Orlando-area people raise monkey as surrogate kids -- "monkids"
The Orlando Sentinel has an article and video about empty-nesters who buy monkeys and raise them as surrogate children.
Many self-described "monkey people" don't dare call them pets. They are playfully referred to as "monkids" and reared in a world of pierced ears, monogrammed clothes, a seat at the dinner table and their own bedrooms.LinkAt Gemini Springs in DeBary recently, Johnson pushed "Jessy" around in a toy-filled red stroller, a sight that drew attention. "Hey, it's a real monkey," hollered one youngster, who did a double take.
Johnson replied with a grin: "That's not a monkey; that's my kid."
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In this case, she CAN'T get in trouble for yelling "Hey, you monkeys! Get outta that tree!" at those kids.
:)
/me sighs.
My adopted city, Orlando, is so weird.
In a word....AWESOME!!
Now I know where to go for my monkey butlers when I hit the Lottery.
This is kind of funny on the surface. It's surely great fodder for a kids' story, like Mr. Popper's Penguins or the like. But might the investment of money, time and love be better applied to a human child? Oh wait...they don't stay cute forever, and I suppose they're a lot of responsibility. Option number 2 - a dog or cat stays reasonably small (breed dependent) and cute.
Sorry to be a killjoy, but it really bothers me that people are paying top dollar to own an exotic pet when there are so many unwanted children and "normal" pets.
these people are SICK! Just keep them the hell away from me and my sweet little puppie-pookins.
I'm not buying it. My uncle had a monkey, and it spent all of its waking hours tearing things apart and shitting. Shitting down the CURTAINS. He also owned an ocelot IN NEW YORK CITY, so maybe it wasn't entirely the monkey's fault.
Remember Nancy Kress' "Maximum Light"? *shivers*
Hoo boy. Okay, I'm getting judgmental here: Speaking as a person who does not have children and does not plan to have children, but who does have a cat and a parrot — they are not children.
My cat is not my kid. Your monkey is not your kid.
The money that these people are spending on their "monkids" — I wonder how many hours of therapy it could have paid for instead.
And I think the monkeys would be better off if they were being cared for by people who'd let them live like monkeys, instead of pushing them around in strollers.
All I can think is that treating a monkey like a human child can't be good for the monkey's mental health, or the surrogate "parents".
If they get monkeys from social species, the relative isolation of living with just two humans, and being sent to its room at night can't be good for it.
If they get monkeys form relatively antisocial species (living in pairs or small family groups) they're going to have a surrogate "child" that once it reaches sexual maturity isn't going to be nearly as friendly.
Either way, it IS going to reach sexual maturity before it's 10 years old, and that's going to really change its behaviour.
Not to mention being burdened with a creature with the problem solving skills of a 3 year old, the emotional stability and communication skills of a 1 or 2 year old, the nimbleness and reach of a small climbing animal, and the life experiences of a 10+ year old...
It's going to have all the stupid short sightedness of a toddler, the ability to reach all your stuff on high shelves, a fairly good ability to plan how to get from point A to point B in order to wreck havoc, and it'll learn how to get around everything you put in its way almost as fast as you find things to put in its way.
It will NEVER learn any better. And once it's an adult, you can add "feeling sexually frustrated" to the list of things that will put it in a bad mood fit for a Terrible Two-year-old.
It seems like a terrible idea to me.
Fnarf, your slur against the dignity of monkeys cannot go unchallenged. Do you see monkeys master minding a candy store robbery with their zombified human owners? I think not. And there are plenty of human children shitting down the curtains, Gummo Bathtub.
if a monkey living with you can't go out the door and swing through it's natural environment, then there is something wrong.
enough of this,my liddle snoogie-woogie puppy-poo wants walkies! Oh yesyoudoohyesyoudo!
And in other, seemingly unrelated news - dementia appears to be on the rise in the Orlando area!
Seriously, I would be kinda pissed if my mom decided to raise a monkey after I moved out of the house, and it got better toys than I did.
Also, please tell me these people aren't piercing their monkeys' ears. That's just cruel.
Reminds me of the book "The Ape in Our House", about an Orange County (Florida) pair of primatologists who did this with a chimpanzee named Viki. (There was a second book, but I don't recall the title.)
IIRC, they were trying to find out just how much of the difference was environmental vs. inherent. They had some very amusing stories. The most striking thing I noted was that the chimp actually learned to pronounce about half a dozen words, albeit in a throaty whisper.
Are monkeys the new Guatemalan babies?
A monkey without an eyepatch and a vial of poison? Doesn't seem particularly useful to me.
Orlando, home of Disney and anthromorphizing animals? Why am I not surprised.
We should remember that monkeys are not cute harmless animals. They have guile, curiosity, passions, and opposable thumbs.
I, for one, welcome our monkey overlords.
Surprised nobody mentioned the famous experiment two psychologists tried: raising a chimp alongside their son. Rather than turning the chimp human, the kid went ape. he got over it, eventually.
also, many's the linguist who lost a finger trying to teach an ape sign language.
The real question is: do they let them ride the subway alone?
documentary evidence that these 'kids' lack many basic skills
Johnson replied with a grin: "That's not a monkey; that's my kid."
"Damn lady, you sure got one UGLY kid!" he mumbled under his breath as he walked away.
