LOTR/Narnia-inspired music video
This fantasy-themed music video for rocker Chris Dane Owens's song "Shine On Me" is like an, er, Renaissance Faire romance done up Hollywood style. It was directed by special effects artist Robert Short who won an Oscar for makeup in Beetlejuice and also worked on Splash, E.T., and The Predator. (Thanks, Kirsten Anderson!)
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Can't tell if I'm supposed to enjoy this without a distancing veil of irony. Help!
My eyes. Can we get a rat king or some medical curiosities for a chaser?
And that very question, Anonymous, is where the magic is...
The evil chick is hotter.
my ears are very very angry with you.
Wow. That was... so very incredibly bad.
It's like this guy thinks he's a cross between David Bowie and Errol Flynn.
It's like "America We Stand As One" for the 26-sided dice crowd.
I would rather watch a skin flick with my parents than view this with any other person in the room.
Aaaargh! I just caught myself humming it in the shower. Aaaargh!
I think the ethics of his moustache needs to be called out in light of exploding ships, Dr. Doom adversaries, haphazard grabbing of swordblades, and emerald green guitars.
Ack!
Wait, you're trying to trick me into watching that "they're taking the hobbits to Isengard" video again, aren't you? It took me six months to get that stupid tune out of my head, I'm not going through that again!
Taking the hobbits to Isengard my ass. Stupid fat hobbit... Oh no!
That's pretty kick-ass CG effects, considering it's the early 80's...
Oh wait...
WOW! So good it hurts! We are betting this video would however give us a -2 to our Charisma roll!
-the Mixed Species guys-
I felt like there was a whole cheesy movie that never got made here--probably a bad one, but more interesting than the song. Oh, the cliches, and I'm talking about the lyrics. That's a lot of dough Legolas must have spent to sing that song with the special effects laden movie behind him. Favorite moments: the American Revolutionary soldiers appearing near the end; the Dr. Doom-alike villain whose severed hand drops a very important looking box; the hired actors who make cameo portrait appearances--as if there really were a movie that this song comes from. Maybe there is!?
I hope the random alligator won!
I got about 40 seconds in, and couldn't take it anymore. Horrible.
We're throwing the term 'rocker' around pretty loosely aren't we?
To say I wasted precious oxygen-conversion time watching that video would be a bit strong. Now, at least, I know what to look for in truly, heroically, sycophantically ill-applied use of personal wealth in entertainment. Thank you Boing Boing.
Here's your chaser my friends...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SWf3iJjqYCM
I just had to watch Limahl's video for A Neverending Story in order to cleanse myself of this. I suggest you all do the same:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3khTntOxX-k
#11 DX - I blame YOU for me having that stuck in my head, now.
xian: Worth it for the chaser.
"I know it's not the most important thing, but that moustache is just wrong."
-- Diana Vreeland on Hitler
Elric Stardust!
This is right up there with Gem Sweater.
meh. I've seen hundreds of millions wasted.
It's videos like this that makes it hard to remember "Spinal Tap" was only a parody.
1. These effects aren't very special, Beavis.
2. That was hilarious. The "music" was ... unique.
3. re: "rocker" ... more of a crooner working in the whiteboy-electro-funk milieu...
Also, is one of the Weird Sisters trying to give someone a bottle of Amaretto?
Nice to see Hedwig finally gave up on the gimmicky hair and makeup, though the music is losing its edge.
Hedwig and the Angry Inch - Origin of Love
I don't so much like the actual Gem Sweater thing as I like the idea of it. I approve of it, conceptually. Gem Sweater is right in so many ways, no matter that I can't listen to it.
But this is just wrong. Okay, the tackiness factor is just as high as Gem Sweater. But, but, but, where do I begin? Methinks Ms. Hall has a firmer grip on reality and what she does, takes a certain amount of balls, no, no, OVARIES! Ovaries the size of basketballs, which explains much about the way her golden jumpsuit fits her. And that's a big part of why her stuff is marvelous, if unwatchable.
But this is unwatchable in a way that is very ordinary. And the star, whatever his name is, clearly has no sense of reality, of absurdity, of just how ridiculously he is perceived. And that gets a conflicting response. One wants to shield him from the world because he is obviously such an idiot. So clueless, so clueless. Yet one wants to slap the shit out of him, both because he is so taken with himself (which is an unkind impulse) and because he fuckin' needs the slapping (which is a kind impulse. Because there are things in this world worse than that, and a bit of education might save him from worse. But methinks not. Methinks yonder fair youth is a hopeless tool.
Damn. And I had promised to not post on boingboing when I was hittin' the bourbon.
I was looking into this over the weekend, because like many, I feel like this is only part of a larger work of "Awesome To Someone"-ness.
Much to my sadness/happiness, this is not the case. This is not clips from a made-for-Sci-Fi Channel movie, but a self-contained music video. Owens has an entire fiction built up, of which this is only a part. I hope/fear that we will never see the rest.
