Responding to your critics always makes you look like an asshole

There's an old truism that any artist who responds to her/his critics comes off looking like an asshole, and no more proof is needed than this, an asinine letter that Rob Schneider published in the form of a full-page paid ad in Variety to respond to a critic who slammed Duece Bigalow Two on the front page of the LA Times. Man, he comes off looking like an asshole in spades here. Full page ad in Variety to publish this twaddle? Christ, that's practically the definition of too much money, not enough sense.

My name is Rob Schneider and I am responding to your January 26th front page cover story in the LA Times, where you used my upcoming sequel to 'Deuce Bigalow' as an example of why Hollywood Studios are lagging behind the Independents in Academy nominations. According to your logic, Hollywood Studios are too busy making sequels like "Deuce Bigalow' instead of making movies that you would like to see.

Well Mr. Goldstein, as far as your snide comments about me and my film not being nominated for an Academy Award, I decided to do some research to find what awards you have won.

I went online and found that you have won nothing. Absolutely nothing. No journalistic awards of any kind, Disappointed, I went to the Pulitzer Prize database of past winners and nominees. I though, surely, there must be an omission. I typed in the name Patrick Goldstein and again, zippo–nada. No Pulitzer Prizes or nominations for a 'Mr. Patrick Goldstein.' There was, however, a nomination for an Amy Goldstein. I contacted Ms. Goldstein in Rhode Island, she assured me she was not an alias of yours and in fact like most of the World had no idea of our existence.

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(via Waxy)