Ridiculous $550,000 crystal Earth-pustule watch (want)
I am such a watch overdrive sucker that I'm even jonesing for this monster, the Colosso, which features what Watchismo calls a "crystal pustule filled with a dimensional earth rotating for local or GMT time." A mere $550,000 (€3,21). On Top of the World with the Hysek COLOSSO
the latest
latest episodes
Title says $550,000 (which I think is correct,) but body says $550,00 (€3,21). I think there are some zeros missing somewhere.
If it were $550/€321, I'd buy this thing in a second. Waaay over the top, but gorgeous.
Wow, it doubles as a wrist splint and triples as a weapon.
Typo in post: "A mere $550,00 (€3,21)."
Missing a 0.
never get it past the TSA
I'd be happy with just that little (rotating?) globe.
So it is? $550,000 or €3,21?
Yes, I know the USD has fallen in value, but that doesn't make any sense.
I can see how 321.00 EUR = 500.00 USD, which assume a 1.55 USD = 1 EUR exchange rate.
Yeah, that price was about to make me cry for my investments.
t's gly, rdcls, nd mprctcl. Smn's gnn by t whn thr r strvng chldrn n th wrld?
Who's the marketing genius that thought including the word "pustule" would be a good selling point?
Does it rotate on pus? Ew!
"abscess" sounded too foreign
#5, I'm in love with that little mini globe too!
r u serious? they advertise this horror as having a PUSTULE? Freudian slip?
You know, forgive me for being observant, but I think the $500,000 to €3,21 thing was, well, a joke.
In fact, I would go out on a limb and say it was cute. Just my humble opinion, that's all. ;)
#8 So glad to be disenvoweled...Nice
If it doesn't measure continental drift, I'm not interested.
I noticed the fellow in the photo has his Colosso on backwards, so that it'll be upside-down when he checks the rotation of his pustule. I know it's just so it looks "nice" in the photo, but shouldn't a fine watch look good either way up?
you lost me at "pustule"
Ick.
Beautiful watch.I just couldn't see myself paying that kind of money.
@16
you misapprehend. Anyone rich enough to own the watch obviously has a servant watch bearer carry it for him. When he desires to know the time, the watch is presented for viewing.
I think that Cory's snide "currency conversions" (where some small Euro figure is converted into a billion zillion dollars, or vice versa) was amusing the first time, but it's really gotten old. Please either use a currency conversion website to get an accurate conversion (in this case, $500,000 rounds to 320,992.71 Euros, or you could call it 321,000 to round off—but that's not "3,21" Euros however you slice it) or just leave it off,
If you haven't noticed lately, Cory likes to make slight exaggerations about the $ to € exchange rate.
Keep it up.
boy, that American peso must really sting you
Is that the actual earth in the watch?
That's gorgeous. I don't care if it's illegible. If I had the kind of dough to splurge on that I wouldn't give a damn what day it was much less what time.
Still worth a smidge more than the Swiss Franc, but disparaging Swiss currency just doesn't have the same cachet.
It has a Minute Repeater function. SWEET! That means that on command it will count out the time struck on tiny tuned chimes. No lie. This was invented for telling time in teh dark before electricity or luminous numerals.
Wow, a working Time Bandits map on your wrist.
Possible source of confusion:
In some European countries, a comma (,) is used as the digit seperator and a period (.) as a thousands seperator.
550,00 would mean "five hundred and fifty dollars and no cents."
I think it's hideous. It looks like something a character in a Gerry Anderson show would wear to indicate that he is in The Future.
How to make a simple device complicated.
Rube Goldberg returns.
That's a mere 4,583 Boing Boing hoodies!
or
I could get 4,583 Boing Boing hoodies for that!
Bogg! The Omni! What... what happened to it? It's all wrong!
#29 beat me to it. It's $550.
In Deutschland, the price would be written as €550,-
Price aside, I'd rather have just about any TokyoFlash.
