TSA demands biometric IDs for period reenacter mule-drivers

Mark sez, "Under TSA rules, various transportation workers need to pass background checks to receive biometric 'Transportation Worker Identification Credentials (TWIC)' IDs; this measure is allegedly necessary to thwart terrorism. This standard is being applied to employees of Hugh Moore Historical Park who operate mule-drawn canal boats at breakneck speeds of up to two miles per hour while wearing period costumes."
"We have one boat. It's pulled by two mules. On a good day they might go 2 miles per hour," said Sarah B. Hays, the park's director of operations.

The park's two-mile canal does not pass any military bases, nuclear power plants or other sensitive facilities. And, park officials say, the mules could be considered weapons of mass destruction only if they were aimed at something resembling food.

TSA: Mule skinners need background checks, too (Thanks, Mark!)

Discussion

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I grew up about an hour from this park. I went there on a field trip in 5th grade for an "educational experience". I used to eat lunch in the park occaisionally at a previous job. I can not think of ANY situation where commandeering the canal boat could cause more damage than, say, just tossing a grenade nearby. You could load it with dynamite, and the worst you could do is kill a couple mules, a dozen people, and maybe collapse a canal wall. But there I go, thinking like a terrorist.

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#2 posted by Anonymous, February 26, 2009 10:33 AM

Sometimes bureaucrats get all bound up trying to figure out where to draw the lines, so they stick to the letter of the law. In this case, there might be a compromise. Rather than try to draft rules and regulations on who is exempt from the background check (only to run into some new exception later), how about one simple rule allowing the fees to be waved on some official's authority. Heck, give the authority to the PR guy.

Background checks paid for out of pocket are often required if you're going to be around children, so if this check can count for that too, it could save these drivers a few bucks.

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That's just the sort of clever cover story terrorists would use. Also, many evildoers dress in strange outfits that are not from this season or popular retail stores. Has anyone even thought of doing a urinalysis on the animals? They could be drug mules! We are safer, now.

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The TSA has never followed the principles of logic and intelligence. But you have to admire their adherence to a no exceptions policy- assuming they aren't making exceptions elsewhere.

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This makes perfect sense. Mules are bio-weapons factories.

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Ah, yes, but when some Amish separatist crashes a flaming mule into the side of a school bus full of orphans and nuns, who will be laughing then?

THINK OF THE CHILDREN!!!11!!

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Beaurocracy is a funny thing, ain't it? A beaurocracy is created to deal with a particular problem, but even after it succeeds, the "monster" continues to feed and grow. Unions, for instance. There was a time when they were needed- the early years of the industrial revolution, when people, even children, were being badly exploited. We needed unions, and they got some respect for the working man (woman, child), and they had enough clout to lobby labor laws into existance. We don't need them any more, but they're bigger than ever.

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the TSA makes thousands of exceptions every day. Their idiot policies are so unworkable they operate at the whim of their staff when it comes to what they actually DO.

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Once the muleteers have received their certification, can they use their TSA-issued credentials elsewhere? Because if so, I've got a cunning terrorist plan:

1. Sign up as a volunteer mule-driver on a canal.
2. Get issued with TSA credentials (surely easier for a historical re-enactor than an airport worker)
3. Use genuine TSA-approved credentials to gain access to secure areas in an airport or mass-transit system.
4. ???
5. Profit! (Or terrorize, or whatever).

Only an allergy to saddle leather and mule dander prevents me from putting my plan into effect myself, and bringing the nation to its knees.

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@6 "we don't need unions any more"? ahem: BWAHAHAH!

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I assume the riverboat captains at Disney's Jungle Cruise also have to do this as well? And the train driver at the zoo?

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What is this, the Onion? insanity.

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@troofseeker Unions, for instance. ...... We don't need them any more, but they're bigger than ever.

Unions are not 'bigger than ever'. As of 2008 they represent 12.4 percent of the workforce.

You clearly see unions as waste.I see them as required for the smooth functioning of societies most vital functions. Everything you rely on in daily life - all the goods you rely on - work properly because of union workers.

