Slate reviews adult diapers
Store BrandsWhat's the Best Adult Diaper? That Depends.For the sad soul who is both incontinent and destitute, and for nobody else. Conventional wisdom says that any savings that may result from using generic personal-hygiene products are subsumed by the discomfort that users must endure. This is doubly true for generic adult diapers. Unless you are impoverished, or a masochist, there is no reason to go generic. The savings are minimal, and so is the quality.
I tested three different store brands: Target (Affirm), Walgreens (Certainty), and Kroger (Kroger), all of which were similar in price (low) and quality (low). The simple verdict: Don't use the store brand if you have any plans at all to do anything that day besides change your adult diaper.
My experience with Kroger was particularly memorable, which isn't a good thing when it comes to diapers. They were about as absorbent as a drainpipe, sagging under the weight of the water and leaking like Daniel Ellsberg. These pull-on-style diapers went on easily and didn't actually feel too bad when I wore them dry, but years of using my congenitally cheap roommate's Rite-Aid-brand toilet paper has steeled me for discomfort.
Eventually I consumed enough liquor to muster the courage to wear them wet. Unfortunately, consuming all that liquor also mustered enough urine to make the testing process one of the more unpleasant experiences of my life. The diaper swelled until it could swell no more, at which point streams of urine began running down the sides of my legs. Even though I had locked myself in a bathroom to perform the test, I still feel unaccountably ashamed, as if God were laughing at me—a feeling made worse by my inability to exit the diaper. The Kroger diaper features quick-release strips on its sides so that wearers can rip the sides for a quick and easy exit. But the strips didn't immediately rip, and I just stood there stymied for a few seconds, tugging ineffectively at a wet adult diaper and feeling as if there must be easier ways to make a living.
Afterward, I headed directly to the shower.
Wearability: 2
Absorbency: 1
Longevity 1
Style: 2
Total: 6
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He deserves a raise. He's my new heroic writer.
May be better to wear nothing at all and stay in non-absorbent, hose-able environments.
Those aduts are always peeing their pants. We need more reveiws!
ah, you land dwellers.
Mark made not one, but two spelling errors in the headline! Everybody, GET HIM!
Just kidding, of course.
This is a disgusting. Not because people pee their pants, but because the author thinks it's funny.
I hope you are all incontinent for 30 years. :)
so the message is if I'm planning a NASA-esque love triangle and vendetta type scenario, I should make savings elsewhere?
Sorry, I just don't see the funny. As a kid I had an aunt who was a nurse who would chide us about "body humor" and considering how reliant on fart/poop/pee jokes comedy seems to be these days, I'm glad she broke me of the habit.
I've worked in a hospice with people for whom any adult diaper was a step UP from being bed-ridden with a catheter.
Not to be a killjoy, but this just comes off mean and (ahem) foul.
really? Has boingboing sunk to such a low point that we gather to have a good laugh at those unfortunate enough to need to wear depends? A laugh at the expense of standing on the feelings of those that were born into bodies that have problems?
ugh.
For the first time, I feel embarrassed to check one of my favorite sites.
I can only assume the author has never dealt with a person who actually has to wear these adult diapers. If he had (and also if he had just plane commonsense), he know that these sorts of things are designed for leakages, people who can't control their bladder typically don't drop 10-oz. all at once. They dribble in between visits to the toilet. These adult diapers are more to deal with dribbling than full-blown urination.
a little humor may also take the edge of a topic many have always felt unable to discuss freely.
Are you rude mthrfckrs signifying?
JSO 5: I see 'review' spelled 'reveiw'. What's the other one?
FCAlive 6:I don't see this as humorous. I see the reviewer vividly portraying the discomfort and embarrassment of using a bad adult diaper. His humiliation breeds empathy for people who have no choice but to wear such things. Moreover, since most such users are elderly, and many elderly people have limited incomes, this review might be quite valuable to people who might otherwise be tempted to economize.
I don't see the article itself as in any way making light of the problems of the incontinent. Or were you speaking of the commentariat here at BB?
@TAKUAN:
Absolutely agree. I think we should remember what Heinlein said in "Stranger in a Strange Land". Don't have the book handy, but the point is that the only things that are funny are the things which are too terrible or awkword to take at face value. Tell me one (actually funny) joke that doesn't fit this description.
