Six-word memoirs by writers famous and obscure

(UPDATE: I put the wrong timestamp on this post, so it got buried. I'm putting it back at the top of the stack, so everyone has a chance to join the fun.)

Not Quite What I Was Planning: Six-Word Memoirs by Writers Famous and Obscure, edited by Larry Smith and Rachel Fershleiser, is an anthology of several hundred six-word autobiographies. I wish all tombstones came with stories like these:

Kentucky trash heap yields unexpected flower. -- John Kurtz

Changing mind postponed demise by decades. -- Scott O'Neil

Despite disorders, jafroed jewboy gets girl. -- Michael Eisner

Didn't pull out. Downhill from there. -- Roger Daubach

Thought I would have more impact. -- Kevin Clark

Yes, you can edit my biography. -- Jimmy Wales

Must remember: people, gadgets. That order. -- Brian Lam

What's your six-word memoir? Add it to the comments. Link

[#1 posted by Jeff , February 14, 2008 2:49 PM]

What a waste of good words.

[#2 posted by Nobilis , February 14, 2008 3:11 PM]

At forty, you figure it out.

[#3 posted by mkhobson , February 14, 2008 3:39 PM]

I never knew what hit me.

[#4 posted by adamblast , February 14, 2008 3:42 PM]

Acted. Like he had a life.

[#5 posted by thesarahbird , February 14, 2008 3:44 PM]

Film school was a bad idea.

[#6 posted by thesarahbird , February 14, 2008 3:46 PM]

Film school was a bad idea.

[#7 posted by phill , February 14, 2008 3:53 PM]

Coffee, code and marijuana. Terrible lover.

[#8 posted by tinyghosts , February 14, 2008 3:54 PM]

"Save me!" she begged. I couldn't.

-=-

The water's rising faster now. Goodbye.

-=-

He seemed so sweet. At first.

[#9 posted by Goob , February 14, 2008 3:57 PM]

Married to exwife 150 pounds ago.

[#10 posted by whenindeepshit , February 14, 2008 4:00 PM]

When in thought, rode a bicycle

[#11 posted by ryan , February 14, 2008 4:01 PM]

Thought I'd be awesome by now.

[#12 posted by Chickie Pants , February 14, 2008 4:06 PM]

This hurts more than I thought.

[#13 posted by Barkalounger , February 14, 2008 4:13 PM]

Always cared enough to follow directions properly.

[#14 posted by jaguarcy , February 14, 2008 4:14 PM]

Too bored to finish anything

[#15 posted by lf , February 14, 2008 4:30 PM]

Never stopped moving until the end

[#16 posted by Cazart , February 14, 2008 4:32 PM]

Never was any good at rules.

[#17 posted by Hawkman , February 14, 2008 4:39 PM]

I think therefore I am late

[#18 posted by andyhavens , February 14, 2008 4:41 PM]

More words! More words! What a

[#19 posted by tom s , February 14, 2008 4:50 PM]

Unfortunately, five words is enough.

[#20 posted by Takuan , February 14, 2008 5:05 PM]

old too soon, smart too late (alright, not mine, but good)

[#21 posted by guru dorian verve fone , February 14, 2008 5:07 PM]

Who am I to say no?

[#22 posted by obdan , February 14, 2008 5:36 PM]

I couldn't get it to go

[#23 posted by Doctor Device , February 14, 2008 5:41 PM]

Not sure, not done living yet.

[#24 posted by zhivago , February 14, 2008 5:47 PM]

Life is a chair of bullies

[#25 posted by Chinpokomon , February 14, 2008 6:02 PM]

I can't in less than seven.

[#26 posted by potatocube , February 14, 2008 6:07 PM]

Emptied by women, swimming in booze.

[#27 posted by Chinpokomon , February 14, 2008 6:10 PM]

Learn this one thing, it's critical,

-or-

Before I passed, I wished I'd

-or-

Take time to finish what you

[#28 posted by bxrguy , February 14, 2008 6:11 PM]

My two favourites from the article that started all this:

Margaret Atwood: "Longed for him. Got him. Shit."

Joss Whedon: "Gown removed carefully. Head less so."

[#29 posted by Chinpokomon , February 14, 2008 6:14 PM]

And my favorite... OK, really two for 12 words, but they could be used on their own or together:

I'm just to the good part,
Now I'll never know what happens.

[#30 posted by m3ch4h0m0 , February 14, 2008 6:19 PM]

Screwed up childhood, still reliving it.

