Pictures of guys in clubs with spray tans
According to Barstool Sports, these photos of men with very dark spray tans were taken in New Jersey.
Link (Via Why, That's Delightful!)
According to Barstool Sports, these photos of men with very dark spray tans were taken in New Jersey.
Link (Via Why, That's Delightful!)
wan't this in Digg as part of some "Douchebags list"
what's with all the teasing?
LOL. we have been making fun of these guys for a couple of years now on the nyc dance music messageboards.
Very nicely coinciding with todays news story and comic over at CAD. ctrlaltdel-online.com
It just looks fake too. Why would girls even want to hang out with those creeps?
My first thought was "douchebags". :)
I'll take a Rat King chaser for that one.
I'm not sure what's more disturbing.
The "Crown of thorns" hair,
The Orange goop dripping off their foreheads
Or theterrifying "Pouty" pose.
What the hell is going on in NJ?
This one's a classic.
love the "blue steel" Zoolander trainee eleven frames down(Hey! It IS fun making fun of people!)
When Guidos collide with Kogaru.
ALL of these pictures have been previously displayed at Hot Chicks with Douchebags (pops, SFW). In fact, that one guy that's in multiple pics was crowned Douchebag of the Year 2007!
they look like A.J. Soprano's crowd
Guidos on Boingboing, we've seen everything!
Oompa-Loompas!
These pictures make me want to pack up my wife and kids and move to the south of France where we can watch the decline of the American Empire from a comfortable distance.
"men"?
Enough with the "this was posted on blah blah blah last week" already. It's new to me, and a "wonderful thing", just like it says on the box.
If you like those, don't miss clubitup.com
Great stuff: http://www.clubitup.com/dna/dna110406/html/index002.html
(That pursed-lips thing they're doing is often called "douche-face", or at least that's what I know it as).
See also "ganguro": http://images.google.com/images?q=Ganguro&btnG=Search+Images
WHY?
Artificially-darkened skin aside (or maybe because of it), why do I have a suspicion that some of these guys use the N-word on a regular basis? (And not in a friendly way.)
The Something Awful forums had an amazing Guido megathread going for awhile, and it lead to a lot of reminiscing with a friend from NYC - the girlfriends of guidos are called "guidettes," by the way.
there is definite irony in their apparent obliviousness to "Minstrel Show"
So can we look forward to mobsters with whimsical names like Joey "The Tan" Castalucci?
to get laid, why else?
Yet another compelling reason to split New Jersey in two.
You'll only find them up in North Jersey. We're blissfully free of them in the southern parts.
The more I see these the more convinced I am that many of these are are doing this as some sort of entirely self-aware prank. I do not believe the oompa-looma white-suited guido linked above by NE2D could possibly be anything but a smartass.
Ugh. -_-
Give me a thin boy with a deathly pale complexion over a guy like THAT any day.
They're not really brown, it's an optical illusion. They're really the same color as the yellow square on the side.
That hair is real though and we should all be very, very afraid of it.
Phew. Anthropomorphictoast actually gave me a reason to like these guys. Just in time, too.
There's a relevant Black-History-Month and history-of-blackface joke floating around these pictures, I'm sure. I love the guy who's normal pale in the first picture, then orange about fifteen pictures down.
In other news, WHY THE POUTING!?!??!
...Ok, I give. Anyone got the Krylon official Color Name and Number, or at least a SKU from Home Depot for this spray?
"Excuse me, do you have any Krylon Hamilton #69, please?"
Londo chaser:
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/3/3a/B5_londo.jpg
@Chevan
I second the New Jersey split proposal only so I no longer have to pass through the "Trenton Time Warp" That magical middle section of NJ that once entered, transports you back in time 15 years, and somehow into the deep south.
North Jersey, full of guidos definitely. South Jersey..definitely copy and pasted from another place and time.
Lucky for us though, as soon as its summer most of the guidos migrate south to good ol' seaside, or where ever their rich parents own a shore house.
@ cr0m
Thank you so much for that. As a big B5 fan, that hit me completely out of the blue and gave me the best laugh I've had in months.
@29
As a functionary in club-land, all I have to say is that the pout (beyond the Zoolander reference) is a universal pose for this crowd, like flipping the bird at the camera. Its transcended cliche and become a norm.
