Accused flasher's defense: embrarassingly small penis
Michael Carney, in a Teesside, England, court on charges of being a serial flasher, claimed that there's no way he could be guilty because his penis is so small that he's too embarrassed to show it anyone. The repeat offender was convicted of seven counts of "outraging public decency." From the BBC News:
During the three-day trial the defendant told the court: "It causes embarrassment to myself, even to the point where it is with my wife. I wouldn't want myself to be seen in public like that.Link (via Fortean Times)
"My genitalia are underdeveloped and it is so much smaller than average."
He showed the jury photographs taken by his wife to prove his claims.
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On a peripherally related note, I have developed the bad habit of writing "SMALL PENIS" on the backs of parked Hummer vehicles with soap, cheese, or whatever's at hand.
If enough people began to do so, they might well go extinct.
"I'm not a Flasher! Here let me show you my penis to prove it."
Hmmm...That probably works as well as the "I'm not a pickpocket! Here, I'll give you your wallet back to prove it: defense
Well, I hope he enjoys his flashing the court enough to keep him happy when they hand down a "guilty" verdict...
"Teesside" it's beside the Tees. Double 's'.
Bud, I think someone's been tampering with your cornflakes. Try having something else for breakfast tomorrow.
The Chimpokomon defense!
@MARSHN (#3), thanks! Fixed!
Hee hee.
For the record, the animal with the longest penis relative to its size is the barnacle. But I'm ducks have very nice penises too.
NCM,
I simply hold my hand out the window and give them the “this big” sign as they drive by. Ya know, kinda like Maxwell Smart saying “Missed it by this much.”
I’m guessing the defendant in this case drives a Tahoe with $800 wheels.