TJ S 14: How about this:
Even if there was humor involved, I still learned what kind of diapers to get should I ever need them -- and I'm thinking about forwarding the article to my father.
I hope I never need to use an adult diaper, but if I do, I'll be glad that somebody's gone to the trouble of reviewing them and writing about it with wit. ("Leaking like Daniel Ellsberg"!)
I have three dear adult relatives who wear adult diapers. They don't like it that they have to wear them, but they would sure get a kick out of this article. They may have lost bladder control but they haven't lost their sense of humor, unlike the sourpusses above who say this article is insensitive.
Also, much of Demetry Martin's humor isn't making fun of anyone. I really like Demetry Martin. He shows a jagged line graph, and the last few peaks have snow and trees drawn on them; he says "this is a graph of my ability to draw mountains over time." Or his plain circle that he calls "a pie graph about procrastination."
Maybe you don't find that funny. I do. OTOH, I can't stand what passes for humor in, say, most Hollywood comedies, because it's all based on embarrassment and humiliation. Even if the character brought it on hirself, I'm not amused; I have empathy for them and just feel embarrassed myself. Ick.
I was glad for the humor - I need to go buy some of these for my mom on my way over tomorrow AM and I've never before been able to do it while smiling. Thanks!
The article stays pretty fair if you read the whole thing. Yes he makes some jokes but they're at his own expense, for the most part the article seems to be a critique of American manufacturing and the cost cutting efforts of insurance companies.
The article wouldn't have been read at all if it was a cold clinical study, the humor makes it easier to digest and generates some awareness that I bet 99% of us were ignorant towards.
How's that a bad thing?
Wow, the guy beat Christopher Hitchens to this one.
@15:
Only funny because both snails and turtles are woefully slow compared to other animals. We laugh at their (perceived) misfortune.
Oh, TJ, now you're being silly. Turtles laugh (slowly) at humans because we die so young!
@19
Gah, yes. People in really embarassing situations make me cringe more than laugh, and that's not really an experience I seek out.
I don't mind the style of the original article, though.
@#10
I can only assume the author has never dealt with a person who actually has to wear these adult diapers. If he had (and also if he had just plane commonsense), he know that these sorts of things are designed for leakages, people who can't control their bladder typically don't drop 10-oz. all at once.
I can only assume you didn't read the article:
"Of course, for many people, incontinence is manifested not in sudden, game-changing urinary explosions but in the small and steady drips characteristic of stress incontinence. I therefore subjected all of the diapers to the "drip test," dousing myself periodically with small amounts of liquid over the span of a few hours."
The guy actually has a methodology he thought through, and aside from a general wit in the tone, it's pretty much a straightforward competitive product review. Maybe the LHC is jiggling peoples' irritability neurons.
@ TJ S & XOPHER
http://tinyurl.com/6qy4un
@ #10 (Gunti)
You might want to click through to the article. He acknowledges two different types of incontinence, stress and urge. Apparently urge incontinence can result in the sudden and unexpected need to empty the bladder (up to 24 oz). I don't think he was being excessive by "drop[ing] 10-oz all at once."
Also, I think the article was very tastefully done. I mean, as tasteful as a comedic-adult-diaper-review could be.
xopher, mitch hedberg was good that way as well. once while watching his 1rst special for the first time, i peed myself, just a little, 'cuz he was so g-damn funny! perhaps that may have been more info than you wanted, but i had to keep the thread 'on topic'!
Guy finds a snail on his front porch. Hurls it across the street into some bushes. Four days later his doorbell rings. He opens the door. It's the snail. The snail says, "What the hell was that all about?"
How the hell is this making fun of people that wear adult diapers?? The most I see is taking a difficult topic, making it easier to bear and a whole lot of identifying with the difficulties of the people that are forced to use these products. Sheesh, lighten up.
If I was in the market for adult diapers, I'd like to think that I'd rather read this review over a clinically dry one.