New Jersey prototype
http://youtube.com/watch?v=0w0c0DOLrsw
(NSFW, and youve probably seen but always worth another watch.)
I wish Louis Theroux would do a documentary on these guys and their lives.
That clip made me want to change my species.
"Guido?"
Surely the "hot chicks" are bound to be douchebags too?
Oh my god, that is unreal.
Surely the "hot chicks" are bound to be douchebags too?
Linguistic sexual dimorphism: skanks. Although I suspect that otherwise charming young ladies pose for these pictures with the circus freaks as a joke. "I went to Jersey and all I got was this lousy orange stain on my dress."
#21
"Guidette"? I've heard "Gina" for Guido's girlfriend...
Gosh, how the English language has degenerated since my younger days. Why when I was a youth, it was a simple rule that the girls should be called douche-bags, and the boys should be called scum-bags. Simple and clear.
It's like fake & bake with frosting on top!
heterosexuals are so weird.
bloody mammals
heterosexuals are so weird.
Damn straight!
Meh. No stranger than girls who go for, say, guys with green spikey hair, or goths, or guys with lots of piercings, or tattoos, etc. Lots of people do lots of odd things to themselves and lots of other people, for whatever reason, end up finding it attractive.
Personally, I think the new "exotic" look is actually no makeup, no tattoos, no piercings, no hair coloring and no spray on tan. That's a rare configuration! :-p
If you would like a more in-depth look at these "Guidos" in a habitat other than their own you can take a look at George Washington University. Needless to say - the tanned weirdness remains but the stares increase.
is there a name for these "plainies" yet? skinjobs? beigers? fleshies?schmoos?
I'm sure you can think of something.
Virgins?
Yes, because clearly anyone who is not obsessing over their own appearance must be a virgin, Antinous. Because nothing says, "I'm popular with the opposite sex" like a maximum number of body modifications.
Luckily, there's an entire American industry formed on this very thing. I mean, other than the mass marketing of mirrors.
I think "humans" suits just fine, thanks.
On behalf of caucasians everywhere, I would like to tender our apologies to the melanin-enhanced.
how could the unadorned be considered human?
Because nothing says, "I'm popular with the opposite sex" like a maximum number of body modifications.
Opposite sex? Oh, yeah. You're the guy who associates gay weddings with target practice.
Oyasuminasai, Tak-kun.
g'nite
I think a female Guido is a Guidolina.
@Alfie: > What the hell is going on in NJ?
You're just asking this now?
i've seen some of these kids on other blogs before. if i had to guess i'd say they're more than likely part of the long island B&T crowd (ever been in penn station after the NYC clubs shut down?).
i'm a native texan now living in jersey. i haven't seen many of these kids in my town. i've seen the hair style on rare occasions but never the fake-bake.
jersey gets a bad rap but for the most part i think it's uncalled for. get beyond newark and port elizabeth and you'll see why it's called the garden state.
and to any of you NY folks that like to chide jersey residents... how long does it take you to get from your residence to the ESB? if it's anything longer than 20 minutes on a good day you might consider moving to jersey.
i think i should have read through the comments posted before i posted mine (approx. 1:06 AM). i didn't realize there was so much negativity going on and i contributed to it with my jab at the long island/penn station crowd. i think my eye caught something about jersey and i took offense to it (and i lived the majority of my life in another state). the fact is every city, state, country has its stereotypes. who are any of us to judge?
and just to disregard my own self: if you look into dolface's post a bit you'll find that the club in question is in queens. queens is on long island. long island is in new york. something tells me that's where you'll find joey porsche. he's not in north jersey. but if he is... doesn't matter to me. i never leave my laptop. i have too much boingboinging to do.
I can forgive everything but the hair. Yes, even the terrible spray tans. But American hairstyles are shit. Just shit. It stems from the fact that most American stylists (except at the super-expensive level) are also shit.
Your hair should not be hard. You look like a junior high kid.
As odd as it may look, I find it incredibly negative and unexpected that people are being so discriminate here. It's just a little micro-culture - it's their business to look how they want to.
