The aptly-named Bálla Powder is "scented scrotum talc for men." It's $15 via Amazon. From the product description:
Blla Powder for Men is the ideal anti-chafing and anti-wetness solution for clammy sacks. Guaranteed to prevent the dreaded "bat wing" syndrome, Balla Powder for Men is lightly scented with a masculine fragrance, for anyone else who plans to work in your close quarters. Can be sprinkled into your fudgies for all-day-long comfort and dryness. A fabulous post-workout treatment, Balla Powder for Men can also be used between your cheeks, as well as on fetid feet and aromatic armpits.
Bálla Powder for men's balls (Amazon)
the latest
latest episodes
What exactly is "bat wing"?
what kind of applicator?
Two words: GOLD BOND.
fudgies? :P
Impostor! Gold Bond forever!
"it's like a 1,000 little gnomes with icy hands massaging your boys."
http://forums.nasioc.com/forums/showthread.php?s=1ae7320dadd864d63ba81faad74992f1&t=375921
What exactly is "bat wing"?
Scrotum-leg adherence syndrome.
Don't forget to check out the "tingle formula" variation. I hear it tingles.
And all I can think of is Jean Naté dusting powder so that your nuts smell like someone's grandma.
Total ripoff. Corn starch is infinitely better than talc. Corn starch is less than a buck a box and a box will last you many months.
I ride a bicycle 20+ miles every day and I can testify that corn starch is all you need.
And my balls already have a "masculine fragrance" thank you very much. Don't give these guys your hard-earned money, bunch of ball-washing bastards...
Corn Starch > Gold bond
but minus the tingly sensation of Gold Bond.
what? you mean yours aren't retractable?
This review was quite amusing:
http://www.amazon.com/review/R2LYZQFWMIQF9V
I am laughing at the link #5 posted.
32 pages of men discussing powdering their stuff.
Wow. :p
I use the old Johnson&Johnson baby powder.
Oh, yeah. You're gambling with your stocking stuffers. From Wikipedia:
You think Batman has to worry about "bat wing?"
Here's the one for me.
I'd call this product Balzac. This would have been more clever.
They've got some balls.
'Schweaty Balls' (tm) - a wonderful Christmas treat!
@16
I think it depends on which Batman you're talking about. Adam West's batsuit looked like it had a little *ahem* breathing room. On the other hand, I get sympathetic batwing syndrome just thinking about the rubber tights that Hollywood has put on the Batman.
"Holy clammy sacks, Batman!"
#9 - Given the earlier BoingBoing entry on cornstarch and water dancing on a subwoofer, your suggestion gave me the sudden chilling image of tentacled non-Newtonian liquids writhing around in my undies...
chocolate salty balls?
# 1 cup flour
# 1 tsp paprika
# 1 tsp cayenne pepper
I don't have these problems. I carry mine slung over my shoulder.
That is one of the worst, yet hilarious, product descriptions I've ever read. It's so bad it is good.
CORN STARCH! You will thank me later.
Scrotum Talc might be a little too metrosexual for my family, but for his birthday this year I did send my brother Anti Monkey-Butt Powder. http://www.antimonkeybutt.com/
"I've used Cornstarch on my balls for years!" states noted author and theocologist, Ken Kesey. "Y' know how it is when you're swarthy anyway and maybe nervous like on a long freeway drive or say you're in court where you can't unzip to air things out, and your clammy old nuts stick to your legs? Well, a little handful of plain old cornstarch in the morning will keep things dry and sliding the whole hot day long. Works better than talcum and you don't smell like a nursery. Also good for underarms, feet, pulling on neopreme wet suits and soothing babies' bottoms. And it's biodegradable."
From The Last Supplement to the Whole Earth Catalog later reprinted in Kesey's Garage Sale
okay. so i'm willing to give this corn starch a try, but i do love the tingling sensation of gold bond which seems to work well on its own. has anyone tried a mixture of the two?
Talc products have been preliminarily linked to some cancers:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Talc
CORN STARCH!
(it feels better too)
People - read it again. "For men". They had to say, "for men" - WTF is happening to society?!
ah you primates! always good for an anatomical laugh!
I'm sorry if I'm coming across like a bit of a zealot here. I happen to feel passionately about this subject.
