Rock'em Sock'em monks
Armenian and Greek monks duked it out at the Church of the Holy Sepulchre in Jerusalem.
Dressed in the vestments of the Greek Orthodox and Armenian denominations, rival monks threw punches and anything they could lay their hands on.Monks brawl at Jerusalem shrineThe Greeks blamed the Armenians for not recognising their rights inside the holy site, while the Armenians said the Greeks had violated one of their traditional ceremonies.
Israeli policemen scuffle with an Armenian altar boy during a fight at the Church of the Holy Sepulchre on 9 November2008
An Armenian clergyman said the Greek clergy had tried to place one of their monks inside the Edicule, an ancient structure which is said to encase the tomb of Jesus.
"What is happening here is a violation of status quo. The Greeks have tried so many times to put their monk inside the tomb but they don't have the right to when the Armenians are celebrating the feast," he said.
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Took a tour of this place in 1995.
The guide described the politics of the place. A real mess. The various sects each claim various territories and have different duties.
As a result, the place was a dingy, crumbling mess.
I understand it has been cleaned up since then.
The Protestants opted out by deciding that Christ's tomb was off in the boonies, outside of the walls of the city.
Boy, would Jesus be proud of you guys!
Which, of course, prompts a reference to the genius of Paul and Storm. Pay-per-view Nun Fight. I guess they need to branch out to monks now...
The Greeks have tried so many times to put their monk inside the tomb but they don't have the right to when the Armenians are celebrating the feast
Best. Innuendo. Ever.
Everyone knows people that go to the Church of the Holy Sepulcher only go there to see priests fight.
You gotta love religion.
Bring on the holy wars!.... Oh, wait. *sigh*
So that wasn't just a clip from Life of Brian, then?
This same sort of thing happened last year (maybe two?) at the Curch of the Nativity in Bethlehem. This year it looks like photographers were ready for the fight. I saw a flash go off when one monk sucker-punched another. I expect to see some World Press Awards entries from this event. I also expect there to be a line in Vegas on next year's monk brawl.
The place is shared by a lot more than just the two current brawling factions. There are custodians there from Eastern Orthodox, Armenian Apostolic, Roman Catholic, Greek Orthodox ,Coptic Orthodox, Ethiopian Orthodox, and Syriac Orthodox Churches. The protestant churches didn't "Opt Out" they were just never invited having been considered heretic sects when the "Status Quo" was implemented in 1555 or so.
What's crazy is how aggressively everyone defends their "Rights" to this shrine.
"On a hot summer day in 2002, the Coptic monk who is stationed on the roof to express Coptic claims to the Ethiopian territory there moved his chair from its agreed spot into the shade. This was interpreted as a hostile move by the Ethiopians, and eleven were hospitalized after the resulting fracas. "
I don't want to get on any sort of Atheist's rant but, Jesus H. Christ!
Can you just imagine the mess we'd have if competing religious sects had undue influence on our national politics?
This has happened several times.
One year, while cleaning in preparation for Easter(i think), it was because one sect moved a ladder in one of the other sects territory. Holy lamps and other items were used as weapons in the ensuing brawl.
So did the Greeks go in the back door?
Ah, Christianity strikes again.
I got a monk on my back.
Caption for this video:
"Christianity - ur doing it wrong."
What a display of the great victory of the human spirit over its petty all-powerful and infinitely loving gods.
This setup is so effed up that a ladder placed on a ledge over the entrance sometime in the 19th century has remained there ever since because of a dispute over who has the authority to take it down.
And yay, the men of god will fight like ladies, landing palsy blows with outstretched palm on the cheeks of their enemies. Gabardine will rustle, wool will rend, tall hats will topple and ye shall know that the end is nigh for this is the umpteenth sign of the apocalypse.
The worst part is that there were dozens of cases of whiplash from all the turning of the other cheek.
Does this qualify as disorganized religion?
LOL
So dark the con of man
Oh, and "Holy catfights, Batman!"
It's not every day that you see fifty-or-so "Men of God" throwing down while their dressed in robes. Funny video or not, it is sad to see violent behavior acted out by clergymen over something so trivial as this.
They begin by trading arguments, and then invective, and finally blows.
