Six-word memoirs by writers famous and obscure

200802141438 (UPDATE: I put the wrong timestamp on this post, so it got buried. I'm putting it back at the top of the stack, so everyone has a chance to join the fun.)

Not Quite What I Was Planning: Six-Word Memoirs by Writers Famous and Obscure, edited by Larry Smith and Rachel Fershleiser, is an anthology of several hundred six-word autobiographies. I wish all tombstones came with stories like these:

Kentucky trash heap yields unexpected flower. -- John Kurtz

Changing mind postponed demise by decades. -- Scott O'Neil

Despite disorders, jafroed jewboy gets girl. -- Michael Eisner

Didn't pull out. Downhill from there. -- Roger Daubach

Thought I would have more impact. -- Kevin Clark

Yes, you can edit my biography. -- Jimmy Wales

Must remember: people, gadgets. That order. -- Brian Lam

What's your six-word memoir? Add it to the comments. Link

Discussion

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What a waste of good words.

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At forty, you figure it out.

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I never knew what hit me.

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Acted. Like he had a life.

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Film school was a bad idea.

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Film school was a bad idea.

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Coffee, code and marijuana. Terrible lover.

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"Save me!" she begged. I couldn't.

-=-

The water's rising faster now. Goodbye.

-=-

He seemed so sweet. At first.


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Married to exwife 150 pounds ago.

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When in thought, rode a bicycle

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Thought I'd be awesome by now.

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This hurts more than I thought.

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Always cared enough to follow directions properly.

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Too bored to finish anything

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#15 posted by lf , February 14, 2008 4:30 PM

Never stopped moving until the end

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Never was any good at rules.

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I think therefore I am late

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More words! More words! What a

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Unfortunately, five words is enough.

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old too soon, smart too late (alright, not mine, but good)

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I couldn't get it to go

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Not sure, not done living yet.

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Life is a chair of bullies

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I can't in less than seven.

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Emptied by women, swimming in booze.

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Learn this one thing, it's critical,

-or-

Before I passed, I wished I'd

-or-

Take time to finish what you

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My two favourites from the article that started all this:

Margaret Atwood: "Longed for him. Got him. Shit."

Joss Whedon: "Gown removed carefully. Head less so."

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And my favorite... OK, really two for 12 words, but they could be used on their own or together:

I'm just to the good part,
Now I'll never know what happens.

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Screwed up childhood, still reliving it.

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Explosion. What awesome way to die.

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Live in hope. Die in despair.

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Really? Is that all there is?

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Live and learn; die and forget.

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oh that's what that smell was

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Abortion at 25, adoption at 40.

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That's all there is. Awesome, huh?

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Got over it. Then fun began.

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Older. No wiser. Still having fun.

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Two careers so far, still time.

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Slept by day and read all night.

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Art as life, just not mine.

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gay vegetarian librarian, wants kids/husband

hmmm, sounds more like a personals ad...

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Saw the truth, was not impressed.

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was drunk, was sober, drunk better

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it was death that killed him

sum.zero

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Never could beat Super Mario Brothers.

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Took my damn time with everything.

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It went faster than I figured.

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Wanted life to always be fair

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Fortunately this is just a dream.

There's much good in this thread.
Personal agreements go to Nonlis, Ryan,
Jaguarcy, Doctor Device, m3ch4h0m0, and Edgeplot.

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Autobiography:

My name's on Mars - Hell yes!

Biography:

Illegible microscopic scribble. Who's this chump?

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I'm making sure it never reads:

"Sat on couch a lot. Damn."

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For the halves of my life:

Always got his essays graded promptly.
Did his best writing on deadline.

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its one of two i guess:
alas, i guess i wont understand

eternity: i can see it now

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You are what life is for.

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Can't sleep, clowns will eat me.
~
What does this button do? Oh.
~
Should have bought Wal-mart, Exxon, Berkshire.
~
Packed spare parachute? Maybe next time.

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Definitely afraid of falling from heights.

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Only 10,000 more years until enlightenment!

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Hesitation took away all my chances.

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Everything all for this, I guess.

