The Pen Which Shall Never Be Lost

Macetech calls this "The Pen Which Shall Never Be Lost."

Whatever is stealing pens will hopefully take some time to gnaw through that rope, I'll get a chance to actually use the pen a few times.

[#1 posted by Moriarty , February 26, 2009 4:39 PM]

Good luck hanging on to that cap.

[#2 posted by Anonymous , February 26, 2009 4:43 PM]

Sadly in the evolutionary arms race of office stationary theft/ongoing posession, this is trumped by scissors, which are themselves also frequently stolen

[#3 posted by grimc , February 26, 2009 4:51 PM]

This Canadian concept is much more practical.

[#4 posted by slgalt , February 26, 2009 5:12 PM]

I was just going to post that #2.

"Who took my pen?!!"

[#5 posted by Takuan , February 26, 2009 5:19 PM]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZvGwr5wj8A8

[#6 posted by Fred H , February 26, 2009 5:20 PM]

"WHATEVER (emphasis mine) is stealing..."
What, like it's a rat who got a deal to write a three-volume autobiography? You know the second volume would dwell too long on cheese.

[#7 posted by Chevan , February 26, 2009 5:23 PM]

I can't find it again, but I once saw a picture of an anti-theft system a guy rigged up for a Sharpie.

He set the cap to the Sharpie into a concrete block, sticking up.

[#8 posted by Anonymous , February 26, 2009 5:25 PM]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cFEUy8NzazE

Kids In The Hall were WAY ahead of the curve.

[#9 posted by Tony Moore , February 26, 2009 5:36 PM]

i had to do something similar to keep my cat from stealing the kneaded erasers from my drafting table. I tried keeping them in a drawer instead of out with my other supplies, but between my own lack of complete total diligence and the cat's drive to get into the drawer and abscond with them, i lost 3 brand new erasers in about a week, and probably a total of 5 in a month. i could turn my back for merely a few seconds, even staying in the same room, and they'd be gone. i tied a length of string to my table with a loop at the opposite end, and kneaded the eraser around the loop. Now, neither the cat nor my own negligence will find me without one again.

-T

[#10 posted by i_prefer_yeti , February 26, 2009 5:41 PM]

Pffft, why not just implant a micro-rfid tag in the pen & set up a - I dunno - 4 ft active proximity area around the desk rigged to a vibration unit in the pen so it wiggles like crazy when it's been taken away from it's assigned area?

Sheesh.

[#11 posted by grimc , February 26, 2009 5:44 PM]

@takuan

The best part of that whole thing is that Swingline got so many requests for a red stapler (which they didn't make) that they started making them.

[#12 posted by Mope , February 26, 2009 5:45 PM]

Kids in the Hall....
www.metacafe.com/watch/117873/kids_in_the_hall_my_pen/

[#13 posted by fnc , February 26, 2009 5:45 PM]

I have a Pentel RSVP on my desk now that has, literally, given me over four years of service. I did not steal it.

[#14 posted by Mim , February 26, 2009 5:45 PM]

Wouldn't this post be more appropriate over in BBGadgets?

[#15 posted by Mope , February 26, 2009 5:47 PM]

#2 - missed that you had posted it already...

[#16 posted by JudgeDredd , February 26, 2009 5:55 PM]

Wow! This would come in handy at place like banks and supermarkets.

[#17 posted by andyhavens , February 26, 2009 6:15 PM]

Reminds me...

Back 15 years ago or so, when I was still doing some manual cut-and-paste for design work, I bought a really nice pair of art shears. They got stolen off my desk at work, so I bought another pair. They got stolen, too.

The third pair I labeled with my name, using white out, on one handle, and the words, "Please do not steal" on the other.

I had that pair for 10 years.

[#18 posted by bobk , February 26, 2009 6:27 PM]

I always leave out a decoy stapler that doesn't work available for loan while I am away. I also collect dried out pens and leave them in a cup handy for those who need them.

[#19 posted by LOSERKID , February 26, 2009 6:35 PM]

why is is the pen so important???????

