Funny Gummi Lighthouses

(via Joey deVilla)

[#1 posted by TayArgJosh18 , June 30, 2008 10:46 AM]

What's the joke? Stop dicking us around and give us a firm answer. You might have thought you won this round, but I will lick you yet.

[#2 posted by Jackson , June 30, 2008 10:46 AM]

I don't really understand why there's a great need for gummi lighthouses, but I guess it's not surprising that the people making those aren't the sort to go "hey...turn it sideways and it's a penis!"

Still, though...

[#3 posted by pauldrye , June 30, 2008 10:47 AM]

For similar reasons, I have an engraving of the Eddystone Lighthouse (one of the older ones, not the current one) above my bed.

[#4 posted by Mantari , June 30, 2008 10:51 AM]

I think those lighthouses would be fabulous if only they were significantly taller! A seaman needs a tall lighthouse that can be seen for miles.

[#5 posted by ill lich , June 30, 2008 10:51 AM]

My gummi worm is bigger.

[#6 posted by mcgringostarr , June 30, 2008 10:52 AM]

the resemblance to GUMMI PENISES is uncanny!

[#7 posted by cherry shiva , June 30, 2008 10:55 AM]

didja gum yet ?

[#8 posted by jonathan_v , June 30, 2008 11:04 AM]

@MCGRINGOSTARR

This is something I never thought I'd say:

Those look nothing like "Penis Gummies" ( http://passionate-pleasures.com/catalog/images/9003401N%20PENIS%20GUMMIES.jpg ) or "Super Fun Penis Candy" ( http://www.chocolatefantasies.com/penis-candy-header.jpg ) to me.

[#9 posted by Antinous , June 30, 2008 11:12 AM]

Kanamara Matsuri Scroll down for the Penispops.

[#10 posted by Xopher , June 30, 2008 11:12 AM]

Didn't I see this exact picture on Boing Boing a couple of weeks ago? I could swear I did.

[#11 posted by TonksPlum , June 30, 2008 11:15 AM]

Good grief my mind is in the gutter… my first thought was not a light house….
Innocence of youth, where have you gone off to?!...

[#12 posted by geekd , June 30, 2008 11:21 AM]

@Xopher:

This was on the Fail Blog a few weeks ago. Perhaps you saw it there.

http://failblog.org/

[#13 posted by Phikus , June 30, 2008 11:21 AM]

MCRINGOSTARR @#7: Really? So you have a bag of Gummi Penisis(tm) for comparison? Why scrutinize so rigidly? Are you being a stand-up guy to point this out, or just cumming to a foreskin conclusion? If it's true what you say, then the designer should be sacked.

[#14 posted by Antinous , June 30, 2008 11:26 AM]

Didn't I see this exact picture on Boing Boing a couple of weeks ago?

Or you could be thinking of the Fun Straws.

[#15 posted by minTphresh , June 30, 2008 11:37 AM]

these go great with the "twin peaks" gummis!

[#16 posted by TeraGram , June 30, 2008 11:48 AM]

These were also featured prominently on The Consumerist.

http://consumerist.com/tag/gummi-lighthouses/?i=5016377&t=these-gummi-lighthouse-candies-are-highly-inappropriate

[#17 posted by mcgringostarr , June 30, 2008 11:51 AM]

#8 gravity and age will prove me right!

[#18 posted by Poormojo , June 30, 2008 12:03 PM]

I thought these were hilarious when I blogged them a few weeks back.

[#19 posted by Teresa Nielsen Hayden / Moderator , June 30, 2008 12:05 PM]

So did I. Stuff goes around.

[#20 posted by oulipian , June 30, 2008 12:06 PM]

Those sure are some colourful off-colour gummies! Funny, a lot of things on Boing Boing seem to be off-colour today.

[#21 posted by Phikus , June 30, 2008 12:12 PM]

The Consumerist also featured some dog treats resembling the wrong kind of bone...

http://consumerist.com/consumer/pet-food/del-monte-dog-treats-are-highly-inappropriate-332195.php

[#22 posted by LindsayC , June 30, 2008 12:13 PM]

Interesting- the lighthouse gummies look more like penises than the penis gummies... which makes them exponentially more disturbing/funny

[#23 posted by Kabur Naj , June 30, 2008 12:28 PM]

Hmmm, interesting.... They would appear to be Jewish lighthouses...

[#24 posted by serial , June 30, 2008 12:34 PM]

Is this the same company that made gummi Georgia O'Keefe prints?