Isn't this the church where they have a Muslim gatekeeper who locks up after ensuring that all the various factions are ejected for the night? I remember seeing a National Geographic movie on this. No one can be trusted, so they have a disinterested third party of a religion who places no value on the church to handle opening and closing the building so no Christian sect can try to get squatters rights. Just gotta laugh. It can get just as deadly as a Sunni-Shia argument and dustup, and so that's why the arrangements have been made.
For the love of God, please, someone post a Yakkity Sax version!
I'm Armenian and I still crack up when the monks throw it down every couple of years. Thank god I'm an atheist. Greeks and Armenians are all good peeps don't let our clergy leave a bad impression.
Good article over at Slate. "Does religion make you nice?" Interesting conclusions. http://www.slate.com/id/2203614/
Quoting from Son-O-God Comics (a one-off parody that appeared in National Lampoon ages ago)...
"Surely we can settle these differences in a Christian manner!"
I don't think anyone's opinion's on Greeks and Armenians are changed after this video. Opinions about priests, however, are very much confirmed.
I definitely second the Yakkity Sax version of this video!
Christ, I had almost forgotten Son-O-God comics.
Thank you Technogeek!
RE: #7 posted by Alfie , November 10, 2008 12:18 PM
I don't want to get on any sort of Atheist's rant but, Jesus H. Christ!
The "H" stands for Hussein.
The dude in red who comes flying in makes the video. Someone needs to intersperse this with a saloon fight video.
more bloodshed, violence, and division has been caused in the name of religion..
and they want to impose their morals to all?
they are the most hypocritical people on this planet..
Martial Monks of the Church of the Holy Sepulchre vs. Martial Monks of Shaoliin Temple!
Schmoo @ 6
The fight at the church of the Nativity was late last year.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/world/middle_east/article3104350.ece
I just looked at the Wikipedia article on the church of the Holy Sepulchre. What a gong show. Nevermind a yakkety sax version of the video - it sounds like yakkety sax should be played on the organ twice daily!
Martial Monks of the Church of the Holy Sepulchre vs. Martial Monks of Shaoliin Temple!
You do know that the Shaolin Temple filed a lawsuit against some web ninja for claiming that ninjas had kicked their asses?
http://www.boingboing.net/2007/09/01/shaolin-monks-wage-i.html
BBC article with a picture of the ladder which hasn't been moved since the reign of Queen Victoria.
"We believe the Holy Bartman stood for peace and love!"
Wow. This all could make a great comedy movie.
Oh man, I was just standing in that very room but a few months ago. Why couldn't they have scheduled their fight a little earlier?
Also, Alfie, as I understand it, Protestants don't believe that this site is the actual burial/resurrection site. I'm pretty sure that is just their way of saying, "We don't need your stupid burial site, we have our own! So there!"
and God was on whose side?
oblig. "you can't fight in here, this is the war room!"
Splitters!
Didn't the Crimean War start over this?
Eh. Evacuate the "holy land". Remove the numbskulls once and for all. Dome it off and make it a theme park.
If they keep fighting even outside the park, carpet bomb the entire deserted area into dust. That damned ruined land has given the human race nothing but hell and death. I would not miss it. Sorry.
This was a scene in Pratchett's "Feet of Clay", no?
I'd suggest checking out the video that #38 linked. If for no other reason than that the volume goes to 11. That makes me happy.
Catbeller: Clay of my claaaay.
It's much cooler when buddhist monks fight, what with the fireballs, running up walls and stuff. Christian monks need more ki.
Ahhh, Christianity. . . It's so nice when a religion declares in this way that it has, indeed, outlived it's own message.
Abraham would be so proud of his children. . . Were he not so busy spinning madly in his grave.
i'm so gonna burn, but i LOL'd when that one monk sucker punched the other one.
Why can't they solve problems like they did in the good old days? Throw someone in the river, if they float they're a witch. Burn them.
Catbeller, they'd be guaranteed to fight over the holy land, inside it or out.
You're have to wipe the whole thing in to the Mediterannean, at least 3m. below sea level.
If there actually were a god, I'd like to think that it would observe this behavior and make that place a pile of powder.
Then when the fighting starts over the powder pile, the whole mess gets sucked up skyward (monks and all) a la Raiders of the Lost Ark.
"So? YOU aren't turning the other cheek either!"
Other than that, with all the claims and divisions at this place, it doesn't sound much different than a prison yard.
You'd think the Greeks and Armenians would get along peacefully, united by their hatred of the Turks.