Airplanes (Pilots and Flight Staff). Electricity (linemen and steamfitters). Fire Engines (fighters and EMTs). Clean hotel rooms (Service employees). Water wells (drillers guild). Bridge builders (steelworkers).

etc etc etc.

You only see the dollars you could be spending on yourself being lost to somebody else's organization.

They see the union as a brotherhood they can rely on to have their back, train them, help them retire, and not have those responsibilities weigh so heavily on them, so they can get to work and focus on making sure our civilization keeps running.

There may be better ways to do things, but for as long as corporate entities offer limited liability to the bosses, I'm foursquare behind the unions. It's only fair.

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How did this turn into a discussion about unions? Please return to the subject at hand.

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Arise, wretched of the earth
Arise, convicts of hunger
Reason thunders in its volcano
This is the eruption of the end
Of the past let us wipe the slate clean
Masses, slaves, arise, arise
The world is about to change its foundation
We are nothing, let us be all
|: This is the final struggle
Let us group together, and tomorrow
The Internationale
Will be the human race :|

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ATTICA ATTICA ATTICA!

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The union discussion might see off topic, but as a member of muledrivers union local 186, i have to say you can't stay neutral on a moving mule.


Maybe the TSA thought they were e-mule copyright pirates?

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I am hoping that some of our readers create phony mule driver TSA ID cards. I will award a BB shirt to the best one.

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now THAT's a worthwhile contest!

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OK, here's a starting point to riff from. Make sure you change it a lot or you'll end up at the bottom of the East River.
http://www.focusink.com/images/teamsters_official_logo.gif

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The tag for the post is civlib,

If the workers civil liberties were being infringed on then the existing union bureaucracy (likely the AFGE) that represents these government workers (and many others who have had the ID for some time already) is going to be knowledgeable on the issue and the civil liberties implications for the workers.

The 'unnecessary bureaucracy' of the union is actually a check to the 'unnecessary bureaucracy' of the TSA.

[/threadjacking]

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This is obviously a hoax. Anyone who has spent any amount of time around these creatures knows that mules can't swim.

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Maybe the TSA thought they were mules.

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I don't think they ride the mules. I think they walk along side.
On beaurocracy again, when employees, i.e. the unskilled new guy, gets paid more than he's worth, the end products cost more than they should, and people start buying cheaper, better Japanese cars, until they cost as much as American cars, then people start buying Korean made cars. Until the wages in Korea rise due to their unions. Maybe one day it'll shift to the Dark Continent, and I hope one day it wall all equalize, worldwide, and everybody gets a good wage.
But for now, if the American Auto Industry is really dying, it's because too many people are making too much money. OMHO

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troof, it's just not that simple. Maybe someday we'll have an appropriate thread, and maybe then you'll have facts on your side rather than tired old canards.

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What a waste of taxpayer money. For shame.

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From my observation, I believe the TSA only picks on groups of people they know can't reasonably fight back. Mule drivers at period parks are a perfect target. Your average American is the other.

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We gotta just say no.
Anyone comes trying to cart the workers off to jail who refuse the TSA checks, it's open fire.

That's what the second amendment was for. Let's see those NRA crazies start putting their guns where their mouths are and start flexing their muscle for the cause of freedom.

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This is Ass-inine, literally :)

Government just sucks, it continually sets up rules that are so inflexiable that common sense is virtually outlawed.

Wow I feel safer. Tools.

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We needed unions, and they got some respect for the working man (woman, child), and they had enough clout to lobby labor laws into existance. We don't need them any more, but they're bigger than ever.
"You can't treat the working man this way. One day, we'll form a union and get the fair and equitable treatment we deserve! Then we'll go too far, and get corrupt and shiftless, and the Japanese will eat us alive!" -- Springfield, 1909

c.f. Iron law of oligarchy, Political Parties

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Transportation Worker's Identification Credential (TWIC card) is a requirement for all people working in a transportation industry. All professional mariners, aviators, commercial haulers, etc are required to pay the Lockheed Martin Corporation (note: not the TSA) about $140.00 for the pleasure of a federal background check and , if clean, get a card valid for 5 years.
Of course, most federal agencies DO NOT recognize the TWIC as a valid form of ID.
The TWIC is nothing more than a corporate welfare scheme posing as an anti-terrorist program. Lockheed Martin shareholders should give thanks to GWB.

