Funny espresso rant
Jeff Simmermon recounts his recent experience with a snobbish barista at Murky Coffee in Arlington, VA.
Murky Coffee, Arlington: Hold That Espresso Between Your Knees (And I Am Not Lying)I just ordered my usual summertime pick-me-up: a triple shot of espresso dumped over ice. And the guy at the counter looked me in the eye with a straight face and said “I’m sorry, we can’t serve iced espresso here. It’s against our policy.”
The whole world turned brown and chunky for a second. Flecks of corn floated past my pupils, and it took me a second to blink it all away.
“Okay,” I said, “I’ll have a triple espresso and a cup of ice, please.” He rolled his eyes and rang it up, took my money, gave me change. I stood there and waited. Then the barista called me over to the bar. I reached for it, and he leaned over and locked his eyes with mine, saying “Hey man. What you’re about to do … that’s really, really Not Okay.”
I grab a 50/50 blend of decaf/regular sumatra beans at Starbucks once per week and grind that at home. Thats the extent of my coffee snobishness.
Two blocks from my place. I know what I'll be ordering this afternoon.
I guess their motto is: the customer is not always right and so what if they are?
At times like this, you realize you're just dealing with a deranged person.
Thankfully he wasn't (yet) a high official in the Bush Jr. administration in charge of crucial public policy.
I watched a very similar exchange once at Ritual Roasters in San Francisco. A guy asked for a decaf mocha, and the counter guy gave a really pompous lecture about protecting their mission and their brand or something, all by way of telling him he could not in fact have a decaf mocha.
Customer, dripping with sarcasm: "Uh. Okay. So, what, it's like a purity thing for you guys or something?"
Barista, completely straight faced: "Yes. Exactly."
And this is why you should always check for testicle talc on your coffee.
The customer isn't always right - and I'm glad there are shops like Murky around.
Murky is well known in coffee/espresso fan circles. They're one of the first shops to go with a Synesso machine, and have been setting a gold bar on quality. I live in NYC and consider it a treat when I'm down in DC to make it over there.
Espresso over ice really does 'shock' the coffee, and often ruins the shot. Blends , grinds and machines are dialed in to get certain profiles - and there's a world of difference whenever variables are changed.
The shop had two choices: serve the coffee without a word and risk the coffee tasting like crap and tarnishing their reputation, or try to enforce a store policy that would leave an irate customer blogging about their 'policy' but not about a shitty drink they knew they'd be served.
F**k him. It's a man's drink anyway, and the only men at Arlington are buried there.
One of our bloggers was there yesterday and has a slightly different take on what happened. Sure, Murky still gave him the evil eye, but it's funny how these things take on a Rashomon light.
Years ago in Sea-Tac airport, I made the mistake of asking a young female barista at an airport SBC outlet how they did their cappucinos (I basically was trying to get a dry one). She huffily answered "This is Seattle, and in Seattle a cappucino is a cappucino". In a city where the busses have poems dedicated to coffee, that's par for the course.
Of course, if she were really a purist she'd have told me what I heard in Italy: Signor, a cappucino is for breakfast! At other times of day, they'll give you an espresso macchiato and that's as close as you're going to get.
I think the shop had a third option: Explain WHY they wouldn't do it. That seems to be what was missing. Condescension does nothing but piss people off, a little education might have made a repeat customer.
I order a triple espresso and get an extra cup with a few ice cubes in it. I then pour the espresso over the ice, add a bunch of sweetener and then add ~6 ounces of half-n-half.
My wife says "It takes like an ice cream cone!" :)
Oh, please, Jonathan. There's another perfectly acceptable option - "We'd encourage you not to, because [explanation about taste]. Are you sure you want that?" And then act accordingly.
Anyway, they're not *really* concerned about tight adherence to rules. Why did they have to close their DC location? Oh, right, they couldn't bother paying their taxes. Maybe they had a policy against it?
lk hw vryn blvs tht ths rlly hppnd. Whn t s clr tht ths s wht th nrd WSHD H SD. Ppl hv blgs bcs thy dn't hv th blls t sy thngs lk ths n pblc. f t ws m th kd wld b hsptlzd wth 2nd dgr brns t hs fc.
I think that is unacceptable. I was a barista for a very non-indy place off and on for years. And if a customer showed interest, we would gladly tell them about shot timing and making great coffee. But if a customer asked for a crappy "blended coffee beverage", which I personally find disgusting in texture and taste, I also served that with a smile.
