Fresh-baked cookies used as torture implement
A drug-deal gone bad in Illinois led to two students allegedly kidnapping a man whom they said owed them money and torturing him with, among other things, scalding fresh-baked cookies, laid on his bare skin.
The suspects beat the man with a wooden paddle, burned his neck and shoulders with cookies immediately after taking them from the oven, shaved off some of his hair and poured urine over him from a soda bottle, Wells said.Link (Thanks, Dave!)
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oh crap, they're going to ban cookies in flights now :(
Sounds as much like modern sexual practices as it does a drug deal gone bad.
So they just happened to have been baking cookies (from a tube or a mix?) when this went down?
And they just happened to have piss in a bottle lying around?
Man am I glad I don't live in that apartment, house, dorm, or whatever--guess "pigsty" would be the best term.
wow, that's creative!
they were probably just combining torture with having the munchies, thereby killing two birds with one stone...
The sugar in the cookies was probably very effective in burning skin. Ever get oven hot sugar on your skin? It burns bad and the burn goes deep too. Nasty and not at all "fun".
This could be an 'All American" replacement for water boarding perhaps... plus you get to have a snack during your break from the breaks...
CIA = Cookies In Action
It's just as well they were criminals, and not terrorists, otherwise cookies would now be banned.
When cookies are banned, only criminals will have cookies. :(
Stop! No! No more cookies! Pleeeeeeeeease!
Good thing they weren't using falafel, huh?
Oh No! We forgot to ask the new attorney general what he thought about COOKIEBOARDING!!!!
My first thought was did they get urine on the cookies, but people who put urine in a soda bottle probably wouldn't care.
"So they just happened to have been baking cookies (from a tube or a mix?) when this went down?"
hello! theyre potheads!
name 2 things stoners do:
1 get the munchies
2 sit around and do nothing
therefore, the cookies and the bottle of piss make perfect sense
cookies for the munchies, bottle to piss in beats the incredibly complicated task of standing, putting one foot in front of the other, and everything else that goes with going to the bathroom, while high
Kind of a dumb move on the part of the students. If they had just waterboarded the guy they couldn't be prosecuted for torture. Not in America at least.
*sigh*
I'd never make it as a torturer. My first thought was "Oh, man! They baked cookies and ate them in front of him, that incredible scent filling the air, and didn't let him have any, didn't they? Heartless bastards!"
Those guys are rank amateurs.
as someone who loves a freshly baked and still gooey chocolate chip cookie, i can tell you that there is definitely an element of pain/pleasure.
"Now -- you will stay in the Comfy Chair until lunch time, with only a cup of coffee at eleven."
"Sounds as much like modern sexual practices as it does a drug deal gone bad."
Remind me not to date Agnot.
Skwid - I thought exactly the same thing. I also have trouble with the good cop/good cop questioning technique. My captives never talk.
Re: 'Phlavor''s post:
"Now -- you will stay in the Comfy Chair until lunch time, with only a cup of coffee at eleven."
And if THAT doesn't work - we'll torture you with the CUSHY PILLOW!
MWHAH hah hah hah!
NO-body expects the SPANISH INQUI ... the SPANISH INQUI ... NOBODY expects COOKIEBOARDING!
(Next, on Dateline NBC - the debate between 'chocolate chip' versus 'oatmeal'.)
mmmmmmm....torture
Dear Unusual Suspect,
How fetching of you.
What do you think of the image on the Rune Olsen's article?
Yours,
freeman
These real-life cookie monsters must be made an example of. I'm surprised this has yet to be linked to the Keebler / Little Debbie turf war that has claimed the lives of countless patriotic elves. Stop the madness, end the US dependence on foreign snack foods!
I live nextdoor to these clowns...it is actually a black fraternity that is owned by my landlord and i think it is crazy how they burned this kid. The kids other two friends grabbed the weed and took off leaving their friend behind to get tortured...great friends but they did get the weed. Another thing is is that the frat tortures were so stupid that they drove the kid to his friends house cause he said he would get the money so he went inside, called the cops while the frat fuckers were waiting outside, and the cops came and arrested them...stupid!!! and who wastes cookies??? F'n idiots, so now theyre expelled, and have counts of kidnapping, assault and battery...theyre going to do 3-5 and not have anymore cookies...let me know if anyone has any questions about this bizarre situation