Paul Bunyan vs. the Singularity

Michael sez, "I had this wacky idea a few days ago, about writing some Paul-Bunyan kinds of stories from the point of view of a post-Singularity storyteller. I always had a thing for tall tales."

I just LOVE these -- I mean, who wouldn't love stories called "Paul Bunyan and the Spambot," "Bruce Schneier and the King of the Crabs," and "Lord Cthulhu Walks the Desert"? The Spambot one is especially tasty. This deserves to be a meme -- and maybe a podcast!

Naturally, just getting Paul Bunyan online was already no mean feat. There was no broadband available in the remote areas of the woods where they'd been working, so the first thing he had to do was string optical cable from the nearest T1 line, which was clear down in St. Paul. For anybody but Paul Bunyan, that would have been near impossible, but ol' Paul just ordered a couple flatbeds of the finest glass windows Minnesota had to offer, chewed'em all up in a single mouthful, and drew'em out between his teeth to spin three hundred miles of perfect fiber optics. Then he just coiled it all up in a loop, and walked all the way into town, stringing that cable all the way. So getting online wasn't a real problem.

No, the real problem was using a computer built to the scale of a normal man! To Paul, the biggest font available was like microfiche, and he'd never been fond of reading much but lumber futures, anyway. And the largest screen they could find was no better than an old Nokia mobile phone for Paul.

Link (Thanks, Michael!)

[#1 posted by plongc , June 6, 2008 11:56 PM]

nothing deserves to be a meme.

[#2 posted by Not a Doktor , June 7, 2008 12:57 AM]

nothing deserves to be a meme. nothing deserves to be a meme. nothing deserves to be a meme. nothing deserves to be a meme. nothing deserves to be a meme. nothing deserves to be a meme. nothing deserves to be a meme. nothing deserves to be a meme.

PLONGC is not a meme

[#3 posted by historyman68 , June 7, 2008 1:47 AM]

That story is amazing. As I read it, I kept imagining the voice of an old-timey narrator. And at the end, I laughed out loud. Or would've, if it hadn't been 4:45am.
Well done, sir.

[#4 posted by mdhock , June 7, 2008 12:46 PM]

This is like a mashup of American folklore and Stanislaw Lem. Great stuff!

[#5 posted by Michael , June 7, 2008 1:11 PM]

Gawrsh. I guess coming from Indiana is finally useful for something.

[#6 posted by Antinous , June 7, 2008 2:32 PM]

Cthulhu is totally welcome here in the desert, but he needs to bring his own moisturizer.

[#7 posted by eustace , June 7, 2008 3:15 PM]

Wonderful stories! May the Muse continue to inspire you.

[#8 posted by IckesTheSane , June 7, 2008 8:02 PM]

For those interested in Paul Bunyan stories, the often linked to Escape Pod had a flash story a while back, "Paul Bunyan and the Photocopier"

http://escapepod.org/2006/06/24/ep-flash-paul-bunyan-and-the-photocopier/

[#9 posted by kkennedy , June 9, 2008 7:12 AM]

I can't wait for "Paul Bunyan vs. Chuck Norris".