Man who stole 40,000 hotel coat-hangers makes mockery of his trial
Judge: I think Mr Chrysler is running rings round you already. I would try a new line of attack if I were you.Link (Thanks, Marilyn!)Counsel: Thank you, m’lud.
Chrysler: And thank you from ME, m’lud. It’s nice to be appreciated.
Judge: Shut up, witness.
Chrysler: Willingly, m’lud. It is a pleasure to be told to shut up by you. For you, I would…
Judge: Shut up, witness. Carry on, Mr Lovelace.
Counsel: Now, Mr Chrysler - for let us assume that that is your name - you are accused of purloining in excess of 40,000 hotel coat hangers.
...
Counsel: Are you seriously suggesting that there are people who prefer hotel life to home life?
Chrysler: Certainly. A lot of businessmen would never go home if they had the chance. So when they get home they like to recreate the hotel experience in their own house. Many of my clients have their own mini-bars in their bedrooms. They have TV sets at the end of the bed on a raised shelf, often with an adult sex channel on it. All their bathroom products come in wrappers and are thrown away each day. I have even known people in their own home put out “Do Not Disturb” notices on the door of their own bedroom.
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I went with a college friend to his parents' house to stay the night and meet his family, and he led me and my suitcase to his old childhood room. But it didn't look like a childhood room -- I noticed that it was, uh, decorated like a hotel?
Apparently, my friend had been filching things from hotel nightstands and bathrooms for years and years. He explained: His mom discovered his stash of hotel accoutrement and, one winter break in college, when my friend returned to his childhood room, he discovered his mom had 'converted' it to a 'hotel room'. Yeah, just to teach him a lesson, just to show him.
True story.
Too bad the story isn't complete.
Hilarious, but likely a creation of the wonderful (and departed) Miles Kington:
http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/miles-kington/high-court-hangups-747313.html
Jennfrank, that's HILARIOUS!
As suggested previously, this is fiction written by Miles Kington.
I've done the Do Not Disturb sign thing at home, with a pilfered hotel sign.
Guilty. :)
Actually my wife thought is was very cute and we still have the thing stashed somewhere.
Sounds a lot like A.P. Herbert's Misleading Cases: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A._P._Herbert#.22Misleading_Cases.22
This is fiction. A simple google says as much.
Everything that I'm finding points to this being a work of humorous fiction. Still funny as hell though.
clearly from the lost Python Papers
It's also a lot like The Goon Show - 1950s BBC Radio Humour at its finest.
(Spike Milligan + Peter Sellers = full of win)
The makers of Phoenix Wright should get on this one. I think they've got a story on their hands!
Not real! Alas, that negates my intended joke about getting a hung jury.
Thwarted!
the Goon Shows; let us bow our heads;
"The end of the Goons
Peter Sellers was the first Goon to be "deaded", as his character Bluebottle would put it, at the young age of 54 in 1980. Michael Bentine died in 1996. Harry Secombe followed five years later, much to Milligan's relief, as he didn't want Secombe to sing at his funeral (though he did anyway, through a recording).
Milligan himself passed in 2002. Two years afterwards, he (posthumously) won the right to have the words "I told you I was ill" written on his gravestone, though the church would only agree if the words were written in Irish, as Dúirt mé leat go raibh mé breoite.[26]"