Heh, #33 fail.
I'm just wishing at this point my $ were worth €.
For $550,000, it'd be a monument to excess. $550 is more reasonable but it's still pretty ugly and I wouldn't want it on my wrist.
That's beyond ugly. It's fugly.
I'm surprised that this wasn't labeled "steampunk" since the term usually comes up when Cory posts something slightly cool and mechanical.
Watches are so 2006.
S... sr's cmmnt s shwn s:
"t's gly, rdcls, nd mprctcl. Smn's gnn by t whn thr r strvng chldrn n th wrld? "
Whch,f crs, w cn ll rd nywy... t's lgtmt cmmnt...
r flks hr rlly tht frd f lttl dsgrmnt?
nope, but they have an allergy to bad manners
Totally pinned the needle on my Geeker Counter.
Bob,
I don't puzzle out dsmvwlld text. Not even my own. I was never any good at that jumbled word shit. I'll bet a lot of other people also pass; why bother?
HuronBob,
If you have an axe to grind, you can do it in the Moderation Policy thread.
I like this sort of thing for the techniques used in the design and construction. This is deep Watch Geek stuff, not a consumer product for telling the time.
It's not surprising that people find it ugly next to a G-Shock or a Skagen, but did you think this was designed as a consumer product with you in mind?
Damn thing doesn't even work. What the hell is 38 o clock?
No axe to grind, and no desire to take a legitimate discussion to an obscure "moderation policy thread"...
Thanks for the offer... I'll continue to comment here when it seems appropriate...
no LCD screen even, shame, it's big enough for letterbox format
I don't know... looks to me like it is a 3D Studio model. Look closely.
Description of the watch at the Hysek site contains some machine-translation poetry:
"...as hanged up in wheels Milky Way, a three dimensions' earth of 12mm diameter at 12 O'Clock turns on itself in 24 hours..."
"...this mechanism transforms by request the intangible hours, quarters and minutes in a crystal sound...."
"...will fascinate the amateurs of pure mechanic...."
Perfect for the man who has everything bt th hg f prnt nd dsprtly nds t fll hl wth xpnsv jnk.
I love the watch, but $550,000!, thats a little bit excessive.
vst my wbst t: http://www.hmsfthrch.nt
Kenny,
Your blog link goes on your profile page, not your comments. Thanks.
'38' is just wrong. Those are the date wheels. 0-3 on the left and 0-9 on the right. They should read only the numbers '01' through '31', inclusive.
How on Earth did that photo shoot error happen unless it's a joke?
#53
Maybe that's the date - as in 3rd of the 8th?
#53 - it's fairly obvious that $550,000 buys not a watch, but a wrist-mounted trans-dimensional teleporter. This picture was in fact taken on Earth Delta, which orbits a binary star system. The "pustule" is actually a contained holographic projector that helps identify which dimension you are in.
No, no, you're all wrong - you're looking at it upside down. It doesn't say "38", it says "8E". Makes perfect sense now :-)
Maybe that's the date - as in 3rd of the 8th
Maybe. Whatever it is, it needs to be expressed as a number between 00 and 39, so it can't be week of the year.
For those of you that like the little earth concept, here is a much less expensive version.
http://www.thinktheearth.net/watch/index.html
pus·tule (pĹs'chĹ«l, pĹs'tyĹ«l) pronunciation
n.
1. A small inflamed elevation of the skin that is filled with pus; a pimple.
2. A small swelling similar to a blister or pimple.
3. Something likened to an inflamed, pus-filled lesion: “a cool glimpse of green between hot pustules of sooty sprawl” (Nicholas Proffitt).
It's just too sexy for my wrist. I would have to keep it locked up or risk unfavorable comparison.
Seriously, how about an all mechanical wrist orrery? Want!
I'm holding out for the head-mounted armillary sphere.
I believe the phrase is, "dude, I just filled the cup."
