Geeks try to cook Gordon Ramsey's fancy recipe
Hugh sez, "We wanted to find out if three-star chef recipes were all they were cracked up to be, and if people like us (read - enormous geeks) could cook them. So we took one geek, one Gordon Ramsay recipe, a few hours, and a camera to film the results..."
Normal Person vs ... Gordon Ramsay (Thanks, Hugh!)
the latest
latest episodes
If you're interested in an extended contest of normal person vs. fancy hypermodern cookbook, this blog is a great read:
http://alineaathome.typepad.com/
(Even if you're not, it's a great read.)
Amusing, but sometimes they were just dense. I'm from the US, so perhaps it is culturally, but isn't there a difference between a blender and a food processor?
Apparently that recipe didn't call for common sense, 'cause these guys forgot to pick that up while they were out.
pretty fucking brilliant for a fucking bunch of fucking wankers!
Y'know, I'm not even sure they bought GR's book. Shocking.
Sheesh MinT, you could have at least written 'bleep' in parentheses after each instance of 'fuck'..
i would love to see these guys explain building a PC from scratch to a cook with no computer experience.
Eriko WIN!
OK as a big geek I will now explain why it was an epic fail
Geeks read the instructions several times before starting something at least I do that way you know before hand what is coming up and can prepare for it
Second um Food processor not = to Blender
I am sure if you read the beginning of the book as with most recipe books there is a basic instruction section on how to do things like mix flour with liquid OHHHH I could go on and on mmmmmm Clavin
I did like the reference to the cursing game reviewer Yahtzee's Zero Punctuation
and the Top gear reference it was very funny
There were moments of humor and moments of frustration. Not sure if I liked it or not. But the state of the kitchen was rather disturbing for me. Maybe I'm just a clean/neat freak but, ew.
While I commend their spirit, fine food does not equal hungover bachelor chow. They picked probably the most overrated, difficult BS recipe that calls for more then basic experience and technique.
At least they didn't use 'spensive stock. Lord knows how many times I've seen idiots trash things on induction equipment.
Hi - I'm Hugh from KKC.
Eriko - great idea! Actually, we should write a recipe for them to follow...
Arkizzle - It was a recipe from The Times, actually, written by Mr Ramsay - there's a link on the show page.
People may be interested in the other two of these we've done -
Normal Person vs Nigella Lawson: http://www.kamikazecookery.com/films/8
Normal Person vs Jamie Oliver:
http://www.kamikazecookery.com/films/5
Does there exist an uncensored version of Kitchen Nightmares anywhere? I'm not a food person at all-- just about the pickiest eater you'll ever meet-- but I love watching Gordon Ramsay force the producers to bleep 30-second stretches of film...
The other kamikaze cooking episode is more entertaining - they cook a steak with a DIY sous vide rig, then finish it with a blowtorch.
As Ramsey himself would say, "Shut it down, you f***ing donkeys!!"
Gee .. who would have thought that something outside the guts of a computer and collectible card games might actually require some measure of skill.
When they learn the difference between a blender and a food processor, maybe I'll cut them some slack. Do they still stick DVDs in a CDROM drive and whine on camera when they don't work?
@TROGLODYTE
The BBC version has fewer bleeps, but there are fewer tirades, too. It's interesting that Ramsey (and Simon Cowell, for that matter) figure that to make it on TV in the US, you gotta be a huge jerk. But hey, they seem to be right.
it's spelt Ramsay not Ramsey
/pedant
Briefly -
@Everyone talking about blenders - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blender_(device) . I don't know if the terminology is different in the US, but we'd certainly refer to what we use in the episode as a "blender" in the UK.
@Oscar - thanks! (URL for that episode is
http://www.kamikazecookery.com/films/2 )
I'm a geek who can rip apart a Mac or PC and rebuild it with no problem AND a cook who could zip through that recipe in a heartbeat.
Trying to follow this recipe without first reading through and making sure you understand every detail is like trying to build a PC from scratch without know what a power supply or jumper is.
Your electric whisk is rubbish. You used a blender, not a food processor. You overbeat the egg whites, you probably didn't fold the souffle base and egg whites together properly, and I'm betting you didn't clean the whisk before beating the egg whites.
PS: Ramsey's direction to rub the butter in upward strokes is bollocks. Rub it any damn way you please.
Cooking actually has a lot of science built in. Read McGee's book "On Cooking" to learn the science behind souffles and you'll never muck up this recipe again. And once you learn how to do one souffle, you can learn cheese, seafood, chocolate, vanilla and a bunch more very easily.
Hugh, thanks for that. I knew where it came from, one of the guys calls it a "newspaper recipe".
@#8: I think it's assumed, once you start picking up books by the celebrity chefs, that you've got enough basic knowledge to mix flour and water and/or add salt to food.