I agree with Daemon, if this had been Buddhist monks and Taoist priests the fight would have lasted FOREVER, with soft flowing movements and hopping vampires vs. hard Shaolin training by a shirtless Gordon Liu.
So a Greek monk, an Armenian monk, and a rabbi walk into a bar.............
if I had a half dozen nuclear warheads, Jerusalem for sure.
Too much holy wine...betcha.
Takuan, NUKES!?!?!
In university (USA) I took a middle east conflict class for an easy A, the thing that regularly united myself with the only othere middle eastern student in the class, a Palestinian/Jrdainan was our outrage at the utter lack of respect for the inhabitants of Israel, Jew and Arab. I think we are both sick of various outside factions (ie OPEC vs Western aid) trying to "help" us find peace, of course there is also the always the popular "dump a pile of weapons on them stand back let those filthy Jews and Arabs exterminate themselves" solution often heard in trucker bars. We can work together to fix our own problems, it is the outside military and diplomatic interference that is causing most of the violence.
often heard in trucker bars.
Clearly you have a more interesting social life than me. But, yeah. Just say no to fission.
And these are the people their communities turn to for spiritual guidance . Now that cracks me up.
Looks kinda like idolatry to me.
If Jesus could see this he'd be spinning in his grave.
@62, I don't even notice what you are pleased to call "ethnicities". All I see is a hotbed of organized religion that the world would be better without. Pity the vile meme has infected so many human heads, but if the only way to extirpate it is at the cost of a few million - well, better to save billions. Or do you believe the whole species should be sacrificed for the comfort and convenience of a few old beardys?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QljsdAuCG7g
Lucky no one got a tent peg hammered into their head. The bible is freakishly violent - this is NOTHING.
Takuan, read your last post first. Nuke the fukin place came to mind. Then your post above came into view and is often the case you've said it all.
RebDav, this wasn't about "filthy Jews and Arabs" until your post. This video clip is about religious nut-jobs and they come in all colors and creeds. Religion has outlived whatever purpose it ever served, not that I would agree it ever served anything, but misery.
Many years ago a friend said, "Kill every human, if the universe wishes to start over, it will. It's going to happen at some point anyway." My young optimistic mind said, "NO! You're sick." But now my older, more informed and cynical mind says, they asked for it, fuk'em."
This ain't about nationalities or race, it is about religion. Religion is a virus given by parents to a trusting, adoring mind, then inforced by a hateful society. The only thing worse than a human infected with any of the thousands of variants of that "vile meme", is one who is also infected with the other "vile meme", Nationalism. Either alone destroy a mind, together they destroy a world.
Hey, the inhabitants of the Middle-East have been banging away at each other for thousands of years with sticks and stones, where has it gotten you? All we're sayin' is maybe you need a more efficient weapon. Give it some thought. Prime memberships include free shipping.
"Nuke them", uh? "sacrifice millions to save billions", uh?
In other words: "we have the hammer, we get to say who deserves to be hammered into the ground with it."
Or even more accurately: "The masters we are slaves to have the hammer, so we get to scream for somebody to be hammered into the ground."
No, I vote for selling them their own updated hammers. I would only nuke 'em all if we could get every last one, from every country on Earth, in one place for a few millionths of a second. Peace unto you; it's the thought that counts.
Er... A one-millisecond concentration camp just before a one-millisecond holocaust?
think of it as evolution in action
Looks more like unintelligent design to me.
yeah, that's how they got there alright
Let them evolve, then.
Evolve? You're kidding, right? If only they would. Oh, how I dream of them evolving. How I long for a sign, any sign of sanity, but it will never be. How many thousands of years must the rest of us suffer waiting for something that will never come? This virus is the best, there is none better. Its victims live long, infecting generations, from just a few to billions. They resist knowledge, fight change, and murder those they cannot control, then cry foul, while demanding respect, crocodile tears.
Evolve my ass. It really sucks youtube wasn't invented three thousand years ago, just imagine the shit I could pull up to illustrate this point.
Johnny Winter Highway 61 Live
@46 Yes, historians usually begin the story of the Crimean War with a dispute among monks over access to the Holy Sepulchre. The Russians backed up the Orthodox monks while the French backed up the Catholics. The diplomacy over this got entangled with the overbearing pride and incompetence of the emperors of France and Russia as well as anti-Christian fanaticism in Turkey, British suspicions of Russian expansionism, etc. -- by the time fighting started, the monks were out of the picture. (The actual settlement to the dispute, I believe, was that certain monks were given a key to a particular door--but not allowed to open it.)
