Funny little ads from 1960s magazines
Deadlicious has a small gallery of ads from 1960s magazines, including the "full length" Vibra Finger (for massaging "soft irritated gums" only, mind you) and a "darling pet monkey" with "live delivery guaranteed" for under $20. Link (Via Eye of the Goof)
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My mom had a squirrel monkey, but you could easily buy them in 1960's San Francisco Woolworths. Everytime she would take it out of it's cage it would pee everywhere, I don't know if she even thought to get diapers. Eventually with the combination of a walk in cage in her living room and the pee habit proved to much and she donated to the SF Zoo. Jojo the squirrel monkey.
I'd pay $25 for a disease-free monkey.
I'd like to put the vibra finger in the monkey and watch it dance. Takuan, can you write a poem about that? Make it funny, I'm sick and need to laugh. Caugh!
I suspect they're referring to the "soft irritated gums" of the Vagina Dentata, Mark.
Good thing you get instructions with that thing. The monkey, I mean.
Parasites at no extra charge.
I bet all those monkeys lived long, happy lives.
If you're looking for a downer, and who's not, check out this page for more on today's pet monkey trade.
http://www.ippl.org/apr-03-23.html
Despite the sadness of the text, please note that this link is chock-full of hilarity. There are AWESOME pictures of idiots holding a monkey up to their infant. And, there's this priceless bit of information: "In December 2002 a man arriving in Los Angeles on a flight from Thailand was caught with two smuggled monkeys in his pants."
After traveling in India, I don't ever want to be within ten miles of a monkey. Those things are terrifying.
so clearly, this magazine's target market was bored housewives, right?
A girlfriend in ,um, 1960 complained bitterly to me that her last boyfriend sprung a Vibra Finger on her. 'I know I have a hard time getting off,' she said, 'but really....' What a difference Tina Brown and her crew made.
Actually, Buddy, I'm guessing you mean the Brown the Elder of the magazine world, Helen Gurley Brown. Although Tina Brown is said to have "saved" Vanity Fair in much the same way Helen Gurley Brown "saved" Cosmo back in the '60s (i.e., by tarting it up), I'd say she's had a lot less influence on the wider culture. Although, now that I think about it I'd be willing to place a lot of the blame for the current frenzied culture of non-stop simultaneous celebrity worship and destruction at Tina's feet . . .
Considering how strictly the exotic pet trade is regulated these days, and primates particularly, it's pretty amazing that you could still just buy monkeys through a magazine ad mail order a few decades ago. The fact that so few people have monkeys as pets these days despite this ready availability probably says a lot about just how difficult primates are to keep as pets.
This is actually pretty timely, since there's a Captive Primate Safety Act (summary) currently pending in the House and Senate which would pretty much completely ban interstate and foreign trade in primates as pets. Still in committee on the House side, but likely to be voted on this year.
Correct. It was HGB championing female feel-good. I goofed. Cake or Death!
The same monkey today is a bargain at $8000. You can't afford not to buy one! http://www.primatestore.com/forsale.asp
Inflation anyone?