Teen in skimpy dress denied prom entrance
School officials refused Marche Taylor admittance to her senior prom because they felt her custom dress was inappropriate. Apparently, voices got raised and Taylor was escorted from the hotel in handcuffs. My friend Lisa Mumbach said a similar thing happened to her friend in high school, but her friend left before the fuzz were called in. From the Dallas Morning News:
Link to article and videoEven after offering to provide more cover, Ms. Taylor was denied access. So she demanded her money back.
Eventually, Ms. Taylor said, someone called police. Officers showed up, handcuffed her and escorted her out. A photographer snapped a photo of Ms. Taylor, in handcuffs, being led out of the hotel.
Wll lk t th gd nws. Nw "Ghtt Prm 2" cn ffclly strt pr-prdctn.
Teen + skimpy dress + handcuffs = Dear diary: Jackpot!
The dress is hideous but I doubt its the reason she was taken away in handcuffs. More likely she was being disruptive. ...Though she deserved her money back.
Cn y sy '5-dllr hkr'? knw y cld. Myb th schl ws frd sh wld strt tryng t trn trcks t th prm.
The dress is tramptastic but at least it matched the color of her date's outfit, which shows that at least there was some forethought in all this. Which apparently didn't have her thinking, "Oh, maybe I'm showing a bit too much skin."
But the more I look at it, the less it seems like a big deal. The school really does need to lighten up.
Were they worried about wardrobe malfunctions?
Holy Shit!
How little does one have to do, to get handcuffed in America?
Seriously, it seems you will get cuffed over some pretty inconsequential, civil rather than criminal, shit these days.
If you weren't under arrest for some pretty antisocial behaviour like D&D (not the game, they don't still arrest people for that do they?), or an actual criminal offense, you would not be handcuffed in the UK or Ireland.
Can someone fill me in on the kinds of things that will get you cuffed over there? If you are being escorted away from somewhere, will they cuff you?
And I agree, she deserved her ticket money back and had her prom night ruined, so probably deserved to get a bit shouty.
Yes, ugly dress, she should have gotten her money back, probably shouldn't have been handcuffed.
But doesn't something like this happen at about 50% of all the prom dances in the US? I think I've heard similar stories most every year.
I think the dress was clearly inappropriate. I think she either knew or should have known it would be considered inappropriate, and shouldn't get her money back.
I don't know what got her arrested. I doubt if just standing there quietly saying "I want my money back" would have done it.
I also notice that the article says "even after offering to provide more cover." What does that mean? It makes a difference if she said "OK, I'll go put on the waist-length jacket and floor-length skirt, which I left in the car in case of just such a reaction" or if she said "I'll stuff a hanky in my cleavage, OK bitch?!"
So . . . why is this on Boingboing?
"Can someone fill me in on the kinds of things that will get you cuffed over there? If you are being escorted away from somewhere, will they cuff you?"
The story BB links to doesn't make this clear, but the student was probably arrested and charged with either disorderly conduct or trespassing. The last line of the story contains and admission from the student that she was given two options -- probably by police who showed up -- a) go home or b) go to jail.
Since when is "looking like a hooker" a crime? This is just further proof that we now live in Dictator Bush's police state. The police should have shrugged and walked away, unless she tried to physically harm someone.
"Looking like a hooker" is not a crime. On the other hand, she already showed enough poor judgment by showing up like that to an event that is generally presumed to show off your ability to dress like an adult that I'm not shy about assuming she acted like a spoiled child when she was denied entry - and *THAT'S* why the police were called.
Also, if my own experience is any indication, you don't buy tickets when you get to the prom - you get them weeks in advance. If that was the case here, they probably didn't have any money on hand to repay her, even if they wanted to.
#12 - it's not a crime. She was arrested because she was being disruptive. An overreaction? To be certain. But it was NOT because of how she was dressed.
This is yet another story where the nuanced line between the vast fields of "OMG THOUGHT POLICE" and "BITCH HAD IT COMING" is going to be somewhat hard to find without details of what exactly went on at the door.
Cue "Cunning Plan" cliche...
A dress like that, and she didn't even get to kiss Captain Kirk. I'd want my money back, too.
#15 - Exactly right.
I've noticed a tendency in a lot of articles (I'm not saying it's a new phenomenon, just that I've only really noticed it recently) that articles like this may be short on details for a reason. Media outlets want BOTH sides of the interpretational divide to get excited by the story.
If they gave more details, they would lose half the potential audience for this story. Readers who keep an eye out for civil liberties violations might assume this was not a story for them. Or those who enjoy prurient-interest stories of crazies doing crazy things wouldn't care about it.