I worked in a hospital for twenty years. Anyone who tells you that health care workers don't joke about every aspect of illness is lying. Besides, diapers are a hell of a lot better than a rectal tube or a fecal incontinence bag (hint: adhesive plus hair = fail.)
missing you
Yeh Ant, where you been? All good I hope :)
I got one:
An old man's sitting in his wheelchair at the nursing home, just minding his own business. Some kooked-out old lady comes shuffling down the hallway in her slippers and her hospital gown, and when she gets to the old man in the wheelchair, she hikes up her gown and yells, "SUPER PUSSY!"
The old man is startled for a moment, then replies, "oh, uh... I'll have the soup."
@Antinious:
I know that very well, from both the patient can worker side. I was a asthmatic as a kid and heard the nurses and nurses aides having a hell of a laugh at the mean old people who treated them like house-servants. Many of these nurses were Filipino and had to deal with racist old jerks, cruddy hours and a very broken system. I begrudge them nothing.
This article just feels kind of mean. I can see it being forwarded as a "Har-har, look at this!" as much as being something people with these issues can get a laugh out of it. More the latter than the former.
It has the faint smell of Johnny Knoxville "Jackass" gimmick to it as well.
I propose that "leaking like Daniel Ellsberg" is now officially the best simile ever. EVER.
Funny style and valid attempt at really reviewing a product that I'd never really thought of comparing. I'd like to see this guy take a crack at road testing some other products you never want to think about shopping for. A whole series of reviews of things you never want to have to buy or compare and yet at the same time might and might need a laugh when you do might be awesome. Like a whole series of embarassing products like tampons, douche, condoms, lice-shampoo, personal lubricants, roach sprays, pet odor sprays, breath sprays, etc.
It's not just old peole who end up having to wear these. If you have a baby, you might need these post-delivery.
Exit Ghost's main character has to wear them, too, because of prostate cancer. As I remember, he was able to keep a sort of black humor about it all.
#19- Dumb Hollywood comedy is my favorite genre. For humiliation humor, is there anything better than Meet the Parents or Something about Mary. I need some good dumb comedy to soothe this weary soul.
Before I finally got a hysterectomy, adult diapers were the only thing left that could contain the excessive menstrual flow and let me get more than a few minutes sleep without making me and my house look like a crime scene. Even so, I made more than one late night drive, sitting on a pile of dark colored towels over a trash bag, to the all-night pharmacy to restock. I never wanted to become a connoisseur of various brands of adult diapers, but I can say that Depends underwear made the best of an otherwise intolerable situation.
It has the faint smell of Johnny Knoxville "Jackass" gimmick to it as well.
No. Then he would have squeezed it into a glass, drunk it, thrown it up and drunk it again. Never, ever, ever watch the deleted scenes from the second Jackass movie. You have been warned.
This was way too funny.
great Daniel Ellsberg reference.
Ha!
Heh. I read the name of the pictured product as "Certainly."
As in "Why yes, of course!"
* * *
There was a NYTimes article the other week about Kimberly-Clark's high-tech baby diaper testing lab. They had rows of headless, armless baby mannikins with articulated legs and holes for delivery of synthetic leakage and dumpage. Very freaky.
As the daughter of the inventor of Depends (no, I'm not kidding), I'm amused!
Variations on this have already been said, but it certainly seems to be a healthy attitude, keeping a sense of humor about the challenges of living and growing old.
I'm surprised no-one's pointed out the utility of these for all-night gaming sessions, or as productivity-boosting office tools. Don't waste that bathroom break, people.
Maybe you don't find that funny. I do. OTOH, I can't stand what passes for humor in, say, most Hollywood comedies, because it's all based on embarrassment and humiliation. Even if the character brought it on hirself, I'm not amused; I have empathy for them and just feel embarrassed myself. Ick.
Xopher, you nailed it. I can't stand comedy that is all about humiliation, and it's so popular in mainstream American humour. I end up just cringing in sympathetic embarrassment. There are American shows I find hilarious, such as Arrested Development and Titus, but the very failure of those shows to thrive probably says something.
And no, this is not to say that the American mainstream has cornered the market on horrible humiliation humour - across the pond there is that awful Ricky Gervais. I tried to watch Extras, but if anything, that was the worst of the lot.
What brand does NASA buy? It figures they would have the best for long launch count-downs and cross-country driving.
