Six-word memoirs by writers famous and obscure

(UPDATE: I put the wrong timestamp on this post, so it got buried. I'm putting it back at the top of the stack, so everyone has a chance to join the fun.)

Not Quite What I Was Planning: Six-Word Memoirs by Writers Famous and Obscure, edited by Larry Smith and Rachel Fershleiser, is an anthology of several hundred six-word autobiographies. I wish all tombstones came with stories like these:

Kentucky trash heap yields unexpected flower. -- John Kurtz

Changing mind postponed demise by decades. -- Scott O'Neil

Despite disorders, jafroed jewboy gets girl. -- Michael Eisner

Didn't pull out. Downhill from there. -- Roger Daubach

Thought I would have more impact. -- Kevin Clark

Yes, you can edit my biography. -- Jimmy Wales

Must remember: people, gadgets. That order. -- Brian Lam

What's your six-word memoir? Add it to the comments. Link

[#1 posted by Jeff, February 14, 2008 2:49 PM]

What a waste of good words.

[#2 posted by Nobilis, February 14, 2008 3:11 PM]

At forty, you figure it out.

[#3 posted by mkhobson, February 14, 2008 3:39 PM]

I never knew what hit me.

[#4 posted by adamblast, February 14, 2008 3:42 PM]

Acted. Like he had a life.

[#5 posted by thesarahbird, February 14, 2008 3:44 PM]

Film school was a bad idea.

[#6 posted by thesarahbird, February 14, 2008 3:46 PM]

Film school was a bad idea.

[#7 posted by phill, February 14, 2008 3:53 PM]

Coffee, code and marijuana. Terrible lover.

[#8 posted by tinyghosts, February 14, 2008 3:54 PM]

"Save me!" she begged. I couldn't.

-=-

The water's rising faster now. Goodbye.

-=-

He seemed so sweet. At first.

[#9 posted by Goob, February 14, 2008 3:57 PM]

Married to exwife 150 pounds ago.

[#10 posted by whenindeepshit, February 14, 2008 4:00 PM]

When in thought, rode a bicycle

[#11 posted by ryan, February 14, 2008 4:01 PM]

Thought I'd be awesome by now.

[#12 posted by Chickie Pants, February 14, 2008 4:06 PM]

This hurts more than I thought.

[#13 posted by Barkalounger, February 14, 2008 4:13 PM]

Always cared enough to follow directions properly.

[#14 posted by jaguarcy, February 14, 2008 4:14 PM]

Too bored to finish anything

[#15 posted by lf, February 14, 2008 4:30 PM]

Never stopped moving until the end

[#16 posted by Cazart, February 14, 2008 4:32 PM]

Never was any good at rules.

[#17 posted by Hawkman, February 14, 2008 4:39 PM]

I think therefore I am late

[#18 posted by andyhavens, February 14, 2008 4:41 PM]

More words! More words! What a

[#19 posted by tom s, February 14, 2008 4:50 PM]

Unfortunately, five words is enough.

[#20 posted by Takuan, February 14, 2008 5:05 PM]

old too soon, smart too late (alright, not mine, but good)

[#21 posted by guru dorian verve fone, February 14, 2008 5:07 PM]

Who am I to say no?

[#22 posted by obdan, February 14, 2008 5:36 PM]

I couldn't get it to go

[#23 posted by Doctor Device, February 14, 2008 5:41 PM]

Not sure, not done living yet.

[#24 posted by zhivago, February 14, 2008 5:47 PM]

Life is a chair of bullies

[#25 posted by Chinpokomon, February 14, 2008 6:02 PM]

I can't in less than seven.

[#26 posted by potatocube, February 14, 2008 6:07 PM]

Emptied by women, swimming in booze.

[#27 posted by Chinpokomon, February 14, 2008 6:10 PM]

Learn this one thing, it's critical,

-or-

Before I passed, I wished I'd

-or-

Take time to finish what you

[#28 posted by bxrguy, February 14, 2008 6:11 PM]

My two favourites from the article that started all this:

Margaret Atwood: "Longed for him. Got him. Shit."

Joss Whedon: "Gown removed carefully. Head less so."