[#20 posted by Timothy Hutton , February 26, 2009 6:40 PM]

I ran a small test a few jobs ago to see how long a pen would last. I took care to keep track of that pen, and used only that pen while at work until the ink ran out. It took six months to use up the ink in the pen. It was a Pilot Better Retractable Ballpoint pen. Those were great pens, but too expensive to be used as disposable at $2/each...

Pilot sells refills for them, $2 for two refills.

[#21 posted by Uncle Geo , February 26, 2009 6:42 PM]

I bought some bank pens with the little chain, hacked off the pens (I didn't care what happened to them), drilled holes in my remotes and glued them to the end table to keep the little ones form running off with the remotes.

One day. Gone. All of 'em.

Now the kids steal the AAs out of the remotes for their game controllers and just toss the back cover. We have a zillion remotes and can't find a back cover for any of 'em. Even the game controllers don't have back covers.

I know, someday, that I'll find all the back covers... with all the lone socks.

[#22 posted by dougrogers , February 26, 2009 6:50 PM]

My commercial art teacher, in art school kept a roll of masking tape chained to a cannonball at the front of the room. I have my kitchen shears chained to the wall. Despite having a dozen pairs of scissors in our house, my kitchen shears are the only ones anyone can ever find.

[#23 posted by dainel , February 26, 2009 6:51 PM]

I confess. I'm a pen thief in the office. I sit at my colleagues desks, use their pen, and the pen will frequently end up on another desk. They rarely end up on my own desk though. So I guess I'm more of a pen redistributor. Using me as transport, the pens are able to travel from desk to desk, exploring the whole office.

[#24 posted by dougrogers , February 26, 2009 6:53 PM]

I cleaned my wife's car, as a favour, before we were married. I found 36 pens.

[#25 posted by Anonymous , February 26, 2009 7:32 PM]

The Pentel R.S.V.P is my favourite pen to use, and, as a result, seems to be the one that is always missing.

[#26 posted by dw_funk , February 26, 2009 7:37 PM]

In my friends' room, they've done the same thing with a lighter a few times. Even doing that, lighters inevitably disappear eventually. I've found that if I get myself something sufficiently nice (an excellent pen, a zippo), I'll manage to keep it around for much longer.

On the other hand, it's a lot easier to just steal the closest Bic when it's time for a cigarette or a note...

[#27 posted by Jake0748 , February 26, 2009 7:45 PM]

good idea, but why waste it on such a cheap ass pen?

[#28 posted by mesrop , February 26, 2009 8:00 PM]

A couple of jobs back my desk was in the lobby of my work place. I had people constantly passing by. I also always needed a permanent marker to write on CDs I had just burnt. I tethered the cap to my keyboard wire. No one would dare take a permanent marker with out the cap and I never lost the cap either.

[#29 posted by alowishus , February 26, 2009 8:12 PM]

Who uses pens anymore?

[#30 posted by Shelby Davis , February 26, 2009 8:16 PM]

I lost several flash drives through negligence (and eventual stealing/scrounging, I suppose, as they would be gone from the campus computer the next day). Eventually I tied the flash drive to my back pack strap. Awkward to use at home, but since it was primarily for use at the college library, and I always hove my pack onto the desk when using the computers, it worked okay.

[#31 posted by Anonymous , February 26, 2009 8:43 PM]

A better name would be "The Pen That Shall Never Be Lost," which is grammatically correct.

[#32 posted by heyfred , February 26, 2009 9:11 PM]

Is this guy Dwight Shrute? If I worked with this person, I would make it a point to steal a pen from him each and every day and replace it with some dried up Flair. This is how he spent his day? And was so proud that he had to photograph it and post it on the neterweb? And for that pen?

I bet he writes with serifs.

[#33 posted by artbot , February 26, 2009 9:19 PM]

#32 - I bet he takes his own toilet paper in the can with him, too - on a belt hangar.

[#34 posted by Anonymous , February 26, 2009 10:03 PM]

Last time my pen was taken, I walked around the office screaming in a panic "My pen! My pennn!" I was promptly given a new pen and sent home for the day, the boss giving me a mental health day. I am saddened that no one in my office knows Kids in the Hall.

