouldn't have taken her money if they didn't have what she wanted.
Friggin' McDonalds
/Hoping to start something
If she had tried stealing the McNuggets, McDonald's would call the police. In this case, she paid for the nuggets, did not get them, and was not given her money back. I see that as theft on the part of McDonald's. But apparently the merchant has rights and powers that the average citizen does not have - the police are working for them, not us. When the merchant alleges theft, call in the SWAT teams; when a citizen alleges theft ... arrest the citizen.
What should she have done instead? If a customer took food from McDonald's without paying, you can be sure that McD's would call the cops on them. How is this any different?
She paid her money, and they refused to give her what she paid for. And they wouldn't return her money. They stole her money.
Calling 911 isn't ideal, but who keeps their local precinct number in their head?
I dunno Arkie, that would mean someone would have to say something good about McDonalds.
Theft of money seems like a reason to call 911.
/* not that I bothered to read the article */
Yeah, under normal circumstances, 911 is completely appropriate for a theft in progress, not sure where one draws the line.
The call is funny.
But.....
At least in our county, there is no longer a number to call for a non-emergency police request. Any numbers in the phone book are now simply recordings telling you to call 911.
Technically, McDonalds committed fraud. Which is a crime. So the lady had no good way of getting her money back.
What about that woman in Montreal who called 911 over 10,000 times? She was just convicted last week of being a public nuisance.
Ok, this seems a clear case of theft by the McDonald's employee / store. Why did they police cite the victim?
Because she was black?
Because she had a stupid attitude?
If you need to call the police, its generally expected you may do so via 911. I wouldn't say it was "an emergency", but certainly she had a right to call for an officer to take a report of petty theft. The store took her money and did not supply her what she ordered.
If I went to the lumber yard and ordered 20 sheets of plywood and they said they were out and would instead give me 2x4's, no refunds, damn right I'd call the police. The only difference is the amount of money, and you can be certain if she ran out of the store without paying for a burger then McD's would have called the police.
Okay, they clearly should have given her a refund if she had already paid, but the article says that she called 911 THREE times, and was told each time that an officer was en route. There's no need to continue calling if they're sending an officer, and it's not a real emergency in any case.
oh goody! now we can add "Fraud" to the long, long list.
Happy Meals are made of, by and for Happy People.
This woman is not a Happy Person.
She was correctly not allowed to eat a Happy Meal.
Enjoy your day.
First, if someone stole $6 out of my wallet at work, I wouldn't call the police. Because it's 6 freakin' dollars. (If they robbed me ... at gunpoint ... I'd call the police -- because of *the gun.*) The legal system itself defines robberies and theft by the value stolen.
Second, I've always been under the impression that 911 was for life-or-death emergencies, or situations where you were under physical threat (the reason why people call the police about break-and-enters -- the magnitude of the theft as well as the potential for violence by any lingering thieves).
Make a complaint to the manager (rather than arguing with a low-level employee like a cashier, who can't make real decisions or might not be properly trained in policy), and then if you're not happy, escalate the problem by calling corporate or a BBB-type organization.
If McD's called police in the event of a theft by a customer, it'd be because they can't go over the heads of regular citizens to some kind of corporate representation, or would probably be massively sued if they laid a hand on a customer trying to manhandle them out the door.
Saying that losing an amount under $10, in a non-violent situation, due to shitty customer service, is a situation for police intervention is like saying you should also call 911 when somebody kicks you in the shin under the dinner table because you uttered a faux-pas. My God. Assault?
Just because McD's was wrong in their handling of the situation doesn't mean the customer needed to call the freakin' 911 line.
As a firefighter who goes on some very absurd 9-1-1 "emergencies," here is a video that highlights a need and then provides a solution:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F8QgC2FhGFg
Mods, go ahead and close down this thread now, because CHUNKYMONKEYBRAIN is the clear winner.
Congrats, CMB! Have a Mcnugget!
no law for the poor. And the rich know it.
Come on now, surely they could have scammed her out of her life's savings, and 911 would still not have been the appropriate number to call. It's for emergencies where life is in danger.
Bush called 9/11 like ten-thousand times and he never got arrested.