I've considered piercing my cat's ears- I think it'd be pretty. As a responsible adult though, I realize that the cat wouldn't like it, would most likely hate me forever, and probably would rip it out with aggressive grooming. I'd also like a monkey to get me a drink out of the fridge or clean the house. Being an adult sure does put a damper on one's irrational dreams...
I'd also like a monkey to get me a drink out of the fridge
My experience with monkeys is that they take food away from you, not the other way around. That's how they keep up their strength for knocking you down and biting your face.
The Radiolab podcast has a very closely-related item in their latest episode "(So-Called) Life". I won't spoil the punch line, give it a listen. (Another mind-blowing episode.)
@#19: You win. :)
ever read "The Hot Zone" or "Demon in the Freezer"?
http://netvet.wustl.edu/species/primates/primzoon.txt
I think it was Hot Zone, in which I was struck by the vivid terror of military germ warfare workers having to capture a bunch of loose Ebola infected rhesus monkeys, tie them down and kill them one by one,all the time knowing that one small rip in their suit, one bite would be death by weeping, shitting and sweating blood out of every hole in their bodies while all the time being in the exquisite agony of having their guts liquefy and their skin slip off.
WHY THE HELL DO WE LET PEOPLE KEEP MONKEYS AS BLOODY PETS!?
This is sad, creepy, cruel to the animals and any number of other negative adjectives I can't be bothered to generate just now. Generally speaking, monkeys and apes make horrible pets, and the federal government is steadily increasing the pressures on the exotic animal trade, and especially the primate trade. Soon it could be completely illegal to import them or engage in interstate trade in them. When that happens, hopefully the trade will dry up completely and this variety of nut will have to rely on those weird "newborn" baby dolls, cats, or other child surrogates to fill the imaginary chasm fabricated in their soul.
The deluded woman who makes and sells monkey clothing for a living is particularly disturbing ... since when does "spending a lot of money on a thing" mean taking really good care of it? Hasn't she ever met any really rich kids?
"I can't wait to eat that monkey!" --Abe "Grampa" Simpson
Holy crap. These people need to get a grip. I want a monkey as a pet. I want to put it in a stroller and push it around town. But I want it as a pet and not some poor attempt to fill a gone child's void. Pick up the phone and call your kid for Pete's sake. Concentrate on being the parent you are now to your adult children and the grandparent to their children instead of trying to live in an idealized past with a fucking monkey as a stand-in child.
Pick up the phone and call your kid for Pete's sake.
Has it occurred to you that there might be reasons why she needs a substitute child?
Kinda takes all the fun out of that joke with the punchline: "And here's a banana for your monkey!"
jeezus. how disgustingly self-serving. it's not cute, it's not quaint. it is another revolting example of our consumeristic culture- my kid moved away so i bought a fucking monkey to put clothes on.
use your time and resources on something that actually matters.
keep it up. I think he's getting mad.
http://members.aol.com/aaffstew/images/evil_monkey_301.gif
I still want a pygmy mammoth.
People who are into pets or hobbies that I find distasteful are just plain WRONG!
working on it
http://discovermagazine.com/1999/apr/cover
These are not domestic animals, Forgeweld. They will never really be domestic animals, no matter how adorable their outfits are. They're dangerous and unpredictable, and they're inevitably living stunted, physically restricted, abnormal, and usually un-social lives in order to meet a completely fabricated "need" in some selfish person's life. There's a lot of evidence that cats and dogs may have more or less domesticated themselves ... that has never happened with a species of primate. I have no problem vewing keeping monkeys as pets as wrong.
On the other hand, fixating on them (or those creepy dolls) as replacement or substitute children is more sad than wrong.
Thank you Forgeweld, for taking the words right out of my mouth. The amount of judgment heaped on this woman by you folks is unbelievable. Looks like they love their monkey kid and I hardly think the monkey is suffering.
Stupid monkeys.
The big pink female monkey in that video is doing it wrong.
Awwww. I watched the whole video hoping they had taught the monkey to speak or read or something you do while raising human children. From what I saw she just keeps an over-pampered pet. Did she keep her real kids on a leash?
Has the monkey had its teeth removed? They do do that don't they?
#37: that comment could apply equally well to either of the primate species in question.
Seemed like fun until I woke up one morning with my fingers eaten off.
For people with the money to acquire them, monkeys can be just like children, children you ripped from the arms of their darted and most probably killed parents, children that are fun to dress up like dolls until they have to strength and will to displease you.
I feel bad for the monkeys, but at least the powerful people aren't /outright/ directly stealing children from aboriginal/black/Asian people anymore.
Crunchbird: There's a lot of evidence that cats and dogs may have more or less domesticated themselves ... that has never happened with a species of primate.
Except for us, dude!
I did PR for Sea World for two years and I can tell you that the biggest problem with the majority of animals, including monkeys is that you CANNOT POTTY TRAIN THEM. They will crap anywhere and everywhere at will. Nature dictates this because they area meant to spread seeds.
The only thing you can do is toss a diaper on them and hope they don't take it off over and over again. Really, who wants a "kid" that you will be having to change diapers on and wipe it's ass for it's whole life?
Monkeys make horrible pets. Get a dog or a cat.