TSA: laptops will stop making planes explode if you just build a bag like this one
The TSA has designed a miraculous, terrorism-proof laptop bag that will prevent planes from being exploded by word-processing. Now they want some sucker to build it for them.
• The carrying bag cannot exceed any one of the proposed dimensions – 16 inches in height, 24 inches wide and 36 inches long.Link
• The materials that make up the bag cannot degrade the quality of the X-ray image of the laptop.
• No straps, pockets, zippers, handles or closures of the bag can interfere with the image of the laptop.
• No electronics, chargers, batteries, wires, paper products, pens or other contents of the bag can shield the image of the laptop.TSA is inviting bag designers and manufacturers to come up with creative ways to meet these design requirements, but it has also suggested three concepts of its own:
• A bag that would open completely, and lie horizontally on the X-ray belt, such that one side with hold only the laptop.
• A bag that would open completely, leaving the laptop standing vertically, supported by clips.
• A bag that would pull apart in separate compartments, with one compartment containing only the laptop.
the latest
latest episodes
The missed removing casing of the laptop itself so they can get a good clean scan of your HD too.
what are the genetic engineering specs for the ideal passenger?
I've got a suggestion for the TSA: Why not go find a real job?
Even though the entirety of airport security is overzealous and ineffective, I can see how their proposed redesign makes sense from an ergonomic point of view. It seems as if someone in the TSA wanted to monkey with the end-user portion of it to speed up inspection, without touching the unassailable position of security thoroughness, no matter how ineffective the overall process really is.
24 inches wide? That ain't fitting under the seat! Probably even not in the overhead compartment.
My laptop already lives in form-fitting neoprene sleeve with no straps, pockets, zippers or handles to interfere with xrays. Yet TSA demands it be unsleeved and sent through the conveyor naked.
This proposed redesign is just another misdirection by the TSA intended to improve public opinion. The TSA has no intention of making things easier for travelers.
I think something like this already exists; it's called grocery bag.
I am SO sick of this shit.
Takuan, I had the exact same though. Perhaps the laptops themselves should include Border Control ports.
Don't x-rays go through things? How does the laptop being uncovered make any difference?
There is no link
On a slightly related note, has anyone else who uses an aluminum laptop noticed that every time you put it through the x-ray, either you or it develops enough of a static charge so that a shock happens when you reunite on the "sterile" side? Am I going to fry my motherboard this way?
OOOOh oOOOOh I got one.
How about (drumroll)
http://tbn0.google.com/images?q=tbn:aeBHZrHVNbar5M:http://www.naparecycling.com/uploads/plastic%2520bag.png
A clear plastic bag?
Re RUNASAND@11:
The link is a lie.
If architecture of airports are cathedrals of the the modern age, bag search are its modern ritual.
Sounds an awful lot like the sleeve that I already use to carry my laptop around inside my backpack. And yet I still have to remove the laptop from the sleeve for the security theater x-ray, because... why?
I fully expect to hear an answer that involves filing a 27B/6 or a TPS report or something, along with the usual nonsense about the "enemy that lurks."
Also, what's up with the "preview" function for comments here? Shouldn't there be a "post" button that appears on the preview page?
Unnecessary at this point...
I have no desire whatsoever to carry a laptop thru an airport at all anymore.
16x24x36 inches? What in the hell is this thing for? You could get, what, 40 Mac Airs in there. Is this a serious suggestion for passenger use? What the hell? There are already about 50,000 different bag designs on the market, meeting every conceivable need.
Wait til you get a load of their specification process, too. If you ever wondered about those "hundred dollar hammers", this is why. Whoever makes these is going to have to hire 50 people to serve as a compliance team. And then TSA, the only people on earth who would be interested in such a thing, will end up buying 100 million of them and storing them for eternity in a climate-controlled secure warehouse in midtown Manhattan.
I think TSA is daring us to do something about them. I fully expect to be asked to strip naked and hop around holding one of my feet in my hand while being pelted with ping pong balls the next time I fly.
Does this make you just feel sick? I am so glad that I live in a free country and not the US.
A friend of mine had an interesting experience with "TSA Approved" baggage.
He was going to Africa to do big game bowhunting. In order to comply with TSA standards, he purchased a TSA approved case for his bow — apparently, the way it works is that the flyer has a key and TSA has a master key which can open any of these cases. Upon arriving at the airport, the conversation with TSA went something like this:
TSA guy: Can you open this case?
My Friend: I though you had a key.
TSA Guy: Huh?
Friend: I bought this case specifically to comply with TSAs standards. I already had a case for my bow.
TSA Guy: Huh?
Friend: Can I see your supervisor?
Supervisor: Oh yeah, we're supposed to have keys for these...
Friend: But...
Supervisor: We never got them.
If airports were the cathedrals of the modern age(and I think we can safely say that, with the exception of Bilbao airport, they are not), we would be comprehensively screwed. It is the case, though, that politicians want to turn the whole of society into a type of airport, certainly in the UK: mad and useless security everywhere, ID out the ears, armed police proliferating, personal searches, hugely expensive food / drink / entertainment, no independent shops or thought or actions...