ChunkyMonkeyBrain, you win.
Thebes, the problem is not that she reported theft to the police, the problem is that she called an emergency line without an emergency.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/03/04/911-mcnuggets-call-latrea_n_171744.html
I heard this on the news this morning and I'm glad to see that so far the majority so far feel the same as I do. We have had the 911 number drilled into our heads as the contact number for the police and I agree that the employee at the McDonald's committed a crime.
Could she have just looked up the number for the police and called the non emergency number? Maybe, after all thats what I did when I spotted Johnny running out of my shed with some of my power tools. after all I knew the perpetrators name and saw him with my tools in his grubby little hands. and then I called again the next day and called again a week later, then emailed them (yeah I was beginning to feel a little cynical by this time) I finally got a call back about 3 months later and they explained to me that they couldn't do anything about that sort of thing.
Wow, I think some of the commenters here need to learn what an emergency is.
"McDonald's would call the police"
Would they call 911 over $6 worth of McNuggets?
Because that would be pretty lame.
I've seen convenience stores get ripped off and they aren't stupid enough to call 911 every time some mook walks out with some beer. They write it down and report it, but they don't treat it like an armed robbery.
@22: "Little hands"? Was he a kid or teen? Did you finally resort to confronting him, or telling his parents? How did that turn out?
My father once piled up concrete flagstones in our front yard, close to the steps, in preparation for laying out a pathway. At some point during the day, the stones disappeared. We found them stacked neatly in the yard of the house at the end of the street.
Instead of calling 911 three damn times, he went over, politely gave my neighbour an out by explaining the stones were not garbage (thus casting my neighbour as a thoughtless scavenger rather than outright thief), and got the stones back.
We put out a cardboard box full of odd wood scraps (more obviously garbage) right on the curb and even then, a gentleman rang our door asking if he could take them, because he didn't see a note.
Hey-maybe losing under 10 bucks isn't a big deal to some of you folks, but it can be a real chunk of change if you're poor. Not that I would spend that much of my food budget at McD's, but it's her choice.
And plenty of people have had bad enough experiences with authority that they would hesitate to ask for the manager. Calling the cops may seem like the only way to get something done.
Once the caller calls again, she is obviously distressed and needs calming, not arrest.
If I call the 311 non-emergency number to report a traffic light out, or a truck stuck under a bridge I get transferred to the 911 line. So even if I try to make a non-emergency call I still end up talking to the 911 dispatchers.
Ito@20: But it *was* an emergency. Didn't you read the article? She needed those McNuggets!
I'm just glad they settled this without bloodshed.
"no law for the poor. And the rich know it."
I dunno, I think not having 911 lines repeatedly tied up with ridiculous stuff probably benefits "the poor" at least as much as "the rich."
This is one stupid fast food manager trying to enforce a nonexistent (and nonsensical) policy, and a customer wildly disproportionately flipping out about it. Not everything is about class warfare and vast conspiracies in evil corporations. But I guess if we're that short on martyrs these days...
911 is for emergencies. This was *not* an emergency. I'm shocked by the number of people who think it was okay for her to call 911 over McNuggets.
This is tantamount to that most heinous of crimes, theft of money.
@25: And police isn't "authority"?
@28: The article doesn't mention a manager, but only a cashier and a "worker." It's possible the manager does have some stupid policy, but it's also possible the cashier was poorly trained.
@11 - Good points, worded well! I agree wholeheartedly.
Additionally, as #1 pointed out - this is a waste of 911 time. I understand that it can be considered 'theft', but this is something an adult should be able to deal with on their own.
I admit, I don't have overwhelming respect for the police in this country but 911 is for emergencies. I have a very close friend who used to be an emergency services operator and has discussed with me the intense frustration he and his colleagues felt when people call in about things that don't warrant an emergency call.
To the people who think she did the right thing: This simply can not be defined as an emergency. It is also theft if my kid sister takes my legos, but that doesn't warrant a 911 call.