If you really want the tingly sensation, menthol is the ingredient in Gold Bond (Gold Bond is talc-based, by the way) that does it. I know a co-worker of mine has a supplier for menthol crystals (Great for clearing your sinuses, add some boiling water and inhale) Maybe powder is available?
wait, wait, let me guess: your kind also has similar fantastically unlikely concoctions for the hypertrophied, modified sweat-glands of the brood-keeper partner?
And then there's Bag Balm.
It's not just for udders!
Aside from the fragrance part, this sounds nice.
@#28 -- Thank you for the Ken Kesey reference. That sprang to mind, un-requested, the instant I read the boosts for Corn Starch. The photo that went with it was hilarious. Wonder if that could still be found anywhere?
Tell me I'm not the only one who misread that as "scrotum scented talc for men."
This corn thread is going to further drive up the cost of food, and corn starch will soon cost more than cocaine.
This is the only thing I use on my balls.
http://www.poolcuesource.com/chalk.htm
Yes, corn starched junk ftw. Once you go non-Newtonian, you never go back.
After following that link to the Amazon review... has anyone else noticed that the Amazon logo consists mainly of a cartoon representation of an erect male organ? No balls though.
Yeah, but with Peyronie's disease.
I did a bit of research after seeing Hank Azaria in Run Fat Boy Run a few months ago:
According to their site:
"Balla Powder for Men contains Non-Asbestiform Talc that DOES NOT contain carcinogenic asbestos fibers. FDA considers non-asbestiform talc to be Generally Recognized As Safe (GRAS) for use in cosmetics."
http://www.ballapowder.com/aboutpowder.htm
Funny Interview with the company's founder
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lsAB4ej9bd4
NEVER ... EVER use MEDICATED Gold Bond.
I speak with experience.
One day after a long bike ride to a friends house, I walked into his bathroom and was like "oh boy, Gold Bond"
BLUE/Green GOLD BOND = BAD no touchy
I had to jump in the friends shower and couldn't get rid of the burning sensational balls for a few hours.
I'm gonna try the corn starch.
Finally!
Add a little cocoa powder and powdered sugar for flavor.
I'm waiting for the TV commercial with Sir Mix-a-Lot singing Baby Got Sack.
Just let it fly free, man. Nothin' like the great outdoors to keep the "area" dry.
It's good for you and it gets you noticed on the bus. Later, by the police. After that, the judge. In my own life journey, I haven't reached whatever comes next. I assume it has something to do with them letting me go.
Cornstarch + sweat (water) + low frequency vibrations = weird stuff...you saw it earlier.
are you sure you want to put that on there?
Good lord in heaven, I hope it's not really talcum powder. I remember making the mistake of using that stuff for that purpose when I was a kid and decades later it still makes me cringe to remember the caustic results.
Is this a problem that guys experience in high-humidity climates? I live in the high desert and haven't ever had the inclination to powder myself... Although I've done contract work in Houston, and I can remember some rough spots.
I don't know from testicles, but on hot humid days, there are certain areas of the female anatomy situated at, uh, higher latitudes, that can become heat & moisture traps.
One desperate day, whilst visiting a climate more tropical than the one to which I am accustomed, I tried some of this:
http://www.earththerapeutics.net/prodinfo.asp?number=9665
Goes on wet. Cools beautifully. It is meant for feet, but it works under, um, well, whatever.
It might just work on testicles too...
#26: what, like when I've made muffins? Delicious mushroomy muffins. Mmm.
You don't know raw until you've walked around Paris for three full days in the summer; refusing to take a cab to save money. Stupid, stupid, stupid.
ooh, this would be great after shaving my balls and then in between my ass cheeks.
This is old news. From December 2005:
http://www.tranism.com/weblog/archives/2005/12/scheaty_balls.html
"Fore" is coming not for golf but
a deodorant for intact men.
I'm surprised nobody has mentioned the Shammy Butter! Some cyclist swear by butt lube in their bike shorts for saddle sore prevention. I have yet to try the stuff, but having done some distance cycling, I'm seriously tempted.
I have an honest question for the guys who use corn starch.
If you put it on in the morning, then find yourself doing some strenuous work or exercise all day long, don't you end up with a sort of paste or film on your skin? It seems like this film would lead to some other skin problems. Or am I overestimating the risk here?
I ask because I use Gold Bond, but if the corn starch works as well as you say it does, then I might have to try it.
http://www.google.com/search?q="people's+pharmacy"+crotch+itch
#37 The Kesey reference was why I started using corn starch in the first place! When I first read it, I thought it was a joke, but after trying it the first time, I was a convert. Now, obviously, I am an evangelist.
