Man who stole 40,000 hotel coat-hangers makes mockery of his trial

By at 3:10 am Friday, Mar 28

In this transcript from the notorious fictional trial of a British man who stole 40,000 coat hangers from hotels, the defendant, a sharp-witted loony, runs rings around the opposing counsel, making highly entertaining (and disturbing) fun of him:
Judge: I think Mr Chrysler is running rings round you already. I would try a new line of attack if I were you.

Counsel: Thank you, m’lud.

Chrysler: And thank you from ME, m’lud. It’s nice to be appreciated.

Judge: Shut up, witness.

Chrysler: Willingly, m’lud. It is a pleasure to be told to shut up by you. For you, I would…

Judge: Shut up, witness. Carry on, Mr Lovelace.

Counsel: Now, Mr Chrysler - for let us assume that that is your name - you are accused of purloining in excess of 40,000 hotel coat hangers.

...

Counsel: Are you seriously suggesting that there are people who prefer hotel life to home life?

Chrysler: Certainly. A lot of businessmen would never go home if they had the chance. So when they get home they like to recreate the hotel experience in their own house. Many of my clients have their own mini-bars in their bedrooms. They have TV sets at the end of the bed on a raised shelf, often with an adult sex channel on it. All their bathroom products come in wrappers and are thrown away each day. I have even known people in their own home put out “Do Not Disturb” notices on the door of their own bedroom.

Link (Thanks, Marilyn!)

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Cory Doctorow

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