It is irresponsible to not try and find a more appropriate solution to this. Demand to speak to the manager, if the McNuggets are that important to you. Stay there until they bring you the most senior person on staff. Or, note down what happened, go get your food from another McDonalds, go home and write a formal complaint. Probably would have gotten her the same response from McD's, without all the publicity.
Ugh, I'm going to stop before I get too worked up, because this occurrence is exactly the sort of self-importance, self-righteousness, irresponsibility, laziness and waste of resources which cripples healthy societies. The only up side to observing behavior like this is that it provides a good indicator of people I can't bloody stand. =P
@22,
I'm 6'3" and 280 lbs give or take, to me a lot of people are "little" especially that dried up 40 year old heroin addict that stole my tools, and yeah I found him about a week before the cops called me back. didn't get my tools back tho.
you can bet the manager (relatively rich) got away with the exact same thing a hundred times before he ran into her. Think a society matron in a fancy restaurant who had been shorted two bucks in her change (and sure could afford it) would have had any trouble?
So, what would you have done?
"McNuggets, introduced to the McDonald’s national menu in 1983, are sold in more than 100 countries and often are dunked in barbecue or hot mustard sauce. Goodman’s 10-piece selection has 460 calories and 29 grams of fat."
Will Greenlee, the writer of the article, intersects with the time-honored rules of journalism. The dietary content is perhaps a little over-enthusiastic, but my favorite nugget.
This woman had every right to call the police. "We're out of Belvedere, but here's three bottles of Smirnoff." NFW.
#34- I would have let it go, personally. I have let worse go. But, I have never been the type to raise a fuss.
Assuming I really cared that much (maybe back when I was astoundingly broke) I'd have tried to speak with a manager.
If that failed, I'd write a formal complaint to McDonald's corporate.
Is... is there something wrong with these alternatives that I'm not seeing?
Gloria @ 30
"The article doesn't mention a manager, but only a cashier and a "worker." It's possible the manager does have some stupid policy, but it's also possible the cashier was poorly trained."
In the first recording
Operator: There's no manager there? You already spoke with the manager?
Woman: She say she are the manager..
http://www.tcpalm.com/videos/detail/first-call/
In many areas 311 is available to make a call in non-emergencies that require the attention of some public service. I think this would qualify. After all, the McDonald's was not running away being hotly pursued.
Takuan sums it up neatly with: "no law for the poor" and Red Leatherman @ 22 explains why that is so for the pampered whites here.
The police serve at the pleasure of the rich. It used to include the middle class back when I was growing up but there really isn't much of a middle class left any more. I think that some people are extrapolating from their own limited and privileged experience. It's very different if you are poor and/or non-white.
@30: Sorry, didn't listen to the recording. Thanks.
Anyway, like I said, go to corporate. Surely the poor don't have a problem with making a phone call or writing a letter?
(Unless she wasn't able to afford the stamp and envelope because McDonald's took it for her phantom McNuggets!)
"Regarding this isolated incident, we apologize for the inconvenience caused.
...
In the event that we are unable to fill an order, a customer should be offered the choice of a full refund or alternative menu items. We regret that in this instance, that wasn't the case."
~ McDonalds
@Gloria and the others who said this woman should have called the manager: the cashier said she was the manager. This is not unusual -- there are plenty of managers who also work as cashiers in fast food places.
The 911 dispatcher asked if the woman had spoken to the manager. The woman said she had, that the cashier said she was the manager.
McDonalds claims in the article that their policy is to offer a replacement or a refund, but I bet that this wasn't taught clearly or at all to the manager at the joint. What was going though her head was "The receipt is already made out. If I give a refund, it will look like there is money missing from the cash machine. There is no system of marking this down as a refund. Therefore I'll get in trouble."
I can't listen to the audio, because I'm at work. Sorry, I didn't realize the cashier apparently was the manager.
On that note... did this all occur at the drive-through? If so, she could have tried... going inside?
Humans amuse me.
"..did this all occur at the drive-through? "
Is there any information to suggest so?
I know I wouldn't have any idea as to what number to call other than 911 if i wanted police intervention for something.
A quick check of my local police provides the right number... but not in a very prominant location, and certainly not a number i'm likely to remember should it be needed.