[#31 posted by phill , February 14, 2008 6:43 PM]

Explosion. What awesome way to die.

[#32 posted by Rinchen , February 14, 2008 7:08 PM]

Live in hope. Die in despair.

[#33 posted by zeman , February 14, 2008 7:15 PM]

Really? Is that all there is?

[#34 posted by RuTemple , February 14, 2008 7:20 PM]

Live and learn; die and forget.

[#35 posted by sebastia , February 14, 2008 7:34 PM]

oh that's what that smell was

[#36 posted by cuteoverlord , February 14, 2008 7:53 PM]

Abortion at 25, adoption at 40.

[#37 posted by dculberson , February 14, 2008 7:57 PM]

That's all there is. Awesome, huh?

[#38 posted by elizavery , February 14, 2008 7:57 PM]

Got over it. Then fun began.

[#39 posted by joiwind , February 14, 2008 8:02 PM]

Older. No wiser. Still having fun.

[#40 posted by sswaan , February 14, 2008 8:07 PM]

Two careers so far, still time.

[#41 posted by edgeplot , February 14, 2008 8:14 PM]

Slept by day and read all night.

[#42 posted by xadrian , February 14, 2008 8:35 PM]

Art as life, just not mine.

[#43 posted by Chocolatey Shatner , February 14, 2008 8:55 PM]

gay vegetarian librarian, wants kids/husband

hmmm, sounds more like a personals ad...

[#44 posted by jody , February 14, 2008 8:56 PM]

Saw the truth, was not impressed.

[#45 posted by Takuan , February 14, 2008 8:59 PM]

was drunk, was sober, drunk better

[#46 posted by sum.zero , February 14, 2008 9:00 PM]

it was death that killed him

sum.zero

[#47 posted by Ape Lad , February 14, 2008 9:01 PM]

Never could beat Super Mario Brothers.

[#48 posted by NarbYehoot , February 14, 2008 9:04 PM]

Took my damn time with everything.

[#49 posted by Mark Frauenfelder , February 14, 2008 9:05 PM]

It went faster than I figured.

[#50 posted by ROSSINDETROIT , February 14, 2008 9:10 PM]

Wanted life to always be fair

[#51 posted by Registrado , February 14, 2008 9:16 PM]

Fortunately this is just a dream.

There's much good in this thread.
Personal agreements go to Nonlis, Ryan,
Jaguarcy, Doctor Device, m3ch4h0m0, and Edgeplot.

[#52 posted by LOLcat Stevens , February 14, 2008 9:16 PM]

Autobiography:

My name's on Mars - Hell yes!

Biography:

Illegible microscopic scribble. Who's this chump?

[#53 posted by Umpqua , February 14, 2008 9:18 PM]

I'm making sure it never reads:

"Sat on couch a lot. Damn."

[#54 posted by Russell Letson , February 14, 2008 9:28 PM]

For the halves of my life:

Always got his essays graded promptly.
Did his best writing on deadline.

[#55 posted by modati , February 14, 2008 9:30 PM]

its one of two i guess:
alas, i guess i wont understand

eternity: i can see it now

[#56 posted by yatima , February 14, 2008 9:38 PM]

You are what life is for.

[#57 posted by certron , February 14, 2008 9:39 PM]

Can't sleep, clowns will eat me.
~
What does this button do? Oh.
~
Should have bought Wal-mart, Exxon, Berkshire.
~
Packed spare parachute? Maybe next time.

[#58 posted by themindfantastic , February 14, 2008 9:44 PM]

Definitely afraid of falling from heights.

[#59 posted by starcadia , February 14, 2008 9:53 PM]

Only 10,000 more years until enlightenment!

[#60 posted by windybt , February 14, 2008 9:56 PM]

Hesitation took away all my chances.

[#61 posted by JY Yang , February 14, 2008 9:59 PM]

Everything all for this, I guess.

[#62 posted by lmegliol , February 14, 2008 10:07 PM]

Learned much. Never really knew anything.

[#63 posted by Rossifumi , February 14, 2008 10:21 PM]

Freewill and fate always converged

[#64 posted by Rinchen , February 14, 2008 10:21 PM]

Live in hope. Die in despair.

[#65 posted by Hell's Donut House , February 14, 2008 10:38 PM]

Pay attention, you will be tested.

[#66 posted by jcartan , February 14, 2008 10:48 PM]

Came, saw, took lots of naps

Danced, wondered, searched, found, lost, accepted

Life takes longer than you think

[#67 posted by cassiet , February 14, 2008 10:49 PM]

waiting for what's next.. always waiting.

