Oh, if only we knew what these ads are trying to say.

The recently-released ad campaign (left half of image) for Tom Ford's new fragrance for men is anything but ambiguous. But what's funniest about this is an oddly similar internet site (at right) hawking "Vulva" perfume with identical product placement.

The name, the ad copy (a "beguiling vaginal scent"), and the url, (smellmeand.com) all scream "hoax." Now that I've seen the Ford ad, though, sheesh, I'm not so sure.

Link to Adrants' blurb about the Ford campaign, and here's the other vajayjay ad (NSFW, contains nudity and stuff).

Bonus: Don't miss the super cheesy video on that "Vulva" site, and take a peek at the html keywords in the header if you want to learn a ton of dirty words in Italian, German, and other languages I can't recognize. I don't know what the hell "bacak arasi," "koku," "insankokusu," or "yarak" mean, but I have a feeling they'd make the pope blush. (thanks, Susannah Breslin!)

Update: A number of BB readers wrote in to school us on these foreign terms tucked away in the headers on the "Vulva" website. Erin Yazgan says,

"Bacak arasi," "koku," "insankokusu," and "yarak" are all Turkish words/phrases, meaning "inner leg," "smell," "human smell," and "cock (or any other derogatory term for penis)".

Discussion

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The video with Mr. Euro-Lothario taking a whiff of VULVA off the back of his hand, while two nekkid women stroke and frolic nearby, is too funny. Presumably this depicts the exciting fantasies generated by the inhalation of VULVA.

I think the real application of this product (if it's real) is in pranks. Sneak into the conference room shortly before your next Big Meeting, discreetly slather a bit onto the nearest AC vent, and wait for the fun to begin...

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I **really** don't want to see the 70's Retro version of the Tom Ford cologne ad...

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#3 posted by Anonymous , September 17, 2007 6:19 PM

That Vulva site is real, It has been remodeled over the past year however. It's a real company and a real fragrance believe it or not.

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#4 posted by Anonymous , September 17, 2007 6:44 PM

The Tom Ford ad is exactly what Bill Hicks predicted for the future of advertising.

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#5 posted by Anonymous , September 17, 2007 7:06 PM

Somewhere, the disembodied spirit of Bill Hicks is laughing its ass off right now.

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#6 posted by Anonymous , September 17, 2007 7:16 PM

I am a male; and if I wanted to attract females on me using cologne I would not want to smell (stink?) anything like a vulva (unless, of course, I needed to conjure up Sappho's stanzas). I'd want to exude the scent of higher vertebrates; catch me. The ad, albeit far from unique, in and of itself is most welcome to ponder (salivate) upon, albeit far from unique, for I have seen many a time women purporting to stimulating their organs by rubbing against cars when they are trying to sell them...Pussy sells, of course: the oldest trade; but it has to be "centered" appropriately.

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#7 posted by Anonymous , September 17, 2007 7:46 PM

hey there BB,

just wanted to clarify what those words that u didn't know mean -
all are Turkish words;
koku - means smell or scent, could also be used for parfume/cologne
insankokusu - means human scent
bacak arasi - literally means 'between the legs' but used for genital reference or sexual content
yarak - is penis in slang. the regular word for penis is penis in Turkish as well.

just wanted to clarify; been reading ur posts for years now, and seeing something i could help out, didn't wanna miss the opportunity.

you guys are awesome!

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#8 posted by Anonymous , September 17, 2007 10:43 PM

Well, at least the German-language part of that vulva site claims it's *not* a perfume, but something for you to smell in the privacy of your home and enjoy the images it brings to mind.

It also says: Don't swallow, don't bring into contact with eyes or other membranes, call a doctor if you swallow it.

And they claim it is actually a concentrate of a woman's scent, i.e. bodily fluids.

You're right, it screams hoax, but it's superbly done. And there's not the slightest hint on the site that they might not be serious, except that it's pretty crazy right from the start.

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#9 posted by Anonymous , September 18, 2007 6:00 AM

I'm curious why you censored the woman's nipples in the thumbnail above... Why were these particular nipples found to be more offensive than the nipples displayed in previous Boing Boing posts?

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I'm guessing this is for Otaku fanboys who don't have a chance in hell of getting some real stinkyfinger, so they can trick their friends into thinking they got some -

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#11 posted by Anonymous , September 18, 2007 8:53 AM

I think people are kinda missing the point - well not really... BUT the moment I saw this ad I thought of the Bill Hicks diatribe about/against the ad industry.

To whit - the ultimate advert - a slow camera zoom out, revealing a naked masturbating woman. And the caption? 'Drink Coke'.

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#12 posted by Anonymous , September 18, 2007 9:24 AM

This reminds me loads of the late comedian Bill Hicks' remarks on what the future of advertising, or what the "perfect" advertisement would be.

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@Anonymous #9 -- far be it from me to censor nipples on BoingBoing. No, that's the original, untouched (just resized) pic from the website. I guess the top she's wearing has built-in pasties. XJ

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I'm thinking it's for guys of all kinds who want to add extra sensory detail to their private sessions with themselves.

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#15 posted by Anonymous , September 18, 2007 7:42 PM

That isn't a vulva in the Tom Ford ad. Does it look like one to you?

That model is delicately fondling her tiny, boy-like, glass penis, and nobody here seems to have noticed.

Not only that, but no one will admit that it's a glass penis.

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