They don't add too many "how to" sections to those books because, frankly, most people buy them as porn not instructions.
These guys are good.
This goes into my regular rotation.
Oops, I see what people mean about food processors. I'll test tomorrow (when I can buy brussels sprouts) and see if they puree better in my food processor.
I have to say, I seriously doubt it, though.
Patrick, not flour and water; flour and butter.
You're not meant to learn anything properly by watching TV. Celebrity Chefs are wankers anyway. Except that old french lady of course, and the swedish chef.
Perhaps they'd have done better if the instructions took this form:
http://www.cookingforengineers.com
Kudos to KKC!
As an avid cook I can tell you that souffle is hard, you did a fantastic job, it looked delicious!
Bleeping hilarious, keep it up!
Funnily enough, some of the best cooks that I know are geeks.
Shantanu SPAM!
First: this is a superb project.
Next, regarding the transatlantic dialectical challenges, I've noticed that Jamie Oliver refers to his food processor as a "magi-mix." Also, point of fact, food processors are nothing but specialized blenders with a form factor more amenable to thicker substances. I've prepared many dishes on both devices and while the experiences differ, the outcome is usually the same.
Also, regarding the instructional value of cookbooks, how much "how-to" depends entirely on the audience of the book. Publishers of celebrity chef cookbooks don't care to enlighten the average reader on how to prepare a roux (as disputed above--it's flour and fat, typically clarified butter) or differentiate between braising and broiling, but an old-fashioned Betty Crocker, on the other hand, would have all of those basic elements of cooking in an easily navigated appendix.
In reading the description I immediately thought of the fantastic Hezbollah Tofu (hezbollahtofu.blogspot.com/) which sets out to veganize Anthony Bourdain's recipes with a good bit of snarky wit (thus the name, a reference to Kitchen Confidential calling vegans the "Hezbollah-like splinter faction" of vegetarians).
@ROOOOO
That is the best cooking site evar. Their rosemary lambchops are fantastic (so much so that my ex forbid me from cooking them for any other woman in any setting). I also have the 75th anniversary edition of the Joy of Cooking, so between those two sources, I think I'm covered for life when it comes to cooking.
The BBC series doesn't bleep anything at all (I watch it on Food Network Canada). It's funny to hear him say things like "we could be in the shit" in a calm voiceover, and to repeatedly tell people he's going to "fire a rocket up [their] ass".
The American series is awful. Manufactured drama, with Gordon overreacting and the restaurant staff being over-defensive. The focus usually seems to be on keeping the kitchen clean, too.
Everyone is much calmer in the BBC series, and it's mostly about the quality of the food, and the inability of the owner to manage his staff. They also skip the cheesy music and the announcer. Watch "Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares", NOT "Kitchen Nightmares"!
As a geek, I maintain that anyone who can read can be a mediocre-to-good cook, given adequate instructions. I'll agree that lots of TV chefs' books are much more about being aspirational lifestyle products than actual cookbooks: they presuppose a lot of knowledge and are often very light on detail. For example, I was given a glossy Jamie Oliver book with fantastic photos on every page, lots of witty banter... and no indication of quantities, cooking times, etc. for many of the recipes. I can survive based on past experience and guesswork but my girlfriend, for example, found the book to be totally useless.
I'll second JayBrennan's reccommendation for Howard McGee's "On food and cooking". Everything you ever wanted to know about the science behind cooking: why some recipes need baking powder and others bicarbonate of soda, yeast biology, the anatomy of eggs, how and why to anneal chocolate, understanding the principles behind making a perfect souffle, etc. etc. There are also quite a lot of myths and weird habits dispelled, with understandable scientific explanations. The glossary is pretty good for new cooks, too.
The style is rather dry -- it's more of a textbook than a cookbook -- but it's all fascinating stuff if you enjoy cooking and are even slightly geeky. And yes, the understanding from that book has made some previously tricky recipes (including souflees) easier now I understand which factors need to be controlled and which aren't so important.
Also seconding "cooking for engineers", a great website with very methodical, precise and internally cosistent instructions and explanations.
My favourite book for learning how to cook is probably Mary Berry's "How to Cook". Logically organised, covers cooking and baking equally well, and each chapter starts with clear explanations of the basic techniques for the recipes (so how to rub butter into flour for baking, how to spatchcock a chicken, how to calculate roasting times and the terget temperatures for each meat...). In the back there's also a sort of kitchen manual, with tips for storing or freezing food properly, microwave defrosting and cooking, hygeine... everything you'd want a novice cook to know. I know I sound like a shill but, really, this would be an awesome book for anyone just starting in the kitchen.
And yes, Ramsay's programmes are much better in the UK, with much less cheesily manufactured drama and much more of the comedy rants and bad language allowed through unbleeped.