@ #8:
I agree, it is both rdcls and mprctcl. But isn't that part of the allure? It's FUN, man. 62-jewel movement?! Good lord, I need another cup.
For that price you'd expect it to at least not look so damn tacky. Proof that money doesn't equal taste, even when it comes to non-diamond studded watches.
Hmmmm. Nt sr hw fl bt th wtch. Hwvr, d knw tht gt lss nd lss ntrstd n rdng BB s s cmmnts dsmvwld, nd whn xpndng thm t t th rgnl cmmnt, rlz tht plt, nn-ffnsv sttmnts f prsnl pnn r 'clnsd' fr smns bnft.
f dd wn th wtch, t wld prbbly tll m ts tm t vd blgs tht d nt llw rspctfl frdm f xprssn. BB nly ds s n lmtd bss.
Frm Wkpd - >"Rgrdng th s f dsmvwlng t plc ntrnt blg cmmnt sctns, Xn Jrdn, c-dtr f Bng Bng, sys f th prctc, "th dlg stys, bt th msnthrp lks rdcls, nd th mtnl stng s ntrlzd."[3] ls, Bng Bng prdcrs clm tht dsmvwlng snds clr mssg t ntrnt frms s t wht bhvr s nccptbl."
pprntly, xprssng yr pnn s nccptbl bhvr.
Cory Doctorow, I hope you make tens of millions so that you can indulge your every materialistic, fetishistic whim. But if you ever tell anyone that you blew a wad on a wrist gadget like this, for the posted price, you would never live it down.
Marley9,
Well said... however
Prediction: That comment will be dsmvwld shortly. You will be accused of having an "ax to grind". You will be directed to post your comment in a thread that is never read.
I will suffer the same fate... My behavior is certainly inappropriate....
#66: nah.
If marley does get disemvoweled its for posting totally off topic. Like totally and completely.
Its called threadjacking, and its a no no on 95% of message boards out there. Simple net etiquette, not totalitarian regime.
whatever. Fact is, having to explain the same things over and over gets tedious. As does having an endless string of complainers that refuse to see their "new" comments in the context of all those that went before. Right on about the threadjacking, Talia! And Huronbob? anyone who wishes can review your entire comment history by clicking on your name - and draw their own conclusions about who is a crank here.
I don't think that calling into question the morality of owning a watch worth half a million dollars is "threadjacking". Purchasing an extravagant consumer object like this is little different from say Arnold Schwarzenegger owning and operating five Humvees.
This watch literally screams wealth and privilege. Criticizing that is fair game. As far as I am concerned anyone who purchases a watch like this is committing an immoral act. No less immoral than the private Leer Jet they use for a quick jaunt to their private island to visit their slaves assembling running shoes.
#69 no, its not. Going off on a tangent about how bad disemvowelling is in a thread about an overpriced watch is threadjacking. And, uh, this is kind of threadjacking too. Sorry. I just wanted to explain. :p
Noen, there is no "fair game" with regard to criticizing BoingBoing content. This is Cory's (and the others') blog and if they don't like it they can edit out. You know that. One has to think that C.D's values are mature enough to only want this sort of watch because its price makes it a crazy-fun fantasy. Like the Jet I want to own but won't ever buy. Sometimes it's just fun to want.
Dimestore, good link.
Eustace @60:
Yes! An all-mechanical wrist orrery in finely machined brass or steel, with tiny semiprecious planets going 'round. Want want want!HuronBob @66, you don't merit it. Besides, sometimes you post decent comments.
Marley9 was disemvowelled for being off-topic, pompous, boring, full of rank self-pity, and did I mention being off-topic? Also, he sounds exactly like a guy I've banned here more than once.
Noen @69, if you think that watch is literally screaming wealth and privilege, you need to take your meds. You're also being a bit thick. Cory made it clear in the original entry that the price of that thing is absurd -- and yet, it's a very cool artifact.