While it is the mission to serve the best product possible and share knowledge with your customer, you shouldn't deny a request from a customer that will not harm them or your business. Perhaps they aren't a supertaster and can't tell the difference between the taste of a good shot of espresso and a bad one.
OR if your policy is not to serve certain beverages, it should be clearly stated on the menu, and not served with pompous disdain by the barista.
The real problem here is this guy's addiction to needless, overpriced coffee.
#14 posted by SpicyMeatSandwich , July 14, 2008 12:19 PM
I like how everyone believes that this really happened.
...If it was me the kid would be hospitalized with 2nd degree burns to his face.
WARNING: INTERNET TOUGH GUY DETECTED
It's VA, fer Crissakes. Those 'cnsrvtvs' don't like anything that doesn't have the stamp of central authority all over it.
The next thing you know that 'Barista' will probably be telling you that vtng fr bm 'rlly sn't cl' and that same-sex marriages need to be punished by death.
#2
I want to see a follow up. Not because I want you to go fuck with a barista, but because I want to see what happens in le monde réel when a minor incident between two people gets picked up and slung around the world by the Tubes.
In the comments at And I Am Not Lying there's a link to another blog post by someone who observed the exchange...there are photos on Flickr...soon a horde of flashmobbing philistines will descend on Murky, demanding perverted coffee! Yes. Yes!
thanks for posting that, #9... the thread there is VERY enlightening. i'd be interested to know if that really is his dollar with his comment scrawled on it, now posted above the register. the fact that they had a sign up that specifically *says* they don't ice espresso is interesting, too. i agree it's kind of bad customer service, but if they are (1) known for their passion and precision in all things coffee and (2) have the policy posted, then why push it? i agree that maybe the barista should have taken the opportunity to educate about why this is their policy, rather than just be a snot about it, but overall, i'd had to say i'm on the side of the coffee place for having standards and trying to keep a level of quality you can't find that often.
@Spicymeatsandwich-
And people comment on blogs so they can anonymously threaten baristas they read about with assaults they wouldn't have the balls to perform in real life.
If you want to talk tough and belittle "nerds", there's a better forum for you.
"I guess their motto is: the customer is not always right and so what if they are?"
No I think their motto is "we can treat our customers like crap." And apparently they are right since this guy bought not only one thing there but two things.
If you get treated like crap at a store and them come back for more should you really be complaining about it? Shouldn't you actually do something about it like, I don't know, not give them any of your money?
It seems to me that he not only got treated like crap but then rewarded them. I think their business model works pretty well if he is reflective of their customers.
Murky Coffee supposedly has some "house rules," none of which apply to espresso nor ice:
From their site:
Q: Any 'house rules' at murky?
A: The only real rule right now is that you can't sleep, or appear to be sleeping, in the shop. Other stuff is common sense stuff, like don't wet the bed. Oh, actually, there's one more rule, but it's not really a rule, because it's more about enforcing an existing rule. If you play Monopoly, you MUST know that the $500 in the middle that you get if you land on "Free Parking" is NOT a bonafide Monopoly rule. Neither is the "you have to go around the board once before you can start buying property" rule. Know your Monopoly rules. That's the rule, buster.
Murky does have a pretty high snob quotient, but they single-handedly redefined my concept of what a latte should be. Unlike Starbucks or any of the other chains, you get what you pay for at Murky. You might have to wade through a sea of yuppies and tolerate obnoxiously haughty baristas, but it's totally worth it.
Quote:
Espresso over ice really does 'shock' the coffee, and often ruins the shot.
you are full of it, my friend, whether you realize it or not. Cold does not "shock" expresso, it merely reveals its characteristics more readily. To think it somehow ruins otherwise excellent espresso is merely a subjective psychological experience, without which all forms of delusional snobbery would be impossible. You're also giving way too much credit to the machine. Because I know what I am doing, I pull perfect shots all by my wee little self in my home on a cheap machine, and I assure you when I drink my espresso on ice it is every bit as "good," just different. Oh yeah, also tell that story about shocking the espresso to the makers of fine tiramisu. They will find it as amusing as I do.
Now, what ice might do is either add it's own flavor or, as I mentioned before, reveal inferior coffee- and that I believe whole heartedly. If you use ice made from filtered water and don't scrimp on the beans, icing espresso should be an exquisite experience. I have had bad iced espresso, but only because the temperature makes it easier to spot problems with the brew. A lot of espressos are made with beans that are too far gone- a trip to your local 'bucks will reveal this readily, with no temperature modification required. Some beans are just on the edge, so it takes a bit more attention to determine. But all flaws are immediately evident when the espresso is cold. It's strikingly so, which is why I evaluate new coffee cold rather than hot.
