Miraculous radio-controlled milking-machine of 1931

With only a five-foot length of copper, it was possible for the farmer of 1931 to milk his cows by radio control!

THERE seems to be no end to the versatility of radio in these days of electrical and mechanical miracles—not even cows and street cars are immune to the influences of its radiations. As a curtain raiser at the annual radio show held recently in St. Louis, a street car was operated from a distance by a mere man with a radio transmitter in his hand, and a Holstein cow was made to dispense her milk by the medium of radio waves, whether she liked it or not.

The mechanism of the trolley car and the mechanism of the milking machine were hooked up to a specially constructed radio receiver using only a five-foot length of copper pipe as an antenna. At a distance stood the operator, holding a portable radio transmitter using a similar antenna, as shown in the accompanying photos. When the key was pressed at the transmitter, the distant receiver in both cases set the machines to operating.

Radio Milks Cows, Runs Street Cars (Feb, 1931)

[#1 posted by dannyhurt28 , September 5, 2008 12:47 AM]

Pretty cow

[#2 posted by Phikus , September 5, 2008 1:25 AM]

Good news! Amoral corporate behemoth Monsanto (who created DDT) has been forced to give up on their campaign to inject all US cows with Posilac (artificial hormone to produce more milk, detrimental to cows.)

http://www.jimhightower.com/node/6577

[#3 posted by FoetusNail , September 5, 2008 6:36 AM]

Would they have ever believed, one day cows would wait in line to be milked by a fully automated milking station. What does a cow think about while waiting in line?

[#4 posted by geo the moose , September 5, 2008 7:10 AM]

"was made to dispense her milk by the medium of radio waves, whether she liked it or not." GO MANKIND!! Make the bovine slaves do our bidding and dispense lacto-treats at our whim.

[#5 posted by Brainspore , September 5, 2008 9:34 AM]

Would they have ever believed, one day cows would wait in line to be milked by a fully automated milking station. What does a cow think about while waiting in line?

I've never seen a fully automated station- I believe humans still have to attach the suction doohickeys to the nipples.

Maybe there is some kind of high-tech automatic nipple-seeking technology now, but I'd hate to be the guy standing nearby if that thing malfunctioned. Just imagine trying to explain yourself to the ER staff with a robotic hose attached to your johnson...

[#6 posted by FoetusNail , September 5, 2008 12:27 PM]

DeLaval Voluntary Milking System

[#7 posted by Jerril , September 5, 2008 1:27 PM]

As Foetusnail points out, there are in fact fully automated milking systems.

"The milking unit comprises a milking machine, a teat position sensor, a robotic arm for automatic teat-cup application and removal and a gate system for controlling cow traffic." The systems generally perform "automatic teat cleaning, milking cup application, milking, and teatdipping". Whatever "teatdipping" is, I really don't want to know.

[#8 posted by Brainspore , September 5, 2008 7:33 PM]

Damn! I stand corrected, and as far from that machine as possible.

[#9 posted by Pipenta , September 6, 2008 9:39 AM]

Hmmm, this reminds me of those remote control vibrators for the ladies. It might just inspire some twisty techy inventor entrepreneur to come up with a model for the gentlemen...

I look forward to seeing it in the next issue of MAKE.