(UPDATE: I put the wrong timestamp on this post, so it got buried. I'm putting it back at the top of the stack, so everyone has a chance to join the fun.)
Not Quite What I Was Planning: Six-Word Memoirs by Writers Famous and Obscure, edited by Larry Smith and Rachel Fershleiser, is an anthology of several hundred six-word autobiographies. I wish all tombstones came with stories like these:
Kentucky trash heap yields unexpected flower. -- John KurtzWhat's your six-word memoir? Add it to the comments. LinkChanging mind postponed demise by decades. -- Scott O'Neil
Despite disorders, jafroed jewboy gets girl. -- Michael Eisner
Didn't pull out. Downhill from there. -- Roger Daubach
Thought I would have more impact. -- Kevin Clark
Yes, you can edit my biography. -- Jimmy Wales
Must remember: people, gadgets. That order. -- Brian Lam
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What a waste of good words.
At forty, you figure it out.
I never knew what hit me.
Acted. Like he had a life.
Film school was a bad idea.
Film school was a bad idea.
Coffee, code and marijuana. Terrible lover.
"Save me!" she begged. I couldn't.
-=-
The water's rising faster now. Goodbye.
-=-
He seemed so sweet. At first.
Married to exwife 150 pounds ago.
When in thought, rode a bicycle
Thought I'd be awesome by now.
This hurts more than I thought.
Always cared enough to follow directions properly.
Too bored to finish anything
Never stopped moving until the end
Never was any good at rules.
I think therefore I am late
More words! More words! What a
Unfortunately, five words is enough.
old too soon, smart too late (alright, not mine, but good)
Who am I to say no?
I couldn't get it to go
Not sure, not done living yet.
Life is a chair of bullies
I can't in less than seven.
Emptied by women, swimming in booze.
Learn this one thing, it's critical,
-or-
Before I passed, I wished I'd
-or-
Take time to finish what you
My two favourites from the article that started all this:
Margaret Atwood: "Longed for him. Got him. Shit."
Joss Whedon: "Gown removed carefully. Head less so."
And my favorite... OK, really two for 12 words, but they could be used on their own or together:
I'm just to the good part,
Now I'll never know what happens.
Screwed up childhood, still reliving it.
Explosion. What awesome way to die.
Live in hope. Die in despair.
Really? Is that all there is?
Live and learn; die and forget.
oh that's what that smell was
Abortion at 25, adoption at 40.
That's all there is. Awesome, huh?
Got over it. Then fun began.
Older. No wiser. Still having fun.
Two careers so far, still time.
Slept by day and read all night.
Art as life, just not mine.
gay vegetarian librarian, wants kids/husband
hmmm, sounds more like a personals ad...
Saw the truth, was not impressed.
was drunk, was sober, drunk better
it was death that killed him
sum.zero
Never could beat Super Mario Brothers.
Took my damn time with everything.
It went faster than I figured.
Wanted life to always be fair
Fortunately this is just a dream.
There's much good in this thread.
Personal agreements go to Nonlis, Ryan,
Jaguarcy, Doctor Device, m3ch4h0m0, and Edgeplot.
Autobiography:
My name's on Mars - Hell yes!
Biography:
Illegible microscopic scribble. Who's this chump?
I'm making sure it never reads:
"Sat on couch a lot. Damn."
For the halves of my life:
Always got his essays graded promptly.
Did his best writing on deadline.
its one of two i guess:
alas, i guess i wont understand
eternity: i can see it now
You are what life is for.
Can't sleep, clowns will eat me.
~
What does this button do? Oh.
~
Should have bought Wal-mart, Exxon, Berkshire.
~
Packed spare parachute? Maybe next time.
Definitely afraid of falling from heights.
Only 10,000 more years until enlightenment!
Hesitation took away all my chances.
Everything all for this, I guess.
Learned much. Never really knew anything.
Freewill and fate always converged
Live in hope. Die in despair.
Pay attention, you will be tested.
Came, saw, took lots of naps
Danced, wondered, searched, found, lost, accepted
Life takes longer than you think
waiting for what's next.. always waiting.
All I Need: Soap, Socks, Sandwiches.
I told you I was sick
conveyor or not, it takes off
There actually is no secret sauce.
Told you I wasn't feeling well.
Child, Soldier, Husband, Father, next . . . death.
Alone. Proved man IS an island
Please, Mom, just one more game!
Maybe I should have compromised more?
I have never been good at math
Dont procrastinate now - do it later.
Provided warm lap for numerous cats
Savored Slack.
Loved All.
Prefer myself.
Believe mother. Toast in bathtub bad.
before my time, by thousand years.
Killed my god, love my humanity.
What is there to say, really?
Found her time to emerge amaranthine.
Divorce almost final, things looking up.
Very telling words, inner truths revealed.
What is this, a flash confession?
People YES, Corporations WATCH, Exploration GO.
Re-spawn in 3, 2, 1... Crap.
Must I live this life alone?
Comment number twenty-three nails it.
This is all there is -- really.
Reckless leaper finds soft landing.
Did the best I could. Tired.
Too long for me.
Not like I planned. It's better.
Watch me do this new trick!
-or-
Now I'll attempt the Triple Lindy...
