ComplaintRemover promises to rid the Intertubes of LOLCats

The good folks at Consumerist pranked the "ComplaintRemover" service, a company that promises to game search-engines and use legal harassment to make negative remarks disappear from the net. They got a CSR on a chat line and posed as a cat-breeding site and asked for help eliminating the scourge of LOLCats -- ComplaintRemover blithely promised to get the job done.
CLIENT: How does that work? How are you able to get another company to get rid of something that's part of their business?
Kelly: we push the negative links back in serch engines
Kelly: so nobody will see that ones
CLIENT: So you like make new internets and push the bad internets down
Kelly: yes
CLIENT: My keywords are lolcats
CLIENT: I have a cat breeding business and people keep making pictures of cats with derogatory phrases on them
CLIENT: It's hampering my ability to attract new clients
Link

Discussion

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Wow. Just...wow. Purge the unclean and whatnot. This strikes me as a hilarious way to set a scary service up for failure. And I can't wait to see the caturday mafia fight back.

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Soo... does this mean it's Caturday @ BoingBoing?

Alternatively,
"I can haz lolcatz?"

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#3 posted by Takuan , March 6, 2008 9:20 AM

I am beset with lolgators, perhaps they could assist me

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So if I were to write that Complaint Remover wants to destroy public discourse (oh wait, I just did), are they going to sic themselves on Boingboing?

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"Make new internets". Good one :)

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damnit, there is coffee all over my laptop now.

and my nose

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Cstatman: you're typing with your nose?

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@ #7 - someone complained about his arms, and so complaint remover did away with them

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ComplaintRemover? What a ridiculous idea!

I think I'm going to have to ask ComplaintRemover to remove them.

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Well I wish someone /would/ get rid of LOLcats.

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I for one would contribute to a fund to pay for lolcat removal services... I just want to see what happens when they try!

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The embedded chat that comes up on their page is creeping me out. That girl keeps smiling inappropriately.

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If you go to http://www.news.com/Police-Blotter-Dark-side-of-reputation-defending-service/2100-1030_3-6194158.html you can see the owner of ComplaintRemover.com has already been in trouble with the law for sending death threats among other things. Part of the threatening letter he sent is included below. Note the similar style in poor grammar and misspellings as the CSRs Kelly and JamieB (follow the original link to consumerist).

Excerpt of death threat below:

This letter is being sent to you in the name of more than 500 businesses. No matter where you go, we will cause you a problem. Your life is in danger until you comply with our demands. This is your last warning.

Your neighbors already know about your criminal dealings and how you are making many people loose (sic) their business. You will soon be beaten to a pulp and pounced into the ground six feet under with a baseball bat and sleg (sic) hammer. You will soon be sorry not just from what I am capable of doing to you, but what other members will do as soon as they know exactly where you are. Its (sic) just a matter of time until I get to you.

Here is what you can do to save your life. But you must act imidiatly (sic). Make what ever deal it takes, you must comply.

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#14 posted by jer0me , March 6, 2008 11:49 AM

After watching the video loop of the girl on the front page, I too was transferred to "Kelly"... are we sure this mention from the OP is even legit?

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Another classy "cease and desist" letter from ComplaintRemover.com, those masters of PR:

Link.

We warned you ed magedson. Did you hear the gun shots last night? Because of you innocent people will die. Your tenants, family members and those that work with you. Think we're joking? I told you that your site will be down and it is. That is all we want and we will not hurt anyone.

If ripoff report moves again to new hosting facilities you will not like what we will do next. Your home will burn. Those around you will burn. Do not expect any help from the police.

Once you have completed with our first list we demand you remove we will give you another list on Saturday and every Saturday from this day forward and you will have 6 hours to do the same from the time we give you that list on each and every Saturday. If the Links work after the 6 there will be a man hunt for you.

We know where you shop. We know where you bank. Greenfield and Broadway, Greenfield and Main. Are we getting closer ED? What about Basha's at Higley and Brown?

Please Please PLEASE let them try sending "cease and desist" letters like this to Boing Boing and Consumerist.

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Man, I would like to get a vigilante group together to track down this vigilante group!

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#17 posted by franko , March 6, 2008 12:31 PM

oh noes! i loves da lolkittehs! pleez dont hurz dem!

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#18 posted by Anonymous , March 6, 2008 12:40 PM

CLIENT: what kind of complaint can you remove?
CLIENT: blog articles?
CLIENT: what about websites like pricegrabber and others with feedback tracking?
CLIENT: CLIENT: what kind of complaint can you remove?CLIENT: blog articles?CLIENT: what about websites like pricegrabber and others with feedback tracking?
JamieB: those too
CLIENT: I can understand about digging up articles, but how do you make bad feedback in sites like pricegrabber go away?
JamieB: of course
JamieB:
JamieB: Do you have negative info removed from Google and other search engines?
CLIENT: I have bad feedback for my product in PriceGrabber.
CLIENT: can you help removing bad feedback from my product? http://indoors.pricegrabber.com/kitchen-apparel/m/56771678/
You have been transfered to Marion.
Marion: We can remove that for you
Marion: Brazil nuts

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#19 posted by noen , March 6, 2008 1:06 PM

Thank you Christovir, that was... eye opening to say the least. Just why are these thugs are not in jail for making terroristic threats?

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#20 posted by Takuan , March 6, 2008 1:18 PM

they don't fly?

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Has anyone filed a police report if they're sending threatening letters?

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#22 posted by Takuan , March 6, 2008 2:34 PM

it's OK , they only send them to poor people

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I haz a bizness.

Noooo. They be prankin mah bizness!!!

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So now the poor site admins at LOLCats are going to have to deal with these thugs? I don't find that amusing, not a very nice prank by the "good folks" at Consumerist.

Unless I am misunderstanding something here, what has essentially happened is that LOlcats have been put into the crosshairs of this crazy threatening service? Am I missing something? Like the humor?

Why is this company still legally operating in America?

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No, they are not going after LOLcats. You have to pay them before they do anything, and they have had certainly dozens and likely hundreds of pranks in the past two days.

Regarding the sites they actually are paid to go after... Since they got in a lot of legal trouble for their previous letters, I think they will be more restrained in the future (by court order), and rely more on SEO/spamming rather than threats, though of course, they are still major league douchebags.

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Reading those letters makes me wonder if ComplaintRemover.com have anything to do with UK TV licensing.

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#27 posted by MOONBAT , March 7, 2008 6:30 AM

Smrt mv dsblng cmmnts n tht "trll" pst.

Y fckng pgs.

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@#26 - Ummm...Surely comments were disabled on that post because it was just one of Xeni's links to BBtv. Comments are always disabled on those. You really don't have to find some elitist, liberal 'groupthink' conspiracy everywhere on BB y'know.

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@Moonbat

Over-react much? Comments are not disabled, they are to be found at the original place of the post, which is Boing Boing TV. See here: http://tv.boingboing.net/2008/03/06/a-brief-history-of-i.html#comments

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#30 posted by Takuan , March 7, 2008 10:08 AM

hey Moonie!

welcome back!

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Princess Moonbat,

Terminal fail.

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#32 posted by MOONBAT , March 7, 2008 2:28 PM

Look at that. See the "anti-troll" brigade? Keep your eye on them--their behavior will tell you a few things about how groupthink works.

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Moonbat, I'm getting worried about you. Does hanging out on Boing Boing make you happy? Have you ever thought you might have more fun somewhere else?

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#34 posted by MOONBAT , March 7, 2008 5:20 PM

Gee, I don't know. I might have thought that when I explained to you exactly how group behavior on online forums works.

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Time to take a break, Moonbat.

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