[#29 posted by Chinpokomon, February 14, 2008 6:14 PM]

And my favorite... OK, really two for 12 words, but they could be used on their own or together:

I'm just to the good part,
Now I'll never know what happens.

[#30 posted by m3ch4h0m0, February 14, 2008 6:19 PM]

Screwed up childhood, still reliving it.

[#31 posted by phill, February 14, 2008 6:43 PM]

Explosion. What awesome way to die.

[#32 posted by Rinchen, February 14, 2008 7:08 PM]

Live in hope. Die in despair.

[#33 posted by zeman, February 14, 2008 7:15 PM]

Really? Is that all there is?

[#34 posted by RuTemple, February 14, 2008 7:20 PM]

Live and learn; die and forget.

[#35 posted by sebastia, February 14, 2008 7:34 PM]

oh that's what that smell was

[#36 posted by cuteoverlord, February 14, 2008 7:53 PM]

Abortion at 25, adoption at 40.

[#37 posted by dculberson, February 14, 2008 7:57 PM]

That's all there is. Awesome, huh?

[#38 posted by elizavery, February 14, 2008 7:57 PM]

Got over it. Then fun began.

[#39 posted by joiwind, February 14, 2008 8:02 PM]

Older. No wiser. Still having fun.

[#40 posted by sswaan, February 14, 2008 8:07 PM]

Two careers so far, still time.

[#41 posted by edgeplot, February 14, 2008 8:14 PM]

Slept by day and read all night.

[#42 posted by xadrian, February 14, 2008 8:35 PM]

Art as life, just not mine.

[#43 posted by Chocolatey Shatner, February 14, 2008 8:55 PM]

gay vegetarian librarian, wants kids/husband

hmmm, sounds more like a personals ad...

[#44 posted by jody, February 14, 2008 8:56 PM]

Saw the truth, was not impressed.

[#45 posted by Takuan, February 14, 2008 8:59 PM]

was drunk, was sober, drunk better

[#46 posted by sum.zero, February 14, 2008 9:00 PM]

it was death that killed him

sum.zero

[#47 posted by Ape Lad, February 14, 2008 9:01 PM]

Never could beat Super Mario Brothers.

[#48 posted by NarbYehoot, February 14, 2008 9:04 PM]

Took my damn time with everything.

[#49 posted by Mark Frauenfelder, February 14, 2008 9:05 PM]

It went faster than I figured.

[#50 posted by ROSSINDETROIT, February 14, 2008 9:10 PM]

Wanted life to always be fair

[#51 posted by Registrado, February 14, 2008 9:16 PM]

Fortunately this is just a dream.

There's much good in this thread.
Personal agreements go to Nonlis, Ryan,
Jaguarcy, Doctor Device, m3ch4h0m0, and Edgeplot.

[#52 posted by LOLcat Stevens, February 14, 2008 9:16 PM]

Autobiography:

My name's on Mars - Hell yes!

Biography:

Illegible microscopic scribble. Who's this chump?

[#53 posted by Umpqua, February 14, 2008 9:18 PM]

I'm making sure it never reads:

"Sat on couch a lot. Damn."

[#54 posted by Russell Letson, February 14, 2008 9:28 PM]

For the halves of my life:

Always got his essays graded promptly.
Did his best writing on deadline.

[#55 posted by modati, February 14, 2008 9:30 PM]

its one of two i guess:
alas, i guess i wont understand

eternity: i can see it now

[#56 posted by yatima, February 14, 2008 9:38 PM]

You are what life is for.

[#57 posted by certron, February 14, 2008 9:39 PM]

Can't sleep, clowns will eat me.
~
What does this button do? Oh.
~
Should have bought Wal-mart, Exxon, Berkshire.
~
Packed spare parachute? Maybe next time.

[#58 posted by themindfantastic, February 14, 2008 9:44 PM]

Definitely afraid of falling from heights.

[#59 posted by starcadia, February 14, 2008 9:53 PM]

Only 10,000 more years until enlightenment!

[#60 posted by windybt, February 14, 2008 9:56 PM]

Hesitation took away all my chances.

[#61 posted by JY Yang, February 14, 2008 9:59 PM]

Everything all for this, I guess.