Interestingly, as it was technically a crime in progress, that would make the call valid here at least.
last time I tried to use the "non-emergency number" , it was unmanned. On another occasion , they told me to dial 911. Once when making a noise complaint (three hours of fireworks three days before legal) 911 told me to use the non-emergency number.
The lesson?: if there is a real emergency, call the fire department. No one answers screams of "Help, police!" "FIRE" always works. And a dozen men with axes makes a good response for most violence.
Fraud or theft. She should have reported a crime.
Instead of crying wolf (calling 911 for your hangnail) you can just dial 411 to ask what the non-emergency contact number is for the police.
@45 - Is there any information to suggest so?
No, but I have an equal absence of evidence to suggest it wasn't... which was why I, you know, asked.
I have a question. Someone mentioned that during a subsequent call to 911, the woman was told police were en route. If that was the case, then the dispatcher thought it was worthy of sending the police. One call does not a nuisance make, so it was the other calls that led to her being arrested. It would have been better to (on the first call) to ask about how long it would take for the police to get there.
Could it have been handled differently...yes.
If the manager/cashier offered her something of lesser value (for the same price), then...that's still a crime. I agree, it's a small amount, but the principle is the same. You've been cheated out of your money.
It's a shame that people aren't...you know...smart.
Waiting to see if "This is an emergency!" will become the next great 'net meme.
everyone want their 15 minutes of 'fame'
Mark needs to come up with a female version of his calling someone a "gentleman".
fame? I think she wanted money or nuggets. And minimum respect.
From the article:
"On Tuesday, Goodman said she agreed to get a McDouble in lieu of the McNuggets as long as she also got the difference in price back. Goodman said the only menu items she cares for are McNuggets and McDoubles."
"Goodman claimed a McDonald’s worker wouldn’t give her the difference in money back, so Goodman decided she wanted a full refund."
So in other words the customer was willing to accept something she had not ordered if she got change back. The manager refused to give her change back to her. You're damn right I'd be pissed off too. I'd raise holy hell. And if I were black, (I'm not) and the manager white I would think that was a factor. The customer should counter sue for discrimination.
More fun times at McDonald's:
McDonald's: No workers comp for employee shot protecting patron
Well just a couple of things.
Some people making light and just saying let it go, are being a bit insensitive. Who knows what her situation is, and to judge without thought is pretty lame. Also, sure 6$ is of no big deal if you make 80,000$ a year, but if it took you an hour to make that 6$, well it might be worth a bit more to you. Plus who knows perhaps she has kids and they were for them, and now they have none. Perhaps she is at her wits end about something and distraught.
Also this sort of shit companies pull all the time. They have people that are paid plenty of money to figure out. Basically what small amount can they steal, that I won't bother to do anything about. In this case multiply by "Billions Sold". They KNOW they can get away with it, and IF they are ever brought to task for it, it matters not, as the penalty is usually small and rare enough to make it worthwhile.
That said, 911 is for emergencies, though as previously mentioned in many places 911 is the only number you can call, its all handled centrally now. Calling back multiple times was stupid, and probably a result of frustration and feelings of powerlessness.
Though in the end, she will be getting justice because this story is all over the internet now, and is horrible PR for McDonald's.
If the same thing happened to me I would do one to 5 things:
1) Call the normal police number, and report the theft. Make sure to get all the details available, Manager Name, Cashier Name, Time, Date, several witness contact numbers. In fact collecting this information would likely scare/annoy the McDonald's owner/staff in of itself.
2) Contact the local paper, and submit your story, about how you were ripped off by Macdonald's including all details. Also if police did nothing, comment on that as well, and report that to the ombudsman that deals with that sort of thing.
3) Sent a copy of the above outlining the incident, but being polite, but outraged, to the local, regional, and corporate headquarters of MacDonald's. Fearing bad press, you will likely get a refund, if a bit belated, and likely an apology to boot.
4) Do something petty. Something that makes you square, but if you ever get caught, would only amount to a slap on the wrist. Dump trays in the garbage, steal all the toilet paper, take forever at the drive-thu, tip over all the garbage cans, whatever. Nothing that would really get you in any trouble, but would make you feel better and annoy the crap out of everyone at or working at MacDonald's.