WRT blender v food processor. I think since you only had, what, six sprouts, the sprout paste would have been harder to make in a larger bowl. Of course the more practical use of the blender would have involved scraping the sides down a lot, and maybe a dash or two of liquid....
Very funny video indeed.
@Bugs - I completely agree. Part - indeed, most - of the idea behind our "Normal Person Versus" series was to demonstrate how celebrity chef recipes are often far from adequate in actually telling you how to cook.
I have high hopes for our Heston Blumenthal episode, if and when we do it - he's excellent at providing clear and intelligible instructions.
Thirded on Harold McGee. Best. Cookbook. Ever.
I'd also strongly recommend the UK book "Don't Sweat The Aubergine". Fantastic practical book from a non-chef but very, very well-read cook.
Gemma:
Or putting in twice the needed sprouts (there were an awful lot left over, after all) and then throwing half to the compost heap (or saving for another round of goop).
Badc0ffee:
The British version doesn't bleep anything, it's shown here with all the swear words in.
I agree about the US version - why they can't tell the story using editing and bnot rely on a voice over I'll never understand
By the way, it's not a BBC programme, it's made for Channel 4.
These guys have never been in the kitchen. Part of being a geek is versatility.
I wonder if their girlfriends could have helped...oh wait, no I don't.
If I may take a long quote
fFrom Julian Barnes' The Pedant in the Kitchen:
It starts with simple words. How big is a lump, how voluminous is a slug or gout, when does a drizzle become rain? Is a cup a rough-and-ready generic term, or a precise American measure? Why tell us to add a wineglass of something, when wineglasses come in so many sizes? Or - to return briefly to jam - how about this instruction from Richard Olney: "Throw in as many strawberries as you can hold piled up in joined hands." I mean, really. Are we meant to write to the late Mr Olney's executors and ask how big his hands were? What if children made this jam, or circus giants?
[More of the quote here, including the bit about onions]
As well as seeking precision, Barnes also likes reassuring recipies - "don't worry if [x happens]. I think it was Delia that he praised especially.
Haven't watched the video but I'd expect a cheerful amateur attempt at a souffle to be entertaining.
Seems pretty unfair; a souflé is the hardest test of cook. Perfect the souflé and you have perfected cooking.
For my fellow Jewish boingers who want to impress mom or grandma or keep deliciously kosher, non-jews who want to impress their jewish significant others, or just those into the wide world of semitic food, I must recommend Claudia Roden's "The Book of Jewish Food: An Odyssey from Samarkand to New York"
I am a huge food snob but I love the way that this book is organized and annotated. It is part extremely well written cookbook and part anthropology of Jewish food. Plus there is an index in the back so if you need to play iron chef you can just look up "leeks" and it will tell you all the book's recipes which use that as an ingredient.
I did first learn to cook using a tattered Better Homes and Gardens cookbook as a kid. That thing had a fantastic explanation section. Learn to read, FOLLOW DIRECTIONS and to taste, taste, taste while you are cooking and you can't go wrong as long as you are paying attention.
Ooo. I want one of those 1337 t-shirts. :)
Anyway, this is kind of silly. If you're going to make a souffle, you should probably make a really basic one first. And you should know what a food processor is. And what a ramekin is. And what scalding milk means. And how to use a knife to chop things without risking amputation. And about pastry brushes.
Seriously. All those terms can be found in the glossary of any good general purpose cookbook along with the proper way to hold a knife.
On the flip side, awesome induction cooktop!
#44: I don't know - soufflé was one of the first things I tried, back when I was 15 or so, and it came out perfectly the first time (and each time since, though I haven't made it much - lots of washing involved). On the other hand, I had a cookbook that explained the principals behind soufflé in great detail, then proceeded to give variations (chocolate, cheese, etc).
The last soufflé I made (and the first in many years) was based on a Gordon Ramsay recipe I found on a website. And I made it gluten-free for my coeliac girlfriend. And I adapted it (we had some really nice Christmassy spices on hand which I added to the chocolate). And it came out perfectly.
But then this attempt is like a Linux newb making himself root, then semi-randomly deleting files in /var and /etc based on half-solutions found on forums and blogs while trying to troubleshoot a problem. Maybe the problem will get fixed, and maybe (just maybe) he will manage not to seriously destabilize his system in the process.
@kieran - souffles get a bad rap.
People have trouble with them generally because they open the oven early in the cooking process or don't let the oven preheat properly. I generally like to go 20 minutes past the time when it actually hits the target temperature so that the walls are nice and hot and when you open it it doesn't drop 40 F.
I like to put a pizza stone in mine just because mine has a fairly wide cycle. And having a secondary thermometer in it is good since my oven is about 20 F off when it tells me it is preheated.