Also, he financed this himself, with money he's made producing reality TV shows. America, you are WELCOME.
Mommy, why is the singing lady kissing the other lady?
Wait, I rephrase.
Mommy! Why!
Also I want to thank David for posting this link. I was having a very rough day and it was just the tonic. I needed a dose of absurdity.
3:19 thats the "Independence Angel" monument in Mexico City. What the hell is doing on this "fantasy" low budget video clip??
Ricardo Garcia,
Guadalajara, Mexico.
I spent some time working with Bob Short earlier this year (if it indeed the same Bob Short).
I had no idea I was dealing with a madman. Respect!!!! :)
I saw this post and just let it pass on by, then the comments built up, and they looked pretty horrified so I had to look..
What the fuck just happened?
Seriously? I'm so confused and disgusted. As someone mentioned above.. every cliche of every sort has been raped here. Lyrically, musically, visually.. the sets, the costumes, the riffs, the effects.. Someone's bankroll..
I mean, I've seen less cliched hiphop videos.. by Puff Daddy.
Who encouraged this guy? Jeez.
Dear Chris Dane Owens,
Thank you for giving me my Christmas present early.
Love,
Kerry
Oh dear. And thus we mourn he death of taste.
Nice to see Hedwig finally gave up on the gimmicky hair and makeup
Actually the company that made the glitter lipstick went out of business. Believe me, I tried to order some.
wow. that is just so ridiculously bad. for a video crew to actually put probably weeks into making this thing possible... i'm depressed for them.
imagine Ben Stiller doing it.
That's really a demo reel masquerading as a music video.
Further proof, if any were needed, that disintermediation isn't an unalloyed good.
What _has_ it got in its pocketses?
My Cheese Detector 9000 just broke.
Wait... this isn't that "White Gold" guy from the milk ads?
Their similarity is all the more hilarious given that the milk industry has a better sense of parody than this guy.
GAH GAH GAH MY EYES!
unicorn chaser, please! preferably something in an urban setting with bullets...
http://chrisdaneowens.com/index.html
Wasn't it already painful enough?
Why is this?
Words fail. So does just screaming.
because until some actually TRY directing and cinematography, they really don't know they can't.
Narrative cohesiveness - ur doin it rong.
Thanks Takuan for the website. Unbelievable. Under Videos, there is only one, but check out how decked out the page is. It's like gilding toast. He's gonna wince when he sees more than 50 posts here heralding the Re-Emergence of SCA Home Movies.
Why is he referred to as a 'rocker'? That makes no sense. Even for the 80s.
this is going to be the best x-mas present ever!
http://www.myspace.com/CDObluestone
Chris, Chris, don't worry, those people aren't your demopgraphic.
I'm assuming this was made for a very small niche audience, and that furthermore I'm part of that niche.
It gets even worse (worksafe but not brainsafe):
http://web.archive.org/web/20050406195458/http://www.chrisdaneowens.com/video.htm
It's been done before by better people.
Men Without Hats - Safety Dance
Bryan Ferry - Is Your Love Strong Enough
Ric Ocasek - Emotion in Motion
coming soon: The Chris-Roll, more feared than full on Prilling.
Oh, no, wait you guys..
Turns out, he really is a rocker!
Phew!
(but he really should fire his photoshop guy, he's killing the magic)
Oddly enough, I'd rather sit through this than anything currently on MTV or VH1.
How mant turkeys/clowns died to make this video?
@19 Xian - HA! Perfect chaser.
This entire music video.... oh GODS! My little historical costuming soul just shriveled up in my chest and died.
I'm not sold on the song, but the VIDEO, OMG! It's working on 8 levels at once. Amazing. Yes, it is apparent that many people worked very hard on this video. Thank them!
I don't see how anyone can compare this unfavorably to the Safety Dance video. That's like comparing Chinatown to The Maltese Falcon, or Andrew WK to Kiss, or Pierre Menard's Don Quijote to the Quijote of Cervantes.
i can haz wind masheen!
(Or in the words of my boyfriend, "invisible talent!")
I don't think I can describe how much I love this video. It's like a gift to my inner eight year old. I just can't explain to her why the outer thirty-one year old is cackling madly.
Rock? More like schlock-rock. Man that was the cheesiest music video I've ever seen..
LA Times interview with Chris Dane Owens
ChrisDaOw
http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=1cWwA7Czi1E
After forcing my wife to suffer through this, I was reading the comments to her. When I got to "Aaaargh! I just caught myself humming it in the shower. Aaaargh!" she said "that's so horrible.... omig-d, I'M DOING IT TOO! AAAAARGH!"
....
the more you listen to it, the better it gets. It's like an oldies station, playing the 80s, crossed with Legend, somehow...
I can't wait for the sequel, "Mustachioed Chris Danes Against the World Crime League"