When I go to museums, a lot of the things I see there are very expensive artifacts made for the rich and powerful. They're still cool. It's one of the reasons I'm rooting for programmable flexible small-scale computerized fabrication technologies: I want everyone to have the really cool short-run artifacts their hearts desire. I also think that if we could have the stuff we really want, we'd buy a lot less fill-in junk from WalMart.
So yay for the watch! Yay for orreries, daft wooden-geared clocks, steampunquerie, basement computerized cutting machines, overcomplicated Oriental wooden joinery, ornately etched laptop covers, and all the other joyful material culture that's been growing up. More like that!
if I had megabucks..... I'd have an orrery composed of my posse dressed as the near planets and stars. They'd have to orbit me at the correct positions at all times. The could compete with each other for the Sun and Moon jobs. (King Louis got nuthin on me!)
Jeff:
Exactly. Like the really big Van de Graaff Generator and Tesla Coil I want. And the pygmy mammoth.TAKUAN, your attention is flattering.
Please folks, the comments that have been deleted (mine and others) were not off topic, they presented a perspective on this type of excessive consumerism that is important..
If boingboing has come to the point that we can't discuss this, it might be worth some thought and discussion..
Yes, I know that this blog belongs to the mods, they can delete, edit, ban as they wish... I was hoping that my comments would provoke discussion. Sometimes staying on the same narrow road too long is a dangerous thing...
so you'll just drive on the sidewalk for a bit?
TNH
You're also being a bit thick. Cory made it clear in the original entry that the price of that thing is absurd -- and yet, it's a very cool artifact.
But I wasn't criticizing Cory, I was simply commenting that the ostentatious displays of those who would buy this watch, or 5 Humvees, or 7 multi-million dollar homes with gold fixtures, is immoral. A watch worth half a million dollars doesn't speak (or shout) of commodity fetishism? That's silly.
One has to think that C.D's values are mature enough to only want this sort of watch because its price makes it a crazy-fun fantasy.
One would think that people could not personalize everything they read on the internet. Seriously, can no think abstractly any more? Must everything be concrete and literal?
If I critique an idea I am not attacking you personally.
so you'll just drive on the sidewalk for a bit?
I'd endorse that so long as he keeps going & doesn't look back.
But I wasn't criticizing Cory, I was simply commenting that the ostentatious displays of those who would buy this watch, or 5 Humvees, or 7 multi-million dollar homes with gold fixtures, is immoral. A watch worth half a million dollars doesn't speak (or shout) of commodity fetishism? That's silly.
Nope. It's a statement piece intended for collectors. This 'watch' and others like it are not consumer products. They're advertisements of the designer's ability. The buyer of this will likely never wear it and he's not intended to. Rather than Hummers, the automotive equivalent would be the Bugatti Royale.
ANNOUNCER: Annnnnnnnnd it's HuronBob, heroically taking up the fallen flag of boring, off-topic self-pity!
Cut to:
JAPANESE-STYLE ANIMATION: SYNCHRONIZED POM LINE OF SMALL CUTE ANTHROPOMORPHIC ANIMALS, CHANTING:
Yay! Hero! Huron! Bob!
Yay! Hero! Huron! Bob!
He is boring! (He is boring!)
He's off-topic! (He's off-topic!)
All feel sorry! (Sorry, yes!)
For Huron Bob! (Huron Bob!)
Animation repeats three times.
INTERVIEWER: Tell us, HuronBob, when did you start giving a sht about "excess consumerism"? What is this "important perspective" you have to offer the world, and why are you posting it in a comment thread? Do you have any theories about why your comments haven't "provoked discussion" the way you'd hoped? And what do you have to say to the critics who've suggested that the real issue is that you've run out of things to say?
HURONBOB: I knew you'd say that! Go ahead! Disemvowel me!
INTERVIEWER: (oblivious) The whole world is waiting to hear!
Cut back to animation:
POM LINE:
Yay! Hero! Huron! Bob!