Not giving details is in the Dallas News's best interest.
Wow Xoph', that's a pretty hard-liner approach you are taking there.
So, she may have been 'pushing the boat out' when considering what to wear, but it's equal parts school-prudishness as fashion-daringness.
So, their views on appropriateness didn't meet in the middle. At the point of her being asked to leave, she should have been offered the ticket price or a way around the impasse.
The school knows what the prom means to attendees (socially and psychologically, milestone/rites of passage), and in the interests of avoiding a scene and having their own time wasted, they could have considered the social-gravitas of the event, and understand the consequences of refusing entry to it, for the girl and her peers.
Surely it was in the interests of everyone involved to see that the student got in and had a good time, rather than saying, "no, even if you cover up, you can't come in, and no money back either". Eh.. no customers rights?
And: "go home or go to jail" are pretty shitty options. If this was in a store of some kind, we'd be leaping to the students defence, saying her liberty was being sullied.
I'll admit, we don't have the details to really make that call, but to assume she was immediately in the wrong, or immediately aggressive, is just unwarranted. If she got upset because they were stonewalling her attempts to remedy the situation, then she deserves to get mad.
More info please.
__
Also: Brian, indeed I had read the article and was wondering what kind of other things you would expect someone to be cuffed for, day-to-day.
It is a last option in my experience, but it seems to be a middle ground option in America, the more I hear.
Come on - that dress is insanely great! We've got to give her credit for coming up with a dress like that and trying to get into her prom with it.
On some level, isn't just about everything on Boing Boing about the appreciation of "art for art's sake?" No? Or is this the sort of crowd that would wet their pants if she went to her prom in an Imperial Storm Trooper costume - but deny her something equally (or perhaps even more) creative because it exposes her midriff?
For those wondering whether or not Marche should have known she would be denied entrance, I would point out that one of the shots in the news clip is of a very clear sheet of Prom Dress Code instructions, one of which is "no more than 1 inch of midriff exposed." The distribution of a page of dress code instructions makes me think that "appropriateness" has been an issue for this school in the past, which makes it even more likely that students knew about the possible ramifications of ignoring the dress code.
That said, this is such a non-story that I can't believe any mainstream media are carrying it, let alone BB. "Teen outfit shocks adult chaperones" is right up there with last week's "sometimes tornadoes toss around trash that includes old cancelled checks" and "kid busted for stealing candy bars". Thank God for the 24-hour news cycle . . .
#13 Mulveyr
"..your ability to dress like an adult.."
Ohh! you mean a 'respectable' adult.. unfortunately MTV doesn't have the "Dress Like a Respectable Woman and Be Respected" show. Nor do most stations.
Sadly, it's pretty much all, "Dress Like a Slut and Get Rich".
I don't think that her dress is really that shocking compared to normal prom wear in the third millennium. I've seen a lot of Rose McGowanesque prom dresses online lately. Hell, Cher would have worn this in 1972.
Why exactly are people calling that a "dress"?
@#23: "Hell, Cher would have worn this in 1972."
You say that like it's a good thing... ;)
It's a school event.
She doesn't need to wear that at a school event. We have dress codes for a reason; because it's not appropriate. Schools are liable when they have students exposing themselves (and doing sexual things in the halls / bathrooms / courtyards) not literally and legally, but it destroys the school's image. She likely screamed and freaked out; that's what teenagers do.
She shouldn't have gotten escorted out for the dress, but if she threw a fit, that's a reasonable response. My prom had metal detector wands, a bag check, etc, and if anyone wore a skimpy dress I'm sure they'd have been kicked out.
It's not the dress, it's the attitude.
Besides, that's really unfashionable.
Someone who would wear, essentially, a bathing suit to a prom does not strike me as one who will take news of her rejection from Prom with grace and dignity.
Crunchbird caught it, there was a clear dress code laid out, she pretty much flipped it the bird with that get-up.
It's weird for me, because normally I'm on the side of letting your freak flag fly, but that's not a dress, it's a damn costume.
Amazed at the level of prudishness in comments above. Does "skimpy" always = "slut?"
The outfit covers more skin than most bathing suits, so there's no question of indecency.
Inappropriateness? I dunno; given what's being touted as high fashion these days... It isn't exactly a black sheath dress or tuxedo, but it *IS* fancy dress/evening wear/whatever. Whether it's a good instance of same is a matter of taste, and that isn't a topic which folks should be judging.