[#62 posted by lmegliol, February 14, 2008 10:07 PM]

Learned much. Never really knew anything.

[#63 posted by Rossifumi, February 14, 2008 10:21 PM]

Freewill and fate always converged

[#64 posted by Rinchen, February 14, 2008 10:21 PM]

Live in hope. Die in despair.

[#65 posted by Hell's Donut House, February 14, 2008 10:38 PM]

Pay attention, you will be tested.

[#66 posted by jcartan, February 14, 2008 10:48 PM]

Came, saw, took lots of naps

Danced, wondered, searched, found, lost, accepted

Life takes longer than you think

[#67 posted by cassiet, February 14, 2008 10:49 PM]

waiting for what's next.. always waiting.

[#68 posted by Zuty, February 14, 2008 11:06 PM]

All I Need: Soap, Socks, Sandwiches.

[#69 posted by Takuan, February 14, 2008 11:18 PM]

I told you I was sick

[#70 posted by Takuan, February 14, 2008 11:19 PM]

conveyor or not, it takes off

[#71 posted by triakter, February 14, 2008 11:41 PM]

There actually is no secret sauce.

[#72 posted by Fnarf, February 14, 2008 11:50 PM]

Told you I wasn't feeling well.

[#73 posted by tempophage, February 15, 2008 12:01 AM]

Child, Soldier, Husband, Father, next . . . death.

[#74 posted by Alan, February 15, 2008 12:06 AM]

Alone. Proved man IS an island

[#75 posted by wildweasel, February 15, 2008 12:15 AM]

Please, Mom, just one more game!

[#76 posted by o0oo00o0o, February 15, 2008 12:31 AM]

Maybe I should have compromised more?

[#77 posted by luistxo, February 15, 2008 12:43 AM]

I have never been good at math

[#78 posted by reliable, February 15, 2008 1:03 AM]

Dont procrastinate now - do it later.

[#79 posted by jcartan, February 15, 2008 1:13 AM]

Provided warm lap for numerous cats

[#80 posted by Nato Welch, February 15, 2008 1:28 AM]

Savored Slack.
Loved All.
Prefer myself.

[#81 posted by robin_hood, February 15, 2008 2:07 AM]

Believe mother. Toast in bathtub bad.

[#82 posted by mesrop, February 15, 2008 2:44 AM]

before my time, by thousand years.

[#83 posted by mesrop, February 15, 2008 2:47 AM]

Killed my god, love my humanity.

[#84 posted by jcartan, February 15, 2008 2:57 AM]

What is there to say, really?

[#85 posted by Kristi, February 15, 2008 3:18 AM]

Found her time to emerge amaranthine.

[#86 posted by WardenStreets, February 15, 2008 3:30 AM]

Divorce almost final, things looking up.

[#87 posted by Jeff, February 15, 2008 3:58 AM]

Very telling words, inner truths revealed.

What is this, a flash confession?

[#88 posted by Adventure Books of Seattle, February 15, 2008 4:15 AM]

People YES, Corporations WATCH, Exploration GO.

[#89 posted by DaedalusAloft, February 15, 2008 4:27 AM]

Re-spawn in 3, 2, 1... Crap.

[#90 posted by fnord, February 15, 2008 5:05 AM]

Must I live this life alone?

[#91 posted by Cheqyr, February 15, 2008 5:17 AM]

Comment number twenty-three nails it.

[#92 posted by wayn3w, February 15, 2008 5:45 AM]

This is all there is -- really.

[#93 posted by raisedbywolves, February 15, 2008 5:49 AM]

Reckless leaper finds soft landing.

[#94 posted by faroutfive, February 15, 2008 6:05 AM]

Did the best I could. Tired.

[#95 posted by Eduardo, February 15, 2008 6:31 AM]

Too long for me.

[#96 posted by Abbey, February 15, 2008 6:58 AM]

Not like I planned. It's better.

[#97 posted by Alpinwolf, February 15, 2008 7:04 AM]

Watch me do this new trick!

-or-

Now I'll attempt the Triple Lindy...

-or-

Phooey, I hate cliff hanger endings

-or-

I have you now!... wait, what?