[#35 posted by macegr , February 26, 2009 11:02 PM]

Oh...wow. Boingboinged. This is actually an inside joke. I complained to someone about my pens disappearing (probably due to leaving them various places), and they said they just tape on a string. So I grabbed some rope and heatshrink and made this as a joke.

[#36 posted by mattofdoom , February 27, 2009 12:34 AM]

Anybody else think this guy is setting himself up to loose his desk drawer?

[#37 posted by kdeldycke , February 27, 2009 1:16 AM]

This reminds me Arthur Lipsett, who used a 30-foot chain and a padlock to keep track of all his stuffs.

[#38 posted by Gilbert Wham , February 27, 2009 1:16 AM]

See, I tied the remotes to the coffee table with string, and people look at me like I'm crazy. Do THEY know where their remotes are at all times? I think not.

[#39 posted by JoshP , February 27, 2009 5:03 AM]

I did this with a lighter by my work lamp. The only upgrade was my experimenting with cordage design, I used waxed thread that I wound up from single strand. And electrical tape. So no more looking for fire while I'm sitting and doing at night. Except now the lighters dead...sigh.

[#40 posted by Peter K. , February 27, 2009 5:36 AM]

In my wife's previous employ they taped the plastic flatware from takeout food to pens. Freed the writing implements from the inconvenient tethering, but still effectively deterred folks from walking off with the things.

[#41 posted by Bekah , February 27, 2009 6:19 AM]

@#31 Heavens! don't use microsoft word as your grammatical guide. That/which is at best a regional distinction.

[#42 posted by pseudonym , February 27, 2009 6:20 AM]

The real solution involves either a razor blade or a mouse trap.

[#43 posted by Nancy Jane Moore , February 27, 2009 7:19 AM]

In an office where I worked many years ago -- I was the boss, God help me -- the secretaries got tired of losing their pens. They typed up little labels with their names on them and taped them on the pens.

And so it came to pass that I had a whole drawer full of pens labeled "Josie" and "Betty."

[#44 posted by oink54321 , February 27, 2009 7:51 AM]

You and Alan Turing's tea cup.

[#45 posted by Anonymous , February 27, 2009 8:01 AM]

I had a pen that would always end up back at my desk. I made it myself so people associated it with me. No matter where I forgot it, someone would bring it by my desk. The best part: sometimes people who had never seen me with the pen would stop by and say "This must be yours."

[#46 posted by Bekah , February 27, 2009 8:04 AM]

I just scatter pens around me at a density that bears some relation to the function of a space ;)

[#47 posted by PFlint , February 27, 2009 8:43 AM]

The Pen That/Which Shall Never Be Lost is the pen at our pediatrician. It's a novelty pen as big as an enchilada. No one would willingly or accidentally walk away with that pen. We often forget about psycho/social methods.

[#48 posted by Ponchyan , February 27, 2009 9:42 AM]

#31 - Thank you.
#41 - You are incorrect. "That" precedes restrictive clauses. "Which" precedes nonrestrictive clauses. In this case, having the property of, "shall never be lost," defines the uniqueness of and identifies this particular pen.

[#49 posted by Bekah , February 27, 2009 3:53 PM]

#48 No, not incorrect, this is a regional distinction in english. Many forms of english do the restrictive non restrictive with a comma not a distinction between which and that

[#50 posted by bobk , February 27, 2009 8:19 PM]

For students who didn't bring pens to school I bought a "pen of shame," a novelty pen that was a large plastic mackerel with a pen glued into its mouth.
It didn't solve the problem because they all "forgot" their pens so that they could write with the fish.
Oh, well.

[#51 posted by pupdog , February 27, 2009 11:12 PM]

Wait, so we've got some sort of S&M Pen setup, and people are arguing Grammar?

THIS is what the internet is for.

[#52 posted by Bekah , February 28, 2009 12:11 AM]

#51 :D point taken - but I do keep my pen on a little leather leash with a cute leather collar does that make up for arguing over grammar? ;)