So: Depends on how the prom's dress code rules were written and published. Assuming they _were_ made clear in advance.
To my eye that outfit looks like she lost a fight with a curtain; neither the color nor the style are particularly flattering. But if that's what she wants to go with, and the stated rules don't put it squarely out of bounds, I'll defend her right to make that decision.
And I'd argue that if the rules do put her in the wrong, someone might want to consider changing them. My personal take is that if someone wants to go to their prom in nontraditional garb, let 'em. The event is for the kids, not for the adults; they can make their own minds up about whether they approve or disapprove. If that means you wind up with something closer to a costume ball than a formal, more power to 'em; creativity is a good thing.
They were just trying to protect her from a room full of teenage boys who, hopped up on GTA, would have paid her for sex then run her over to get their money back... (and get points!)
"This is just further proof that we now live in Dictator Bush's police state."
Yeah, those cops were obviously under direct orders from the president!
Here's hoping she was just arrested by the fashion police, because DAMN.
That'd be tacky at a luau.
#28: Skimpy != slut. Skimpy is fine when you're on the beach.
That doesn't mean that beachwear is appropriate at a prom, or a job interview. The last time I checked, proms are ostensibly formal affairs.
But lets get down to brass tacks: Maybe I'm just particularly sheltered, but the *only* places I see women wearing clothes like that are where they're flagging down passing cars - and probably not to ask directions. Your chosen mode of dress makes a social statement - even from the teens who are in bog-conventional jeans and tees. Personally, I don't see the appropriateness of someone dressing like a streetwalker at a prom.
Prudish? Possibly. This may be socially unenlightened of me, but if she showed up at a job interview dressed like that, she wouldn't even make it through the door. I suspect most people would do the same.
@#28: Does "skimpy" always = "slut?"
When DOESN'T it...?
I appreciate that she's trying to stick it to the prudes, no matter how ugly and humiliating the dress is, but whatever happened to taking your blows with dignity? Aren't there any heroes anymore?
SERIOUSLY
Everyone saying this dress would be ONLY ever seen on hookers.. (Mulbeyr @33, I'm looking at you)
PLEASE.
Turn on MTV or any fashion/music channel and that's what you get. The standards of dress are being set by all sorts of people, and NONE of them care about the consequences.
Yes, I agree MTV is shit, and it's a pity indeed that such muck-pushers hold sway over the teens of the day.. but they do, and they did (maybe with a different face) for each of our generations. You can say "not me" all you like, me too, but certainly for a section of kids from every generation fashon and it's boundaries are the place to express onesefl (taste aside, have you seen the shit we used to wear?).
I'm a 30 year old male and I'd love to have the confidence to dress like that girl. The idea that she might be dressed "inappropriately" should be offensive to anyone who values freedom and individuality, and I don't know where to begin to challenge the assumptions that would go into such a judgment. Calling her a whore or assuming she is asking to be sexually assaulted assumes a lot about the men of the world, which in my case at least is entirely inaccurate. A naked whore standing in front of me deserves the same consideration as a prim and proper English Lit professor. I wouldn't presume anything about either of them, especially that I could "get away" with committing crimes against one but not the other. Furthermore, to the point of this article that the cops were called because she was enraged, I have a right to be enraged in public without facing arrest. How dare any of them presume.
Earth Man, I'm amazed at the prudishness in the comments here, too. Who cares if it's slutty? Who cares if it looks like a costume? It's a high school prom. What do you think those kids are going to be doing in there all night, anyway? They're not going to be sitting around sipping tea with state dignitaries, they're going to be dancing with each other - and not the kind of dancing where you sway back and forth at arm's length, either.
I can't really form an opinion on whether this girl should have been kicked out without knowing all the details about dress codes and if they were made clear beforehand and whatnot, but I am rolling my eyes so hard at all the mentions of five-dollar hookers and flagging down cars in this comment thread. Talk about slut-shaming. Give me a break.
#37 - Like it or not, at certain social occasions there is usually either a rule or an assumption of which clothing is considered appropriate and which isn't. If someone doesn't wish to follow the expectations, they are free to not participate in the event.
I guess the simplest example would be: how would you feel if someone showed up at your wedding or the funeral of a loved one dressed in some 'inappropriate' manner, or naked for that matter? If you're truly ok with that, more power too you. But IMHO most people would be somewhat offended.
I likeded it, but then nobody axed me.
FWIW:
This IS NOT the dress code for the prom, but it IS the dress code for Madison High School's "Credit Recovery Summer School Program".. Make of it what you will.
