Masked man sticks up convenience store with a Klingon sword
A masked man armed with a Klingon Batleth robbed a 7-11, then tried it again at another convenience store, where the clerks laughed him out of the room.
The first robbery was reported at 1:50 a.m., at 145 N Spruce St. The clerk told police a white man in his 20s, wearing a black mask, black jacket, and blue jeans, entered the store with a weapon the clerk recognized from the Star Trek TV series.Masked Man Robs Convenience Stores With Klingon Sword: Clerks Recognize Sword As BatlethThe robber demanded money and left with an undisclosed amount.
A half hour later, police received a call from a 7-Eleven at 2407 N. Union Blvd., where a man matching the previous description entered the store with a similar weapon. He also demanded money from the store clerk. The clerk refused and the robber "transported" himself out of the store on foot.
Both clerks described the weapon as a Star Trek Klingon-type sword, called a "Batleth."
Update: JJR1971 for the win in the comments: "He should count himself lucky none of the clerks produced crude, late 20th century projectile weapons by way of response."
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He should count himself lucky none of the clerks produced crude, late 20th century projectile weapons by way of response.
Both clerks recognized it as a Klingon weapon?
I think I like the 21st century.
I think something was set on 'stun' before the incidents in question.
only works half the time, tho.
The "bat'leth" made it to #3 on Cracked's list of the 11 Most Retarded Fictional Weapons.
But if you actually make one and use it to unsuccessfully hold up a convenience store does it move into the realm of actual retarded weapon?
Surveillance video, please!
That's what 7-Eleven gets for not carrying prune juice!
After this guy gets caught he should be sentenced to hard labor in Rura Penthe.
The sad thing is that both of the convenience store clerks were able to recognize it and describe it as such.
naw, he should just have to wear a placard around his neck for the rest of life: "Yeah, I'm the guy that tried to rob a store with...."
hmmf. That man had no honour.
It would have served the robber right if one of the clerks then whipped out a gun and told him that "Today is a good day to die".
Some of the user comments in that link are COMEDY GOLD:
"I think 7-Eleven should require all clerks to keep Tribbles behind the counter, in case of future attempts."
"The economy is so bad, even the Star Trek geeks are resorting to crime... "
"HEY! You know, a little levity is not considered harmful. Why was this line removed: "and the suspect transported himself out of the store on foot." "
"Today is a good day to rob!"
ROFL!
Wasn't one of these turned into British police on a 'knife amnesty'. Oh yes...
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-387680/Lethal-Star-Trek-blade-seized-knives-amnesty.html
Truth is stranger than fiction.
Urban Legends are just things that reality hasn't caught up to yet.
I think I'm in love.
-abs has always had a thing for the pseudo-japanese klingons, and for the bat'leth, even if it is the 3rd suckiest fictional weapon evar
http://timedoctor.org/2009/01/david-lynchs-disturbingly-nsfw-sttng-remix/
If you're at work and are tempted to watch, I recommend #4!
I double-posted this (oops), so I deleted mine. Here's the only comment I got:
#1 posted by grimc , February 4, 2009 12:17 PM
Knocking over a 7-11 with a gun = robbing.
Knocking over a 7-11 with a bat'leth = pillaging.
Fascinating how most people do not act on the basis of reality but the perception of reality. Just as most people wouldn't take a "Starfleet Admiral" seriously, but will poop their pants when threatened with an audit by the taxman -- yet the supposed authority of both derives from those officials wearing Fancy Hats.
Only a PetaQ would attack an unarmed human...
If would love to get robbed by the Duras sisters.
@ Zuzu #18:
Maybe, but the average bat'leth owner is about as menacing as the Star Wars Kid.
Do you think that might have something to do with the fact that the IRS actually exists and the Federation does not? (Though you got me thinking about what a "Taxman Hat" would look like.)
"Your primitive fictional weapon is no match for my far superior sarcastic laughter."
Saw this story this morning, thought it was amusing, but didn't really pay attention to the street names or look at the link.
Then the local evening news comes on with this as it's lead story. The second store's just a mile away from home. Even more amusing than I thought.
I know a couple who occasionally dress as klingons for Purim, but they carry knives. not batleths.
JamesPadraicR
What is that, a 1/3-scale replica?
Whadda dork! Is he wearing a Beavis and Butthead t-shirt under that hoody?
It's kind of on the small side for a Bat'leth.
Good thing none of the clerks were wearing red.
Worst. Robbery. Ever.
well..there's the guy who tried to hold up a bank with nunchaku and knocked himself out...
Don't forget the guy who tried to rob a donut shop. I've never seen a man so quickly taken down by so many cops.
@Zuzu #27:
So you're saying it's silly that people worry about actual organizations that have been delegated authority by actual people but don't worry about hypothetical ones that haven't?
If I don't pay my taxes I will likely go to jail. There is no "imagined" about it. If I choose not to respect the authority of a self-appointed Starfleet Admiral the worst that is likely to happen to me is getting booted out of the convention hall.
Paging Xopher: About that consensus we reached yesterday...
Sounds like the KDC (Klingon Diplomatic Corps) could get some mileage by volunteering for 'security' duty in full Klingon drag (hopefully including some Kevlar(TM) in case a real freelance socialist shows up).