I must also chuckle at the barista who think they are purists- if anything the experience of cold espresso can be more "pure" than hot. Pack that in your basket and pull a good long one!
Sure sounds like a coffee shop to me.
i frequently order a triple espresso over ice. you know why snobby barista? Because that's what i like to drink. Hey, i don't tell you that you can't live with your mother anymore.
I like water.
I once ordered an espresso to go at Murky Coffee. They refused the order. They said that it can only be served in a ceramic cup because a paper cup ruins the shot. Any other drink, though, no problem. I was a bit annoyed, too.
More on my last experience there in my review on Yelp: http://www.yelp.com/biz/murky-coffee-arlington#hrid:-XrDIFjFtUUPdnB0U3E5sA
I kind of like the snobbery at this place. It's amusing, but maybe I'd be less amused I was the one who wasn't getting his fix made up the way I like it.
@ ANTINOUS #26:
I like water.
Five points.
This is why Starbucks is closing shops left and right, and Dunkin Donuts is expanding.
They sell you good coffee sans barista bullshit.
DD iced coffee is pretty much the only thing that'll keep you going during one of Boston's insane heatwaves, and since, in some parts of Boston, a medium iced coffee will just about get you to the next DD on your way to wherever you're walking.
You want an espresso with a couple of extra shots over ice? "Sure, here you go."
THAT'S how you sell coffee, no BS about the "integrity" of the coffee, or how what you're doing is really non OK.
Oh, and DD does not incinerate their beans, unlike Starbucks.
("Starbucks incinerates their beans")
OMFG THIS. I've been waiting for SOMEONE to notice this.
Do they have Coca-Cola? I like Coca-Cola.
I was dragged into a Starbucks once and they refused to give me lemon for my iced tea. They weren't allowed to have any in the store because the lemon scent interfered with the coffee smell.
Beans? "Don't get me started on beans...."
/5 points
("Starbucks incinerates their beans")
I've heard people call it "Charbucks."
From reading about it on the linked site...
... the Barista is perfectly within his rights to refuse to serve an iced espresso. If they don't serve it, they don't serve it. I wouldn't yell at them for not serving elephant sandwiches, either.
However, yelling at the guy for making it himself? That does seem to be crossing the "bad service" line. Once you've sold the coffee, what he does with it is his business.
#18, you are mistaken. arlington is in northern virginia. this is completely different from 'virginia'. murky is 3 miles or so from the dc border, and is one of the most liberal-leaning places in america. i believe around 80 percent of us voted against bush last election. also, one of our county commissioners is openly gay.
please criticize virginia as a whole, but don't talk down arlington for being conservative until you've at least visited or read a little about us.
also murky coffee is fucking awesome. the baristas in general are super-nice. i am curious as to who was the specific barista who refused this.
its seriously one of the best coffee shops in america and the baristas are top notch. they have the trophies to prove it.
This reminds me of "Five Easy Pieces" with Jack Nicholson trying to order whole wheat toast at a diner:
Bobby: Wait a minute, I have made up my mind. I'd like a plain omelet, no potatoes on the plate. A cup of coffee and a side order of wheat toast.
Waitress: I'm sorry, we don't have any side orders of toast. I'll give you an English muffin or a coffee roll.
Bobby: What do you mean "you don't make side orders of toast"? You make sandwiches, don't you?
Waitress: Would you like to talk to the manager?
Bobby: You've got bread. And a toaster of some kind?
Waitress: I don't make the rules.
Bobby: OK, I'll make it as easy for you as I can. I'd like an omelet, plain, and a chicken salad sandwich on wheat toast, no mayonnaise, no butter, no lettuce. And a cup of coffee.
Waitress: A number two, chicken sal san. Hold the butter, the lettuce, the mayonnaise, and a cup of coffee. Anything else?
Bobby: Yeah, now all you have to do is hold the chicken, bring me the toast, give me a check for the chicken salad sandwich, and you haven't broken any rules.
Waitress(sarcastically): You want me to hold the chicken, huh?
Bobby: I want you to hold it between your knees.
The Coffee Girl above has the very best read on what a barista is, and probably got lots of tips when she was one.
~~~~
also: @ ANTINOUS #26:
I like water.