DRESS CODE:
YOUNG LADIES:
Bare-back dresses are not acceptable.
One shoulder or strapless tops are not acceptable.
Bare-back halters, bare midriff or cut-off tops are not acceptable
See-thorough blouses or dresses (without an under blouse or t-shirt) are unacceptable.
Capri or crop pants, and pedal pushers may be worn by young ladies.
Shorts for young ladies WILL NOT be permitted.
Sandal-type shoes may be worn.
HOUSE SHOES OR THONGS, OR THONG-TYPE SHOES ARE NOT PERMITTED.
Tank tops unacceptable.
YOUNG MEN
Male students will not be permitted to wear earrings on campus.
LONG SHORTS may be worn by young men this summer.
Athletic shorts ARE NOT PERMITTED.
Shorts must be worn at the WAIST.
T-shirts with inappropriate language or signs/symbols are unacceptable.
Tank tops or muscle shirts are unacceptable.
MISCELLANEOUS GUIDELINES:
HEAD COVERING unacceptable (Scarves, "Do rags", caps, etc.).
ID Badges are required!
If you do not have an ID Badge, See Mrs. Young in the library.
Backpacks are not permitted on campus.
Arki': Wow Xoph', that's a pretty hard-liner approach you are taking there.
Not at all. A HARD line position would be that she should have been held overnight on a Solicitation charge. (No, I don't actually think that should have been done. Dressing in hooker drag is not the same as being a hooker.)
As has now been confirmed (I can't watch videos at work), she knew perfectly well that dressing that way would violate the dress code. If she was trying to make some kind of half-assed political point, she got her way, and should have no complaints.
If she made a fuss when told she wasn't going to be admitted, that would justify the management of the hotel asking her to leave. If she refused, that justifies calling the police. If she refused to leave when the police asked her to, that justifies cuffing her. Note it does NOT say she was arrested or charged.
As for "go to jail or go home," what other options COULD she have been offered? And at what point? If she had accepted their decision (not that it was one; they had to enforce the distributed dress code) from the outset, she certainly would have had the option to go to a restaurant with her date.
And she was NOT "handcuffed for wearing [a] skimpy prom dress." That wasn't a dress, for one thing, but more importantly there's no way that was why she was handcuffed.
In addition to all that: at a formal event, part of the fun is being among a whole lot of people who are all dressed formally. She was insisting not only on her right to ignore the rules, but to spoil everyone else's good time. She was being a "clothing troll."
I'd also love to know where y'all live that your hookers wear trains. Do fifty percent of BB readers live in Vegas hotels?
@Pooklord (#10), It's on BB because I found it personally interesting. And interestingness is my only filter when determining what I want to post.
Her outfit is incredibly tacky.
Her outfit certainly violates school dress code, which was provided to her.
She was certainly disrupting the event.
Prom is almost certainly not something that one can get one's money back for - the money is almost certainly spent.
Had she been able to acquire clothing that met the approval of the administration, she should have been allowed in.
She waived that option in favor of disrupting the event for many others, all of whom /also/ paid money and most of whom probably followed the rules (or at least did not break them, set them on fire, and scream "WAAAAAAAALT!" - as she metaphorically did.)
Isn't this the same dress that Queen Aoleon wore in Coming to America?
#39 - A high school prom is in no way comparable to a wedding or the funeral of a loved one. In fact, most of its social significance is sexual. Losing your virginity on prom night is a cliche for a reason. At the very least, practically everyone is gunning for a date and a kiss. That is not the case at a wedding or funeral, unless you are Owen Wilson or Vince Vaughn.
@2 - Excellent Quagmire reference! Giggity-giggity-giggity!
Wow. No shorts for girls, but boys can wear them? At a summer program? In TEXAS? And they ban CAPS?
OK, my comments stand, but now I understand why she was rebelling. Her high school administration are a bunch of sexist, fascist asshats.
Okay, who here remembers when you couldn't get into a restaurant without a tie and a sport jacket? They had extras (really hideous and humiliating ones) for men who showed up without them. Should we go back to that?
OK, you folks who are so ready to paste the "slut" label on scantily-clad ladies are ruining it for the rest of us pervs out there. Cut it out.
Seriously though, I would had thought that BB readers might be a little less conservative. ("Slut!" "streetwalker!" "hooker!") So the girl likes to show off a little. This ain't Saudi Arabia. Just saying.
I may not agree with what you wear, but I'll defend to the death your right to wear it.
-Fashion Voltaire.