{My first post! Kthxbai}

[#98 posted by Jack Caesar, February 15, 2008 7:15 AM]

Born
Childhood
Middle bit
...
The Future

-or-

Getting somewhere? Revisit square one, again.

[#99 posted by InnerPeacenik, February 15, 2008 7:22 AM]

Thanks, Prem Rawat, for inner peace.

[#100 posted by legotech, February 15, 2008 7:24 AM]

Grow up? What? Why do that?

[#101 posted by Halloween Jack, February 15, 2008 7:53 AM]

It's true: everybody plays the fool.

[#102 posted by Worthydog, February 15, 2008 8:00 AM]

Struggled with depression, overcame medication stigma.

[#103 posted by Rossifumi, February 15, 2008 8:09 AM]

Life, don't leave home without it.

[#104 posted by whenindeepshit, February 15, 2008 8:10 AM]

Don't waste it blogging. Get laid!

[#105 posted by License Farm, February 15, 2008 8:32 AM]

Wrote everything but what I wanted.

or

Anything I could say depresses me.

[#106 posted by Rickmccl, February 15, 2008 8:51 AM]

Bye, thanks for all the fish.

for Doctor Nakamats:

Floppy disk first in long string.

[#107 posted by sphenga, February 15, 2008 9:13 AM]

with timid gumption adventures were found.

[#108 posted by Spinningmind, February 15, 2008 9:16 AM]

Thought much. Accomplished little. Still happy.

[#109 posted by joanna, February 15, 2008 9:29 AM]

Despite warnings, never minded the gap.

[#110 posted by mikeout, February 15, 2008 10:09 AM]

Amassed a most impressive CD collection.

[#111 posted by Ian70, February 15, 2008 10:15 AM]

I'll just use Freddie Mercury's 6-word bigraphy:
"Singer of songs, lover of life."

[#112 posted by plousia, February 15, 2008 10:17 AM]

Desperate misery, but God, redeemed living.

[#113 posted by korrontean, February 15, 2008 10:33 AM]

Had fun, tried to be good.

[#114 posted by ill lich, February 15, 2008 10:56 AM]

He was some guy, now compost.

[#115 posted by aluxeterna, February 15, 2008 11:03 AM]

These comments have jumped the shark.

[#116 posted by Adventure Books of Seattle, February 15, 2008 12:04 PM]

'I took an online explosives cour...'

[#117 posted by ash, February 15, 2008 12:39 PM]

just drinkin, smokin, straight west coastin

(ok not my words, but appropriate anyway)

[#118 posted by Takuan, February 15, 2008 12:47 PM]

didn't file last years tax return

[#119 posted by morestuff, February 15, 2008 12:57 PM]

how much now do I get?

[#120 posted by Machinehead, February 15, 2008 1:18 PM]

Had all the sex I wanted

[#121 posted by mathus, February 15, 2008 1:55 PM]

Saw seeing, lost equilibrium redirected experiments

right about them, they're us, fuck

[#122 posted by Jeff, February 15, 2008 2:11 PM]

The End Is Near. Repent Now!

Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha

[#123 posted by The Thompson Five, February 15, 2008 2:58 PM]

Hey, does red mean it's on?

[#124 posted by Takuan, February 15, 2008 3:19 PM]

I can quit anytime I want

[#125 posted by mdhatter, February 15, 2008 3:41 PM]

A little dab will do you.

[#126 posted by Who, February 15, 2008 3:50 PM]

Tricycles, girls, sunrises, sushi, begin again.

[#127 posted by V, February 15, 2008 3:52 PM]

I thought there'd be more monkeys.

[#128 posted by morestuff, February 15, 2008 5:25 PM]

what happens if I do this?

[#129 posted by morestuff, February 15, 2008 5:37 PM]

you must be present to win.

[#130 posted by stuartcw, February 15, 2008 5:53 PM]

Went to Japan, never came back.

[#131 posted by Dave Hecht, February 15, 2008 9:28 PM]

woke up light in life out

[#132 posted by Van Diemen, February 15, 2008 11:47 PM]

Roamed many countries. Like mine best.