5) Burn the place to the ground. (only as a last resort of course! and I am joking btw... someone could get hurt!)
Oops, sorry for double post.
And FTR, if I had paid for McNuggets, no other McFood Item would be acceptable. I would want nuggets, or my money back. A voucher for nuggets would also be acceptable.
if the same thing happened to me? Why I'd post it on a popular blog so everyone could know about it.
First they came for the McNuggets and I said nothing because I don't eat McNuggets.
Next they came for the Fish Fillets and I said nothing because I don't eat Fish Fillets.
Then they came for the Big Macs and there was nothing left to eat.
On a more serious note- How does McDonalds run out of McNuggets?
I worked as a manager at a McD's, and I can't believe that they refused to give her a refund. That's poor management. It's not like it's a retail store, where she bought an expensive appliance or something and then wanted a refund - it's a fast-food restaurant, and a loss of under $10. She was offered an alternative; she didn't want it; she should have been given her money back. Period.
Random McDs and disputes anecdote time!
I once had the local McD's charge me full price for a combo, as if I'd bought all the pieces individually. Overcharged like, 50 cents or something, nothing life threatening but meant I'd not have enough change on hand for a drink that afternoon.
They'd just had the cash registers updated with new prices, and the cashiers had obviously been coached that the only possible reason a customer could be complaining about the prices is because the customer didn't know about the price change.
I spoke to the manager, advised them that they should probably get that technician back to check out their equipment, she took my phone number, and off I went without my change. If she hadn't seemed reasonably helpful, I would have come back after work and spoken to the evening manager and seen if he was any better at arithmatic ;)
This is usually as far as these things need to go, but if they'd all denied everything, the next step would be to call corporate.
Instead, the manager gave me a call the next morning and told me to stop by for a free breakfast for making sure someone found out about the problem before they overcharged too many people and opened themselves up for liability.
Personally, the loss of 50 cents wasn't a big deal, what drove me around the BEND was numbers not adding up properly. I blame 8 hrs a day of debugging for cultivating mild OCD.
Dragging this back to the lady and her McNuggets, in her position, with the manager offering her a lesser value sandwich and presuming I really needed the change, I'd have got the manager to put it down in writing what he was offering me, and then come back on another shift to bitch about it to another manager, then if I still cared, dragged it up to corporate. (And griped about it in my friends blog)
After that, it would have been to the media to complain. I don't think I would have even thought of going to the cops - it costs the city more for the police visit than the $6 for McNuggets, and I pay taxes so that's bad value for my money. Making a stink about it in a newspaper doesn't cost me or other taxpayers a dime :D
I'd probably contact the owner, whose phone number is posted all over my local McD's, then maybe I'd call the BBB. If it was a pattern, I'd document it, and call a lawyer.
Then again, maybe the first call got a police response because the police could sorta tell from her call that she was distraught and in a crisis.
perhaps someone who is used to having to fight for everything is a bit touchy.
Thanks for the audio link Takuan. She sounds to me like someone who is out of options. I would suggest that she might have a disability of some kind and that for her this is indeed an emergency and one that she really can't cope with. In the second call she seems particularly uncontrolled and hangs up. I don't know what else is going on when she is making these calls, it may be that there were other reasons for her to feel threatened. The emergency may not have been "they took my money" but "they took my money I don't understand what is happening and I don't know how to deal with it". Interestingly emergency is a very difficult concept to define. You don't notice this until you try to pin it down. For example try defining it for an AI device.
Completely retarded. Under absolutely no circumstances are McNuggets a police emergency. Not even if they're being shot out of a bazooka.
On top of all the bad news coming true, this is too much. My personal "toothpicks carry an inctruction booklet" moment. I want off this planet, stat.
#62, I went to a KFC for lunch about 6 months ago, they told me that they didn't get their chicken shipment that morning and this (in the pass between the kitchen and counter)was all they had left. They basically let me build my own combo out of the bits and pieces left. It wasn't the best meal...but hey, thats NOT why you go to KFC!
