What's the terminal velocity of a Balrog?

Cortejo sez, "Irony Chan is trying to figure the terminal velocity and weight of a Balrog. She has gotten quite far." Link (Thanks, Cortejo)

[#1 posted by tartar , January 26, 2008 7:55 AM]

That's neat!

[#2 posted by archcvd , January 26, 2008 8:26 AM]

NOM NOM NOM

Hahaha I loved that.

[#3 posted by Carlos , January 26, 2008 10:48 AM]

Apologies in advance for the NQ, but I think Mr. Chan is erroneously assuming that a Balrog is made up exclusively of measurable states of matter. Not sure how much every-day physics applies to demons of fire and shadow. Fire, as well as I can remember my physics class, is a plasma, and I'm pretty sure you can't measure the mass of a plasma by dunking it in water and then multiplying up. And I don't think current physics has figured out how to measure the mass of shadows. (If so, please correct me.)

FWIW, the Wikipedia entry says this of balrogs: "While not specifically stated by Tolkien, it seems that Balrogs were partially fixed in their fiery demonic forms in the same way. Tolkien describes them as 'spirits' of fire and 'great shadows.' As a result, it is uncertain whether the Balrogs were somewhat ethereal."

I also think using a toy model misses one important step: when scientists build scale models of dinosaurs, they are basing their models on discovered fossils. We may have to hold off on this analysis until we find a balrog femur or two.

[#4 posted by ryan , January 26, 2008 11:01 AM]

African, or European ?
Laden or unladen ?

[#5 posted by dculberson , January 26, 2008 11:04 AM]

Carlos, the calculations would probably be accurate within a telog per squinch or so. Give or take a flunch.

[#6 posted by the_boy , January 26, 2008 11:16 AM]

That's great! Also great? Disney princess pasta and Games Workshop Balrog juxtaposition.

[#7 posted by CommieNeko , January 26, 2008 12:11 PM]

First you have to determine whether or not Balrogs have wings...

(ducks and runs away)

[#8 posted by cellocgw , January 26, 2008 1:02 PM]

I think they could have used a better model-- check out the Balrog on the LOTR pinball machine :-)

[#9 posted by Antinous , January 26, 2008 1:59 PM]

As a result, it is uncertain whether the Balrogs were somewhat ethereal.

If you subtract the fëa from the total, you're left with the hröa. Then you multiply that by the Morgoth Constant.

[#10 posted by l'elk! , January 26, 2008 2:36 PM]

american or japanese balrog?
the way the japanese balrog's psycho crusher makes him fly completely vertical across the screen means he probably has a pretty damn high terminal velocity...

*ahem*

:)

[#11 posted by mrfitz , January 26, 2008 3:47 PM]

Carlos:

I think one assumption is that the physical components of the Balrog are adequately described by natural laws. Since the Balrog doesn't simply levitate out of the chasm in the story, we can safely assume that it is at least somewhat bound by those laws.

[#12 posted by Moon , January 26, 2008 3:47 PM]

LOL at Ryan #4! :D

[#13 posted by mactanque , January 26, 2008 5:40 PM]

hahaha i love it!

[#14 posted by A New Challenger , January 26, 2008 9:24 PM]

LOL @ L'Elk, except the character he described is neither the American nor Japanese Balrog.

[#15 posted by ablestmage , January 27, 2008 1:31 AM]

@ MRFITZ..

Yes, it's the "somewhat" in the question that throws it all off =P Clearly a balrog can have some essence of matter enough to grip a mysteriously fire-like whip (which in turn can grip the feet of wizards) but on the other hand is made up of an unknown "quantity" of immeasurable substance. The ratio of plasma to solid isn't readily discernable =/

[#16 posted by jphilby , January 27, 2008 2:36 PM]

Depends on whether you throw it tied to a roc?

[#17 posted by Antinous , January 27, 2008 5:05 PM]

Now that you mention it, if the Roc picks up elephants to feed its chicks, does the Balrog feed its offspring oliphaunts?