Skin color will be one of those things that we'll be able to change---in the Future. I'm going to stay a nice pale shade of Irish white, until I decide to go jet black.
I agree, apart from the fact that they are freaks and deserving of such mocking.
I went to high school in Buffalo in the late 80's-early 90's, and this just gave me that queasy terrified feeling I get whenever anything reminds me too clearly of that time. These pictures cannot QUITE communicate the unbelievable amount of cologne those guys are wearing. Imagine them applying cologne with the same enthusiasm as self tanner, and you get the idea. In high school I had a reputation for being this big lesbian, which I encouraged because the thought of having to interact with those guys on ANY level gave me the shakes. Thanks Boingboing, for reassuring me that it was not all in my head.
New Jersey, come on now, WTF?
They looked as though they were going to go Super Saiyan at any moment. Veguido and Guidoku... FIGHT!
For some reason, they remind of those awful models on some videogames circa 2000, where a photo of face is plastered on the head, resulting in sudden changes on skin colour.
PSA - Don't Sleep With Those Guys
There's already a video warning out.
Sr, ths gys lk rdcls, bt nt s rdcls s th tttd nd prcd frks tht ths st slly cvrs.
Jager bombs! Jager bombs!
There's an entire spoof called My New Haircut on these New Jersey Guidos: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4JMOh-cul6M
Hi everyone,
the origin of this picture is actually probably not NJ, but rather a techno discotheque in Vienna, Austria, called "NACHTSCHICHT" ("nightshift") whose patrons are primarily from working-class backgrounds.
The habit of using ridiculous amounts of tanning lotion - coupled with regular visits to the solarium ("soli") - is so commonplace here that you barely spend a day without seeing at least a couple of these guys on the streets. There are numerous videos and galleries on the web that provide you with "best-of" compilations of this absurd trend...
The skin hue is referred to as "Prolo-braun" (Proletarian Brown). Many of these fashion victims refer to themselves as "Krocha", which is also the name of the style of dance that they like to practice (related to the europe-wide "jumpstyle" trend). Note that not all Krocha are Prolo-braun.
"Krocha" comes from "Krachen" (to crack), and from the expression "In die schicht einikrochn" (to burst into the nachtschichtg). Some scholars think it also has something to do with the effect of solarium abuse on the skin of the affected.
Other notable rituals include the sporting a celebratory "VoKuHiLa" hair style("Vorne Kurz, Hinten Lang" = a mullet basically), the wearing of "de puta madre" t-shirts, ed hardy caps and, for the girls, the famous "Arschgeweih" ("Ass-Antlers" a tatoo near the bottom of the spine).
The newest style on the hard streets of Vienna is actually wearing cheap 5€ neon-colored baseball caps (3 colors available: pink, green, yellow - particularly effective under black light conditions), preferrably in large groups of associated "Krocha". It is not uncommon to see 10-15 of them - all sporting pink headgear - loitering around the exits of local u-bahn (subway) stations, most notably along the U1 and U6 lines. These serve the eastern side of the city (on the "other side" of the danube), the 21st and 22nd district, which is also where the "Nachtschicht" is located and where most "Krocha" seem to originate from.
Interestingly, although many of the "local" (austrian) followers of this style could be classified as having a right-wing and generally xenophobic orientation, "Krocha" come from many different cultural backgrounds, including turkish and eastern-european. Especially the turkish Krocha are taking the style to new heights by combining it with a weird mix of punk/biker attire, many wearing tight black jeans, loose t-shirts and black leather jackets.
It is fascinating to watch this trend evolve daily - as is it's language. For those of you who understand german, take a look at
http://sabsimausi6666.uboot.com/blog/krocha/
for a short introduction to the "Krocha"-speak.
cheers
these psss give jersey a bad name
Thank goodness I was always suave and timelessly stylish through my late teens. My wavy blond mullet was both attractive and functional for all occasions, formal and informal. (At least the internets were not around then to attest otherwise.)
These guys are kids (maybe early 20s), and like all kids, they think they're the new hotness. No different than this guy or these guys (SFW: modern picture of leisure suit and greasers) were in their day.
#13, that would explain my sudden craving for milk chocolate.