Pardon me for not joining the lively debate about the nuking of Jerusalem. This city is home to some 750,000 people, most of which do not appear in the above video. It hosts a respectable university, the parliament of Israel and government offices, the Supreme Court, the Israel Museum with some unique ancient books, scrolls, and archaeological artifacts. Nuking it because of some stupid religious people? I'd say the extremists are winning.
xdmag - there is a lot of sarcasm that you have missed.
Ftsnl #79: N m nt kddng nd dsn't lk lk y r kddng thr, whch pts y smwhr n btwn th dts n th vd nd th wrms thy cm frm.
baronsamedi,
If you have a point, make it, but no name-calling, please.
Where was the name calling? I was just saying that Foetusnail has more room to evolve than the guys in the video.
Oh wait. I called the guys in the video "idiots". sorry.
My proposal is rounding up all brainwashed cult members, AKA: The Believers, and stopping this madness once and for all. Now, just thinking this makes me some sort of sick individual, but billions of people around the world, waiting for their imaginary friend in the sky to do the same to me and billions of others is OK with everyone?
Let me get this straight, because some god is going to whisk away his believers, and destroy in the most horrible of ways billions of infidels, turnabout isn't fair play. Take a little more time to think about what these religions are saying, before firing up the self-righteous indignation in defense of these hypocrites.
A friend forsees a ''spasm war,'' an ''oops'' sort of thing with a nuke or nukes, and then a lot of remorse and the strengthening of the UN into peacekeepers with real teeth. She says Pakistan/India or Israel/Somebody. The bright side is she's been saying it for thirty years and it hasn't happened.
Yes, it does. And it makes me sick too.
The fact that there are billions of "sick hypocrites" doesn't give you the right to add yourself to the count.
Wow! I thought that running jumps into a fracas (approximately 12 seconds into the clip) only happened in Cannonball Run fight scenes.
BARONSAMEDI: You need to relax man, can't you see my proposing to do to them what they pray their god will do to me, is only done to illustrate the insanity of their faith? This is the crux, the danger, the madness that is religion, that by faith in an imagined deity the unthinkable is made acceptable to billions of people.
Rebdav - you took a class on the Middle East conflict "for an easy A"?
I think your university was doing it wrong.
"what they pray their god will do to you"?
Genocidical paranoia, now? you look better with each comment you post.
Whatever, I just find the idea a few billion religious victims are waiting for god to throw the rest of us into a lake of burning sulfur frightening. And yes, I do take it personally, when people find some sense of justice in my family being consigned to that lake for eternity.
Don't believe for one minute, that their lumping my children in with "the vile, the murderers, the sexually immoral, those who practice magic arts, the idolaters and all liars" does not affect the here and now. Their contempt is the primary reason we have suffered through 8 years of GWBush. They are the ones who support the murder of thousands of Iraqi children. And the Islamic cults use this same contempt to justify the murders of infidels, heretics, apostates and those of opposing cults.
Revelations reveals their opinion of all non-believers. All three desert cults should be destroyed. Is it not true, that that which can not be cured, must be excised? Is this not their position? Why can I not make it mine, even long enough to prove a point?
And I saw an angel standing in the sun, who cried in a loud voice to all the birds flying in midair, "Come, gather together for the great supper of God, so that you may eat the flesh of kings, generals, and mighty men, of horses and their riders, and the flesh of all people, free and slave, small and great."
If anyone's name was not found written in the book of life, he was thrown into the lake of fire.
He said to me: "It is done. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End. To him who is thirsty I will give to drink without cost from the spring of the water of life. He who overcomes will inherit all this, and I will be his God and he will be my son. But the cowardly, the unbelieving, the vile, the murderers, the sexually immoral, those who practice magic arts, the idolaters and all liars—their place will be in the fiery lake of burning sulfur. This is the second death."
And I saw an angel standing in the sun...
Ah, Foetusnail, what a waste of wonderful imagery and metaphor on those various desert rats and their insanities.
Last year's Bethlehem brawl was mentioned here on BB: http://www.boingboing.net/2007/12/28/priests-brawl-at-jes.html