@#50: Yes - because they also made you leave if you or your hellspawn were acting up.
Not just "Yes" but "Hell, Yes."
Only in Texas...
BardFinn 45: Hear, hear. You said it better and shorter than I did.
I didn't mention, but do agree, that had she been able to meet the requirements of the distributed dress code, she should have been admitted. The article doesn't say (of course) what "additional cover" she offered to provide. If it was something easily removable, I wouldn't have let her in either (since she'd just take it off right away.
If she'd been trying to get away with it, she'd've worn a sari or something over the whole thing, and unwrapped when she got inside. But she wanted to poke the school administration in the eye (and after reading their summer dress code I can't say I entirely blame her).
Antinous 50: No, of course not. But a restaurant is not a high school prom, either.
Arkizzle, that there's a racist fucking dress code. Long shorts are permitted, but not athletic shorts? No do-rags? Those are rules specifically designed to quash urban ways of dressing. There's no reason athletic shorts would be any more detrimental to a learning environment than long shorts. Of course, that doesn't change the issue at hand, I suppose, though it certainly makes me sympathize more strongly with anyone breaking a dress code established by that school.
I mean, I guess if she broke a dress code that was established beforehand then she broke it, and they're not going to allow her entrance, and that's fair. But the dress code itself is dumb. Is she really spoiling everyone's fun by wearing slutty clothes? I don't follow that line of logic.
@47 Laren - Not exactly my point. It doesn't matter what the significance is. Proms, weddings, funerals, job interviews, etc. are all occasions where a certain type of clothing is expected (usually, not always).
@50, Anti - I think there are still lots of restaurants like that around.
Is there an elephant in the room that no-one's mentioning here? Would the girl look less of a slut if she wasn't showing so much black skin? How strongly would people be reacting to her outfit if she were white?
Fashion Voltaire is well-known for establishing the Vegas Hotel line of clothing, in which all hookers wear trains.
More accurately, she would be denied entry into any place that requires a formal dress code, including a few VERY formal places I know which still allow open-backed dresses or odd cuts.
Lauren O 56: In broad terms I agree with you about the dress code. That said, however: She's spoiling everyone's fun by showing up in inappropriate clothes. The dress code aside, if she showed up in holey jeans and a t-shirt, I don't think she should get in either.
If they had a "Tight Pants and Titty Tops" dance, I think someone who showed up in the usual kind of prom dress should be turned away too. You don't get into a leather bar in NYC wearing sneakers, at the White Party wearing black or at the Black Party wearing white. And so on. It's the ambience that makes the event.
As for the athletic shorts...you've clearly never seen a guy's junk topple out of his athletic shorts, which doesn't happen with long shorts.
@#58:
Thanks, Nelson - It only took 58 posts before we FINALLY found a racist.
You win the thread.
\dt.
Here's the problem: there are no events where it's acceptable to dress sluttily (skimpily, daringly, sexily, whatever adverb you want to use), but unaccaptable to dress formally or respectfully.
My rule of thumb is that when party A's argument is that they should be able to engage in a practice or refrain from that practice, but party B's argument is that party A must either engage or refrain, then party A is right and party B is wrong.
#39 (I know this isn't directed at me)
Jake, the only thing I can grant you there is the funeral. Really. Why would anyone think they have a right to be offended by anyone else' attire? It's just clothes, and they are the one who has to suffer it, if it's truly awful.
I think too many people are 'offended' by things that have ZERO bearing on anything, and the growing (from my perspective at least) use of 'appropriateness' as a way to quell undesirable behaviour is getting pretty old, pretty quick.
Yes I can stretch my imagination to think of things that could be offensive if we wore them to certain places, but no one is talking about wearing a ProAborion tshirt to a baby shower, or a Nazi costume to a bar mitzvah, we're talking about a girl who made her own dress (who probably thought it was the height of chic) attending her own prom, and being arrested, or at least detained and cuffed (frankly, I think it's outrageous to handcuff someone who is not under arrest, which started my interest in this topic).
What if it was a girl who didn't buy into the whole prissy fashion thing and turned up in a non-skimpy, but certainly non-formal costume, not even a dress perhaps. Would that be innappropriate to a prom situation? Would that 'disrupt' or otherwise ruin everyone elses fun? Has no one ever made a statement about bullshit homogeneity at a prom before??
#57 - I think it does matter what the significance is, because the significance determines what kind of clothes are expected. When you're specifically trying to look good in order to get laid, slutty clothes make much more sense. At a funeral, where you're not trying to draw attention to yourself but to honor the death of a loved one, slutty clothes don't make sense.