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Learned much. Never really knew anything.

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Freewill and fate always converged

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Live in hope. Die in despair.

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Pay attention, you will be tested.

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Came, saw, took lots of naps

Danced, wondered, searched, found, lost, accepted

Life takes longer than you think

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waiting for what's next.. always waiting.

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All I Need: Soap, Socks, Sandwiches.

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I told you I was sick

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conveyor or not, it takes off

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There actually is no secret sauce.

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Told you I wasn't feeling well.

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Child, Soldier, Husband, Father, next . . . death.

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Alone. Proved man IS an island

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Please, Mom, just one more game!

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Maybe I should have compromised more?

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I have never been good at math

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Dont procrastinate now - do it later.

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Provided warm lap for numerous cats

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Savored Slack.
Loved All.
Prefer myself.

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Believe mother. Toast in bathtub bad.

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before my time, by thousand years.

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Killed my god, love my humanity.

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What is there to say, really?

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Found her time to emerge amaranthine.

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Divorce almost final, things looking up.

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Very telling words, inner truths revealed.

What is this, a flash confession?

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People YES, Corporations WATCH, Exploration GO.

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Re-spawn in 3, 2, 1... Crap.

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Must I live this life alone?

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Comment number twenty-three nails it.

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This is all there is -- really.

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Reckless leaper finds soft landing.

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Did the best I could. Tired.

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Too long for me.

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Not like I planned. It's better.

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Watch me do this new trick!

-or-

Now I'll attempt the Triple Lindy...

-or-

Phooey, I hate cliff hanger endings

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I have you now!... wait, what?

{My first post! Kthxbai}

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Born
Childhood
Middle bit
...
The Future

-or-

Getting somewhere? Revisit square one, again.

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Thanks, Prem Rawat, for inner peace.

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Grow up? What? Why do that?

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It's true: everybody plays the fool.

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Struggled with depression, overcame medication stigma.

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Life, don't leave home without it.

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Don't waste it blogging. Get laid!

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Wrote everything but what I wanted.

or

Anything I could say depresses me.

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Bye, thanks for all the fish.


for Doctor Nakamats:

Floppy disk first in long string.

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with timid gumption adventures were found.

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Thought much. Accomplished little. Still happy.

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Despite warnings, never minded the gap.

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Amassed a most impressive CD collection.

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I'll just use Freddie Mercury's 6-word bigraphy:
"Singer of songs, lover of life."

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Desperate misery, but God, redeemed living.

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Had fun, tried to be good.

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He was some guy, now compost.

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These comments have jumped the shark.

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'I took an online explosives cour...'

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#117 posted by ash , February 15, 2008 12:39 PM

just drinkin, smokin, straight west coastin

(ok not my words, but appropriate anyway)

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didn't file last years tax return

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how much now do I get?

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Had all the sex I wanted

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Saw seeing, lost equilibrium redirected experiments

right about them, they're us, fuck

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#122 posted by Jeff , February 15, 2008 2:11 PM

The End Is Near. Repent Now!

Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha

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Hey, does red mean it's on?

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I can quit anytime I want

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A little dab will do you.

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#126 posted by Who , February 15, 2008 3:50 PM

Tricycles, girls, sunrises, sushi, begin again.

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#127 posted by V , February 15, 2008 3:52 PM

I thought there'd be more monkeys.

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what happens if I do this?

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you must be present to win.

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Went to Japan, never came back.

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woke up light in life out

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Roamed many countries. Like mine best.

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Act One: ADHD. Act Two: Pending.

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Stopped anthropomorphizing theists at age five.

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#135 posted by Guru , February 16, 2008 5:08 PM

Loved God, Kids, Wife, work. Happiness!

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can i haz wun moar go?

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"Energy equals mass times squared lightspeed" - A. Einstein

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living as long as life permits

or

never really worried, resting in peace

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What? Me flunk English? That's unpossible!

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Died with most toys. I win.

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Cancer. Wish I had more time...

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That was fun! What happens now?

or

Played Hide and Seek with God

or

Old too soon, wise too late

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This cemetery is just wasted space.