Should a bag like this even exist, I doubt that it would be something I'd like to put my laptop in. Also, I would expect the costs to be a bit steep.
I wonder if any of the makers out there would take a stab at something like this -- I'd love to see the rediculousness of their requirements made into a completely unusable bag. Then again, there might be some insightful designers out there.
I demand that the TSA laptop bag also have a faux gun impression.
http://www.boingboing.net/2008/03/04/bag-with-gun-shape.html#comments
Oh FFS what a CROCK.
I traveled to Norfolk from Atlanta about 2 weeks ago. After 2 hours in ATL security I was whisked through security with my clear ziplock of fluids still in the front pocket of my suitcase directly over my CPAP machine, the same machine Norfolk airport security had a fit over that I handt taken out of my bag so they could x-ray it separately. They too didnt give a flip about the baggy of said fluids that never came out of the suitcase.
The TSA is a Joke and the punchline will be a repeat of 9-11 someday I am sure.
@ #18
"I fully expect to be asked to strip naked and hop around holding one of my feet in my hand while being pelted with ping pong balls the next time I fly."
You have that dream too?
i already travel like this...somewhat.
i use a laptop sleeve (from timbuk2) that protects my laptop in my messenger bag. all i have to do to pass security check is to pull it out of my bag and lay it on xray machine.
http://www.timbuk2.com/tb2/products/laptop/classic-laptop-sleeve
Barking Spider,
You're today's Urban Dictionary Word of the Day.
I literally dread flying now, which unfortunately I have to do several times a year. I've had a nice few months off for Winter, but have to start flying again in April.
I've considered showing up at the airport in a hospital gown and flip-flops (which of-course I would STILL need to remove to be x-rayed). I'd also still need my laptop, which I sure has hell am NOT going to put in checked baggage.
I used to work for an airline and flew several times a month. I used to actually enjoy flying. Too bad it has turned into such a hassle.
"How can we make the TSA more profitable so that Democrats don't shut down our operations when they get in office?"
"Uh... sell people stuff that they have to buy so that they can get in the airport!"
You need not fear another 911. Not having anything happen does much more damage. I hear bin Laden laughing all the way here.
So wait, doesn't this list of requirements reveal the weak spots of TSA screening? Reminds me of an inverse of the "sources and methods" argument against revealing detainee interrogation techniques. That is, if you want to get something past TSA (or slow them down), just make sure your bag incorporates the problems listed above.
Remind me- who even decided that laptops were likely places for terrorists to conceal explosives in the first place? Was this back in the '80s when laptops were 45-pound monoliths and had enough interior volume to stash a few kilos of cocaine?
But what about the problem pointed out by #11 and #14? I'm curious to know where the story broke, because it wasn't at tsa.dhs.gov.
Which, by the way, has a ridiculous feature called "TSA Week at a Glance." Last week:
- 27 passengers were arrested due to suspicious behavior or fraudulent travel documents
- 24 firearms found at checkpoints
- 20 incidents that involved a checkpoint closure, terminal evacuation or sterile area breach
- 22 disruptive passengers on flights
I feel safer knowing that more people are arrested for being suspicious than are disruptive on flights.
#21: It is the case, though, that politicians want to turn the whole of society into a type of airport
+2 for Interesting and Insightful, no question about it. I like that argument a lot: airports as microcosms of society.
"A bag that has a zipper the runs around the entire circumference in three possible four dimensions or along the lines of a Mobius strip. When unzipped, the bag will cease to be leaving in its place Schrodinger's cat."
I got the answer right here:
http://www.germes-online.com/direct/dbimage/50280147/Kraft_Paper_Bags.jpg
gotta make a break-away laptop, something that disintegrates when handled
http://www.marketwire.com/mw/release.do?id=828969
special treatment for the collaborators
Screw all these paper and plastic bags you guys are recommending, clearly the ideal laptop case is an interoffice mail envelope!
Thank goodness, it's been a few days since Cory railed against the TSA...
#32 - I suspect that this comes from the era when there was a festival of "what if" thinking just after 9/11/01, remember how there was tremendous concern when trucks went missing (esp. gas/oil trucks) because terrorists could crash them into pre-schools... Think of the children! It became a form of national pastime for a while.
Ken
Still looking for the post from Preview view, just like #16 above...
Still looking for the post from Preview view, just like #16 above...
It happens occasionally, and it's lovely when it does.
@CHDUNK on #12
That static charge might come from you, rubbing your socked feet on the ground as you cross the checkpoint.
Static shocks to the case of a computer do not hurt them. The cases are an electro-magnetic [EMI] shield.
Thankfully my Eee PC can fit in a big Ziploc bag that fits these requirements quite nicely. I try to be as cooperative with the rest of my various cases and sleeves as I am with my laptop container for the sake of expedience. That's why I wear snap-off pants and go commando. They really appreciate it.