#58 - It'd be hard to tell without knowing a lot more details about the story, but I think that's definitely a valid point to bring up, especially seeing as how the everyday dress code for the school is hella racist. Though the Hooters waitress that got kicked off the Southwest flight for wearing too short a skirt was white, so who knows?
If wearing a "tacky" or "slutty" dress ought to get a girl banned from a prom, I have to tell you, every occasion would be a pure sausage fest.
Regarding the 'hella racist' Dress code::
During the 2006-2007 school year, 2,492 students attended Madison [4].
58% were African-American
41% were Hispanic
Less than 1% were Asian
Less than 1% were White
Less than 1% were Native American
66% of students qualified for free or reduced lunch.
*from wikipedia
Nelson 58: Well, I would react the same way, but I can't answer your question overall. After reading the dress code I would almost wager that her school is at least 80% African-American, and trying to push their students away from "urban" (read: stereotypically "black") ways of dressing. Probably it comes from a misguided effort to improve their respectability/employability or something.
I'm about as white as white people get, and as a consequence I never go outside in summer daylight without wearing a cap. At that school I'd have to (because "HEAD COVERING unacceptable," not "head covering may not be worn in the classroom" and some school admin would tell me I couldn't come in).
Xoph'
pretty close! :)
Xopher, you know, it's funny - I just went to a White Party a couple weeks ago wearing mostly black (I was going to a differently themed party later that night) and they let me in. I've also been to the ballet in jeans more than once. They've never denied me entry. I've also been to costume parties where not everyone was dressed in a costume. No one's fun got ruined as far as I know.
People aren't offended because she wasn't dressed in the most traditional of prom attire, they're offended because she was dressed slutty. You should look up those contests they have for making prom outfits out of duct tape. Those kids all get let in to their proms, even though their outfits are made out of duct tape, which isn't really "appropriate" attire.
Good thing I didn't wager, huh? :-)
@39 - Ark, I don't even know why I'm arguing about this so much, I don't really give a shit about clothes myself (as you'd know if you saw the way I dress). Again my point is, that there were certain specifications for attending the prom (which she may or may not have known, I'll grant). She didn't meet the specifications, she was denied entrance. She raised a stink, somebody called the cops. The fact that she was handcuffed is way over the top, but other than that, I don't see that she has a legitimate beef.
Also, as someone above mentioned, if she had shown up in holey jeans and ratty t-shirt she would also have been denied entrance.
Oh, and I thought "athletic shorts" referred to, like, basketball shorts, which are actually in fashion. I don't think many dudes are super eager to wear those short running shorts to school. But I could be interpreting it wrong.
Arkizzle, yeah, I forgot that Hispanics are POC too. Same racist assumptions, same Concerned Parents Trying To Make Their Lives Better while actually buying into the racism themselves.
99% POC at that school. I can just guess at the undercurrents that led to this event. I have increasing sympathy for her, but I still think it's rude to the other students to show up at prom dressed like that.
Gloria 66: Heh. As a gay man, I must say that I'm rather fond of sausage parties!
Jake, me too :)
As I say, it was the handcuff routine that got me involved, but then so many people seemed to think it was ok I got caught up..
I suppose I just don't see people's fun being ruined by a differently dressed person. And I think the idea that one can just 'not take prt' as if this isn't a significant part of growing up in America (the prom, not dressing formally) is unrealistic, and unfun.
"I suppose I just don't see people's fun being ruined by a differently dressed person."
I agree with this, and would like to add for what it's worth that the straight guys there are probably having more fun when girls dress like that...
come on, obviously this girl is an orphan and can't afford the rest of the dress. If she had a parent, then she wouldn't have been allowed to wear that out in public...
regarding getting handcuffed. The cops don't just magically appear and handcuff people. Typically people will say, "I'm calling the police" and a few minutes later they show up. Plenty of time for someone to leave. Even if there were police there as security they wouldn't just arrest someone no questions asked (assuming they were good at their job which I know is a big assumption). The prom was held at the Marriot which is private property. They say get out, you get out or you are trespassing. That is almost certainly why she got handcuffed.
Whether the school officials were right to refuse her entry or not is a different matter.
Santa's Knee @62: I hope you don't think I'm a racist merely because I mentioned her race? Or is it because I thought there might be racist overtones to others' reactions to this girl wearing this outfit? I was asking a serious question, not making a rhetorical point. Seriously, I see all these instances of "slut" and "hooker" in reference to a teenage African-American girl, I have to wonder what's going on in commenter's heads.