I was in the Depends Olympics, no joke:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oqTtulB6cgY
Sadly I didn't win. That's me in the black shirt.
Working for World Industries was awesome.
This is an absolute community service - an open discussion paired with a solid method can only help to remove stigma and embarrassment that may come with incontinence and relying on such products.
To think that this article is making fun of the products or the users of them is simply absurd. It's attitudes like that that make such problems shameful or taboo'd.
When the time comes for me to don a pair of adult diapers (it's inevitable, if lifestyle and genetics have anything to say about it) I'll be happy to have resources like this around that aren't afraid to make a bit of light of what is an everyday thing for many, many people.
@Antinous:
Dear Sweet God. Seriously, I have a cast iron stomach for most things but just your description gave me the dry heaves.
I think when Knoxville dies (which at this rate should be any day) he must MUST be dissected and studied. He's either a great leap forward for mankind (survivability, pain tolerance) or a throwback to some terrible ancient ancestor too dumb to feel pain.
Gag.
Hey . . . the title to this post sounded familiar. It took me a while, but I remembered where I'd seen it before:
"Rating The Adult Diapers" by T. Herman Zweibel
@MGFARRELLY:
By suggesting Knoxville, you're closer than you thought. Before it was bought out by Larry Flynt's Hustler Publishing and watered down, "Big Brother Magazine," a skateboard magazine, did a review of adult diapers. This was around 14 years ago.
In case you had never heard of Big Brother, you should know that the first episodes of Jackass were made from snippets of Big Brother's first few annual movies.
I have an uncle who wears adult diapers, and I know my mom often buys several packs for him. After having read the whole article, I actually found it quite informative and will most likely be sending it to my mom. And yes, it did crack some jokes, but I didn't find them offensive at all and they weren't exactly targeted at the wearers of adult diapers, more like using comedy to describe the feelings of wearing one in a not so disgusting way.
...or he could be reviewing them for the adult baby section of the fetish crowd. You never know.
There are days when I'm on campus all day, teaching and taking class when I don't get a farking bathroom break for up to six hours at a shot. If we're listing where diapers could be useful, don't forget graduate students who have back to back to back stuff. There are some sadistic mofo professors on my campus. One in particular keeps class in session until he thinks he's done (sometimes as long as 35 min over) and will often say something important as soon as you give up and get up from squirming in your chair. You just about don't dare go for a piss.
Uh, I went to High School with the author, and no, I'm not kidding either -- this is hilarious. I just talked to him about it. Looks like Gawker slammed him pretty good too.
I just think this whole thing is hilarious. Fuck yes. I am picturing Justin and his hairy legs peeing himself in a lonely bathroom, drunk off his ass.
That image alone, is priceless.
Xopher @19
& AlisonG76 @45
I absolutely concur re: humiliation humour - there's no fun in it for me at all. I first noticed the rot with the ubiquitous "heh hah" of Nelson Muntz in the Simpsons.
However, (having vicariously experienced the reality of primary incontinence through a couple of close relatives), I really don't feel that Justin Peters is poking fun at the sufferers.
And re: Ricky Gervais - having first encountered him on The 11 o'clock Show in the UK, where his assumed (and horribly convincing)character was the most obnoxious, bigotted bastard you could hope never to encounter... the humour surely comes from the recognition of that awfulness, and our fondness for the man comes from ~his~ recognition and portrayal of such.
I tend to think that, if you can't laugh at yourself, you have a much bigger problem than incontinence.
Great article. And some people need to grow a sense of humor. It's always the ones who are claiming that they are protecting others that call this kind of thing unfunny and offensive.
Humor helps people get through the day. If you can laugh at what's going on around you, and at your own problems, you'll find that it's all a lot easier to get through.
People are in dire need of these products. I found a great resource at affordable pricing for .
This is a great article and amusing.
My grandmother had a bedwetting problem and I had to get her som adult diapers. I tried some of the ones that where reviewed, but they did not work out that well. The best one's that I bought at www.ionmeds.com . They brand was from a company called medline. This brand had superior absorbancy.
I am the marketing director for www.yourdiaper.com and I think it's great that you can buy adult diapers online instead of dealing with the limited selection and high prices at the drug or grocery stores.
Also, it's a lot less humiliation.