I may still have my copy of Kesey's Garage Sale around some place (although I expect it may be lost forever.) If I find it, I'll scan and post back here.
#59 It's not really an issuer, certainly no more so than the Gold Bond. Because of the fineness of the powder, you're not going to get enough accumulating in one place to form any "paste" to speak of. Maybe in small quantities in yer nooks and crannies, but in all the years I've been using corn starch, it's never been an issue.
#44 While I think it's commendable that the Balla Powder folks are not selling you asbestos to rub on your boys, according to the Wikipedia reference in #15 above:
Why risk it? And why pay such a ridiculous amount? Corn starch is BETTER and PRACTICALLY FREE! And why scented for Onan's sake?!?! If someone's gonna be Hoovering on your sack, aren't you gonna wanna wash him off first anyway? It's just common courtesy...
You don't know how happy I am that this thread is going on here on boingboing. Corn starch and neti pots are the two personal hygeine things that I'm completely fanatical about recommending to people. Oh god, don't get me started on neti pots...
Do a price comparison:
http://www.amazon.com/Barry-Farm-Corn-Starch-lb/dp/B00015UC05C
12.4 cents per ounce
vs.
http://www.amazon.com/Balla-Powder-Scented-Scrotum-3-5oz/dp/B000EMDCLS
$4.29 per ounce
COME ON!!!
tell us about nasal hygiene
@ Pahool
Well, you certainly seem emphatic enough about it, so I'll give it a go tomorrow morning. As long as I don't end up with cornbread or something frighteningly similar to yellowcake, I'll make the switch.
Whatever you do, don't use rubbing alcohol.
This thread is awesome (and I'm a girl!).
Corn starch good. Talc not so much.
The ladies' comments are very true, I can attest.
The things you learn every day. I never knew sweaty balls were such an issue, comes of not having a pair, thanks for the amusement.
When the market has you beat,
And you are suffering from the heat,
Don't declare defeat,
Rub some Balla on your meat!
Oh brave new world that has scented scrotum talc in
it.
I must be lucky. Never had bat wing syndrome.
Showering once or twice a day seems to work
pretty well.
I wonder what kind of chemicals from the fragrance
you would absorb through the very thin skin down
there.
I wonder whether the promoters are aware that in South Africa the Afrikaans word testicles is 'ballas'?
#64 Yay! Remember corn starch not corn meal.
If anyone ever asks what the phrase "too much information" means, just point them at the comment thread here.
(Incidentally, Lyzard at #45 speaks wisely regarding the medicated version of Gold Bond. Only use it on sensitive areas for Talk Like A Pirate Day: "ARR-R-R-R-R...!!!" Don't ask me how I know this.)
Reminds me of a book that I read about this dude's travels in the Amazon; he'd dust down his frank and beans with antifungal powder every day, and described the results as resembling "meat chunks rolled in flour".
How can you tell if someone is ticklish or not?
Give 'em a test-tickle!
...
And it's taken how long for men to realize the benefits of powdering oneself? Then again, I guess it's a miracle guys ever learned to bathe regularly. :p
Bathe?
define regularily
I like how "ball powder" is the most commented post today!
You people are sick!
/I love it!
:D
@ #62,
Barry Farms is just great!
Since we were in the "area": Sphincterine.
"Whatever you do, don't use rubbing alcohol."
I pulled a thigh muscle when I was a teenager, so I got the rubbing alcohol and sat on the toilet in order to massage my upper leg, and some trickled and
JESUS H. CHRIST!!!
careful there Choclately, before you know it someone will bring up the ginger beer trick
So I had to google neti pot... and came up with this:
Funny, but still TMI.
Yeesh. Nasal lavage doesn't seem - right.
no need to waste money, just need a`friend with a mouthful of saline
posted by Four Naught Four:
I don't know, but I did think that it was odd they're making it from testicles now.I should have something to add to this but.. but... but...
Ken Kesey, who famously posed for a photo while dusting his nuts, was a highly-rated PAC-10 wrestler at U. of Oregon. Because of the confining tights wrestlers wear, the sweat-combatting properties of corn starch was appreciated for at least a hundred years. I don't know what the guys use today, but the stuff really works.
Reading this comment thread and the ones listed have given me a case of laughter-induced hiccoughs.
I am shocked and appalled. 90 comments and I am the first to suggest freeing the poor boys by wearing a kilt? A utilikilt works great, has ample pockets, and chicks dig a man in the kilt.