>EvilJim@31 :"Five points."
you forgot the two-point conversion
oh also, i failed to mention that this sort of policy exists at a lot of places.
its usually instituted in order to prevent people from making a 'ghetto latte'.
you see people do this on occasion:
price of latte: 3.00
price of espresso: 1.50
take espresso, pour over ice, dump in a cup or two of milk thats provided for people to add a few tablespoons at a time to their drip coffee. save 1.50 at the expense of the coffee shop.
Hilarious. My wife went to Chez Panisse, the famous French joint in Berkeley, CA, run by uber-chef Alice Waters. Ranks high with critics and carries a lot of stars. Anyway, at the time they served their bread on the table, just threw a loaf down. My wife asks for a bread plate, so she doesn't get so much crumbs all over the place. The waitress says, "Alice Waters is in the restaurant tonight. If she looks on your table and sees a bread plate, I'd have to explain to her that you asked for one." Then the waitress sort of nodded like "you understand" and walked away. I will never eat at Chez Pannisse.
Yes, Starbux burns their beans. Never did see how it's gotten so popular. $4 for burnt beans and water? Didn't ride the AOL rocket to riches either though, so what do I know. Maybe insulting/refusing customers is the new key to success?
"The customer is always right" brings us by a commodius vicus of recirculation back to WalMart, Starbucks and environs.
Imagine, a worker taking pride in one's creation. THE FIEND.
@Mark
A lot of people call it Charbucks... Something that Dunkin' and Starbucks have in common is that they both sell awful coffee. However Starbucks also sometimes sells good coffee depending on what they're brewing that day. Some of their roasts taste like an ash-tray and some of them don't. Usually people who bitch about how burnt the coffee is at Starbucks are really expressing their displeasure with the general culture of the place. The rest of them just don't know what they're ordering.
Incidentally, I find the new "Pike's Place roast" that they have every day at Starbucks lately to be revolting.
l'esprit d'escalier...
Man, just inject the freaking coffeine in your veins and stop ranting with poor other-people-tasting-experience-concerned baristas...
I like my needles cold, by the way.
As a coffee geek and espresso art competitor I love to see people (baristas especially) fight the good fight against crap coffee in this country. Every consumer who demands great (not necessarily expensive) coffee means higher standards all around. Still, it's clear that this barista doesn't care much about customer retention, and the bottom line is that if Simmermon wants to put crazy shit in his mouth then he has every right to do so.
"You can NOT get to heaven unless you drink the espresso in the correct manner!"
Considering that the customer has had this drink many times before, I think he KNOWS what it's going to taste like, more or less. The barista and other snobs will consider it ruined, but not the man who ordered it. Everyone has their inane laws about the "proper way to cook a steak" or "the only way to make real BBQ" but these rules are stupid; when I first saw pad thai I thought "that's WRONG, you can't put crushed peanuts on top of pasta!!" Of course now I love pad thai.
@45:
A large (Venti) coffee at the closest Starbucks to my house is $1.79. A large coffee at Dunkin' Donuts across the street is $2.39.
Being smart in business is getting somebody to buy expensive coffee... But it takes Genius(tm) to get somebody to pay even more while convincing them they're paying less.
@ #25
Rad.
Thank you for outdoing the snobbery with *well-informed* snobbery.
Can I try one of your espresso shots sometime?
Sometimes I don't want an elaborate tasting experience...sometimes I just want coffee.
Apparently there is something wrong with that.
@2 After you order be sure to pull out some flavored non-dairy creamer and pour it right in there.
The whole DD v. SBX thing is simple.
DD is a bakery chain that roasts to a light french roast and sells crappy cheap pastrys, SBX is a coffee chain that roasts to a dark italian roast and sells crappy overpriced snacks.
this is the same as the pilsner v. ale discussion.
There is no accounting for taste.
psssttt don't tell anyone, but I drink instant espresso... cos I can't be jiggered anymore to fuss around with my espresso machine firing through ten or so shots until it is set up when all I want is an espresso...
In other news, according to the article, three shots of espresso only lasts this guy an hour. Then he has to order four more.
He should probably just go ahead and move up the scale to black-market Provigil, or something.
There's definitely merit in the place's devotion to, y'know, the coffee experience, but given that a majority of customers probably just want a fix, it would've been best to explain the possible downside to the guy's request, and then just serve him what he wanted.
But jeez, a triple espresso followed by an Americano with four shots? No wonder he's edgy.
Also, is it just me, or did Charbucks become less charred after they closed all the shops to retrain the baristas? Probably just in my head (their subtle publicity stunt worked!).