Yay! Hero! Huron! Bob! ...
(BREAK FOR COMMERCIAL)
ever seen Gorgeous Tiny Chicken Machine Show?
(RESUME FOLLOWING COMMERCIAL)
Enter NOEN, dressed in an elaborate opera costume.
(Recitative: "Non critica")
Sed ut perspiciatis,
unde omnis iste natus
error sit voluptatem
accusantium
doloremque laudantium,
totam rem aperiam
eaque ipsa, quae ab illo
inventore veritatis
et quasi architecto
beatae vitae dicta sunt,
explicabo.
Nemo enim ipsam voluptatem,
quia voluptas sit,
aspernatur aut odit
aut fugit,
sed quia consequuntur
magni dolores eos,
qui ratione voluptatem sequi nesciunt,
neque porro quisquam est,
qui dolorem ipsum,
quia dolor sit,
amet,
consectetur,
adipisci velit...
And, with THAT boingboing emerges into the shining light of intelligent discourse.
(BREAK FOR COMMERCIAL)
Oooh, kettle, you don't look a day over thirty!
Have you been using Grecian Formula for Pots?
I've always wanted a huge Tesla Coil too. Are we really talking about the thing with eletricity or was that code?
I want a Tesla Coil big enough to fill the sky with lightening! It will require its own fushion reactor, but so what!?
Jeff, that's it, down to the last detail.
Lab coat, WWI goggles, and Bach's Toccata and Fugue in D Minor are strictly optional.
I like good insults,
I like wrist orreries,
Exaggeration!
all in http!
boom-de-yata
boom-de-yata
boom-de-yata
boom-de-yata
(Huron Bob: To recover your footing, read Ross @79 and take it from there.)
All other things being equal, the person who replies in rhyming verse wins.
Some timepieces from George Daniels the greatest living watchmaker. He has completed approximately 36 entirely hand made watches in his career and just turned 82 years old this month.
His book Watchmaking is the best available introduction to horological design and fabrication.
(Teresa, I appreciate what appears to be an attempt to calm this a bit. I honestly don't feel that my footing is unstable, just perhaps not in sync with the forum, therefore I'll just bow out of the discussion)
"My footing is unstable ....
I'll be back when I am able ....
I'm not in sync with this forum ....
looks like THEY have the quorum ....
So I bid you all good day
hate to see it end this way ....
I say farewell, I say adieu ...
I say F*CK to all of you!"
the end?
you did not like his posting/ all those moderators hosting/ his comfort level dipped for all to see / teresa called him boring/ perhaps he's just a-whoring/ or maybe he just had to take a pee
Nope. It's a statement piece intended for collectors. This 'watch' and others like it are not consumer products.
Collectors are consumers. They are in fact the ultimate consumer, one that fetishizes consumption itself. As such the watch is no different than say, a diamond encrusted skull. An extravagant obscenity who's ridiculousness people didn't have any trouble recognizing before.
minTphresh FTW!
i accept cash, and most major credit cards...
Collectors are consumers. They are in fact the ultimate consumer, one that fetishizes consumption itself
True, but the Collector who buys this watch is only one consumer, not all consumers. On the scale of societal morality where you're painting this picture of disgrace, the purchase of a single wealthy collector is infinitesimal and insignificant.
Watch collecting and horological showpieces like this are niche activities for extreme enthusiasts. This has no bearing on the larger society's consumption patterns because it's so far out of view of the populace at large.
You may think nobody should buy this because it costs too much and you're entitled to that opinion, but you haven't demonstrated any familiarity with this market and its features to give your opinion of proper value credibility.
Anything looks ridiculous taken out of its proper context.
MinTphresh FTW!
Gary, not bad at all.
(blush) thanx, TNH! (/blush)
Oh, so THAT's what a poetry slam looks like.
I'd give Gary 1st place. MinTphresh a close second.