It is exactly this kind of witless impersonation of intelligence that makes TSA such a pathetic joke. Why not a similar bag into which we could place our boxcutters and liquid gels...good grief!
Or should I say "Baaaaaaah".
...just put it in a giant Ziplock baggie like everything else.
#40 I suspect that this comes from the era when there was a festival of "what if" thinking just after 9/11/01, remember how there was tremendous concern when trucks went missing (esp. gas/oil trucks) because terrorists could crash them into pre-schools... Think of the children! It became a form of national pastime for a while.
In the case of laptops I distinctly remember airport security being overly paranoid even before 9/11. In the late '90s I remember seeing people be asked to boot them up before getting through security just to be sure they weren't disguised bombs.
Since my previous comment seemed to have gotten filtered (censored?) out, i will try again.
I just love all the armchair security specialists on this blog. I know that a career in science fiction writing probably makes one supremely well qualified in the sciences behind x-ray imaging devices, composition and effects of explosives, and other aviation security matters, but bear with me for a second. Lets just assume for one second that there are well qualified engineers, chemists, and physicists working these problems. Perhaps, there is real science (not science fiction) behind some of these decisions.
Perhaps, TSA understands how much explosives it takes to take down a plane and understands the ability of xray machines to detect these explosives if they are concealed in laptops. Maybe TSA is trying to make traveling a little easier for you all by encouraging industry to develop bags that meet our imaging requirements without you having to take your computer out of the bag. Wouldnt that make sense?
I see some posts about writing your congressman to make a difference. I have an idea. Why dont you make a real difference by serving your country and actually get inside the bureaucracy and try to fix the problem. There are many people inside TSA who have other career opportunities, but decided to actually do something about the problem instead of sitting on the sidelines.
BTW, I fully believe in free speech, but vicious comments directed towards TSA workers really do not help the problem. Vicious comments cause lower morale. Lower morale causes higher level attrition. Higher levels of attrition cause more undertrained screeners to be on the line. More undertrained screeners cause poor customer service. Poor customer service causes more vicious comments. You can be part of the solution or part of the problem.
I know that a career in science fiction writing probably makes one supremely well qualified in the sciences behind x-ray imaging devices, composition and effects of explosives, and other aviation security matters, but bear with me for a second. Lets just assume for one second that there are well qualified engineers, chemists, and physicists working these problems. Perhaps, there is real science (not science fiction) behind some of these decisions.
So, you're more of a fan of fantasy.
the TSA is not repairable. If security is needed, then the TSA must be dismantled and a rational system installed. With new people.
Antinous... i am pretty sure the phDs in the national labs who are working with us are not dreaming this stuff up.
Antinous... i am pretty sure the phDs in the national labs who are working with us are not dreaming this stuff up.
Your faith is a quaint reminder of bygone days. Are they the same experts who said that there were WMDs in Iraq?
if you want people to imagine credible, exotic threats; here we are. With the added quality of living in the real world.
This is the same all over the world. A couple of years ago returning from UK to Australia the laptop stayed in the bag the whole way... right up to a transit flight in OZ...
comment number # 13 - a clear plastic bag?
this was the question I asked (after kicking up a stink about having to dig my laptop out from under numerous items after 24 hours of travel), and apparently it's not so silly an idea, but no one else had thought of it at the time. So we did all our homework, got a watertight international (PCT) patent on it and after 2 years of design and research we are hoping to have them on the shelves this year - www.carryclear.com. Hopefully TSA will approve them!!!
Comment #22 Should a bag like this even exist, I doubt that it would be something I'd like to put my laptop in. Also, I would expect the costs to be a bit steep.
We are making it as nice as possible, and it shouldn't be too pricey. :)
I wonder if any of the makers out there would take a stab at something like this -- I'd love to see the rediculousness of their requirements made into a completely unusable bag. Then again, there might be some insightful designers out there.
Hopefully we have addressed this :)
Cheers
Ceri
www.carryclear.com
This is the same all over the world. A couple of years ago returning from UK to Australia the laptop stayed in the bag the whole way... right up to a transit flight in OZ...
comment number # 13 - a clear plastic bag?
this was the question I asked (after kicking up a stink about having to dig my laptop out from under numerous items after 24 hours of travel), and apparently it's not so silly an idea, but no one else had thought of it at the time. So we did all our homework, got a watertight international (PCT) patent on it and after 2 years of design and research we are hoping to have them on the shelves this year - www.carryclear.com. Hopefully TSA will approve them!!!
Comment #22 Should a bag like this even exist, I doubt that it would be something I'd like to put my laptop in. Also, I would expect the costs to be a bit steep.
We are making it as nice as possible, and it shouldn't be too pricey. :)
I wonder if any of the makers out there would take a stab at something like this -- I'd love to see the rediculousness of their requirements made into a completely unusable bag. Then again, there might be some insightful designers out there.
Hopefully we have addressed this :)
Cheers
Ceri
www.carryclear.com
Would a fatsak meet the design requirements?
www.fatsakbags.com
It lays completely flat when opened.