"If I could speak English, I would..."

Ads with quotes from "real people" in Japan are often written by copywriters, but even if these aren't actual answers, the responses provide a glimpse into the process of a Japanese company selling English to possible customers. Here is a translation of the first several responses:

# I would live in Hawaii with lots of dogs.
# I would lecture the loud foreigners on the train.
# I would raise my children in America: one artist, one computer programmer.
# I would watch DVDs without subtitles.
# In the future, I would want to not be isolated from my friends in the Space Station.
# I would make all my subordinates Americans and start a hamburger joint with great atmosphere.