More fun with Amazon reviews: this time, Bic pens

Mike says: Some folks are having great fun with their reviews of a standard Bic black ballpoint pen.
200712121341 "I looked down at the Bic Crystal black medium ballpoint pen which I held in my hand, only to see darkness. I dashed it against the wall, recoiling in horror. I saw in the corner of my eye my faithful notebook, which now lay on the ground. Once unmarred, I saw now the small mark which I had made with the devil's own pen. It spread across the page like a plague, and looking at it I gazed upon true horrors. For, what I thought had been ink was in fact a portal to a dark, unforgiving dimension. A portal whose maw was now widening to engulf all hope and joy in the world.

'God, what have I done?' I exclaimed as I weeped and fell to my knees, 'What have I done?'

From beyond the Dark Gate I heard these words, words which I can never forget. A terrible, booming voice said to me, 'Ia! Ia! Cthulhu Fthagn!'"

Link

Previously on Boing Boing:
Reviews for milk on Amazon are funny


Discussion

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That's brilliant! Perhaps Amazon will be smart and keep these reviews up and maybe put the best of them into a book one of these days. That could be a fun read.

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I reviewed a Vietnamese phrase book on Amazon some years ago. In Vietnamese. With phrases from the book. Last I checked, it was still there.

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I still see a bic pen and remember as 4th grader how I would imagine it was a one-man submarine with that cockpit-like pen cap

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well over at IMDB (Internet Movie Data Base)they have a new feature. Users can create the Biography for the character of any movie.

For example someone could follow the link and write one for Archibald Asparagus from Jonah: A VeggieTales Movie.

http://www.imdb.com/character/ch0031237/bio

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Someone needs to write a review of these as if they were Light Yagami from the manga/anime "Death Note," if it hasn't been done already.

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Don't forget to order your Uranium Ore from Amazon. A great last minute stocking stuffer!
http://www.amazon.com/Uranium-Ore/dp/B000796XXM

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Reviews for Speculums were once up there on the pretty nifty side of odd Amazon reviews. Sadly, a lot of them have been taken away by Powers-that-be.

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Saw someone mailed this into Neil Gaiman today. Thats just fantastic, really. Laughing at the uranium ones now.

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I think you'll agree that the Banterist "Apple iPad" is the perfect accompaniment to the classic Bic ballpoint pen, especially for your dad. It's "completely user-friendly and relies on your dad's own handwriting recognition capabilities":
http://www.banterist.com/archivefiles/000218.html

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#11 posted by Anonymous , January 21, 2008 10:03 PM

Another great one, on Ping (a children's book about a duck):
http://www.amazon.com/Story-about-Reading-Railroad-Books/dp/0448421658

The first review starts out:

PING! The magic duck!

Using deft allegory, the authors have provided an insightful and intuitive explanation of one of Unix's most venerable networking utilities. Even more stunning is that they were clearly working with a very early beta of the program, as their book first appeared in 1933, years (decades!) before the operating system and network infrastructure were finalized.

The book describes networking in terms even a child could understand, choosing to anthropomorphize the underlying packet structure. ...

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