Heifer hoofs it from meat plant, dodges SUV, train, murders 2,000

Just kidding about the last part. Snip: "A cow that escaped a slaughterhouse dodged vehicles, ran in front of a train, braved the icy Missouri River and took three tranquilizer darts before being recaptured six hours later. News of the heifer's adventures prompted a number of people to offer to buy the animal." Link (Thanks, Oswaldo)

Reader comment: Jon Power says,

I take it no Brit has trumped your heiffer yet? We had two very famous pigs that did a runner from the abbattoir, way back in 1998! Link. They had to swim a river, and so got nicknamed Butch and Sundance. One was on the run for days, it was a huge story at the time. Ask any Brit, they'll remember.

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