I'm glad I'm not a coffee snob-- as long as it's not burnt and has a certain modicum of flavor I'm more-or-less satisfied. I can go to a Dunkin Donuts or a Starbucks or a truck stop diner and get something that fills my needs. Sure, a real good cup from a dedicated beanery is nice once in a while, but if I get hooked on "the good stuff" I'm just hobbling myself.
I love fighting with people on the internet
1- Keep in mind folks, we're reading blogs about people who had a bad experience - not an article that was fact checked. Do you *really* think a well respected coffee shop is going to go antagonistic on its customers? Sure - the customer felt 'wronged' but I highly doubt the barista was being anything but cordial and explaining their policy. Even blogs & blog comments around the net are coming in from people who claim to have overheard the situation and said the customer was being a douche and escalating the situation.
Call me jaded, but i think the conversation probably went like this:
Customer: I'd like an espresso over ice.
Barista: I'm sorry, we don't serve that here. We believe it compromises quality.... explanation
Customer: Ok. Thats Fine.
Customer returns to seat, decides to blog about an evil fanged barista who refused service, punched him in the face, then made jokes about his mom until he cried.
2- @anonymous #25 -- i seriously question what you call 'good' coffee. i've never had espresso that was even slightly passable out of a 'cheap little machine'. I've been into espresso for 7 years; in my kitchen I have a commercial machine and grinder, plus a heavily modified high-end prosumer machine hacked and re-designed for temperature stability and water pressure. between beans and machines, every shot that i've pulled in the past few years has floored what I could get at all but a few shops.
am i coffee snob? sure. but good coffee is one of those little things that makes life worth living. having a starbucks espresso on ice might be a good idea; pulling a good shot over ice is like making sangria with a $300 bottle of wine -- you just don't do it.
i'm going to go look at http://espressoporn.com now
@ #59 - the difference is that no wine shop I know would deny to sell you a bottle of $300 wine just because you plan to make sangria with it.
The funny thing on Boing Boing and on the link andiamnotlying is how people claim that ice ruins the flavor bla bla bla. What BS! For you. People have different taste buds, what ruins the flavor for you is perfectly fine for someone else. My dad doesn't have any taste buds and thinks water is water. I've very sensitive and weird taste buds and frequently claim water tastes like something and no one can tell and am picky in what container water is served. They taste different to me! There's one water that tastes of carrots to me and no one seems to notice -(It's a Spansish water so you wouldn't know, it's called Bezoya). Temperature changes flavors for me, I don't like most things hot, totally different flavors so I would probably PREFER the espresso on ice.
I do detest coffee, and can only tolerate it with lots of other things like vanilla, hazelnut syrup to disguise the coffee. It's not the beans, I just cannot tolerate the taste of coffee, though I love how it smells. Now chocolate is disgusting for me UGH.
Hmmm... I have had GOOD iced espresso. It is possible. I am also aware when I order it that I may receive BAD iced espresso and have to add copious amounts of half-and-half to drink the stuff. Refuse to sell me iced espresso if you want, but shut the hell up about it.
jonathan_v writes:
Doubt away, but that mainly makes me think you haven't been to a sufficiently snobby coffee shop. I don't even really drink coffee, and know a couple of places in San Francisco where I could easily see this level of attitude happening.
Years ago in Chicago, the Duke of Perth's bartender wouldn't put a good single malt scotch over ice, at least not at first request. However, je would happily make you a scotch and soda or a scotch on the rocks, using some low-grade blended scotch for that. Or anything else you can order at a typical bar.
Even the espresso-on-ice thing really matters like it does with scotch (and I'm still skeptical) then I'd say that Murky's is still acting foolishly. If their espresso is so damn precious that they just can't adulterate it, then they should find some other way to satisfy a reasonable customer request.
Jonathan V, you are correct!! As a barista, I follow a strict procedure with the timing, tamping, and over all pull of every shot of espresso to guarantee the quality of each drink I prepare... so I do find it quite irritating to be asked to deliberately shock a shot; however if that is their desire I will politely oblige... but I do undergo a certain degree of pain to try to combat the sharp temperature change that causes the shock... Pulling into cool but not freezing water/cream/what have you, can sort of alleviate the effect to a minor degree...
#59 posted by jonathan_v , July 14
I love fighting with people on the internet
Me too. :)
#54 posted by mdhatter
SBX is a coffee chain that roasts to a dark italian roast and sells crappy overpriced snacks.
this is the same as the pilsner v. ale discussion.