So...it's not McDonalds, but I can say I've been at a KFC that ran out of chicken!
oh why not
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ElNpwX_8YpQ
Emergency -- life being threated, lying bleeding to death, cant breath, heart attack, being home invaded, being chased by gunpoint, being raped.. etc, these are emergencies...
NOT getting back money of any amount (go to court, or one of those judges shows). or food of any kind.. takes up resources for those in need.
Those that want respect or justice or fairness, that is just part of life, and doesn't require a call to 911.
(and in fact those people are rewarded, CEOs, Banks, politicians, certain presidents.. etc..)
we are quick to not take any responsibility for our actions, and want a quick fix to everything, a sense of entitlement, and narcissism.
"No, but I have an equal absence of evidence to suggest it wasn't... which was why I, you know, asked."
Oh. I guess it happened on the moon, so. Because I have no evidence either way.. Did it happen on the moon?
@Burned1000
Yes, when I enter into a contract with a restaurant by giving them my money, I do have a sense of entitlement that they hold up their end of the bargain.
According to my buddy the cop, the appropriate way to contact the police on any non-life threatening matter is to call 911 and begin with the words "this is not an emergency". Even in jurisdictions with some other means of calling the police, it's hard to imagine anyone would object to this procedure.
It's also obviously appropriate to call the police if McDonalds steals money from you. Contact corporate headquarters and file a complaint? Let it slide? WTF? Figuring out where in McDs corporate procedures something messed up and produced theft is nobodies job but McDs.
Calling 911 three times and insisting it is an emergency when nothing life threatening is going on is obviously stupid and fine worthy.
The police report http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/years/2009/0303091mcnugget1.html
doesn't tell us how long it took the cops to get there; calling back might have been reasonable depending how long it took. She didn't violate the statute she was cited for; it wasn't a false alarm,and did she did want a cop to come and respond to McDonald's theft of her money.
The report doesn't say if she got her money back.
McDonald's offer of a free lunch is woefully inadequate.
Recently I went to Midas for a free brake inspection. They charged me $250 for the free brake inspection. The home office is backing up the local store. They promised to send me a letter - 2 weeks later, no letter. I'll be contacting the company owner next.
Also, my local cops tend to not answer their non-emergency number. And they get pissed off if you show up in person; they say go home and call 911.
It is less effective to respond to what most of us consider an emergency than it is to respond to potential emergencies. This is why in most hospitals around the world there are medical emergency teams. These teams are designed to respond to exactly this sort of emergency (except obviously in the medical domain). They respond to such things as nurses feeling uneasy about a patient or something being not quite right rather than a patient being in arrest. This is the type of emergency where you can actually be very effective. Take this example - the woman is obviously distressed and agitated, if you respond to this as an emergency you avoid her or others potentially being hurt.
All I can think about, upon seeing the image of the McNuggets in the story, is mechanically separated chicken.
McFraud
@13 WIN!
Yes, she shouldn't have called 3 times, and she was probably over reacting calling it an emergency. But you know what? The 911 people are guilty of over reaction too.
Charging her with misuse of 911. Isn't that a misuse of the court's time? Don't they have other more important cases? She called them 3 times. Maybe that's 2 times more than necessary. But it's not like she rang that line 10,000 times and tied it up.
I did make a fake emergency call once. I was 16. We were living on the 11th floor. One night we hear people fighting across the road, at ground level. The whole family gathered at the windows to watch. I'm sure many other families in the entire block watched too.
I wanted to call the police. Mum says go ahead. So I rang 999 (it's the emergency number here). I told them a few people were fighting in front of the post office, just 2 blocks from the Sentul police station. Two minutes later we hear police siren. Strangely, it sounded quite far away. Then my sister pointed out that there was another police station in Sentul, further north.
Since the people who were fighting already left, I didn't call back. I'm sure that got recorded as a crank call.
Oh, boy...the McCain family is at it again (http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/thedishrag/2008/10/john-mccains-br.html).
Jackie31337@78: "All I can think about, upon seeing the image of the McNuggets in the story, is mechanically separated chicken."
My first thought was that, if you're going to call in an emergency, it should at least be over something halfway edible, like Popeye's.