It's a global plague, because I've seen a number of guys sporting similar haircuts here in Italy since the late '90s. The spray tan is less widespread, natural tan or solar bed's tan are more common.
The clothes however, I think that most Italian 'truzzi' would prefer suicide to those things.
I somehow doubt that these were all taken in New Jersey, and I am loathe to generalize about North Jersey, as I have friends living there who are not spray-tanning dingleberrys like these guys. Note that the top photo has a Hungarian web address on it, there are other visual clues that point toward someplace other than Jersey, but who knows.
As a kid I used to think all of New Jersey was an industrial wasteland like the area around Elizabeth, and face it, if you drove from NYC on your way to Philly through that part of Jersey, all you saw was salt marshes, landfills, factories and oil refineries, and the nastiest smell on earth, a putrid combination of all those things. Of course I've since learned that southern Jersey is quite nice, like someone cut-and-pasted part of western MA or central PA onto the state.
#46 ANTINOUS
"heterosexuals are so weird.
Damn straight!"
(That might be the best pun I've seen here ever.)
Milo Minderbender February 9, 2008 6:21 AM says:
I had just turned to my boyfriend not a few minutes ago and said, "I wonder how many of these guys grew up watching Dragonball Z and it not-so-subtly influenced their fashion choices?"
He said, "I hardly think this is Dragonball Z's fault. But I disagree. I remember being very influenced by cartoon fashion when I was a teenager back in the 1980s.
Wow
ILL LICH,
Thanks, but I think that it's been kicking around since the Civil War.
They're all over the place in Berlin too, pretty much tied right into the hip-hop culture. They tuck their pants into their socks and wear baseball caps on top of their heads in such a way that the inside of the cap doesn't touch their hair, but makes it look like they're hiding stuff in there. This is cos it looks good, as opposed to protecting from gel-transfer.
Basically they look like the bad kids from Back to the Future 2.
shane
(Hello Graham Linehan)
@77
all he needs is an orange and red uniform
Finedish Thingy,
You are well named. That was painful to behold.
So, no. #70, let me see if I have this right. . .
Krocha comes from krachen, which is to crack, correct?
So I suppose that would make these chaps Crackers?
Lovely. . . .
hahaha! If you click the link, the last pic on the bottom shows the women who got stuck with the tan boys are very very unhappy. The other two women with the normal dudes seem so full of joy!
A scientific explanation for the guido phenomenon
Am I the only one who saw these and thought, "Grandpa Munster"?
http://115.photobucket.com/albums/a391/kingpopgun/al2.jpg
Are you sure these guys are American? Their faces don't look like they speak English. They look almost Dutch, the one guy who is more muscular than anyone else, his face doesn't look remotely American.
Their faces don't look like they speak English.
tongues not forked?
@ adamnv & ill lich & Takuan & DCer: wrong. all jersey. the int'l addresses are symply an indication of how ubiquitous and universal is the humor contained in those photos.
that stuff is real, those boys thing they are hot, and the girls battle with their bolt-ons.
truly awesome in so many wrong ways.
oops, sorry for all the typos.
symply = simply
thing = think
i blame the meritage. cheers!
You should have stuck to your guns on "symply". It's better.
The hair, taken one guy at a time, isn't too bad, but it is f-ing hilarious to see the exact same cut, color and spike on every kid there.
When I was in high school, the only proof of the bad fashion trends were the yearbooks...thanks to the Internets, these kids will never outlive these pictures. I feel sorry for their future kids.
I feel sorry for their future kids.
With luck, the orange dye will render them sterile. And who says that nobody is going to scan your yearbook photo and post it online? That's almost a dare.
#85 - i never saw it that way...you are absolutely right! Just another example of how globally applicable concepts easily overcome the language barrier!
While perusing the comments on this article, heres the banner ad that popped up on the side:
http://m1.2mdn.net/viewad/1699067/vx_300x250_brand_cougar_30k.jpg
Seems to fit.
Oh my god
Greetings:
I live in New Jersey directly across from Midtown Manhattan. In all of my time here I have never seen one example of these fake-tanned club boys. I must say, though, it is quite horrendous, not so much even the look but what these kids obviously stand for, partake in, strive for believe in- materialism, debauchery, competion, pack-mentality-- lovely :/
I believe this phenomenon is generally relegated to Bergen County, NJ which is the county next to where I live, Hudson County (*Bergen Co, is where 'The Sopranos'is primarily set-- suburban Hell)
NJ is a fine state.
