New Boing Boing t-shirt by COOP!
BB bosom buddies COOP and Ruth have issued a new t-shirt featuring COOP's incredible interpretation of the lovely and talented Jackhammer Jill! This version is long-sleeved and printed on a dark gray American Apparel cotton shirt with the BB logo down the left sleeve. (The real shirt is darker than the mock-up pictured above.) Ruth says she'll do her darndest to ship them in time for the holidays but she can't promise. Only 69 of these shirts are available so act fast! Sizes small through XXL. COOP's long-sleeved Boing Boing t-shirt
the latest
latest episodes
Uh-huh.
$36.00 for the shirt, $12.50 for shipping and handling. And if you're in California, sales tax as well.
Next.
Ugh, tell me about it. So desirable, but I don't have 53 dollars lying about for a shirt, even one this awesome.
Stuff it, Smoobly. I'm up to here with people complaining about the price of limited-edition shirts.
I'll make the same offer I've made with other Boing Boing shirts: if you don't like the price, go pick up a cheaper shirt from any place that isn't Wal-Mart, and create your own Boing Boing design on it. If you like how it comes out, send us a photo and we'll publish it (unless it's seriously unpleasant or offensive).
art, not shirt
Mobilesworking, the world is full of nifty things I can't afford, but I don't feel obliged to say so in every comment thread about them.
Did I make it clear that the offer in comment #3 is open to everyone?
Also, apologies if I sounded grumpy. It's just that we get this exact same discussion every time a Boing Boing shirt or hoodie gets mentioned, and too many of them turn into me-too pile-ons.
Get a shirt from Target or Costco or the Salvation Army. Wreak a boingish design upon it. Send a photo. If your design involves disemvowelling, make sure that none of the excised vowels was covering a critical area of your anatomy. If you do find you've exposed a critical area of your anatomy, please make sure that no live kittens are harmed in the course of covering it up.
Thank you.
after poetry contest, art contest?
I can afford to give COOP a thumbs up for a job well done!
That's a 3-run shirt: one for black, one for red (front), and one for the red sleeve — unless silkscreen technology has developed some weird way to align and run the front and the sleeve with one swipe. So $36 is not out of line. I doubt it's some cheap hot iron job. If they had a XXXLong I'd get one.
Not that I'm that enormous, but I like my T's to be both roomy and cool, in one fell swipe.
Whoops. 4-run: white.
Thank you, Buddy66 - you're absolutely right here.
Not only do American Apparel shirt blanks cost more, there's a separate setup fee for the sleeve printing. And yes, that brings this project in at four colors.
We're not trying to hose anyone on the price, I promise.
Buddy66 @9: Silkscreen t-shirt printing technology has evolved, but in a weird direction. I talked about this a while back in the comments on the guerrilla silkscreening how-to segment on BBTV.
You know the kind of elaborately fiendish devices villains build in hopes of killing James Bond? Imagine that Doctor Octopus bought one secondhand, stripped it down, and rebuilt it as a multi-pass printing device. It'd come out looking like this.
However, they still can't print multiple colors in one pass.
oh no, that's the device for detecting Malignity by dropping pieces of buttered toast on carpet.
Takuan, I hadn't heard that Malignity came into buttered-toast problems.
So what is the story behind Jackhammer Jill?
I closed shop long before the technology started to resemble something in a Universal Studios' monster movie, but I do remember multi-color jobs that almost drove me nuts; because if you're going to screw up, it's going to be on that last color, every goddamn time!
There was a bar across the street that did a good business after one of those jobs, regardless of its outcome.
yeah, what is Jill's Origin?
I want to know too! Where's Jill from?
(I have a COOP alien girl on my bike helmet. best decoration Ever!)
I also vote for art contest ;)
(0,0)
sorry
Jill makes Rosie the Riveter look like a sissy.
To be clear, me@18 is my awful math-related joke about Jill's Origin.. and not the badly drawn ascii bikini that it may appear to be
Looked at it, and somewhere in my brain I heard James Brown yell "good god!" :9
Maybe COOP will release this as a print sometime in the future, for those folks who couldn't nab a shirt?
Oh Arkizzle - that makes more sense - I had gone somewhere very different!
Glad I mentioned it so. If I had a more innocent mind, and hadn't spotted the alternate possibility, you might all have taken me for a cad!
worth an XKCD strip
hah!
Jackhammer Jill was born in the design studio of our amazing pals eBoy. Mark fell in love with her back in 1999 and the rest is history.
mmm, who did little plastic people figures before Lego?
So is this sold out now, or have I messed up my credit card # four times?
Well I just bought one. It's a limited edition COOP! Jackhammer Jill is cute, and I like to promote Boing Boing (not that you guys need my help).
That being said if time permits I am going to take Teresa up on her "will publish PIX of DIY BB T" offer. I am tempted to try to toe the "seriously unpleasant or offensive" line, but I might want to wear the shirt, and I am sure BB's limit is way past what I would be caught wearing...Sigh
Fifth time was lucky! Why are CC #'s so damn hard to read? My eyesight isn't perfect I know, but this gold impress on a gold card just seems silly.
