Man loves sex with cars

Edward Smith, 57, of Washington, is a mechaphiliac. He likes "having sex" with cars. In fact, his last relationship with a human was 12 years ago and he never had sex with her. His current love is Vanilla, a white VW Beetle. The Telegraph profiles Smith and he's featured in an upcoming documentary titled "My Car Is My Lover." From The Telegraph:

"I appreciate beauty and I go a little bit beyond appreciating the beauty of a car only to the point of what I feel is an expression of love," (Smith) said.

"Maybe I'm a little bit off the wall but when I see movies like Herbie and Knight Rider, where cars become loveable, huggable characters it's just wonderful.

"I'm a romantic. I write poetry about cars, I sing to them and talk to them just like a girlfriend. I know what's in my heart and I have no desire to change."

He added: "I'm not sick and I don't want to hurt anyone, cars are just my preference."

Link to Telegraph article, Link to YouTube video of Smith

Previously on BB:
• Man pretends sex with car, busted Link

[#1 posted by Stefan Jones , May 23, 2008 12:25 PM]

Too bad his girlfriend couldn't have come up with a big automobile costume.

OK. I shouldn't have even thought about that. Now I have this picture in my head of out-of-the-way hotels hosting car-cosplay conventions.

[#2 posted by Enochrewt , May 23, 2008 12:34 PM]

His current love is Vanilla, a white VW Beetle.

He's cheating! That's not a beetle in the picture!

[#3 posted by Tits McGee , May 23, 2008 12:45 PM]

According to the article, he's actually got a little harem:

As well as Vanilla, he regularly spends time with his other vehicles – a 1973 Opal GT, named Cinnamon, and 1993 Ford Ranger Splash, named Ginger.

I do hope he practices safe sex. That Ford Ranger sure can get around - goodness knows what she has hanging out in her tailpipe.

[#4 posted by Anonymous , May 23, 2008 12:48 PM]

Call me naive, but I've no idea how one consummates a relationship with a vehicle.

[#5 posted by Wingo , May 23, 2008 1:05 PM]

Kids in the Hall will demonstrate for you (NSFW)

http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/41f325e282

[#6 posted by Antinous , May 23, 2008 1:17 PM]

That Kids video is evil. And hilarious.

[#7 posted by Beryllium , May 23, 2008 1:17 PM]

Sounds like he should invest in a Mercury Mistress.

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x11ok_pub-mercury-mistress_ads

[#8 posted by zuvembi , May 23, 2008 1:20 PM]

Ahem, this is the definitive sex with automobiles FAQ (for males) I believe.

[#9 posted by Antinous , May 23, 2008 1:24 PM]

Readers,

I strongly suggest that you assume that any link in this thread is NSFW.

[#10 posted by Stefan Jones , May 23, 2008 1:37 PM]

Hmmm. People stuck with gas-guzzling Hummers and Expeditions can tart them up and sell them to autosexuals, who presumably won't care about fuel efficiency.

[#11 posted by stratosfyr , May 23, 2008 2:08 PM]

"...and it's hard but I'll try
To not romanticize the automobile
*dada-da*
To not romanticize the automobeeel..."

[#12 posted by nehpetsE , May 23, 2008 4:02 PM]

Just like a car
You`re pleasing to behold
I`ll call you Jaguar
If I may be so bold

Marc Bolans "Jeepster"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ti8sMxPwC4U

It is a well known fact that 87% of all Bolan/T-rex songs are about car fucking and Bolan died in a car accident.
Ironically, He never drove a car himself because he was terrified of driving a car (in the conventional sense, at least)

[#13 posted by corpse 1 , May 23, 2008 4:13 PM]

Cue the "My other car is my lover" bumper stickers.

[#14 posted by Torley , May 23, 2008 4:25 PM]

Do you think he's into Transformers too?

[#15 posted by Antinous , May 23, 2008 4:30 PM]

Now I'm all hot thinking about Bumblebee.

[#16 posted by Tenn , May 23, 2008 4:33 PM]

I think we all are Antinous.

[#17 posted by Antinous , May 23, 2008 4:38 PM]

Once you go yellow and black, you never go back.

[#18 posted by Pyros , May 23, 2008 5:55 PM]

Well,as Thomas Dolby informed,they are nothing more than giant phallic symbols on wheels.

[#19 posted by ME , May 23, 2008 6:13 PM]

Too bad he's not from California, or he'd be engaged by now.

*ducks*

[#20 posted by arkizzle , May 23, 2008 8:43 PM]

Mechaphilia FTW!

Plan on seeing a lot more of this, as domestic robots become mainstream, and eventually shrug off the roomba "functional" look for that sexier "Cherry2000" look we've all been waiting for..

[#21 posted by License Farm , May 23, 2008 9:47 PM]

Can I get any sort of recognition for having posted the link to this story in the fake car sex one a couple days ago? It's the one that reads, "As if on cue."

[#22 posted by Xenu , May 24, 2008 1:03 AM]

Does JG Ballard know about this?

[#23 posted by anthropomorphictoast , May 24, 2008 1:12 AM]

Actually, with the way men are with their cars, I'm surprised more guys don't have this fixation. :P

[#24 posted by Mitch , May 24, 2008 3:50 AM]

A lover that farts smog? Gross!

[#25 posted by Lord Xenu , May 24, 2008 7:01 AM]

So, uh, how long before it's legal for a man to marry a VW Beetle in the state of California?

[#26 posted by Takuan , May 24, 2008 7:21 AM]

Oh lord, what a happy coincidence;a moment please: do you believe in John Davis?

Thanks so much

[#27 posted by arkizzle , May 24, 2008 2:32 PM]

Mitch, that's probably some sort of zen moment you just had there. As a man, to see it from "her" side..

[#28 posted by lukemeister , May 24, 2008 10:08 PM]

Now I know where those tiny 'smart cars' are coming from. They're his kids.

[#29 posted by Avram , May 25, 2008 9:56 PM]

According to the FAQ Zuvembi linked to, one should avoid having sex with the car while the engine's on, partly because of the danger of suffocating yourself with the carbon monoxide.

Talk about auto-erotic asphyxiation!

[#30 posted by markfrei , May 27, 2008 9:05 AM]

The classic early 70's gay porn video "Sex Garage" has a Harley tailpipe copulation sequence that later was cut out as being too scandalous. Considering what all was left in, this is rather odd...