"I suppose I just don't see people's fun being ruined by a differently dressed person."
I agree with that too. I think I'm done here. Now I'll go do something really useful, like checking out the adjustable hot sauce bottle.
Peace.
Lauren O 70: OK, I stand corrected on the White Party. Standards are falling everywhere! :-) The ballet, me too. The ballet is like a restaurant in my opinion; no one has a reasonable expectation of partying with similarly-dressed people.
______ 73: The fact that they contrast "athletic shorts" with "long shorts" is what led me to the conclusion that they're thinking of the short kind of athletic shorts. They don't want anything to show above, below, or between the students' clothing. Let me tell you, a guy's ass sticking out the top of his pants, covered only by a thin layer of cotton...or without the underwear, even showing a little bit of bun cleavage...is DAMNED distracting. I couldn't possibly learn anything in the presence of such a thing, and I bet most teenage girls couldn't either!
#78 - The first comment of the thread is about "Ghetto Prom 2," so yeah, I think it makes sense to wonder if there are some racial undertones to people's reactions.
Lauren O 76: But the girls wouldn't. They'd be trying to get their boys to stop ogling. Which is part of why dressing like that (when you KNOW all the other girls will not be) is rude as all get-out.
@#78: As the schoolyard saying goes - "Whoever smelt it, dealt it."
Did anyone even watch the video with the story? Apparently she did offer to cover up and they said no.
LB, did you even read the comments here? What does "offer to cover up" mean? I can't watch the video, so if you can throw any light on exactly what she offered to do, we can discuss whether it made a credible difference, but AFAIK that information is not available.
I just want to point out that the "standard" dress code for the high school that you all are commenting on is not, in fact, a "standard" dress code for the high school. It's the dress code specifically for students who are attending summer school in order to not be held back. This partly explains the focus on issues like shorts and flip flops, and also sheds a little light on the restrictiveness of the code. Students who have already slipped up and failed academic subjects are being given another chance at the material ... it doesn't shock me that the administration would be more focused on "removing distractions" from learning, or have more severe standards of behavior, for that particular student population.
Frankly, the more I see schools having to deal with these kinds of questions, the more I think that school uniforms are a pretty good idea after all . . .
I haven't had a chance to watch the video, but I feel I have to reply to #70. I firmly believe you SHOULD have been denied entry at the very least to the ballet.
Manner of dress conveys your respect for the situation. Showing up to a performance of any sort in jeans says "Eh, this is kinda entertaining, but it's not worth it to dress up." It's insulting to the performers and the incredible amount of effort they put into each performance. I also happen to think one should dress nicely for a nice restaurant but I'm so old fashioned I think children should behave or leave, so what do I know?
Showing up in that dress showed that she didn't care at all that the administration had made their dresscode clear previously. Offering to cover up is just foolish and I don't think I would have accepted it in the administration's position, either. It's easy to take a jacket off, after all, and putting on a totally different dress was probably NOT what she offered.
C’mon… would the world have REALLY ended if she was let into her prom? School officials think so, and now they are under a microscope. Overreaction FTW!
I think what draws us to this story is that its beginnings were not because of a gun, or drugs, or a crime, but a dress. Yep… the dangerous dress.
Most reasonable people would have either thumbs-up or shaken their heads at the dress, and let her in. It may have even caused some *gasp* gossip… but the overreaction makes it news.
From what I’ve been reading recently overreaction is the latest thing to do when you are in authority and faced with a problem. Good thing she wasn’t drinking lemonade too, or the cops would have separated her from her parents. By the way, did anyone arrest those ‘terrorists’ taking pictures of her? Oh, wait, not the UK. You can still take pictures here… for now.
Nelson, I thought it was an important point.
Santa, you're being unfairly inflammatory to Nelson's intentions.
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JCCalhoun: I don't imagine the cops just appeared magically or that she got 'cuffed whilst innocently saying nothing.
If she thinks she is in the right, why would she run away at the mention of the police? She would stand her ground and wait for an (assumedly bias-free) arbiter of justice to appear.
That you can be handcuffed whilst not under arrest however, is a fairly shocking lesson on America to me.
If you want to force my person away from somewhere, arrest me. If I am behaving illegally, arrest me. If I am not reasonable enough to walk away with you, as you explain what my rights are in the situation, you should probably arrest me.
But the idea that you can take me into custody unofficially, on your whim, because it's easier to handle me I don't like. Either I'm within my rights, or outside the law.