Trousers cramp your balls and make them sweat... instead of noticing the obvious problem, that pants cause sweating, irritated, unhappy, chaffed testicles, you all go further mistreating the boys by throwing on GMO corn products or a powdered rock that studies have suggested might cause cancer??!!??
Down with Pants!
Up with Kilts!
only if they pass a law requiring kilt wearers to stay off ladders at all times.
I am totally pro-kilt though I personally prefer a light and airy sarong (feels sa-right!)
Even in a kilt, I'm sticking with the corn starch. Or rather not sticking with the corn starch...or something. I'll still use the corn starch is what I'm saying. The kilt will make it a lot easier to apply though. I'd imagine you could still get bat wings from sitting in a kilt for a long period of time. Hell, I use corn starch even when I'm gonna be nekkid.
As for the GMO argument, non-GMO, organic corn starch is available as well:
http://www.shoporganic.com/product/rapunzel_corn_starch_gmo_free/
And for those who have been checking out neti pots, DO IT! I've given them as gifts to over a dozen people and only two of them don't use their pot on a regular basis. The small ceramic ones are kind of cruddy cuz they don't hold enough water. Go with the big stainless steel pots like these:
http://www.healthandyoga.com/html/product/neti.html
which are, incidentally, the best prices I've found and they give you a bulk discount. If anyone finds the stainless steel pots cheaper, I'd love to know, because I always keep these on hand for gifts.
You use a neti pot to stop your nuts from sticking to your leg? Now that's a technique that I in no way want to practice.
Yeah, maybe I should've split that into two comments...
A few years ago I asked a lady friend of mine if she thought I should shave my balls. She responded: "Only if your want the ladies to suckle on them."
After shaving I realized that my ballies smelled a little different... and slightly unpleasent.
I sought out a cure for this new ailment and found Kama Sutra's Honey Dust.
http://www.kamasutra.com/products.php?cat_id=35
Now when you get real close to my balls they smell and taste like Tangerines & Cream.
Ingredients: Corn Starch Modified, Glucose, Zea Mays (Corn) Starch, Honey(Mel/Miel), Flavor (Aroma), Sodium Saccharin, Citrus medica Limonum (Lemon) Peel Oil, Sodium Benzoate, Silica, Citral, Geraniol, Limonene, Linalool.
AND THEY STAY DRY!
Whatever happened to guys who smell like guys? Tangerines & Cream doesn't have the same appeal as crack sweat and axle grease.
heh heh heh!:
"fine, silky-smooth, kissable body powders. Each comes with a satin pouch and a handmade feather applicator"
strictly speaking, the best olfactory display of urine-borne androstenes is accomplished by voiding on fresh turf and throughly rolling in it.
Okay, so I'll go out and get some of that soothing cornmeal now. You did say cornmeal, right?
I can't agree with corn starch - breaded balls frying on a hot day?
How about using a sock?
starflyer58 "After shaving I realized that my ballies smelled a little different... and slightly unpleasent."
Three words: rainbow clown wig. It's fun (after hours) and practical (for those long, cold winters). (Tip: get one in genuine clown hair. The artificial stuff can cause a rash)
"Now when you get real close to my balls they smell and taste like Tangerines & Cream."
Swap "when" with "if". You're making me uncomfortable. Swap "if" with "never". While that's grammatically incorrect, it's...get your hand off my thigh.
Antinous "Tangerines & Cream doesn't have the same appeal as crack sweat and axle grease."
How about the smell photocopier toner and failure? Women make that "tsk" clucking sound when they smell that combination. I assume that sound means something good.
#98 Ha! Whenever my dog does this I picture a thought-bubble over his head that says (in a pepe le peu accent) "Ah the ladies are going to love my new cologne!"
Well, Pahool, I think you're right. The tingly sensation of Gold Bond is pleasant, but the corn starch is longer-lasting, decreases friction noticeably better and seems to last longer. The texture is also noticeably finer, imparting an almost silky feel to the skin. I admit I'm impressed. Thanks for the good advice.
Good lord, I said it twice. It's past my bedtime.
ssm tht f y hv scrtm y lrdy hv mscln scnt nd tht y dd nt py nyn fr t. f y r cncrnd tht yr scrtm s ffnsv, try wshng t nd thn pt n yr knckrs nd gt bck t wrk lk th rst f s nd stp bsssng vr yr blls y slly twt.