[#133 posted by PeaceLove, February 16, 2008 3:49 PM]

Act One: ADHD. Act Two: Pending.

[#134 posted by CrossCompiler, February 16, 2008 4:50 PM]

Stopped anthropomorphizing theists at age five.

[#135 posted by Guru, February 16, 2008 5:08 PM]

Loved God, Kids, Wife, work. Happiness!

[#136 posted by arkizzle / Moderator, February 16, 2008 8:33 PM]

can i haz wun moar go?

[#137 posted by evener , February 17, 2008 2:45 AM]

"Energy equals mass times squared lightspeed" - A. Einstein

[#138 posted by insomma, February 17, 2008 5:23 AM]

living as long as life permits

or

never really worried, resting in peace

[#139 posted by carlton, February 17, 2008 6:56 AM]

What? Me flunk English? That's unpossible!

[#140 posted by Adam Keck, February 17, 2008 7:13 AM]

Died with most toys. I win.

[#141 posted by Adam Keck, February 17, 2008 7:16 AM]

Cancer. Wish I had more time...

[#142 posted by InnerPeacenik, February 17, 2008 7:20 AM]

That was fun! What happens now?

or

Played Hide and Seek with God

or

Old too soon, wise too late

[#143 posted by ill lich, February 17, 2008 12:07 PM]

This cemetery is just wasted space.

[#144 posted by palindromic, February 17, 2008 6:13 PM]

Born, lived, exhaled, recursed, trepidation and?

[#145 posted by Takuan, February 17, 2008 6:49 PM]

You! Quit standing on my grave!

[#146 posted by megachan, February 18, 2008 12:43 PM]

Try it, you might like it!

[#147 posted by Wordweaverlynn, February 19, 2008 6:22 AM]

Stories saved me, so I write.

Oh, how I loved the world.

[#148 posted by Maxopera, February 20, 2008 7:24 AM]

I came. I saw. I plagiarized.

[#149 posted by Sweet Petunia, February 26, 2008 3:07 PM]

Stay out of the mud, hon.

[#150 posted by DRensin, February 28, 2008 9:17 AM]

Been there. Done that. What's next?

[#151 posted by franklymydear, March 9, 2008 1:45 AM]

Craving order, loving chaos, making due.

[#152 posted by franklymydear, March 9, 2008 1:50 AM]

It's a dog's life. If only!

[#153 posted by rEVDAVID, April 15, 2008 12:25 AM]

A tourist returned home as carry on.

[#154 posted by Ashe, May 18, 2008 6:28 AM]

Was born, I lived, now dead...

Now this is jolly good living...

Forgot to look before I leapt...

Was an oxygen thief. Finally caught

That last potion did not work...

Failed at life, suceeded in death...

[#155 posted by Ashe, May 18, 2008 6:32 AM]

She did me in I tell ya!

My death, a left-wing conspiracy...

[#156 posted by A Salty Dog, May 23, 2008 4:13 PM]

life scientist: experimented with everything (period)

[#157 posted by Tenn, May 23, 2008 4:32 PM]

Despite warnings, walked into the light.
We'll see who's right now, Christianity!
Would be, she is, she was.
You kids get off my crypt!
I'm six feet closer to China!
Warning. Don't hold beer and watch.

[#158 posted by Tenn, May 23, 2008 4:37 PM]

Was late to her own funeral.

[#159 posted by johnnycomelately, June 22, 2008 2:42 PM]

I lost, feared loss, lost everything.
___________

...then I thought I might escape...
____________

I knew she had a husband?

[#160 posted by darlinwench, September 1, 2008 11:23 PM]

This is your life- you're lost.

[#161 posted by AlamoTippery, September 23, 2008 10:28 PM]

A crooked past straightens my future

[#162 posted by Takuan, September 23, 2008 10:36 PM]

like a band of unwavering light

[#163 posted by eustace, September 23, 2008 11:30 PM]

Love fast, regret a long time.

[#164 posted by nicolebee, September 24, 2008 6:46 PM]

An open mind, an open heart.

[#165 posted by Anonymous, September 24, 2008 8:55 PM]

College sucks. Classes fine. Friends insincere.

[#166 posted by afrostygirl, September 26, 2008 11:24 PM]

Always figuring it out too late.

