Kids learn to flatter around 4
A joint Canadian-Chinese study indicates that children learn to tell social lies around age four:
Link (via Collision Detection)They asked a group of preschool children ages 3 to 6 to rate drawings by children and adults they knew, as well as strangers. The preschoolers judged the artwork both when the artist was present, and when he or she was absent. The three-year-olds were completely honest, and remained consistent in their ratings; it didn’t matter who drew it, or whether the person was in the room. Five- and six-year-olds gave more flattering ratings when the artist was in front of them. They flattered both strangers and those they knew (although familiar people got a higher dose of praise). Among the four-year-olds, half the group displayed flattery while the other half did not. This supports the idea that age four is a key transitional period in children’s social understanding of the world.
Lee suggests adults flatter for two reasons. It can be to show gratitude for some positive action in the past. As well, when they’re meeting someone for first time – someone who may turn out to be important for their advancement down the road – flattery is also used as an investment for future favourable treatment from the person. “We don’t know which the child is doing,” says Lee. However, the fact that the older children flattered strangers as well as familiar people suggests “they are thinking ahead, they are making these little social investments for future benefits.”
See also: Babies lie!
(Image: Kids painting, a Creative Commons Attribution photo from BarelyFitz's Flickr stream)
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Lying? No, children generally haven't developed enough by that age to really "lie". Trial and error social modelling , experimentation with what works in society - certainly. "Lying". No.
I'd like to think that they're learning the golden rule before lying. Maybe they just want to be nice to people.
I was thinking that, too, Jim. I find this a bit dubious:
...However, the fact that the older children flattered strangers as well as familiar people suggests “they are thinking ahead, they are making these little social investments for future benefits.”
...Maybe the children are just imitating how their parents and other role models behave? Usually, these people constantly praise the children, and children simply imitate that because that's how one behaves.
@ Charliekkendo: I was thinking the same thing - the kids aren't thinking ahead, they're just copying adults who compliment the kids.
Ha. I don't need a study for this. My four year old has been using flattery for about a year now. When she wants something, I suddenly hear "You're very pretty Mommy!"
I never hear this unless she's done something, or wants something. She's come up with this on her own as well as it's not a behaviour my husband or I ever engage in. We don't compliment without reason or prior to activities-afterwards maybe, which accounts for the "Wow Mommy, these cookies are really awesome."
She's developing all the necessary skills to be a politician. We're not pleased.
Their explanation is too mechanical. One reason people "flatter" people to their faces is quite simply empathy. When you are confronted with "art" from an artist whose work frankly sucks, you almost never give your true opinion. This is not because you hope to gain something from the artist. This is because people are trained not to hurt each other's feelings.
4-5 is right around when children start to develop empathy.
In addition to simply being nice, and learning the concept of empathy, what about avoiding conflict? After saying nasty things to other kids, children learn that unflattering words can lead to tears and fights. Want to lose friends? Tell them their art is bad. Even if the art is terrible, kids learn that "you worked hard on this" is better than "I don't like it" at keeping relationships civil.
#1: Do you have any kids? (My three-year-old has already learned to lie. Yes, fine, insert cheap shot here. :P :) )
All: please note that the summary states that (some of) the children are "displaying flattery", which I interpret as "saying things which can be interpreted as flattery". There is no suggestion (well, maybe there is in the article; I've only read the excerpt above) that they have established _why_ the kids are doing this. Several of these explanations could be apropos; not sure why everyone thinks that their pet theory is denied by the article.
Young organisms wishing to survive develop traits that encourage adults to give them food, eh? Flattery, lying, cute - aren't they survival strategies? Darwinian traits? Injecting morality into the question is not that far from Intelligent Design.
Or maybe the kids learn to be nice at age 4. Art is subjective and maybe the kids have learned that they shouldn't hurt someone's feelings over something that's totally subjective anyways.
Other studies have shown that children begin to learn empathy (i.e. the ability to put yourself in some else's shoes) around age 4 and this study just supports this fact. They aren't necessarily "gaining" anything by just being nice to someone.
My hypothesis is that the authors are borderline sociopaths for not even thinking of that possibility...