-or-
Phooey, I hate cliff hanger endings
-or-
I have you now!... wait, what?
{My first post! Kthxbai}
Born
Childhood
Middle bit
...
The Future
-or-
Getting somewhere? Revisit square one, again.
Thanks, Prem Rawat, for inner peace.
Grow up? What? Why do that?
It's true: everybody plays the fool.
Struggled with depression, overcame medication stigma.
Life, don't leave home without it.
Don't waste it blogging. Get laid!
Wrote everything but what I wanted.
or
Anything I could say depresses me.
Bye, thanks for all the fish.
for Doctor Nakamats:
Floppy disk first in long string.
with timid gumption adventures were found.
Thought much. Accomplished little. Still happy.
Despite warnings, never minded the gap.
Amassed a most impressive CD collection.
I'll just use Freddie Mercury's 6-word bigraphy:
"Singer of songs, lover of life."
Desperate misery, but God, redeemed living.
Had fun, tried to be good.
He was some guy, now compost.
These comments have jumped the shark.
'I took an online explosives cour...'
just drinkin, smokin, straight west coastin
(ok not my words, but appropriate anyway)
didn't file last years tax return
how much now do I get?
Had all the sex I wanted
Saw seeing, lost equilibrium redirected experiments
right about them, they're us, fuck
The End Is Near. Repent Now!
Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha
Hey, does red mean it's on?
I can quit anytime I want
A little dab will do you.
Tricycles, girls, sunrises, sushi, begin again.
I thought there'd be more monkeys.
what happens if I do this?
you must be present to win.
Went to Japan, never came back.
woke up light in life out
Roamed many countries. Like mine best.
Act One: ADHD. Act Two: Pending.
Stopped anthropomorphizing theists at age five.
Loved God, Kids, Wife, work. Happiness!
can i haz wun moar go?
"Energy equals mass times squared lightspeed" - A. Einstein
living as long as life permits
or
never really worried, resting in peace
What? Me flunk English? That's unpossible!
Died with most toys. I win.
Cancer. Wish I had more time...
That was fun! What happens now?
or
Played Hide and Seek with God
or
Old too soon, wise too late
This cemetery is just wasted space.
Born, lived, exhaled, recursed, trepidation and?
You! Quit standing on my grave!
Try it, you might like it!
Stories saved me, so I write.
Oh, how I loved the world.
I came. I saw. I plagiarized.
Stay out of the mud, hon.
Been there. Done that. What's next?
Craving order, loving chaos, making due.
It's a dog's life. If only!
A tourist returned home as carry on.
Was born, I lived, now dead...
Now this is jolly good living...
Forgot to look before I leapt...
Was an oxygen thief. Finally caught
That last potion did not work...
Failed at life, suceeded in death...
She did me in I tell ya!
My death, a left-wing conspiracy...
life scientist: experimented with everything (period)
Despite warnings, walked into the light.
We'll see who's right now, Christianity!
Would be, she is, she was.
You kids get off my crypt!
I'm six feet closer to China!
Warning. Don't hold beer and watch.
Was late to her own funeral.
I lost, feared loss, lost everything.
___________
...then I thought I might escape...
____________
I knew she had a husband?
This is your life- you're lost.
A crooked past straightens my future
like a band of unwavering light
Love fast, regret a long time.
An open mind, an open heart.
College sucks. Classes fine. Friends insincere.
Always figuring it out too late.
Without love, exists life without happiness
Should’ve “went” to school… but didn’t.
Wished upon stars- found them planets.
Silence isn't golden; need my voice.
Love and marriage;
Death and taxes.
Rising tide
Didn't lift
This ship
lived to see a black president
sweeter and simpler than you'd expect.
All wounds were slight save one?
Guns and drag don't mix well.
born a patriot, died knowing better
silent screams drown out screaming silence
Everything done will mean more someday
Disappointment should not be anything new
These violent delights have violent ends.
Are you going to eat that?
I'm off to kick god's ass
never had much use for it.
a side note in art history.
A Happening waiting for an accident. --Tristan MacAvery
Never recovered from a happy childhood.
This time is THE. LAST. TIME.
Not good at following instructions
Ruth fills empty void: Wife disagree's
read this somewhere, a guy was describing his affair
Isn't slowed by hesitation; lives on.
material possession is not human progression
i just thought of more, and i do realize that wasn't really a direct memoir.
i'm proud i stopped shaving
and
not too cool to have fun.
:)
Rules are meant to be broken
cant...stop...reading...boing...boing...comments
Brevity is not my strong suit.
Wake me up for my graduation.
life of the party, designated driver.
lonely. junk. Christ. adoption. joy. eternity.
it's just you and me world.....
that crazy kid on the roof
frootloop in a bowl of cheerios
scared of heights and still climbing
go green, live large, then die
Born mature... went downhill from there
No mom, no dad, just me,
living each day, walking with Jesus.
Crazier every day, wiser every year.
You? Different? Yeah, i thought so
7 words? Never was good at math.
dad died, you held it together.
----
at wedding, should've been the bride.
----
refuse to ever live without you.
----
lucky to have you all along.
I've your mistake in my body.
They should have used protection
will she ever know my feelings?