@#20
Bikini? I thought it was an owl.
David Carroll @29, if you do, you'll be the first, and so have greater glory.
Dimmer @30, I've been under the impression that it's to make it harder to read the number. The owner has the right and opportunity to sit and peer at it for a long time, turning it back and forth to catch the light. Most potential malfeasants have it for brief periods, and have to be unobtrusive about taking down the number. A metallic-on-metallic finish has the additional virtue of being harder to xerox.
Thank you David.
Still, she needs a story...
Not what she is, but WHO she is.
Malex, an owl is much more innocent than boobs or dirty ol' maths.
Aww :)
,_ _,
(0,0)
Hoot!
I tried to do a full-on ascii owl but BB's cursed non-fixed-space font won't let me.
Boo! again, I say!
She was a mathematician, who gave it all up for breakin' stuff.
OR
(O,O)
Hooters!
You decide :)
literary contest: Jackhammer Jill's back story
"it was a dark and stormy night.
...and mathermatician Jill sat, high in her lonely tower, solving the riddles of the universe.
When suddenly..
Was merely engaging in a bit of good-natured whingeing. I'm new to the comment threads and thus ig'nant of the site's history with price-gripers. Certainly didn't meant to step on anyone's toes, least of all the fine folks at COOP. Cheers.
Serious question, Moderator. Why $12.50 for s/h? The cost for a high quality limited run long sleeve shirt is completely reasonable. I just don't understand the shipping rate. Cost me less to ship a huge box of presents home for Chridtmas.
what? she's now the shipper/receiver?
Art contest?
How about flash animations demonstrating why Jill, after her augmentation surgery, decided she might be better off wearing a sports bra while operating a pneumatic drill, rather than a wonderbra, or indeed an owl-skin bikini?
that jill is a dirty little whore! she needs to be put across my knee, where the the hand of guidance can inspire redness and swelling somewhere about the vicinity of the seat of knowledge. til my palm hurts. after a long and arduous bout of rasslin. then cake. lots of cake. and teresa, congrats on your promotion to shipping and receiving! hope it came with a big raise! ( min-t chuckles mildly to himseff)
minT,
Jill would kick your ass.
ah...sigh...yesss....
i wouldnt have it any other way, bro.
A draught of bromide for MinTphreah...
:P
et tu, Takuan?
and i will win your alleged "art" contest! ha!
The sleeve print should be flipped. If you were driving, and your arm was resting on the driver's side window, the print would be upside down.
I learned this rule of thumb when designing a t-shirt for a truck driver.
what?I can't enjoy the mental image of Min T getting spanked?
'course you can - but you're conflating the 2 images - MinT is getting kicked up the arse.
mmmmm...conflation....
Well, if you really ~must~ conflate, MinT gets kicked up the arse until it inspires "redness and swelling somewhere about the vicinity of the seat of knowledge"...
satisfied now?
mmmm...swelling......
can we get back to writing the Jsckhammer Jill story now?
hmmm...
it was a dark and stormy night...
...and mathermatician Jill sat, high in her lonely tower, solving the riddles of the universe.
When suddenly...
above the wailing and the buffeting of the wind, above the ter-wit ter-w00ting of the devillish bikini owls, she heard...
a shot ring out!
It was Bell's Whiskey. It burned the back of her throat, but she liked it.
OW!
sticking her head out of the tower's only, tiny window, squinting against the terrible, lashing New Labour rain, she saw MinTphresh squelchily limping away through the mire... and in the trees, his gun still smoking...
Then, she heard another sound altogether. Like a steampowered engine, put-put-putting through the night.
She stretched herself out the window, and peered around to the right. Careful not to lose her grip, and fall to her death hundreds of feet below - she strained until she could just make out an airship, coming out of the stormy clouds.
(this appears to be getting out of hand)
(d'you think they had this sort of trouble getting the gospels to pull together?)
a tinkling noise at her feet caused her to look down. A pair of brass and leather goggles lay there in the loam.
Not to distract you from Jill's story, but I would like to respond about the shipping cost for the shirt.
Our site figures shipping based on merchandise subtotal, not individual items because package configuration varies so much (everything has a different weight, plus a book/license plate/cd case won't fit with a poster).
For the most part this works out, but we often lose money on orders shipping more than one package for a single shipping charge.
A short sleeved shirt will fit in the USPS Flat Rate envelope, but long sleeved shirt won't, so postage is more.
One consolation: you can ship up to $79 in merchandise for that $12.50 charge.
good night
http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=0fEHguhykD8&feature=related
yeah! Miriam Makeba :)
Night! More Jilling tomorrow.
There was no sound. The air displacement vehicle was absolutely silent as it approached menacingly through the fog. She leaned out of the window--seemingly in some sort of existentialist attitude--and mumbled under her breath, "Bring it on."
As she bent to pick up the goggles, a clattering sound announced the arrival of a rope ladder, cast down to her window. She stood up and looking around the room for anything she might need, she grabbed her slide rule, a ball of twine and a thick book of parchment - just remembering a clutch of pencils at the last second.
Throwing her things into a backpack, she scrambled out onto the ledge and up the ladder, without a thought of who might be at the top.
