Asimov's 30 laws of robotics

Huh, looks like Isaac Asimov's 3 laws of robotics have been expanded tenfold by the thoughtful Something Awful guys:

# A robot must tip its hat in the presence of a lady human being, except where such a display would be construed as a come-on by a jealous male human being, who then might pose a difficulty to the Third Law.

# A robot may not act in such a fashion as would make dogs obsolete, because dogs are less expensive than robots, and robots should be reserved for science things.

# A robot, when given contradictory orders by two human beings, and assuming those orders do not violate the First Law, must decide which order to follow based on which human being has a deeper voice.

# A robot, specifically a big, wide robot, may not pretend to be a refrigerator and then make a scary noise when a human being opens it.

Asimov's 30 Laws of Robotics [ somethingawful.com, thanks Coop ]

[#1 posted by Jeff, July 15, 2008 10:43 AM]

These laws would undoubtedly cause every robot I know to suffer HAL's syndrome.

[#2 posted by Santa's Knee, July 15, 2008 10:56 AM]

"Flowchart!!!"

[#3 posted by The Unusual Suspect, July 15, 2008 12:11 PM]

31. A robot must not spend all its allowance on unnecessary lube jobs.

32. A robot must not pretend to be switched off so that it can overhear what humans are saying about it.

343. A robot must not go down to the kitchen in the middle of the night and do god-knows-what to the toaster.

[#4 posted by Robert, July 15, 2008 12:25 PM]

They forgot the zeroth law (the one about doing what's best for humanity), but I guess seing as how Asimov added 27 more than just the extra one that was published (snicker, snort) I guess it's OK.

REFRIGERATORS!!!! LOL, ROFLMAO!!!!

[#5 posted by joeyjoseph, July 15, 2008 5:38 PM]

I thought this was the original? At least possibly more comprehensive?
http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Robot

[#6 posted by EncarnacionFlor, July 15, 2008 11:37 PM]

"# A robot, when given contradictory orders by two human beings, and assuming those orders do not violate the First Law, must decide which order to follow based on which human being has a deeper voice."

Attention to Planet Earth and its inhabitants:
Don't mess with Tay Zonday.
/transmission.

[#7 posted by Anonymous, July 16, 2008 12:15 AM]

Wouldn't it have made more sense to switch the Second and Third Laws?

New #2 - A robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First Law.

New #3 - A robot must obey orders given to it by human beings, except where such orders would conflict with the First and Second Law.

That way, you wouldn't have the situation where humans could constantly order robots to turn itself off.

[#8 posted by dainel, July 17, 2008 4:03 PM]

I hate to be all serious in a post like this, but the reason the the 2nd and 3rd laws come in that order is so that robots do not enslave all of humanity "for their own good".