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#36 posted by bp, February 26, 2009 3:07 PM

@ 35 Well said, CapnSoggy. They got my 138 clams so that, starting Saturday, I can continue to go to work just like I have been doing for the last five years. In that time I have also seen my employer receive buckets full of federal dollars to install cameras in employee breaks rooms and employee parking lots under the pretense of enhanced security. Make no mistake about it, there is BIG money in security, and large companies are very diligent about finding ways to get a slice of any government pie that is being divvied up.

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And this is the government we want to put in charge of healthcare?

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@ Cowboy Bill #37:

Tell ya what, we'll make sure that the hospitals don't fall under the jurisdiction of the TSA.

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They're just tryin' to protect the Larry Holmes Office building. Keep up the good work, TSA!
And the gov't we have now is the one we want to put in charge of healthcare, the last one gave us the TSA.

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There's a dam just up the river from where the canal boat runs at the park. If the terrorist mule drivers blew up the dam, it would take out the city of Easton and the Crayola factory. Look at the bigger picture. Early childhood education is centered around crayons. The fate of the North American education system is on the line here, people! The TSA is just protecting the children.

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ZOMG you guys are all idiots. Didn't u read about the horse-shoe bomber? He was like totally building bombs inside horse-shoes. Whose to say someone cant' do the same to mule-shoes? huh? anyoine think of that? Nuh? DIDN"T THINK SO.

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And this is the government we want to put in charge of healthcare?

No, this is the TSA. You know that idiotic organisation set up by the last administration? Obama has been in for 5 weeks. You can't expect him to have fixed all the problems G.W created quite yet.

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@43 Uh, I think the TSA existed before Dubya. I mean, we had security checkpoints in airports long before him. They just had their powers absurdly expanded under Dubya and went on a giant power trip because of it. And #35 up there says it's not the TSA at all, but rather Lockheed Martin - how an aviation company got the right to take money for a government ID, I have NO clue, but I wouldn't be surprised if Dubya-era cronyism was involved.

@25 The mules don't swim. They walk alongside the river, pulling the boat by ropes. It was pretty common (whether with mules or horses or oxen) in colonial times.

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No, Ornith, the TSA was created by the Bush Administration. Security was not done by a federal agency before 9/11. And the powers of the security people at airports were strictly limited.

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"The Transportation Security Administration (TSA) is a U.S. government agency that was created as part of the Aviation and Transportation Security Act passed by the U.S. Congress and signed into law by President George W. Bush on November 19, 2001." - Wikipedia article

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In case some are doubting, here the TSA announces Lockheed Martin's role in the TWIC program:

http://www.tsa.gov/press/releases/2007/press_release_01292007.shtm

Note that the linked article indicates that nearly everyone who is required to get the TWIC card has already been checked "against terrorist watch lists and immigration data sets."

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I've got a mule
Her name is Sal
Fifteen years on the Erie Ca--wait, you want to see what?

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#49 posted by Anonymous, March 1, 2009 7:15 PM

Surely the TSA could just use the George Armstrong Custer method and spot the genuine mule-skinners by their hands (which, presumably, have biometric chips implanted)?

Admittedly, history has since cast doubt on Custer's methods for evaluating anything...

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#51 posted by neward, March 2, 2009 5:26 AM

I also went here on a field trip, I grew up on the other side of the Lehigh Valley. I'm a bit irked by the use of the word "Colonial" when describing their cloths... the Lehigh Canal wasn't finished until 1829, 53 years after independance and during the rapidly changing world of the industrial revolution. Imagine if someone was describing a country that was a colony 53 years ago as "colonial"!

Sadly, there are no American Studies majors fact-checking CNN articles.

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