There is no accounting for taste. Same to you! Starbucks coffee tastes like WEAK, BURNED beans, as if they've been annihilated like the vitamins that drain out when you boil green vegetables. This is *not* "Pilsner vs. Ale" -- those two things are prepared and brewed differently. Starbucks beans taste, objectively, terrible. Order a bag of your choosing from CC's and tell me again that Starbucks is "just different."
I don't normally drink coffee because I can't comprehend why anyone finds the taste appealing. Now I have another reason to not bother.
And this is where I come in and say "If people were as concerned about their government as they were about their coffee, we might not be having the problems we're having with this administration".
Short version of what I posted in the source blog: Go to Java Shack up the street. The owner, Dale, is almost always around and is about as awesome a combination of non-elitist yet knowledgable as you can get.
#65 - whatever. I never stated if I had a preference.
As you seem to prefer DD, i think I'll go to SBX.
they have good pie.
The best cold caffeine delivery system in the world is affogato; a scoop of vanilla gelato with a shot of espresso poured over. It's Italian, and no one seems to mind if the espresso is shocked when they are enjoying it.
how can anyone say they "drink water" when there is only one correct water to drink and so many frauds?
Just to be clear, I shall never understand people who are willing to pay that much for coffee....
That said, I can't help but mock the concept of the "integrity of the coffee".
Does it cost extra for the impudent berating of your coffee preference?
I feel the barista should have just swallowed his pride on this. Moral stances on coffee? Not a smart business policy to deny sales because the customer doesn't want his coffee "the right way." Couldn't the reason for not icing an espresso be explained to educate the customer and if he still wanted it, who the hell are you to deny him?
I can't believe I just wrote a little rant about buying a stupid cup of coffee.
Okay, as a fellow barista (10+ years on and off now, trained by Italians out of high school along with the "One day, son you'll go to the Barista National Championship dog and pony show" local coffee snob place) I have to throw my 2cents in here.
I take an alongé-- double long, run through, preferably twice. In a trad cappucino cup, about 3/4. No, I don't want hot water(americano's suck)- just let it roll.
And no, I don't want a lecture either.
Still, God help you if you ask for that at some coffee snob places- basically, you over-extract the shot if you let it roll beyond the religiously-sacrosanct 22- 30 seconds and yes, I understand that certain blends/grinds are tailored for certain machines, calibration, yadda yadda yadda etc etc etc-
But...thats how I make 'em for myself at work, so thats how I like to drink 'em.
Work is where I pull proper ristretto shots for grouchy old Italian longshoremen (Remember that scene in the Soprano's where they're in a Starbucks-ish franchise coffee bar? Yup. Those guys) who know espresso better than some college kid who drank the company kool-aid and bases their identity on their day job.
Anyways- I've dealt with the same crap in the article from snide little pricks behind the counter and what I hate more than having to play the "well, this is what I asked for and what I am paying for" card is getting into the stupid Barista Pissing Match: Fellow coffee-chumps, you know what I mean: you mention you do the same job and out comes the aggro nerd behaviour. Of course this isn't specific to coffee- doesn't matter if it's talking sports stats, record collectors or Trekkies or /b/-tards, its all the same.
Anyways--I don't want a lecture about how I want my coffee done. Nor do I want to talk shop. Good coffee is hard enough to find (even here in Vancouver)and really, I just want my goddamn fix without you screwing it up.
So, yeah- you with the horn-rims at JJ Bean- Newsflash: It's a wage slave coffee job. YOU.ARE.NOT.DOING.GOD'S.WORK.
Also: 33. +5 points. Starbucks is garbage.
Just to be clear, I shall never understand people who are willing to pay that much for coffee....
How about superbowl tickets? or gold and diamonds? or guns? or art? or sex? or salvation?
Holy....man, you guys take this stuff seriously. Like stabby seriously. I'm glad my palette isn't so discerning. I crank out a double of Goya-cheap-ass-espresso-in-a-bag from my almost never cleaned, eight year old Franci at 6am every morning. And for about 10 minutes that tiny little cup is at the center of the universe.
I don't frequent coffee houses except when I'm on vacation or travel for work. It's actually pretty cool to see folks that go to such lengths to produce a good cup of coffee.
Maxwell House with a little bit of honey in it. It was good enough for Teddy R., it's good enough for me.
