Charts: 4

(Charles Platt is a guest blogger)

Still on the topic of population and mortality (more or less), here is some light relief. I redraw the chart from a source that I found at www.graphjam.com.

[#1 posted by Takuan , January 30, 2009 7:46 PM]

wouldn't it go down? Why would zombies fear other zombies?

[#2 posted by Tenn , January 30, 2009 7:50 PM]

Yeah, it seems like 20% zombies would be scaring the various bodily fluids out of people well enough. Perhaps around the 40% mark it would begin to go down? Probably a mathematical way to figure this out.

[#3 posted by Moriarty , January 30, 2009 8:12 PM]

Yeah, this seems very inaccurate. If we're talking about "total amount of terror," it should go down the more people get zombified. If, as seems more likely, we're talking about the amount of terror in the average non-zombie, it still wouldn't be a smooth curve like that. It would plateau pretty damn early. The difference between 0% and 10% would be a lot bigger than the difference between 10% and 90%. And 100% wouldn't be zero terror, it would just be N/A: there is no more population.

[#4 posted by Charles Platt , January 30, 2009 8:46 PM]

I think the chart assumes that zombies are unable to feel terror because they are--well, zombies. In addition the term "mortal terror" would seem to apply to--well, mortals.

[#5 posted by nanuq , January 30, 2009 8:47 PM]

Your graph will change depending on the species of zombies used. Are you talking about the shambling livingdeadium georgeromerocus or the faster moving livingdeadium 28dayslaterus? The first type of zombie is slower moving but can last forever without food so they keep going forever. The second kind is faster moving but become comatose when there's no more available humans to consume. As far as terror goes, the first kind will keep going forever so the relationship between terror and zombie percentage is linear. For the second kind, the relationship is an inverse U-curve with fear going down as zombies become more sluggish and easier to escape.

Not that I spend a lot of time thinking about things like this...

[#6 posted by Takuan , January 30, 2009 9:06 PM]

well,it's troublesome that there seems to be an implicit denial of the human rights of the zombies in your reasoning. Surely, even a humble zombie should be permitted the right to terror - if it wanted to? Also there is an aspect of vitalism in the use of "mortal". In all fairness, should not re-animated tissue be considered "mortal" so long as there is no ancillary ectoplasmic excursion?

[#7 posted by Anonymous , January 30, 2009 9:44 PM]

I believe that the chart might indicate levels of terror experienced by the remaining human population, which would be dwindling over time. If that was true, as the situation became more desperate, with less chance of reversal comes a growing level of fear for one's continuing existence. Therefore, this chart could be accurate as is.

[#8 posted by W. James Au , January 30, 2009 10:26 PM]

Historically, I actually think terror over zombies is highest at the 10-20% cohort, when the population begins hearing regular but unconfirmed, inconsistent rumors of zombies and instances of brain eating, but isn't quite sure who, what, or why, or even if they are occurring. That is a recipe for unchecked terror. Once the zombie population passes 20% the total, however, they will be identified sufficiently enough such that the surviving populace can begin making siege or escape plans, acquiring weapons, and making other rational cost-benefit decisions. That's when terror gives way to resolve.

[#9 posted by Ian Holmes , January 30, 2009 10:32 PM]

uh, it bothers me that no-one has commented on the complete lack of calibration of the terror axis

what are the units of terror? please provide reference points such as "I'm spending Christmas with Republican in-laws", "The remote-operated drone that I'm flying has just been shot at" and "an octopus is sucking off my scuba mask".

[#10 posted by Takuan , January 30, 2009 10:39 PM]

what nonsense, that was just an invitation to a little private intimacy, attack, my third foot!

[#11 posted by Ian Holmes , January 30, 2009 10:46 PM]

Zombie bill of rights:
-right to assemble
-right to disassemble
-freedom of incoherent speech
-protection from quartering (of body)
-trial by fire
-congressional pay raises

[#12 posted by Oscar Bucher , January 30, 2009 11:07 PM]

You may laugh but they are out there. Don't ignore the signs!

http://www.kxan.com/dpp/news/Road_signs_warn_of_zombies

[#13 posted by Keeper of the Lantern , January 31, 2009 12:17 AM]

Actually, if you study and Zombie film you'll notice that Zombies never attack each other. In fact, they appear to live in perfect harmony. It's the living they don't like: They're dangerous and cause wars and probably caused the zombies in the first place.

Note this holds for The Planet of the Apes, who were right to try to kill all the talking humans: It was talking humans who had wrecked the world and indeed escaped talking humans blew it up again in movie 2, Underneath the Planet of the Apes.

[#14 posted by tsteele999 , January 31, 2009 6:41 AM]

I tried to head over to graphjam.com but Google says it is a malware site and won't let you in.

[#15 posted by seer , January 31, 2009 8:01 AM]

...so i guess that last bar is actually a punchline.

[#16 posted by Patient , January 31, 2009 9:09 PM]

Charles, I just submitted a series of charts that I think you would enjoy via the submission tool.

If you are unable to view submissions via the suggestion form, I can link them here, let me know.

-Patient

[#17 posted by Drabula , February 1, 2009 1:35 AM]

I think the chart's just hilarious. Plain and simple. BUT as to it's defence I don't think anyone has brought up the fact that such a chart takes into account portions of the mortal population who remain ignorant of the zombie plague up to the very end. In other words, their zero terror will factor in even as it has hit a peak somewhere else (as the 50th last person on Earth has their windpipe torn out etc).

Of course theoretically a hermit in the deep woods might never know of it and thus 100% terror would never be acheived.......in other words if a zombie moans and no one's there to hear it does it make a sound?

[#18 posted by neward , February 5, 2009 6:44 AM]

...this is all well and good but really begging the question of self-determination rights for the zombie population.

[#19 posted by Takuan , February 5, 2009 7:01 AM]

snardpick alert