"The only thing that will make a soufflé fall is if it knows you are afraid of it." - James Beard
why hasn't a free-fall souffle oven been built? Geek-chefs?
For all the mentions of "blender" and "food processor" in this thread I failed to note anyone pointing out the fact that there was a food processor right behind the blender.
Also, the guys in the clip were oily and repulsive--the type of guys I can imagine shitting in bags and pissing in bottles while they level up in WoW.
@Alosius - The 1337 T-Shirt is from Pure Pwnage - http://www.noobstore.com/prod_tshirt-m-1337.shtml
I don't agree with the rest of your post, though. A good recipe should teach you how to make what it's describing. Take a look at Heston Blumenthal's cookbooks - no-one would describe them as "basic", but I'm confident that Johnnie could, given the appropriate budget, follow his instructions from any of the recipes he's written (including most of the ones from the Fat Duck restaurant cookbook) to make a gorgeous meal.
Incidentally, we've now had a very, very competent cook try Ramsay's recipe too. Read it here:
http://www.kamikazecookery.com/blogs/80
The basis of a soufflé is a white sauce to which a solid of some sort is added AND beaten egg whites to make it rise and become light and airy. Soufflés are really not that hard to cook if you follow a few simple procedures. Here you go campers -
1/ take the eggs out of the fridge and let them come to room temperature - you'll get more volume out of the beaten whites.
2/ butter the straight-sided ceramic soufflé dish and chill it in the fridge. Some chefs say not to butter the dish. That's crap. Eggs and butter are made for each other. You ever made scrambled eggs with margarine? I rest my case.
3/ make the sauce. The basic mixture for a soufflé is a simple white sauce - butter, flour and milk - but a thicker sauce than usual so use less butter. Thicken it further with cornflour. Then thicken it further with the egg yolks. After the yolks are added cook the sauce briefly - bring it to the boil for JUST A FEW SECONDS and then whisk (or stir) the fucker. Too much heat will CURDLE the eggs. And you don't want that.
4/ add your solids - fish, cheese, vegetables whatever. Let the sauce cool - DON'T add the whites to a hot sauce you dumb bastard. Warm is O.K. but never a hot sauce.
5/ beat the whites at the last minute - they'll deflate if you have them standing around.
6/ before beating the crap out of the egg whites make sure your bowl and beaters (or whisk) are scrupulously clean with no oil or butter residues or the whites won't stiffen. NEVER use a plastic bowl. Stainless steel or ceramic is better.
7/ add a pinch of salt to help them stiffen quicker if you like. When are the whites stiff enough? When you can hold the bowl over your head without wearing the contents.
8/ stir into the cooled sauce HALF the beaten egg whites and then FOLD - which means "scoop" the remaining whites into the sauce - using a rubber spatula, if you have one, to cut down to the bottom, scoop around and bring the spatula up. DO NOT OVERFOLD or the soufflé will not rise properly. Leave some white specks showing. "Soufflé" means "puffed up" in French after all.
9/ don't be a silly fuck and open the oven door half-way through the cooking time to see how the soufflé's going - it will rapidly deflate.
10/ DO say "voila" as you take the soufflé out of the oven and straight to the table (before it falls).
bon appétit, Lambe, Paris.
BTW I once made a soufflé from canned dogfood (as a joke) and my dumbfuck flatmate came home late, pissed as a parrot and ate the remains.
“So what we'd need really, in order to test this, would be some normal people.”
“Anybody know any normal people?”
Hey, I just discovered that these are the guys behind the first Machinima feature flick "Bloodspell" - http://www.bloodspell.com/film/list
I dig what comes up first on the screen - "This is NOT a warning from F.A.C.T.
Photography of this film is NOT prohibited. We do NOT ask the audience to be vigilant. If your pal has a cameraphone, please do NOT inform us because we don't give a stuff. If you share, redistribute, show copy or perform this film we will NOT:
* sue your grandmother
* install a rootkit on your PC
* try to make computers illegal to close the "analog hole".
This film is licensed under "Creative Commons". Sharing is not stealing.
Piracy is a crime.
So please don't steal any boats."
"A good recipe should teach you how to make what it's describing"..
As someone else said, upthread, how would you compare that with a good manual? How many kit-sheets teach you good soldering from bad soldering. They just say "solder component A to slot B".
There is an assumption of some prerequisite knowledge. Instruction-sets (of any kind) assume various levels of expertise. There are absolute beginners' books, and there are pro books. It's up to you to choose the verbosity of the instructions, by finding the correct level to begin at.
I second the request for you to feature a chef, with zero geek-fu, trying to build a computer from basic instructions. I think it'd make a really nice counter skit to what you have featured here, and would undoubtedly have a lot of laughs.