HOWTO contract a sex worker in Silicon Valley
Writer and sex worker Melissa Gira Grant is now contributing to Valleywag. Here is an excerpt from her first item about a sector of the Silicon Valley economy that is rarely mentioned in tech biz publications (unless, say, some high-profile exec is caught in a transaction):
# Search sfbay area -> sby -> services -> erotic. Keywords you're looking for: "college," "tuition," "arrangement," "daddy."Link.# When you find a few likely prospects, email them. DON'T mention money or sex. Follow any instructions she's included, e.g. send her your phone number. She may ask you to confirm who you really are and where you work. She's not a cop -- she's a contractor. You can have her call the front desk at your workplace and ask for you. She'll say she's your "trainer" or something.
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Without making any value judgments (I'm in no place to comment on anyone else's kinks), I find the whole idea indescribably sad. For everyone involved. I know there are people out there for whom this is probably the best option (on both sides of the equation), but still.
I don't know, maybe I'm just projecting my own emotional baggage on individuals for whom this is nothing more than a physical act.
MKULTRA: you're projecting emotional baggage, yes, and that's all well and good. But it doesn't follow that "this is nothing more than a physical act."
One reason to have anonymous and/or for-pay sex is because, even though you believe EVERY other option to be better, this is the ONLY one available to you. That probably does happen, and it probably does make the people in that situation a little sad.
However--not everyone's sexual schema is set up that way. Not every sex worker is miserable (or miserable because of her or his job), and not every client or Craigslister is acting out of desperation or the rutting instinct.
MKULTRA
I've met a number of exotic dancers and escorts in my life (mostly personally, once or twice professionally). What I've found is that many people in doing this work have a different set of moral standards than the rest of society. They do not see the work as degrading and therefore don't feel demeaned by it. Women who are forced into the work, on the other hand, certainly feel it's an option of last resort and it does affect them negatively.
One friend of mine, a nursing student at one of the big nursing schools in San Francisco was also a stripper. She told me that she couldn't wait to cut her nights dancing from 4-5 days a week to 1 day a week after she graduated. Dancing most nights was tiring. One night a week would, however, be fun. She liked dancing!
I guess my main point is that how women view themselves as sex workers depends only on their personal views on sex work and really no one else's.
Is "sex worker" the current PC I-feel-good-about-myself euphamism for "whore"? Because we all know that a rose by any other name - yadda-yadda.
You don't pay them for the sex..
You pay them to leave. ;)
@santa's knee:
not everyone in the "sex worker" industry is a prostitute. That term is all-encompassing and includes dancers, strippers, prostitutes, and can even include people who work at adult book stores (behind the counter, not "freelance", I mean).
So, no, it's not the "PC term" for "whore". It's a way of generalizing a lot of aspects of the industry into one group.
...except in the context of this article, it means "whore". :)
Is "sex worker" the current PC I-feel-good-about-myself euphamism for "whore"?
Current? It's been around for decades. At least half of my male friends and acquaintances have turned tricks or worked in porn films at some point in their lives. It's a job. They were workers. Have you been watching too many episodes of Firefly? Because that line won't get you laid if you don't look like Nathan Fillion.
@Hunty - okay, I'll give you that ;)
If they keep publicizing this type of information, it will increase demand and prices will go up.
supply increases
@ #2, I guess what it is, is that I have trouble picturing this sort of worker being able to attach any deep significance to their work beyond the physical without well, going nuts. That's what I was trying to get across, not an implication that they are emotionally stunted automatons.
Like I said at the beginning, I pass no judgement: if this kind of thing works for people and makes their lives better, well, good for them. I'm sure my own experiences color my view: it seems like the sex workers I've met through volunteer work were all doing battle with addiction, which no doubt gives me a skewed statistical sample.
@ #2, for some reason I don't really have any trouble seeing dancers enjoying their work, as versus more "hands on" situations. I've been to my share of clubs, many of the performers really seemed to really enjoy the work and honestly seemed to be having fun up there. My own personal ethics wouldn't allow me to enjoy the show if I believed otherwise.
I agree that in the end, only an individual's self-image/philosophy really matters.
I guess what really saddens me is the reminder that there are (and always will be) people out there who are so desperate for human contact that they will jump through these sorts of hoops. (and no, I'm not saying that everyone in this situation is desperate... but surely some percentage are.) Again with the projecting, I know.
There are no shades of grey here. Using prostitutes is morally wrong because it always is emotionally damaging to the female. Prostitutes are all messed up and you using them makes them worse and worse off. It is not something to joke about.
Sex worker is a bullshit euphemism.
...I'm not saying that everyone in this situation is desperate... but surely some percentage are.
That describes every job on the planet. Half the doctors that I know are in the business because it's what their parents were willing to pay for them to go to school for. And they hate it. Every hideous corporate office filled with morose workers has somebody who derives true joy from organizing the paper clips. The morose ones aren't willing to quit because they don't believe that they have any other options, which might be true. It sucks, but it exists in every industry. I'd rather starve than touch somebody with whom I don't have emotional intimacy. For some people, it's just not a big deal.
@ #14, What you quote there, I was referring to the clients, not the workers.
@ #13, So, if the prostitute is male and the client is female, is it still the female who's "damaged?" What if they are both males? As someone else pointed out, "sex worker" covers a whole industry, not just prostitution.
This is just irresponsible to promote this.
It's not forward-thinking or edgey, it's just pathetic.
I was referring to the clients, not the workers.
My bad. And you're right. The hospital used to fill up before Christmas every year for the same reason.
What a lot of rightoeus and indignant people out there, Boingers! Who CARES if someone pays someone else for sex. How about dealing with child or slave labour and stop buying sweatshop products from large department stores. Do something positive instead of shaking your walking sticks.
Somehow, reading the title of this, I expected it to link to an Instructable. I think I am relieved it didn't.