[Enter insect_hooves in black undertaker woolens and white choker scarf, face painted pasty white with bulging latex forehead prosthesis, muttering, "mumble ... posting under the influence .. grumble .."]
[Ahem] "Two verses of 'Raving', a Bad Poem" -
Once upon a Boing thread gnarly,
As I quaffed fermented barley,
Past occas'nal bland or snory comments by a trollish bore.
While I nodded, nearly napping,
Clicking 'round, (postponing fapping),
Suddenly there flashed a snappy rapping on my monitor.
''Tis an aberration only,
Rapping on my monitor -
Only this, and nothing more.'
Steering true the Watch discussion,
Using syllabic percussion,
Sparked rejoinders from curmudgeons written off as sore.
''Tis creative moderation!
For the Win Repudiation
Fuels our palpable elation --
Stuff of intartubey lore!'
Negentropic opination,
Commentary paramour.
Others, I advise: Lurk moar!
[insect_hooves strides dizzily off stage, wrist to forehead]
A new winner, I think.
cake for evryone!
I am the very model of a pustule horological
With information temporal, arcane and chronological
My retrograde time zones display with double linearity
With indication arrows to avoid any disparity.
My timbre rings the hours with a tone ecclesiastical
My two and sixty jewels keep time in measure most fantastical
I've eighteen K vibrations in an hour for my frequency
But...
My price strikes some as being an offense to common decency!
My price strikes some as being an offense to common decency!
My price strikes some as being an offense to common decency!
My price strikes some as being an offense to common decency!
The cake is a lie.
You may think nobody should buy this because it costs too much and you're entitled to that opinion
Thank you, that's all I ask for.
AIIYEEEE! Wikked, Antinous!
Bravo, Antinous! Bravoissimo!
I'm looking for something appropriate to throw....(how the hell do you follow THAT?)
bravo, anti! we are not worthy. i hope cake is still an option.
and remember, noen, that cake is a lie, which reveals TRUTH!
*snif'*
It's beautiful.
Mybe f w ngr TNH ngh, sh wll rn fr th hlls.
D y ll smll that? ts rttn mdrtn.
InsectFeets and Monseur Antinous,
I bow before your superior wordsmithing. My humble prose was dashed off at a moment's thought, tis obvious yours took a longer measure of time, deep thought, and clever wordplay to accomplish what my words could not - trigger the joy and sheer delight of the Happy Mutants.
Bravo, good people, bravo!
The cake has lied before .. it shall again.
OK, this is getting absurd, this sudden rhyming of words. People don't just burst out into song, the notion is flat out wrong. I've told you at least a million times, no one worth their salt speaks in rhymes. And now this disease has ruined the entire thread, and I can't get this cursed rhyming out of my head.
(sniff!) BEST. THREAD.(snifffff) EVAR!(sniffy, sniff, sniff)
Do we have a rhyming demon among us?
*looks around suspiciously*
So, if I get my *own* skull encrusted with diamonds, is that still consumerism, or is it just accesorizing? Because, you know, I've already GOT the skull.
I've seen the light now,
a wonderful thing!
Ridiculous watches,
and comments that sing.
TNH posting,
mightily changing
the course of self-pity
in online venues.
If only I'd grown up
somewhere with schools,
I'd function poetically,
know all the rules,
but still and all, really,
when once you get started,
I see now that somehow
it gets hard to stop.
So I will.
Antinous, very good!
I finally made it back to this thread; now I am filled with joys. Praise to all the poets!
Noen: Collectors are consumers. They are in fact the ultimate consumer, one that fetishizes consumption itself
Rossindetroit: True, but the Collector who buys this watch is only one consumer, not all consumers. On the scale of societal morality where you're painting this picture of disgrace, the purchase of a single wealthy collector is infinitesimal and insignificant.
Or you could say that at this level, collectors are some kind of maecenes, patrons of the arts. Clock making involves design, fine metalwork, etc. And then, even one purchase by a single collector is significant for the artists who worked on such a piece.