Baristas are often reluctant to sell shots over ice for the reason given in comment #42 -- many customers order a shot over ice in order to make a "ghetto latte" at the condiment bar and save $2-$3 over buying an iced latte. Why is this bad, you ask? Because the condiment bar is for drip coffee drinkers and drip coffee is a loss leader. In other words, cafe owners are already losing money by offering free condiments and cannot afford to give away even more free stuff to espresso drinkers. If you do the math on how much a quality espresso drink costs, you'll find that the margins are actually very tight.
At my cafe, we make shots over ice, but we do so only in small cups that make it impossible to add huge amounts of expensive cream. That way, the cafe doesn't get ripped off and customers who truly enjoy iced espresso (with maybe a little cream) can have their drink.
@60:
the difference here is that, sure, a wine seller would not balk at selling you a $300 bottle of wine that you could take home and make into sangria... it's another thing altogether to ask them to pop the cork on it at the counter and make it into sangria themselves.
Like my espresso beans cut in fine 10cm lines. Then snorted off the arse a stripper.
Yup the same thing happened to me at Starbucks. I asked for an iced Cafe au Lait and they refused to make it saying it was against California Health Codes to give me a drink with steamed milk over ice.
This all sounded suspect to me considering that all the other cafes I frequent including Peets and the Beanery and a handful of other mom&pop cafes in San Francisco make it just fine.
They still refused.
So I ordered a coffee with steamed milk, and yes, a glass of ice.
The problem with these types of coffee places is that educating the customer as to why that's a bad idea is good idea. And the people who work there and might do that won't because apparently you're supposed to already be some kind of insider just to be there.
A little like this really:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zVEHqwLVvpI
The entitled American consumer versus the over-educated wage slave!
Sell this on pay-per-view and I'd be... uh, bored.
@79 - Right, because serving wine (or making sangria) for you isn't what wine shops do. Making coffee for you IS what coffee shops do. Or at least, what they're supposed to do.
Anyway, where does this "shocking" thing come from? It sounds a lot like unreliable word-of-mouth wisdom. Of course, I'm pretty cynical about calling the cashiers and drink-makers at coffee shops "baristas" too, so I'm not inclined to think they really have the inside line on perfectly prepared coffee.
Forget the coffee. I want to know more about the flecks of corn. This guy sees corn when he's angry?
Maybe he likes his coffee "shocked". Who the hell are these baristas to tell him what he likes?
Not everyone has the same taste, and just because you consider yours to be more "refined" doesn't make it so.
If it's no extra work for the person behind the counter, and isn't breaching any OH&S laws, what's the issue?
Just because you work in a premier indy coffee shop doesn't mean you get to tell people how they like their coffee. You're labouring under some High Fidelity-esque illusions people.
If you work in a SHOP, and you SELL things to people, you're in retail. Not art. Not public service... retail. Kinda like the kids who work at K-mart. Get over yourself.
I think I agree with the coffee shop here.
Why? Because sometimes the customer is an idiot. Icing an espresso seems like an idea with no possible good outcome to me. And there's something to be said for doing things properly. Margaritas don't come in any other flavours but "margarita" Martinis have 2 possible recipes- one with vodka and the other with gin. period. Hefeweizen should NEVER be served with an orange of lemon slice. Spaghetti doesn't involve ketchup, and so forth.
If they're known for having the top stuff, then the opinion of someone like this won't chase away their normal clientel.
If I ask you for a venti espresso with a shot of piss, please urinate in it, give it to me, and tell me to have a nice day.
anything less is 'not cool'.
I used to work at a place that was legendary for its coffee. We used stellar beans, great water, and stainless steel US Navy vacuum pots for every single cup of joe. And we made abominations under the eyes of the Pure Coffee Gods.
Two heathen drinks that sold like sno-cones at Burning Man:
Iced Viennese Espresso -- Espresso brewed into mason jars, lidded and chilled. The chilled coffee juice was combined in a steel Hamilton Beach commercial milkshake cup, beaten with the wand, ice, and raw sugar. A float of heavy whipping cream.
Godzilla -- same chilled espresso, frozen espresso cubes from a tray, heavy whipping cream, chocolate, sugar, and a Vitamix blender.
It's okay to be aware of purity and high ideals, but be sincere about your joy and love of coffee, not so serious. Have a laugh in the church of the bean.
Boy, these coffee places have some really effective training videos.
Maybe Murky Coffee should implement some kind of genetic / experiential test to see whether the customer has the proper "pure" physiological and psychological make-up to really taste the difference between a good cup of coffee and a bad one.
After all, if the customer isn't genetically superior in sensibility the experience of drinking the perfect cup of espresso will not obtain.