[#68 posted by Zuty , February 14, 2008 11:06 PM]

All I Need: Soap, Socks, Sandwiches.

[#69 posted by Takuan , February 14, 2008 11:18 PM]

I told you I was sick

[#70 posted by Takuan , February 14, 2008 11:19 PM]

conveyor or not, it takes off

[#71 posted by triakter , February 14, 2008 11:41 PM]

There actually is no secret sauce.

[#72 posted by Fnarf , February 14, 2008 11:50 PM]

Told you I wasn't feeling well.

[#73 posted by tempophage , February 15, 2008 12:01 AM]

Child, Soldier, Husband, Father, next . . . death.

[#74 posted by Alan , February 15, 2008 12:06 AM]

Alone. Proved man IS an island

[#75 posted by wildweasel , February 15, 2008 12:15 AM]

Please, Mom, just one more game!

[#76 posted by o0oo00o0o , February 15, 2008 12:31 AM]

Maybe I should have compromised more?

[#77 posted by luistxo , February 15, 2008 12:43 AM]

I have never been good at math

[#78 posted by reliable , February 15, 2008 1:03 AM]

Dont procrastinate now - do it later.

[#79 posted by jcartan , February 15, 2008 1:13 AM]

Provided warm lap for numerous cats

[#80 posted by Nato Welch , February 15, 2008 1:28 AM]

Savored Slack.
Loved All.
Prefer myself.

[#81 posted by robin_hood , February 15, 2008 2:07 AM]

Believe mother. Toast in bathtub bad.

[#82 posted by mesrop , February 15, 2008 2:44 AM]

before my time, by thousand years.

[#83 posted by mesrop , February 15, 2008 2:47 AM]

Killed my god, love my humanity.

[#84 posted by jcartan , February 15, 2008 2:57 AM]

What is there to say, really?

[#85 posted by Kristi , February 15, 2008 3:18 AM]

Found her time to emerge amaranthine.

[#86 posted by WardenStreets , February 15, 2008 3:30 AM]

Divorce almost final, things looking up.

[#87 posted by Jeff , February 15, 2008 3:58 AM]

Very telling words, inner truths revealed.

What is this, a flash confession?

[#88 posted by Adventure Books of Seattle , February 15, 2008 4:15 AM]

People YES, Corporations WATCH, Exploration GO.

[#89 posted by DaedalusAloft , February 15, 2008 4:27 AM]

Re-spawn in 3, 2, 1... Crap.

[#90 posted by fnord , February 15, 2008 5:05 AM]

Must I live this life alone?

[#91 posted by Cheqyr , February 15, 2008 5:17 AM]

Comment number twenty-three nails it.

[#92 posted by wayn3w , February 15, 2008 5:45 AM]

This is all there is -- really.

[#93 posted by raisedbywolves , February 15, 2008 5:49 AM]

Reckless leaper finds soft landing.

[#94 posted by faroutfive , February 15, 2008 6:05 AM]

Did the best I could. Tired.

[#95 posted by Eduardo , February 15, 2008 6:31 AM]

Too long for me.

[#96 posted by Abbey , February 15, 2008 6:58 AM]

Not like I planned. It's better.

[#97 posted by Alpinwolf , February 15, 2008 7:04 AM]

Watch me do this new trick!

-or-

Now I'll attempt the Triple Lindy...

-or-

Phooey, I hate cliff hanger endings

-or-

I have you now!... wait, what?

{My first post! Kthxbai}

[#98 posted by Jack Caesar , February 15, 2008 7:15 AM]

Born
Childhood
Middle bit
...
The Future

-or-

Getting somewhere? Revisit square one, again.

[#99 posted by InnerPeacenik , February 15, 2008 7:22 AM]

Thanks, Prem Rawat, for inner peace.

[#100 posted by legotech , February 15, 2008 7:24 AM]

Grow up? What? Why do that?

[#101 posted by Halloween Jack , February 15, 2008 7:53 AM]

It's true: everybody plays the fool.

[#102 posted by Worthydog , February 15, 2008 8:00 AM]

Struggled with depression, overcame medication stigma.

[#103 posted by Rossifumi , February 15, 2008 8:09 AM]

Life, don't leave home without it.

[#104 posted by whenindeepshit , February 15, 2008 8:10 AM]

Don't waste it blogging. Get laid!

