Postcard of performing chimp at Jungle Land

Posted by Mark Frauenfelder, April 15, 2008 3:50 PM |
jungle-land-ape.jpg

How many things can you find wrong with this depressing old photo of a performing chimp at Jungle Land? Link

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#1 posted by fayska , April 15, 2008 4:13 PM

at least 6

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#2 posted by Davin Author Profile Page, April 15, 2008 4:31 PM

One. In a sign of a deep lack of professionalism, this lucky chimp has let his instrument deteriorate. It should have more pride in being allowed to participate in the rituals of higher primates. FOR SHAME, CHIMP.

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#3 posted by Jason McIntosh Author Profile Page, April 15, 2008 4:38 PM

Oh... this makes me want to die. Look at that hopeless mug. At least the elevator dude got out of his cage eventually.

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#4 posted by Sister Y , April 15, 2008 4:43 PM

The sailboats on the clown outfit are slightly more depressing than the nightmarishly cheerful illustration on the shredded drum. I've seen this facial expression on domestic abuse victims, but not until now on an animal.

What you probably can't tell from the picture is that the chimp is not a natural blonde - the hair color is fake, counter to the natural, unspoiled atmosphere evoked by the lawn and the decaying stool.

What the photograph doesn't capture is that he's playing "Stuck in Lodi Again."

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#5 posted by TharkLord , April 15, 2008 4:52 PM

1. Chimpanzee drummer's explosive prank at end of show destroyed drum and permanently damaged hearing of chimpanzee lead guitarist.

2. Blond mop wig unconvincing due to dark body hair.

3. Red dress makes chimp look fat.

4. Concert ruined due to Hell's Angel's bodyguard stabbing Jane Goodall.

5. Pete Best was a better drummer.

6. Pledge of Allegiance in chimpanzee vocalizations enrages conservative bloggers.

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#6 posted by alex4point0 , April 15, 2008 5:05 PM

Kinda reminds me of when W was sworn in.

Can't work out why though.

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#7 posted by Mr Ascii , April 15, 2008 5:22 PM

Another postcard with chimpanzees?

http://www.bnlmusic.com/

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#8 posted by ASIFA-Hollywood Animation Archive Author Profile Page, April 15, 2008 5:35 PM

The only thing the chimp looks unhappy about is having to stand still for the camera. I bet he'd rather be banging around on his toys instead of posing.

There's a great short from the "Speaking of the Animals" series where an all chimp band performs a rousing rendition of "Down in Jungle Town". If someone can find that, post it to YouTube please.

Gotta love monkey calendars, Lance Link, and that new Jack in the Box commercial with the chimp blasting off in a rocket ship! To quote a great philosopher, "Monkeez iz da kwaziest peoples!"

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#9 posted by backload Author Profile Page, April 15, 2008 5:44 PM

@ #8

> 2. Blond mop wig unconvincing due to dark body hair.

That is the only thing I noticed, probably should consider Nair or shaving. A little moisturizer on the hands would probably be good too....

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#10 posted by arkizzle , April 15, 2008 6:56 PM

Sister Y
..like a grass snake? faux adder?

stumped :(

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#11 posted by Takuan , April 15, 2008 6:59 PM

'I do not deny that my heart has greatly desired to ask what you offer. …
And now at last it comes. You will give me the Ring freely! In place of a
Dark Lord you will set up a Queen. And I shall not be dark, but beautiful
and terrible as the Morning and the Night! … Dreadful as the Storm and the
Lightning! Stronger than the foundations of the earth. All shall love me
and despair!'

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#12 posted by Sister Y , April 15, 2008 7:02 PM

Wow, that's deep, but nope.

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#13 posted by Takuan , April 15, 2008 7:10 PM

antikythera, Imsai, megalith, difference engine, abacus, Altair, Uniac, henge, Sinclair, ...... I swear, I WILL get you for this..... gamein, megani,negaim....oh, how you will suffer.......

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#14 posted by Sister Y , April 15, 2008 7:25 PM

#8 makes a good point - I remember reading a book by a classically-trained anthropologist who'd studied big cats, and she said that if she were a big cat, she'd choose to be a circus tiger, rather than a zoo tiger or even a wild tiger (under present ecological conditions). Circus tigers, in her opinion, had more full lives - getting to interact with trainer dudes, more stimulation, more interesting for them, stuff like that. Some would say the whole point of any creature's life is to have fun.

However, the answer here is that wild bonobos have it better than captive ones any day. (I'm sure many of us sekritly wish we were bonobos.)

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#18 posted by arkizzle , April 15, 2008 8:32 PM

So hey, I don't know about you Takuan, but I think she's just a young, innocent, pretty country monkey, lost in the big city, and those sneaky Jungle Land guys just plain took advantage, promising the glamorous life of a famous pin-up girl, instead of this one, fawned over by sticky fingered children and uncles alike.. huh?

..and the Irish always count :p

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#19 posted by Takuan , April 15, 2008 8:35 PM

never for kindness. You don't want to confuse them

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#20 posted by Takuan , April 15, 2008 8:43 PM

what? you are saying she's Irish?

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#22 posted by Takuan , April 15, 2008 8:47 PM

we already knew that!

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#23 posted by Takuan , April 15, 2008 8:52 PM

so there!

What clashes here of wills gen wonts, oystrygods gaggin fishy- 1
gods! Brékkek Kékkek Kékkek Kékkek! Kóax Kóax Kóax! Ualu 2
Ualu Ualu! Quaouauh! Where the Baddelaries partisans are still 3
out to mathmaster Malachus Micgranes and the Verdons cata- 4
pelting the camibalistics out of the Whoyteboyce of Hoodie 5
Head. Assiegates and boomeringstroms. Sod's brood, be me fear! 6
Sanglorians, save! Arms apeal with larms, appalling. Killykill- 7
killy: a toll, a toll. What chance cuddleys, what cashels aired 8
and ventilated!

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#24 posted by Takuan , April 15, 2008 8:56 PM

that last one made sense to me, have to go buy more beer

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#25 posted by arkizzle , April 15, 2008 9:00 PM

Good, I did wonder how you hadn't noticed the not-very-subtle accent in my typing. There's no secret in the origin of these messages.. (?)

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#26 posted by Chocolatey Shatner , April 15, 2008 10:25 PM

So, is that like La Pequena's hominid ancestor?

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#27 posted by Takuan , April 15, 2008 10:41 PM

hey,I'm just looking for answers

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#28 posted by Nick D , April 16, 2008 10:45 AM

But, but... how can you say this chimp was exploited? Surely he freely entered into the contract? He did, after all, accept a certain number of bananas in payment. He wouldn't have accepted the deal if it weren't fair and free from coercion, right? After all, if he hadn't been blessed with this opportunity, he would have just wasted his life in some tree somewhere, doing no one any good!

Therefore, the arrangement is satisfactory and capitalism shows it's superiority once again!

Take that, bleeding heart liberal animal lovers!

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#29 posted by cha0tic Author Profile Page, April 16, 2008 4:19 PM

The poor animal It's got fake blonde hair to make it look Aryan maybe? Then made to do a Nazi salute. They should've gone the whole hog and put jackboots on it. They don't alow people to do this anymore do they?

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#30 posted by Antinous , April 16, 2008 4:31 PM

They don't allow people to do this anymore do they?

Things haven't really changed all that much.

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#31 posted by Sister Y , April 17, 2008 8:21 AM

Cha0tic, good guess, but I'm not sure if there are political reasons this animal has chosen to have blonde hair. Nope, she's just trying for a breezy beach look, my brother.

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