Matty D
Is it fans of the Freakazoid?
the girls in the pics seem to like it...sorta.
To ADAMNV (#73):
Is it just the face, or do they spray their "krochas" a lovely shade of "Prolo-braun" too, to prevent their ruse from being discovered if they manage to get lucky, since these fake tans are soooo realistic? In other words, where do they draw the tan line?? And I really like the term "Arschgeweih" ("Ass-Antlers"), it's more descriptive than "Tramp Stamp." Oh, and I have one more question: Is there a spray color called Bürgertum-weiß available at the clubs on the other side of town?
Seems to me there's a subtle difference between originality and just plain ridiculous. It's original (or was), in some sense, to shave half the hair off your head or spray-paint your face a color that would be called Burnt Orange if it was a crayon, but it's no more ridiculous than most trends... Disco, anyone? (Thank God for Punk Rock, which helped kill disco. What now will save us from Hip Hop and "Club Culture"?)
Thank God for Punk Rock, which helped kill disco.
Disco is huge. Worldwide, it's probably the biggest music genre. Eurovision?
MattyD, I also live in NJ, but a little farther out than Weehawken (or Union City, or wherever you might be). Maybe it's because I'm a 40-something publishing drone who leaves home before dawn and doesn't get home till 12+ hrs later, and thus has no nightlife. Or maybe it's because the Caldwells are hopelessly unhip. ::grin:: But I too have never seen the orange-skinned ones. North Jersey isn't all refineries and Sopranos.
Oh, the lengths people will go to in order to not be perceived as pale.
How can guys that are so dark-skinned, be so "white"?
What's next, boingboing? Zombo.com?
I saw ONE of these in Tampa, at the Int'l Mall. Only siting, but I was aghast.
I guess the time has come to confess that I knew one of these. Except he was gay. And in his 30s. He was my ex-boyfriend's other boyfriend. We nicknamed him Tybo after the giant carrot in The Great Vegetable Rebellion episode of Lost In Space. He had some severe personality disorders. Like permanent disability personality disorders.
Registered Republican huh?
#73-
And in Genoa, 'tis now the fashion to pin a live frog to the shoulder braid, stand on a bucket, and go "bibble" at passers-by.
he'd fit right in
http://www.geocities.com/TelevisionCity/8889/bladder/veggie1.jpg
Something tells me a photo stamped Partyphotos.hu wasn't taken in NJ.The others, yes.
This was so bad I just wrote my own blog about it
Wait... did the kid on the right in the first picture then go and get a spray tan to match his buddy, as seen in the next-to-last picture?
Ok, it's not the guys' fault. Most hot chicks are really, really stupid. This is how normal guys have to look to get hot chicks.
Apparently you guys haven't banged any hot chicks.
Advance apologies to the 3% of the female population that are Sexy and Smart.
No way this would be in the US...different style of bad taste. Could be anywhere east of Germany (but certainly not excluding).
Hmmm...Eurovision is a yearly freak show of acts that seem to exist in a parallel musical universe. It's one of those things where you'll never ever meet somebody who actually takes it seriously, yet it's a big media event.
But however bad it is, Disco (which means many things to many people) is not a common thread in its history. Last time Finish metal band "Lordi" got the dubious price...and promptly had a public square named after them back home.
Such is the power of the Eurovision...almost like soccer.
Elnico, Lordi won in 2006. The 2007 winner was Marija Serifovic, who's more or less from the planet of the k.d. langs, only shorter.
STOP BLAMING THIS ON NEW JERSEY - THESE FREAKS ARE FROM LONG ISLAND!!!!
@89: "Are you sure these guys are American? Their faces don't look like they speak English. They look almost Dutch, the one guy who is more muscular than anyone else, his face doesn't look remotely American."
WTF? DUTCH?
You're on crack mister, that face is clearly Frisian!
What the hell is an "American face"? "American" isn't an ethnicity, it's a nationality.
june..you can spot an american anywhere by there face, like how i can spot a fellow brit in times square, nor