[#105 posted by License Farm , February 15, 2008 8:32 AM]

Wrote everything but what I wanted.

or

Anything I could say depresses me.

[#106 posted by Rickmccl , February 15, 2008 8:51 AM]

Bye, thanks for all the fish.

for Doctor Nakamats:

Floppy disk first in long string.

[#107 posted by sphenga , February 15, 2008 9:13 AM]

with timid gumption adventures were found.

[#108 posted by Spinningmind , February 15, 2008 9:16 AM]

Thought much. Accomplished little. Still happy.

[#109 posted by joanna , February 15, 2008 9:29 AM]

Despite warnings, never minded the gap.

[#110 posted by mikeout , February 15, 2008 10:09 AM]

Amassed a most impressive CD collection.

[#111 posted by Ian70 , February 15, 2008 10:15 AM]

I'll just use Freddie Mercury's 6-word bigraphy:
"Singer of songs, lover of life."

[#112 posted by plousia , February 15, 2008 10:17 AM]

Desperate misery, but God, redeemed living.

[#113 posted by korrontean , February 15, 2008 10:33 AM]

Had fun, tried to be good.

[#114 posted by ill lich , February 15, 2008 10:56 AM]

He was some guy, now compost.

[#115 posted by aluxeterna , February 15, 2008 11:03 AM]

These comments have jumped the shark.

[#116 posted by Adventure Books of Seattle , February 15, 2008 12:04 PM]

'I took an online explosives cour...'

[#117 posted by ash , February 15, 2008 12:39 PM]

just drinkin, smokin, straight west coastin

(ok not my words, but appropriate anyway)

[#118 posted by Takuan , February 15, 2008 12:47 PM]

didn't file last years tax return

[#119 posted by morestuff , February 15, 2008 12:57 PM]

how much now do I get?

[#120 posted by Machinehead , February 15, 2008 1:18 PM]

Had all the sex I wanted

[#121 posted by mathus , February 15, 2008 1:55 PM]

Saw seeing, lost equilibrium redirected experiments

right about them, they're us, fuck

[#122 posted by Jeff , February 15, 2008 2:11 PM]

The End Is Near. Repent Now!

Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha

[#123 posted by The Thompson Five , February 15, 2008 2:58 PM]

Hey, does red mean it's on?

[#124 posted by Takuan , February 15, 2008 3:19 PM]

I can quit anytime I want

[#125 posted by mdhatter , February 15, 2008 3:41 PM]

A little dab will do you.

[#126 posted by Who , February 15, 2008 3:50 PM]

Tricycles, girls, sunrises, sushi, begin again.

[#127 posted by V , February 15, 2008 3:52 PM]

I thought there'd be more monkeys.

[#128 posted by morestuff , February 15, 2008 5:25 PM]

what happens if I do this?

[#129 posted by morestuff , February 15, 2008 5:37 PM]

you must be present to win.

[#130 posted by stuartcw , February 15, 2008 5:53 PM]

Went to Japan, never came back.

[#131 posted by Dave Hecht , February 15, 2008 9:28 PM]

woke up light in life out

[#132 posted by Van Diemen , February 15, 2008 11:47 PM]

Roamed many countries. Like mine best.

[#133 posted by PeaceLove , February 16, 2008 3:49 PM]

Act One: ADHD. Act Two: Pending.

[#134 posted by CrossCompiler , February 16, 2008 4:50 PM]

Stopped anthropomorphizing theists at age five.

[#135 posted by Guru , February 16, 2008 5:08 PM]

Loved God, Kids, Wife, work. Happiness!

[#136 posted by arkizzle , February 16, 2008 8:33 PM]

can i haz wun moar go?

[#137 posted by evener , February 17, 2008 2:45 AM]

"Energy equals mass times squared lightspeed" - A. Einstein

[#138 posted by insomma , February 17, 2008 5:23 AM]

living as long as life permits

or

never really worried, resting in peace

[#139 posted by carlton , February 17, 2008 6:56 AM]

What? Me flunk English? That's unpossible!

[#140 posted by Adam Keck , February 17, 2008 7:13 AM]

Died with most toys. I win.

[#141 posted by Adam Keck , February 17, 2008 7:16 AM]

Cancer. Wish I had more time...

[#142 posted by InnerPeacenik , February 17, 2008 7:20 AM]

That was fun! What happens now?

or

Played Hide and Seek with God

or

Old too soon, wise too late

[#143 posted by ill lich , February 17, 2008 12:07 PM]

This cemetery is just wasted space.