Presidential milkshakes

Sean T. Collins of Attention Deficit Disorder has created a presidential milkshake list that tells you all you need to know about the candidates. Here are a few:

I drink your milkshake, even though I opposed drinking your milkshake four years ago. -- Mitt Romney

I drink your milkshake, but only if the Bible says it's allowed. -- Mike Huckabee

I may drink your milkshake for another 100 years, if that's what it takes. -- John McCain

I drank a milkshake on 9/11. -- Rudy Giuliani

I drink your milkshake, but I'm paying for it with gold. -- Ron Paul

I will fight the corporations so that you can drink your own milkshake. -- John Edwards

I have 35 years of milkshake-drinking experience. *sob* -- Hillary Clinton

I peacefully drink your milkshake. -- Dennis Kucinich

Link

[#1 posted by indiecognition , January 18, 2008 1:04 PM]

my milkshake brangs all the boys to the yard!

[#2 posted by crayonbeam , January 18, 2008 1:11 PM]

Kucinich is vegan, so I hope it's a soy/almond/rice/whatever "milk"shake.

[#3 posted by Santa's Knee , January 18, 2008 1:25 PM]

"Kucinich is vegan, so I hope it's a soy/almond/rice/whatever "milk"shake."

Well, he's off my list of viable candidates...

[#4 posted by Jardine , January 18, 2008 1:35 PM]

So Kucinich can't even have a Krusty partially gelatinated non-dairy gum-based beverage because of the gelatin? Poor guy.

[#5 posted by thivai , January 18, 2008 2:12 PM]

"So Kucinich can't even have a Krusty partially gelatinated non-dairy gum-based beverage because of the gelatin? Poor guy."

Well, it depends. Does "gelatinated" mean it's "made from gelatin" or is it "in a gelatinous style"? The gum base would make me think it might not need gelatin to have that Krusty-approved thickness. He might be okay.

Though Kucinich should probably look into getting some meat in his system, being half-troll and all. His troll peoples are probably upset about his lack of goat-eating or bridge-living-under.

[#6 posted by pnind9 , January 18, 2008 2:39 PM]

Wow, I can't believe this made the cut. This is not at all funny.

[#7 posted by Dizbuster , January 18, 2008 3:12 PM]

Hey PNIND9, I'm with you all the way on this one. Just plain stupid.

[#8 posted by Mark Frauenfelder , January 18, 2008 3:15 PM]

Attention! Attention! PNIN9 has declared this post to be devoid of humor. Those persons who mistakenly found it funny shall report to PNIN9's office for brain reprogramming. He will teach you what's funny and what isn't, by God.

[#9 posted by Mike8787 , January 18, 2008 3:20 PM]

Apparently Obama got a free pass on the satire train this week.

[#10 posted by edgore , January 18, 2008 3:50 PM]

Obama hopes to drink your milkshake

[#11 posted by edgore , January 18, 2008 3:51 PM]

Looking over this list, it reads like an endorsement for Edwards, the only candidate who is fighting for your milkshake.

[#12 posted by obskewer , January 18, 2008 4:20 PM]

#7,8 I believe this is in reference to a line at the end of There Will Be Blood. At least that's what it made me think of.

[#13 posted by edgore , January 18, 2008 4:34 PM]

An explanation - http://nymag.com/daily/entertainment/2008/01/i_drink_your_milkshake.html

[#14 posted by Rob, Denmark , January 18, 2008 6:50 PM]

Attention! Attention! PNIN9 has declared this post to be devoid of humor. Those persons who mistakenly found it funny shall report to PNIN9's office for brain reprogramming. He will teach you what's funny and what isn't, by God.

I'm going to need the adress for that office then.

[#15 posted by aileinduinn , January 18, 2008 8:02 PM]

Change "milkshake" to "kool-aid" and I think its a clearer picture of the U.S. Political system.

To obscure?

[#16 posted by mystro , January 18, 2008 8:57 PM]

They said this milkshake would never come. -- Barack Obama

[#17 posted by Eric Scharf , January 18, 2008 9:05 PM]

I thought John Edwards was the son of a milkshake.

[#18 posted by jdunn14 , January 19, 2008 6:14 AM]

#15

Room 101.

[#19 posted by spankbot , January 19, 2008 2:05 PM]

"I'll take %60 of your milkshake, now!" -- Hillary Clinton

"Have you been injured in a milkshake accident? If so, call me at 1-800-slip-n-fall" -- John Edwards

"When I was abducted by aliens they gave be a milkshake after the probing." -- Dennis Kucinich

[#20 posted by tenbull , January 19, 2008 2:36 PM]

Those milkshakes were drunk in vain!
-Mike Gravel

[#21 posted by Mark Frauenfelder , January 19, 2008 3:47 PM]

I ordered a type O milkshake, not AB!

-- Jonathon "The Impaler" Sharkey

[#22 posted by Mark Frauenfelder , January 19, 2008 3:49 PM]

Despite my name being on the milkshake, I did not make it, nor was I aware that it had been made.

-- Ron Paul

[#23 posted by goodbyekitty , January 20, 2008 7:03 PM]

"I'll put out my cigarette in your f'in milkshake."

Laura Bush