After the customer has passed a test, they can be implanted with a special scanable RFID microchip that will identify them as worthy of drinking only the best coffee at special retail establishments around the globe.
Yearly re-testing will be required to prevent customers, who have had some kind of disease or head-trauma which impedes their ability to taste the subtleties of the coffee, from further participation in the program. If they fail, the microchip can be dug out of their arm.
This program should prevent tasteless genetic degenerates like Jeff Simmermon from even getting close to refined baristas in places like Murky Coffee.
The owner of Murky Coffee has posted an "open letter" to Jeff Simmermon at http://www.murkycoffee.com/
He writes:
Dear Jeff Simmermon,
So as you've seen, there's a little blog-thing going around today on BoingBoing and Metafilter about some sort of incident at the shop this past weekend.
I suppose some sort of two-cents is warranted here.
Okay, we don't do espresso over ice. Why? Number one, because we don't do it. Number two, because we don't do it. Mostly for quality reasons. Also, because more than half the time, it's abused (Google "ghetto latte").
We have some policies at murky coffee. No sleeping in the shop. If you're asleep, you'll be tapped on the shoulder and asked not to sleep in the shop. We've had to ban a customer because of his chronic napping.
No modifications to the Classic Cappuccino. No questions will be answered about the $5 Hot Chocolate (during the months we offer it). No espresso in a to-go cup. No espresso over ice. These are our policies. We have our reasons, and we're happy to share them.
To others reading this I will say that if you don't like the policies, I respectfully recommend that you find some other place that will give you what you want, or select something that we can offer you. David, the barista in question, is respectful, passionate, and cares about making good coffee, and he cares about murky's policies. Nobody's perfect, and maybe David could have chosen different words or a slightly different tact in responding to Jeff Simmermon's request. But that's life. At murky, we try to treat people with common courtesy, and expect the same from our customers. Not in response or in turn, but because that's how people are supposed to treat each other. We're not supposed to go through life looking for reasons to get pissed off. Life's too short for that sort of thing.
To Mr. Simmermon, you overplayed your hand with your vulgar tip-schtick. While I certainly won't bemoan you your right to free-speech, I have to respond to you in your own dialect: Fuck you, Jeff Simmermon. Considering your public threat of arson, you'll understand when I say that if you ever show your face at my shop, I'll punch you in your dick.
Respectfully,
Nick
Owner, murky coffee
IMHO, this response is a bit over the top and over the line. One would assume that a small business owner would be a bit more professional than threatening to cockpunch a critic.
Um. Ice is cold.
initially, i was on the customer's side of the fence. it’s his coffee, if he wants it with vinegar and jalapenos, be my guest.
then i remembered that this is in AMERICA … where people get to sue McDonalds because the coffee was too hot. the barista needed to cover his bases to make sure that some random customer won’t complain that his iced expresso didn’t taste any good.
if the barista was rude or condescending, then i would concede that he had every right to rant. unfortunately, it’s a case of he-said, she-said and without an impartial witness, i don’t care to judge.
but if anyone here harbors the illusion that the customer is always right, i’d have to direct your attention to this catastrophe:
http://www.chemsetcomics.com/2008/04/15/how-i-lost-my-s-at-the-apple-store-page-one/
- chudez
Wow. What a pompous shit. Excuse me sir, as a paying customer, it sure as hell doesn't matter whether or not *you* like what I order. You're not the one consuming it.
I'm sure minimum wage fast-food employees don't balk at dishing out the tripe they serve on a daily basis. I've never heard one of those saucy gits say, "that double quarter pounder with cheese... we just don't serve that with bacon. It's bad, and it'll kill you."
Then again, I don't eat a whole lot of fast-food...
But I can't stand arrogant coffee snobs. Drunk with triple-filtered, espresso roast, 100% organic, French-pressed, caffeinated, freshly-ground Sumatran bean juices, they have gone absolutely mad.
Yes, I feel customers are entitled to get what they ask for, without the attitude. Why is that such a foreign concept? The customer may not always be right, but this wasn't a ridiculous or outrageous request.
hey, he don't want the business, he don't want the business. He's not discriminating by race,gender etc. But I will never go there.
$5 hot chocolate? Nope.
Buy another bev after being pissed on the first time? No fucking way!
I know it makes me a bad person, but I have two rules with regards to this situation:
1) Noone gets to tell me what I do or should like.
2) Noone who's "career" involves having their name on their shirt and who doesn't earn enough in an hour to buy a good bottle of wine gets to tell me I'm wrong.
Hell...if I want catchup in my coffee, give it to me. I