[#167 posted by kmiranda, September 28, 2008 2:56 PM]

Without love, exists life without happiness

[#168 posted by gurpreet singh eng101a, September 28, 2008 8:17 PM]

Should’ve “went” to school… but didn’t.

[#169 posted by Tenn, September 28, 2008 8:32 PM]

Wished upon stars- found them planets.

[#170 posted by lors15, September 29, 2008 8:01 PM]

Silence isn't golden; need my voice.

[#171 posted by annsoforth, October 13, 2008 3:12 PM]

Love and marriage;
Death and taxes.

Rising tide
Didn't lift
This ship

[#172 posted by Takuan, October 13, 2008 3:26 PM]

lived to see a black president

[#173 posted by anthony, October 13, 2008 3:32 PM]

sweeter and simpler than you'd expect.

[#174 posted by anthony, October 13, 2008 3:39 PM]

All wounds were slight save one?

[#175 posted by Antinous / Moderator, October 13, 2008 3:42 PM]

Guns and drag don't mix well.

[#176 posted by Anonymous, October 16, 2008 11:34 PM]

born a patriot, died knowing better

[#177 posted by LucyLee, October 20, 2008 10:55 AM]

silent screams drown out screaming silence

[#178 posted by Anonymous, November 8, 2008 10:59 AM]

Everything done will mean more someday

[#179 posted by Anonymous, November 13, 2008 5:08 PM]

Disappointment should not be anything new

[#180 posted by Anonymous, November 19, 2008 2:52 PM]

These violent delights have violent ends.

[#181 posted by Anonymous, December 4, 2008 8:41 PM]

Are you going to eat that?

[#182 posted by Takuan, December 4, 2008 9:17 PM]

I'm off to kick god's ass

[#183 posted by minTphresh, December 4, 2008 9:38 PM]

never had much use for it.

[#184 posted by minTphresh, December 4, 2008 9:47 PM]

a side note in art history.

[#185 posted by Anonymous, December 8, 2008 4:35 PM]

A Happening waiting for an accident. --Tristan MacAvery

[#186 posted by garymoos, January 24, 2009 3:36 PM]

Never recovered from a happy childhood.

[#187 posted by mercedes, February 4, 2009 2:18 PM]

This time is THE. LAST. TIME.

[#188 posted by Anonymous, February 5, 2009 4:12 PM]

Not good at following instructions

[#189 posted by Anonymous, February 26, 2009 12:46 PM]

Ruth fills empty void: Wife disagree's

read this somewhere, a guy was describing his affair

[#190 posted by Anonymous, March 22, 2009 12:40 PM]

Isn't slowed by hesitation; lives on.

[#191 posted by xesnrocinu, March 23, 2009 6:23 PM]

material possession is not human progression

[#192 posted by xesnrocinu, March 23, 2009 7:13 PM]

i just thought of more, and i do realize that wasn't really a direct memoir.

i'm proud i stopped shaving

and

not too cool to have fun.

:)

[#193 posted by Anonymous, March 25, 2009 4:47 PM]

Rules are meant to be broken

[#194 posted by Anonymous, April 5, 2009 5:01 AM]

cant...stop...reading...boing...boing...comments

[#195 posted by Anonymous, April 11, 2009 6:48 PM]

Brevity is not my strong suit.

[#196 posted by Anonymous, May 7, 2009 8:46 PM]

Wake me up for my graduation.

[#197 posted by Anonymous, May 8, 2009 7:43 PM]

life of the party, designated driver.

[#198 posted by Anonymous, May 18, 2009 12:49 PM]

lonely. junk. Christ. adoption. joy. eternity.

[#199 posted by Anonymous, May 24, 2009 2:56 AM]

it's just you and me world.....

[#200 posted by Anonymous, May 28, 2009 11:49 AM]

that crazy kid on the roof
frootloop in a bowl of cheerios
scared of heights and still climbing
go green, live large, then die

[#201 posted by Anonymous, May 28, 2009 2:59 PM]

Born mature... went downhill from there

[#202 posted by William Cline, June 2, 2009 8:22 PM]

No mom, no dad, just me,