That being said, that was my lot. I'm going to take a leaf from Jake's book, and retire peacfully :)
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ps. CrunchBird, I made it very clear that it was the dress code for the summer credit session.
#80 - I was never distracted by the preponderance of guys sagging their pants at my high school. Not at all. I thought it was stupid, I rolled my eyes, and went on my way, much like everyone at the prom would be free to do when a girl in a slutty dress shows up. I think it's bullshit with the genders reversed, too. Guys can concentrate even if there is a girl in their class with a nice ass wearing short shorts. It is not THAT big a deal.
And, as a straight girl, I'll go on record saying I have no problem with other girls wearing revealing clothes around me, even when I'm not in revealing clothes, and that I think it's immature to react negatively to someone just because they are dressed revealingly. When girls get jealous of sluttier girls around them, I think that reflects more on them than on the sluts.
#83 - Thanks for intentionally bringing our discourse to a second-grade level! That is super appreciated!
Santa's Knee @83: Now, I'm going to have to assume that you're not being serious, since I really don't understand what you're trying to say. Moving right along....
What's the weather in Houston like right now? I know it can get plenty warm there, but I don't know about this time of year. If it's really warm then I'd think a minimalist outfit would be more comfortable than the traditional acres of satin, especially in the close confines of a dance. If the dress-code is about confining the womenfolk in layers of suffocating material, maybe it should be rebelled against.
And, while I think of it, you'd think the staff of a school would have plenty of experience of dealing with bolshy teenagers. Do they not believe in de-escalating trouble, or do they prefer to pass the job onto the police?
re: the covering up -
The clip that I saw (CNN.com) made it look like she and her friends offered to wrap the dress' train around her midriff and pin it there. If that's all the coverage they were offering, I'm not too surprised that the offer was rejected. Even if she had offered to put on a jacket she would have had to promise to keep it buttoned up all night or she probably would have still been violating the dress code.
#87 - Is dressing up to go to the ballet really just to show respect for the amount of time/effort the dancers have put into it? If that's true, shouldn't we all dress up to go to a baseball game, too? Those motherfuckers put a pretty good amount of time and effort into preparing for that game, don't they? I think the ballet dress code is based more on the fact that it's traditionally been a high-class form of entertainment and a place for rich people to show off their expensive clothes. I don't know, I was a competitive, pre-professional dancer for years, and it had never even occurred to me to wonder what the audience was wearing until you mentioned it just now, let alone how their clothes reflected their respect for me.
Ugh, I can't get away..
#87, I disagree entirely, refering only to your assertions about the ballet, I'm off the other topic, officially :)
Only the people who put any stead in how you dress would feel 'insulted' that you turned up in jeans.
Who says they weren't nice jeans? Who says you should read my intentions from the clothes I'm wearing? Who says that dressing in someone else's idea of respectable formality is the currently acceptable way of conveying ones respect?
And linking casually dressed people to disruptive children in a restaurant is a bit of a straw man. What is the connection? None. We probably all think disruptive children should be shot (ok, maybe not all of us).
I think it's just snooty elitism.
Effort =/= Appropriateness =/= Respect =/= Attitude
I don't see the problem here. Whether the dress was inappropriate doesn't matter - she violated the school's dress code policy.
>Did anyone even watch the video with the story? Apparently she did offer to cover up and they said no.
And did you listen to why they said no?
Here's the dress code policy of the school, which she would have to have agreed to in order to attend prom (there was a signature area on the form):
1. Only one inch of the midsection can be shown.
2. Bare backs are acceptable.
3. Slits in the dresses can be no more than three inches above the knee.
4. See through fabrics should not be in places with reveal private body parts.
5. Proper undergarments must be worn.
6. Tenis shoes of any kind are unacceptable.
2 wasn't a problem, 3 probably wasn't - the skirt was short, but it didn't have a slit, 4 probably wasn't - the fabric looked solid, and 6 wasn't a problem.
1 and 5 are the issues. The entire DRESS is midsection, and even if she covered up there would inevitably have been more than an inch showing. And she obviously wasn't wearing any kind of bra, which is probably the reason she was told she wasn't wearing proper undergarments.
If she had had no knowledge of the dress code and had been turned away from the hotel without warning, this would be a different story. But she was, by necessity, aware of the school's dress code and the potential consequences for violating them.
Nelson 91: I was in Houston in October, and the air conditioning was blasting everywhere. Living without AC in Houston...does not happen. Dying without AC in Houston, that's what it is. You can be sure that the hotel was air conditioned.
CrunchBird 92: Yeah, that's about what I figured.