As she rose higher, the wind buffeted her and clawed at her clothing. Finally, about halfway up, and almost as an after thought, she looked up and saw the ship; a symphony of wood, brass and cloth, lit up by a thousand flickering lights, like a fat, heavy firefly - straining at its anchor ropes - ready to defy gravity at any moment and leap forth into the raging sky.
She felt molested by the terrible wind. She pulled one hand up and then the other and, trying to "pull it together" (as Selka would say}, she thought, of course, of her daughter. Born of an unknown race, an unkown phylum, her mind raced to imagine what it would be like if she were still here. What if her "father" had not taken her with him.
She looked up. The ship was real.
That's a darn good graphic! Well Done. Thanks for the post.
it was then that she looked me square in the eyes, her dewy lips parsed and pouty. "Here." she said, "Take this hairbrush." She then lay , prostrate across my lap, "you know what to do with it, don't you?" she commanded, coyly.
It was then I dragged the stiff bristles across her mons de Venus then thrusting my entire self against her body, nary the brush between us, drawing a few blood pinpriks. It was then her eyes glowed fiercely in the moonlight, eyeballs an unholy shade of blue. the undead.
*Flash*
A bolt of lightning arc'd across the sky, making contact with the balloon and spreading across its width like a beast unleashed.
Somehow, defying basic laws of circuits, electric fingers scrabbled wildly around the webbing securing the balloon to the gondola, searching for earth. Immediately, before the canvas skin could overheat and ignite, the current was drawn into the special copper lacing, woven through the network of ropes for just this purpose. Voltage raged across the surface of the balloon, down the metal race and into the airship's huge capacitors.
As the sky discharged the last of its load into the storage battery, the big brass gauges rang 'full'.
At the sound of the lightning strike, Jill snapped awake. She didn't know what kind of power the 'shipman had over her, but she had never felt anything like it before. As the gauge bell rang out, she quickly pulled her clothes back on, and he jumped to the controls.
In the blaze of activity, she caught his narrowcast glance: "time for action!"
that's when the large, pneumatic tool fell from a holding bin just off the main deck. puzzled, she gazed at it's chrome pummeling-piston with a near Pavlovian intensity, its leather-clad handle called to her, siren-like.
She wiped the drool from the side of her mouth..
(I am loving this. You all rule. Community-generated creation myth!!!)
When do we find out what her boobs are stuffed with!!
Montauk:
When you write it..
spoiler: it's owls.
This is great... I wore the short sleeve version of this shirt yesterday and a friend asked about Jill... and now I have an answer for him! If I hadn't just been laid off I would be ordering me one of these... and I'm not sayin' the shirts are too expensive, it's just a plea for sympathy. Does this one glow in the dark?
I got over COOP when I got over Lords of Acid and KMFDM. Still love his art, but I get tired of seeing the same thing I did 10-15 years ago...
exuding a viscous tentacle, she wrapped a turn or three about the handle of the jillhammer and hefted it thoughtfully..
As she raised it up in front of her, a sudden rush of recognition flowed back along her tentacle and tore through her body.
In the wink of an eye she knew who she was and what she was 'for'. Arcane ages of knowledge coursed through her being, the weight and shape of the pneumatic hammer in her grip imbibed infinite, timeless truth - directly into her soul.
The glint of the metal, the smell of the oil, the touch of the tough rubber handles; all served to inform the growing sense of self Jill suddenly felt.
The mathematics in her brain melded with the raw-power in her heart..
g'nite
http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=8mhfAO0aYMg
Thanks tak, your bedtime selection is becoming quite a mainstay :)
nite
#19, Buddy66:
...and Alfred Palmer's real-life 1943 riveter makes them both look like shallow fantasies.
Montauk @ 81 - don't listen to Arkizzle, they are in fact full of compressed air so that she can operate her jackhammer on the go.
She has terrible stretch-marks, but she wears them with pride.
Sammich@91, I love it!
Actually, Jill's starting to look like Pauley Perrette's character Abby Sciuto from "Navy NCIS"
Jill PWNZRS Abby Sciuto.
Very fine, very fine.
Someone take all of the storyline comments, edit them to make them coherent, and then publish them (under CC, of course). The first HM prose poem!
come now, we are far, far from done. All are welcome.
She knew what she had to do. She was taking this ship down, and if she had to go with it, so be it. Her glance finally found the target for the pneumatic fuck-buster in her wield: The compression valve. This was it, bitches.
Many many years ago, I had a required high school class called "Current Events" (social studies). One part of the class dealt with censorship and free speech. Apparently, there was a lawsuit by readers of a contemporary magazine who were offended by a cartoon (not a comic, a one panel drawing). I can't remember the magazine, I'm not even sure the instructor told us what it was, but it was the kind that advertised a lot of cologne and watches. So we passed around a copy of this cartoon, I was one of the few students who laughed.
It featured two women hard-hat construction workers standing in a street. One had a jackhammer, and was saying to the other, "This jackhammer is great. I've been having multiple orgasms all day."
I always thought Jill was modeled on a wonderful wonderful old cartoon that too many people took way too seriously. The context seemed to fit perfectly.