[#25 posted by Antinous , June 30, 2008 12:45 PM]

Clearly you've done more penis research than me. I really should get out more.

[#26 posted by dougrogers , June 30, 2008 12:50 PM]

Geeez. Sometimes a gummy chewy lighthouse is just a gummy chewy lighthouse.

[#27 posted by Bookyloo , June 30, 2008 12:59 PM]

"I called walmart to tell them that these Gummi Lighthouses look like the private male area. And they acted like I was making it up! The way they treated me just wasn't right."

tee hee

Fucking hilarious. I apply occam's razor to this one. What seems like a simpler explanation? That a candy company came up with "gummi LIGHTHOUSES(???!!)" as a concept, or that they went "quick, what should we put on the Gummi Dick packages to get 'em through customs??"

[#28 posted by MaliaO , June 30, 2008 1:01 PM]

When dining on Gummi Bears, I bite their heads off first, then their legs, and pop the torso in y mouth for afters. Am going to have to think about where to start on the "Lighthouse".

[#29 posted by DWNLDTH5 , June 30, 2008 1:02 PM]

@Jackson

Perhaps they are.

[#30 posted by slideguy , June 30, 2008 1:03 PM]

Nothing gets by you people.

[#31 posted by shmengie , June 30, 2008 1:35 PM]

now i can tell my gf, "c'mon, baby...it's time to man the lighthouse."

[#32 posted by malpomme , June 30, 2008 1:45 PM]

they're biceps!

[#33 posted by Antinous , June 30, 2008 2:05 PM]

Why didn't these exist when they made Hedwig and The Angry Inch? There's even a gummi bear scene!

[#34 posted by fnc , June 30, 2008 2:09 PM]

I'm only slightly disappointed that I was expecting to get to see models of lighthouses made out of gummi candies and did not find them. This'll do, however.

[#35 posted by Anonymous , June 30, 2008 4:09 PM]

I need to find out where I can purchase a few dozen of these.

Now, when I suggest some jerk go "eat a bag of dicks", I can follow up by smiling politely and offer them a delicious bag of colorful fruit confectionary!

[#36 posted by Torley , June 30, 2008 5:37 PM]

When are Spore creature candies coming?

[#37 posted by dbarak , June 30, 2008 5:41 PM]

Cummi Lighthouses...?

[#38 posted by minamisan , June 30, 2008 6:04 PM]

what's all this talk about penises? all i see here are lighthouses.

[#39 posted by bolamig , June 30, 2008 6:09 PM]

Phallic lighthouse gummi candies is about the most specialized product niche I have ever seen. I want to know what the distribution channel is for this product. How is it that someone can make money selling phallic lighthouse gummi candies but I still can't find a decent looking watch that clips onto my belt loop?

[#40 posted by genericvox , June 30, 2008 7:01 PM]

-Did you just say he's hung like a lighthouse?

-No, hung like a *gummi* lighthouse. And just as tasty!

[#41 posted by arbitraryaardvark , June 30, 2008 7:32 PM]

This would be funny, except that gummies are made from gelatin, and gelatin is made from pigs, cows, etc. [e-mail]

[#42 posted by Antinous , June 30, 2008 7:38 PM]

I'll take the pork chop straight up then. Or in this case the pork...well...better not to think about that.

[#43 posted by RevJerome , June 30, 2008 7:48 PM]

Just seen at Walgreens...

These Hanna Montana gummies are disturbing too...

http://www.celebrateexpress.com/celebration/pages/products/product_bd.aspx?sku=BD00366

Before you think I'm a perv, they are a lot more disturbing looking in person.

They stopped me in my tracks at the store.

[#44 posted by Antinous , June 30, 2008 7:55 PM]

Ew.

[#45 posted by spincycle , July 1, 2008 4:06 AM]

I *love* gummi anything...

..and deeply regret that it's hs ard to find VEGETARIAN gumminesss.

[#46 posted by StrangeInterlude , July 1, 2008 8:15 AM]

Dear Mill Farm Candies,

I bought a bag of your gummy penises the other day, and was shocked to discover that the penises resembled miniature lighthouses. Children should not be subjected to such shoddy representations of the human anatomy. What's next, gummy anuses that look like peach rings?

Yours truly,

StrangeInterlude

[#47 posted by TigR , July 1, 2008 10:53 AM]

The joke is truly in our hands.